“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Communism may have no class but clever word play certainly does.
That’s our cue for another Pun Day.
Enjoy or endure!
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I’m against picketing,
but I don’t know how to show it.
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I saw a man walking along the street
with a t-shirt that said ‘Free Hugs’.
I don’t know who ‘Hugs’ is,
but I’m sure they should release him.
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I went for a job interview at
my local sandwich shop today.
As an aptitude test, the shop owner
asked me to make a beef sandwich
using only a spoon.
Unfortunately I didn’t get the job
– I couldn’t cut the mustard.
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A committee is a group of people
who keep minutes and lose hours.
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I was given the sack at work last month.
I suppose you have to expect that
when you play Santa Clause.
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I can’t speak for anyone else,
but I think I’m a terrible ventriloquist.
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My girlfriend talked me into putting
table salt into my bath today.
I think I’ve been brine washed.
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I saw a strange white bear at the zoo today.
It was mating with a female bear then it
suddenly it tried mating with a male bear.
I think it’s Bi Polar.
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Never employ someone who’s obsessed with graphs.
They’ll always be plotting behind your back.
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I got a real telling off yesterday
when we were visiting grandma.
She has a very hairy upper lip
and when we were leaving, she asked
me why I wouldn’t kiss her good bye.
Apparently my answer, “Sorry, must-dash,”
wasn’t the best choice of words.
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How does an angry Muslim close a door?
Islams it.
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I’ve just seen a sign in the post office that said
“Stamps sold by the book”.
It’s good to know that someone follows the rules.
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I decided to open an
exclusive hotel and casino
for people who have epilepsy.
It’s called Seizure’s Palace.
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I went to the pet shop to buy some breeding birds.
The cashier said, “Have you got a store card?”
I said, “No but I did get a budgie excited once.”
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My friend has just rung to say
he’s bought a bubble car.
He’s going to pop round in it later.
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