A Mish Mash Quiz Today.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Welcome to today’s quiz on the fasab blog.

Another challenging selection of questions for you.

And if you get stuck you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating.

Enjoy and good luck.

.

quiz 05

.

Q.  1.  M*A*S*H was a famous book, movie and TV series, but what do the letters M A S H stand for?

.

.

Q.  2. Wind transports approximately how many millions of tonnes of dust from the Sahara to the Amazon every year?

          a) 4 million tonnes        b) 40 million tonnes        c) 400 million tonnes

.

.

Q.  3.  What city is known as ‘The City Of Tigers’ ? (HINT: it is not in Asia.)

.

.

Q.  4.  ‘Ring of Bright Water’ is a book about which creatures?

.

.

Q.  5.  This one is the name of a rich fruit cake decorated with almonds, a town in Scotland, and the last name of a comic Australian movie character. What is it?

.

.

Q.  6.  In which country is the legendary city of Timbuktu? (If you have been following the TV series American Odyssey you’ll know this one.)

.

.

Q.  7.  A multi-point question. What currencies are used in the following countries?

           a) USA          b) Britain          c) Japan           d) Europe          e) China

.

.

Q.  8.  What percentage of internet users quit waiting for a video to load after 10 seconds?

            a) 10%         b) 20%         c) 30%         d) 40%         e) 50%          f) 60%

.

.

Q.  9.  What were the first names of the four main characters of the long running and highly successful TV series ‘The Golden Girls’ ? (Bonus points if you can also correctly name the actresses who played them.)

.

.

Q. 10.  In 1929, US Army Air Corps Lieutenant General John MacCready asked Bausch & Lomb, a New York-based medical equipment manufacturer, to create aviation sunglasses that would ban the sun rays and reduce the headaches and nausea experienced by his pilots. What name were they given?

.

.

Q. 11.  “The devil on two sticks” is a former name for which juggling-like game?

.

.

Q. 12.  What are the four largest countries on Earth by area? (A point for each you name correctly and a bonus point if you get them in the correct order, starting with the largest.)

.

.

Q. 13.  What is the painting, ‘La Gioconda’, more usually known as?

.

.

Q. 14.  What is the name of the traditional Irish potato and cabbage dish?

.

.

Q. 15.  What is the name of John Lennon’s widow?

.

.

Q. 16.  With whom is the fictional character ‘Alfred Pennyworth’ associated?

.

.

Q. 17.  Who is the largest American retailer of lingerie?

.

.

Q. 18.  In the Bible what are the names of the first and last books of the New Testament?

.

.

Q. 19.  What was the name of the flamboyant and controversial Australian actor who starred in many movies during the 1930s, 1940s and 1950s and played characters like ‘Robin Hood’ and ‘George Custer’?

.

.

Q. 20.  What was the name of the group that Paul McCartney went on to form in 1970 after The Beatles split up?

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

ANSWERS

.

Q.  1.  M*A*S*H was a famous book, movie and TV series, but what do the latters M A S H stand for?

A.  1.  Mobile Army Surgical Hospital.

.

.

Q.  2. Wind transports approximately how many millions of tonnes of dust from the Sahara to the Amazon every year?

          a) 4 million tonnes          b) 40 million tonnes          c) 400 million tonnes

A.  2. The correct answer is b) 40 million tonnes.

.

.

Q.  3.  What city is known as ‘The City Of Tigers’ ? (HINT: it is not in Asia.)

A.  3.  It’s Oslo, Norway. (Apparently because the city was referred to as ‘Tigerstaden’ (the City of Tigers) by the author Bjørnstjerne Bjørnson around 1870, due to his perception of the city as a cold and dangerous place.

.

.

Q.  4.  ‘Ring of Bright Water’ is a book about which creatures?

A.  4.  Otters.

.

.

Q.  5.  This one is the name of a rich fruit cake decorated with almonds, a town in Scotland, and the last name of  a comic Australian movie character. What is it?

A.  5.  It is ‘Dundee’.

.

.

Q.  6.  In which country is the legendary city of Timbuktu? (If you have been following the TV series American Odyssey you’ll know this one.)

A.  6.  Mali, Africa.

.

.

Q.  7.  A multi-point question. What currencies are used in the following countries?

         a) USA       b) Britain       c) Japan       d) Europe       e) China

A.  7.  a) Dollar      b) Pound        c) Yen          d) Euro         e) Yuan Renminbi

.

.

Q.  8.  What percentage of internet users quit waiting for a video to load after 10 seconds?

            a) 10%         b) 20%         c) 30%         d) 40%         e) 50%          f) 60%

A.  8.  The correct answer is e) 50%.

.

.

Q.  9.  What were the first names of the four main characters of the long running and highly successful TV series ‘The Golden Girls’ ? (Bonus points if you can also correctly name the actresses who played them.)

A.  9.  They were Dorothy Zbornak (played by Bea Arthur); Rose Nylund (played by Betty White); Blanche Devereaux (played by Rue McClanahan); and Sophia Petrillo (played by Estelle Getty).

.

.

Q. 10.  In 1929, US Army Air Corps Lieutenant General John MacCready asked Bausch & Lomb, a New York-based medical equipment manufacturer, to create aviation sunglasses that would ban the sun rays and reduce the headaches and nausea experienced by his pilots. What name were they given?

A. 10.  They were called Ray Ban.

.

.

Q. 11.  “The devil on two sticks” is a former name for which juggling-like game?

A. 11.  Diabolo.

.

.

Q. 12.  What are the four largest countries on Earth by area? (A point for each you name correctly and a bonus point if you get them in the correct order, starting with the largest.)

A. 12.  1)  Russia         2)  Canada          3)  United States          4) PR China

.

.

Q. 13.  What is the painting, ‘La Gioconda’, more usually known as?

A. 13.  The Mona Lisa.

.

.

Q. 14.  What is the name of the traditional Irish potato and cabbage dish?

A. 14.  Colcannon.

.

.

Q. 15.  What is the name of John Lennon’s widow?

A. 15.  Yoko Ono.

.

.

Q. 16.  With whom is the fictional character ‘Alfred Pennyworth’ associated?

A. 16.  He is butler to Bruce Wayne, aka Batman.

.

.

Q. 17.  Who is the largest American retailer of lingerie?

A. 17.  Victoria’s Secret.

.

.

Q. 18.  In the Bible what are the names of the first and last books of the New Testament?

A. 18.  They are the book of Matthew and the book of Revelation.

.

.

Q. 19.  What was the name of the flamboyant and controversial Australian actor who starred in many movies during the 1930s, 1940s and 1950s and played characters like ‘Robin Hood’ and ‘George Custer’?

A. 19.  He was Errol Flynn.

.

.

Q. 20.  What was the name of the group that Paul McCartney went on to form in 1970 after The Beatles split up?

A. 20.  It was called ‘Wings’, have a taste….

.

.

==============================

.

Movies, Music And Murder In Today’s Quiz.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Yes, movies, music and murder all appear in today’s quiz.

Lots of other subjects too.

And as usual, if you get stuck, you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

.

puzzle, test, exam. quiz, assessment

.

Q.  1:  Who was assassinated at the theater by John Wilkes Booth?

.

.

Q.  2:  What is the most abundant substance found in the plant kingdom?

.

.

Q.  3:  What well known city in the Far East is known as ‘The Lion City’ ?

.

.

Q.  4:  Who discovered the law that the volume of a given mass of gas at a constant temperature is inversely proportional to its pressure?

.

.

Q.  5:  What type of creature is a Pacific sea wasp?

.

.

Q.  6:  Which of Napoleon’s victories had a chicken dish named after it?

.

.

Q.  7:  In which country is the port of Fray Bentos?

.

.

Q.  8:  What was the name of the English galleon best known for her circumnavigation of the globe between 1577 and 1580, captained by Sir Francis Drake?

.

.

Q.  9:  English novelist John Meade Falkner, not to be confused with the famous American author John Faulkner, published three novels. ‘The Nebuly Coat’ was one of them, you get a point for each of the other two you can name correctly and two bonus points if you get both of them correct.

.

.

Q. 10:  What are the only two numbers on a dartboard to lie between two odd ones?

.

.

Q. 11:  What wind is a warm southerly coming from the Sahara Desert over the Mediterranean?

.

.

Q. 12:  What is the largest flat fish species?

.

.

Q. 13:  Which Washington D.C. born oscar-winning actress wrote ‘A Lotus Grows in the Mud’ ?

.

.

Q. 14:  Kareem Abdul-Jabbar played 20 seasons in which sport?

.

.

Q. 15:  What item of clothing was named after its Scottish inventor?

.

.

Q. 16:  On which continent would you find the world’s most ancient forest?

.

.

Q. 17:  Bray Studios, near Windsor in Berkshire, England was home to which famous brand of horror films? 

.

.

Q. 18:  Which kind of flower bulbs were once exchanged as a form of currency?

.

.

Q. 19:  Name the three primary colors.

.

.

Q. 20:  What was the name of the song performed by Eton John, a revised version of which became a mega-hit after being sung live by Elton at Princess Diana’s funeral? A bonus point if you can also correctly name the sub-title given to the latter version.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

ANSWERS

.

Q.  1:  Who was assassinated at the theater by John Wilkes Booth?

A.  1:  Abraham Lincoln.

.

.

Q.  2:  What is the most abundant substance found in the plant kingdom?

A.  2:  Cellulose.

.

.

Q.  3:  What well known city in the Far East is known as ‘The Lion City’ ?

A.  3:  Singapore.

.

.

Q.  4:  Who discovered the law that the volume of a given mass of gas at a constant temperature is inversely proportional to its pressure?

A.  4:  Robert Boyle.

.

.

Q.  5:  What type of creature is a Pacific sea wasp?

A.  5:  It is a Jellyfish.

.

.

Q.  6:  Which of Napoleon’s victories had a chicken dish named after it?

A.  6:  Marengo.

.

.

Q.  7:  In which country is the port of Fray Bentos?

A.  7:  In the South American country Uruguay.

.

.

Q.  8:  What was the name of the English galleon best known for her circumnavigation of the globe between 1577 and 1580, captained by Sir Francis Drake?

A.  8:  It was the Golden Hind or Golden Hinde.

.

.

Q.  9:  English novelist John Meade Falkner, not to be confused with the famous American author John Faulkner, published three novels. ‘The Nebuly Coat’ was one of them, you get a point for each of the other two you can name correctly and two bonus points if you get both of them correct.

A.  9:  They are ‘The Lost Stradivarius’ and ‘Moonfleet’.

.

.

Q. 10:  What are the only two numbers on a dartboard to lie between two odd ones?

A. 10:  3 and 19 (there is a run of four odd numbers around the bottom – 17,3,19,7, nowhere else is there a run of more than 2 consecutive odd or even numbers).

.

.

Q. 11:  What wind is a warm southerly coming from the Sahara Desert over the Mediterranean?

A. 11:  Sirocco.

.

.

Q. 12:  What is the largest flat fish species?

A. 12:  Halibut.

.

.

Q. 13:  Which Washington D.C. born oscar-winning actress wrote ‘A Lotus Grows in the Mud’ ?

A. 13:  Goldie Hawn.

.

.

Q. 14:  Kareem Abdul-Jabbar played 20 seasons in which sport?

A. 14:  Basketball.

.

.

Q. 15:  What item of clothing was named after its Scottish inventor?

A. 15:  A mackintosh.

.

.

Q. 16:  On which continent would you find the world’s most ancient forest?

A. 16:  In Australia specifically Daintree Forest, north of Cairns.

.

.

Q. 17:  Bray Studios, near Windsor in Berkshire, England was home to which famous brand of horror films? 

A. 17:  Hammer Horror.

.

.

Q. 18:  Which kind of flower bulbs were once exchanged as a form of currency?

A. 18:  Tulips.

.

.

Q. 19:  Name the three primary colors.

A. 19:  Red, yellow and blue.

.

.

Q. 20:  What was the name of the song performed by Eton John, a revised version of which became a mega-hit after being sung live by Elton at Princess Diana’s funeral? A bonus point if you can also correctly name the sub-title given to the latter version.

A. 20:  It was ‘Candle in the wind’. For your bonus point the sub-title for the revised version was ‘Goodbye England’s Rose’.

.

.

==================================

.

“I Think,” Said The Sweet Potato, “Therefore I Yam.”

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
.
Well today I yam the poster of more puns.
Keep your groans handy, you might need ‘em.
Enjoy or endure.
rofl.

.
You can say what you like

about freedom of speech.

freedom_of_speech_in_europe

.
.
I would love to dance at a metric party,

but I have two left 0.305 meters.

Meter-to-Foot-conversion
.
.
Waiters are good at multiplication

because they know their tables.

waiter
.
.
I accidentally grabbed a

live electric cable yesterday.

It really Hertz.

live electric cable
.
.
Capital punishment.

capital PUNISHMENT
.
.
I used to work at a car garage

that had a jet wash.

It was pointless,

there was nowhere for them to land.

airplane washing
.
.
I got a 24 hour clock from

a garage sale for only 10/c.

They’ll be so mad,

it’s lasted far longer.

24 hour clock
.
.
I’m in court accused of the murders of

Dracula and Monte Cristo.

I’m pleading guilty to both Counts.

Dracula and Monte Cristo
.
.
There’s a Muslim in the street carrying a gun.

Police say he’s Ahmed and dangerous.

Ahmed and dangerous
.
.
My ex girlfriend text to say that

she’d made a voodoo doll of me.

I think she’s pulling my leg.

Voodoo-doll
.
.
I used to have a job in the police force,

in which I’d break into secure

computer files to uncover criminal activity.

That was until I was met by one system

that proved I wasn’t up to the job.

I just couldn’t hack it.

hacker

.
.
Driving home, I noticed I had a

police car right up my ass.

Must have a word with my nephew

about leaving his toys lying around.

toy-police-car
.
.
I’d been worrying about my

geography exam for a long time.

When I sat down to take it,

the first question read;

“What is the correct term for any wind that

blows between 4 and 30 miles per hour?”

I don’t know what I was worried about.

It was a breeze.

breeze
.
.
I was so nervous when I met my

future father-in-law that i blurted out,

“Sir, May I have your daughters

hole in handy matrimony?”

met my future father-in-law
.
.
What do you call a bunch of

kleptomaniacs with musical instruments?

A Steal Band.
.


.
============================================
.

Controversial Post? – Should We Get Rid Of Homos?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Some blogs meander along trying to be very politically correct. But not here at fasab. Controversial or not, the philosophy here is to tell it as it is.

So to repeat the question in the title…. 

Should we get rid of homos?

.

Of course, I’m talking about homographs and homophones – I don’t know what YOU were thinking of?

If you are a regular visitor to this blog you will know that quite often we have a look at amusing misprints or mistakes on signs, classified ads, newspaper headlines, or wherever else they can be found.

Nearly always the problem is peoples’ failure to grasp the intricacies of the English language.

If you are born and bred in an English speaking country then it is relatively easy to grasp the basics of the language, although there is a steady deterioration in some of these, like speleling for example. (That was a deliberate mistake for comic affect by the way.)

So what about the homos then?

For those who haven’t made up their mind yet, a homograph – (also known as a heteronym, but where would have been the fun in that title?) – is a word of the same written form as another but of different meaning and usually different origin.

Sometimes it is pronounced the same as the other word, in which case it is known as a homograph.

homograph definition

Sometimes they are pronounced differently, in which case they are called homophones.

homophone definition

An example of the former is the word “letter” which is pronounced the same whether the meaning is a message written to someone, or to describe a particular member of the alphabet such as ‘A’, ‘B’, ‘C’, etc.

An example of the latter could be the word “lead” which is pronounced differently if it means a metal (“the lead was very heavy”), or to be the front runner of a group of people (“he was in the lead”).

There are a lot more homos around than you might at first think. Here are just a few examples I saw recently. I hope you find them interesting and maybe even begin to realize what a nightmare learning the English language must be for those not immersed in it from a very young age.

.

1) The bandage was “wound” around the “wound”.

.

2) The farm was used to “produce” “produce”.

.

3) The dump was so full that it had to “refuse” more “refuse”.

.

4) We must “polish” the “Polish” furniture.

.

5) He could “lead” if he would get the “lead” out.

.

6) The soldier decided to “desert”  his “dessert” in the “desert”.

.

7) Since there is no time like the “present”, he thought it was time to “present” the “present”.

.

8) A “bass” was painted on the head of the “bass” drum.

.

9) When shot at the “dove”  “dove” into the bushes.

.

10) I did not “object” to the “object”.

.

11) The insurance was “invalid” for the “invalid”.

.

12) There was a “row” among the oarsmen about how to “row”.

.

13) They were too “close” to the door to “close” it.

.

14) The buck “does” funny things when the “does” are present.

.

15) A seamstress and a “sewer” fell down into a “sewer” line.

.

16) The farmer used a “sow” to help him “sow” the crop.

.

17) The “wind” was too strong to “wind” the sail.

.

18) Upon seeing the “tear” in the painting I shed a “tear”.

.

19) I had to “subject” the “subject” to a series of tests.

.

20) How can I “intimate” this to my most “intimate” friend?

.

.

Let’s face it – English is a crazy language. 

For example, there are no “eggs” in “eggplant”, nor “ham” in “hamburger”.  

There is neither “pine” nor “apple” in “pineapple”.

“English” muffins weren’t invented in “England” nor “French” fries in “France”.

“Sweetmeats” are “sweet” but are candies and not “meats”, whereas “sweetbreads” are neither “sweet” nor “bread”, but in fact meat.

Boxing “rings” are “square” and a “guinea pig” is neither from “Guinea” nor is it a “pig”.

.

And why is it that “writers” “write”, but “fingers” don’t “fing”, “grocers” don’t “groce” and “hammers” don’t “ham”?

.

If the plural of “tooth” is “teeth”, why isn’t the plural of “booth”, “beeth”? Why one “index”, but two or more “indices”?  Or why do you have one “goose” and two “geese”, and one “moose” but never two “meese”?

.

You can make “amends” but what do you do if you have just one thing to amend? Or if you have a bunch of “odds and ends” and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call what’s left?

.

If teachers “taught”, why didn’t preachers “praught”?

And if a “vegetarian” eats vegetables, what does a “humanitarian” eat?

.

In what other language would people “recite at a play” and “play at a recital”; have “noses” that “run” and “feet” that “smell”; or send a “shipment” by “car” and “cargo” by “ship”?

.

How can a “slim chance” and a “fat chance” be the same, while a “wise man” and a “wise guy” are opposites?

.

Or why can people like the Amish “raise” a barn, meaning to “erect” a building, whereas everywhere else when we “raise” a building to the ground we mean we “demolish” it?

.

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn “up” as it burns “down”; in which you “fill in” a form by “filling it out”; and in which an alarm goes “off” by going “on”.

.

Even when you are standing still you can be part of the human “race” and you can look at the stars which are visible when they are “out”, unlike a light which is invisible when it is “out”.

.

Finally, there is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is “UP”.

It’s easy to understand “UP”, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we “wake UP”? At a meeting, why does a topic “come UP”? Why do we “speak UP”?

Or do what I am going to do now, which is to “shut UP”.

.

==============================

.

Check This One Out: 1

 “Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Once again the clue to today’s post was in the title.

And since you checked the one in the title out why not check the rest of them out too.

Here is the latest selection of puns for you to endure or hopefully, enjoy.

.

.

Tell you what floats my boat.

Water.

my boat

.

.

What do houseflies and Mac users have in common?

Neither of them understand how Windows work.

flies

.

.

Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away…

or is it just one of Granny’s myths?

apple_green_clipart

.

.

I for one…

…but that’s Roman numerals for you.

IV

.

.

I knew a guy who fell into an industrial grinding machine.

He’s fine now.

grinder

.

.

I have no beef with vegetarians.

pig-pork-cartoon

.

.

I slipped on some dog s**t the other day.

It didn’t suit me though.

clean dog

.

.

I hate it how people keep texting me “k”.

I am very rarely in the mood to talk about potassium.

texting

.

.

I bought some biscuits yesterday, on the packet it said,

“Store in a cool place.”

So I mailed them to Samuel L. Jackson’s house.

Samuel_L_Jackson

.

.

When I was a kid people used to cover me

in cream and put a cherry on my head,

it was tough being brought up in the gateau.    

cartoon-gateau

.

.

I bought a CD which was just the sound of water flowing.

I didn’t like it though, it was too main-stream.

water

.

.

A bartender drowned in a tidal wave of tonic water after a case exploded,

he was schwepped away.

schweppes

.

.

There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. 

numerator_and_denominator

.

.

Ten words, two commas, an exclamation mark

and a period all appeared in court yesterday…

They’re due to be sentenced next week.

judge_sentence_detroit

.

.

The other day, an attendant stopped me in a hospital car park to tell me,

“You can’t park here. It’s badge holders only.”

I replied, “But I have got a bad shoulder.”

badge-holders-only-car-park

.

.

Do you think “Gone With The Wind”

started out as just a draft?

gone_with_the_wind_cover

.

.

I was pulled over by the police today.

“How fast do you think you were going, sir?”

“60mph?” I asked.

“Try 135,” the officer replied.

So I shut the door and drove as fast as I could.

police-officer

.

.

The French are concerned that 77% of their electricity comes from nuclear power.

I think they should stop over-reacting.

france_nuclear

.

.

I’m scared of trampolines.

They make me jump.

cartoon-trampoline

.

.

At last I’ve found out the reason that women ask so many questions.

Apparently they have an extra why chromosome.

questions

.

===============================

.