Ugh, Communism Just Has No Class.

 “Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Communism may have no class but clever word play certainly does.

That’s our cue for another Pun Day.

Enjoy or endure!

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I’m against picketing,

but I don’t know how to show it.

against picketing

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I saw a man walking along the street

with a t-shirt that said ‘Free Hugs’.

I don’t know who ‘Hugs’ is,

but I’m sure they should release him.

t-shirt 'Free Hugs'

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I went for a job interview at 

my local sandwich shop today.

As an aptitude test, the shop owner

asked me to make a beef sandwich

using only a spoon.

Unfortunately I didn’t get the job

– I couldn’t cut the mustard.

sandwich shop

 

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A committee is a group of people

who keep minutes and lose hours.

A committee

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I was given the sack at work last month.

I suppose you have to expect that

when you play Santa Clause.

play Santa Clause

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I can’t speak for anyone else,

but I think I’m a terrible ventriloquist.

terrible ventriloquist

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My girlfriend talked me into putting

table salt into my bath today.

I think I’ve been brine washed.

table salt into my bath

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I saw a strange white bear at the zoo today.

It was mating with a female bear then it

suddenly it tried mating with a male bear.

I think it’s Bi Polar.

white bear at the zoo

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Never employ someone who’s obsessed with graphs.

They’ll always be plotting behind your back.

graph

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I got a real telling off yesterday

when we were visiting grandma.

She has a very hairy upper lip

and when we were leaving, she asked

me why I wouldn’t kiss her good bye.

Apparently my answer, “Sorry, must-dash,”

wasn’t the best choice of words.

hairy upper lip

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How does an angry Muslim close a door?

Islams it.

door slam

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I’ve just seen a sign in the post office that said

“Stamps sold by the book”.

It’s good to know that someone follows the rules.

book of stamps

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I decided to open an

exclusive hotel and casino

for people who have epilepsy.

It’s called Seizure’s Palace.

Seizure's Palace

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I went to the pet shop to buy some breeding birds.

The cashier said, “Have you got a store card?”

I said, “No but I did get a budgie excited once.”

pet shop

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My friend has just rung to say

he’s bought a bubble car.

He’s going to pop round in it later.

bubble car

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First Fasab Quiz Of 2015.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Hello and welcome to the first fasab quiz of 2015.

Twenty questions that cover history, geography, science, music and nature and maybe more.

Some of them are quite easy though, so don’t be alarmed.

And as always, if you get stuck, you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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Q.  1:  By what more common name are the 3rd Molars known?

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Q.  2:  What do snakes use their tongues for?

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Q.  3:  What is the diameter in meters, of the circle from which a discus is thrown?

            a)  1.5 meters                b)  2.5 meters                c)  3.5 meters

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Q.  4:  What disease is an infection of the intestine caused by drinking dirty water?

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Q.  5:  Which federal state consists of 26 Cantons?

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Q.  6:  What is 9 percent of 9?

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Q.  7:  What is the more common name for the chemical symbol ‘fe2o3’?

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Q.  8:  What are the only 2 mammals to lay eggs rather than give birth to live offspring? (You get a point for each correct answer and a bonus point if you get both correct.)

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Q.  9:  What killer disease very prevalent in past centuries was controlled by Jonas Salk’s vaccine?

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Q. 10:  What type of fuel do jet aircraft use?

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Q. 11:  How many minutes are there in a week?

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Q. 12:  Common Salt is a compound formed from 2 elements, one is sodium what is the other?

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Q. 13:  Which bird has ‘golden’, ‘silver’, ‘Lady Amherst’ and ‘argus’ varieties?

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Q. 14:  What alternative name is given to the River Thames as it passes through Oxford, a name that has been very prominent in the international news recently for a very different reason?

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Q. 15:  What is the second month of the year to have exactly 30 days?

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Q. 16:  What kind of paper is used to test whether a liquid is acid or alkali?

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Q. 17:  What are the two heaviest land animals? (A point for each correct answer.)

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Q. 18:  The ancient city of Machu Picchu is in which country?

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Q. 19:  Walter Frederick Morrison invented the ‘Pluto platter’ in 1948, but what is it more commonly known as today?

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Q. 20:  What is the better known stage name of Robyn Fenty?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  By what more common name are the 3rd Molars known?

A.  1:  Wisdom teeth.

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Q.  2:  What do snakes use their tongues for?

A.  2:  Hearing.

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Q.  3:  What is the diameter in meters, of the circle from which a discus is thrown?

            a)  1.5 meters                b)  2.5 meters                c)  3.5 meters

A.  3:  The correct answer is b) 2.5 meters.

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Q.  4:  What disease is an infection of the intestine caused by drinking dirty water?

A.  4:  Cholera.

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Q.  5:  Which federal state consists of 26 Cantons?

A.  5:  Switzerland.

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Q.  6:  What is 9 percent of 9?

A.  6:  It is 0.81.

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Q.  7:  What is the more common name for the chemical symbol ‘fe2o3’?

A.  7:  Rust.

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Q.  8:  What are the only 2 mammals to lay eggs rather than give birth to live offspring? (You get a point for each correct answer and a bonus point if you get both correct.)

A.  8:  Duckbilled platypus and the spiny anteater (will accept just ‘anteater’).

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Q.  9:  What killer disease very prevalent in past centuries was controlled by Jonas Salk’s vaccine?

A.  9:  Polio.

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Q. 10:  What type of fuel do jet aircraft use?

A. 10:  Kerosene.

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Q. 11:  How many minutes are there in a week?

A. 11:  There are 10,080.

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Q. 12:  Common Salt is a compound formed from 2 elements, one is sodium what is the other?

A. 12:  Chlorine

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Q. 13:  Which bird has ‘golden’, ‘silver’, ‘Lady Amherst’ and ‘argus’ varieties?

A. 13:  Pheasant.

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Q. 14:  What alternative name is given to the River Thames as it passes through Oxford, a name that has been very prominent in the international news recently for a very different reason?

A. 14:  It is called the ‘Isis’, the name also used for the militant Islamic terrorist group in Iraq and Syria.

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Q. 15:  What is the second month of the year to have exactly 30 days?

A. 15:  June.

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Q. 16:  What kind of paper is used to test whether a liquid is acid or alkali?

A. 16:  Litmus.

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Q. 17:  What are the two heaviest land animals? (A point for each correct answer.)

A. 17:  The elephant and the hippopotamus.

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Q. 18:  The ancient city of Machu Picchu is in which country?

A. 18:  Peru.

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Q. 19:  Walter Frederick Morrison invented the ‘Pluto platter’ in 1948, but what is it more commonly known as today?

A. 19:  The ‘Frisbee’.

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Q. 20:  What is the better known stage name of Robyn Fenty?

A. 20:  Rihanna.

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Monday. Quiz Day. Go On, Have A Go!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Time for twenty more questions. A mixture of general knowledge, history, television, movies, etc., so there should be a few in here that will suit you.  

As usual the answers can be found waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please, NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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Quiz 07

Q.  1:  When was the American Declaration of Independence?

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Q.  2:  Who wrote the communist manifesto with Frederich Engels?

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Q.  3:  Where did Audrey Hepburn famously have breakfast in New York City?

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Q.  4:  From which French town were more than 330,000 Allied Troops evacuated in 1940?

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Q.  5:  The 70th birthday of which organization will take place on 22 October 2015 in New York City?

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Q.  6:  In which American town or city was the TV series Frasier set?

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Q.  7:  In which town in Texas did 70 cult members die in a fire after four federal agents were killed during a confrontation?

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Q.  8:  What does the Strait of Messina separate?

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Q.  9:  Who was ‘The Graduate’ in the movie of the same name?

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Q. 10:  What was the last state to join the American Union?

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Q. 11:  Most of us have probably watched and enjoyed ‘The Sopranos’ and ‘The Newsroom’ both aired on HBO, but what does ‘HBO’ stand for?

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Q. 12:  The Greek root ‘syn’, found in words like synonym and syntax, means what?

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Q. 13:  From Here To where is the Oscar-winning movie with Deborah Kerr, Burt Lancaster and Frank Sinatra?

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Q. 14:  What is the more common name for magnesium sulphate?

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Q. 15:  What was the former name of Taiwan?

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Q. 16:  Which young star of the movie ‘East of Eden’ died in a car crash aged only 24?

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Q. 17:  According to the expression coined by Andy Warhol, how many minutes of fame constitute the ephemeral condition ‘celebrity’?

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Q. 18:  Which South American country was ruled by Bernardo O’Higgins?

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Q. 19:  ‘Ruy Lopez’, ‘Monkey’s Bum’, ‘King’s Indian’, ‘Semi Tarrasch’, ‘Sicilian’, ‘Clam Variation’, ‘Scotch Game’ and ‘Giuoco Piano’ are all examples of what?

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Q. 20:  In the movie ‘The Good, the Bad and The Ugly’, who played the three leading roles? (A point for each correct answer and a bonus point if you get all three.)

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  When was the American Declaration of Independence?

A.  1:  1776

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Q.  2:  Who wrote the communist manifesto with Frederich Engels?

A.  2:  Karl Marx

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Q.  3:  Where did Audrey Hepburn famously have breakfast in New York City?

A.  3:  At Tiffany’s.

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Q.  4:  From which French town were more than 330,000 Allied Troops evacuated in 1940?

A.  4:  Dunkirk

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Q.  5:  The 70th birthday of which organization will take place on 22 October 2015 in New York City?

A.  5:  The United Nations

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Q.  6:  In which American town or city was the TV series Frasier set?

A.  6:  Seattle

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Q.  7:  In which town in Texas did 70 cult members die in a fire after four federal agents were killed during a confrontation?

A.  7:  Waco

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Q.  8:  What does the Strait of Messina separate?

A.  8:  Mainland Italy and Sicily

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Q.  9:  Who was ‘The Graduate’ in the film of the same name?

A.  9:  Dustin Hoffman

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Q. 10:  What was the last state to join the American Union?

A. 10:  Alaska

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Q. 11:  Most of us have probably watched and enjoyed ‘The Sopranos’ and ‘The Newsroom’ both aired on HBO, but what does ‘HBO’ stand for?

A. 11:  Home Box Office

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Q. 12:  The Greek root ‘syn’, found in words like synonym and syntax, means what?

A. 12:  It means ‘with’ or ‘together’.

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Q. 13:  From Here To where is the Oscar-winning movie with Deborah Kerr, Burt Lancaster and Frank Sinatra?

A. 13:  Eternity

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Q. 14:  What is the more common name for magnesium sulphate?

A. 14:  Epsom salts.

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Q. 15:  What was the former name of Taiwan?

A. 15:  Formosa

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Q. 16:  Which young star of the movie ‘East of Eden’ died in a car crash aged only 24?

A. 16:  James Dean

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Q. 17:  According to the expression coined by Andy Warhol, how many minutes of fame constitute the ephemeral condition ‘celebrity’?

A. 17:  15 minutes of fame.

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Q. 18:  Which South American country was ruled by Bernardo O’Higgins?

A. 18:  Chile

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Q. 19:  ‘Ruy Lopez’, ‘Monkey’s Bum’, ‘King’s Indian’, ‘Semi Tarrasch’, ‘Sicilian’, ‘Clam Variation’, ‘Scotch Game’ and ‘Giuoco Piano’ are all examples of what?

A. 19:  Chess openings.

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Q. 20:  In the movie ‘The Good, the Bad and The Ugly’, who played the three leading roles? (A point for each correct answer and a bonus point if you get all three.)

A. 20:  Clint Eastwood, Eli Wallach and Lee Van Cleef

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Another Twenty Challenging Questions – Yes It’s Quiz Day!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Another start to the week and another twenty challenging questions in our latest quiz.

Easy, difficult and few “curve balls” in this lot, so see how well you do.

As usual the answers are given waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below.

But NO cheating please!

Enjoy.

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Quiz3

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Q   1:  In Italy who or what is known as “Topolino”?

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Q   2:  How many men in total have landed on and explored the Moon?

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Q   3:  How many women in total have landed on and explored the Moon?

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Q   4:  In their natural habitats, what percentage of penguins live south of the equator?

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Q   5:  In what book of The Bible is God not mentioned?

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Q   6:  What do they call a “French kiss” in France?

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Q   7:  What is the longest English word without a vowel?

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Q   8:  What is the driest state in the U.S.?

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Q   9:  A group of toads is called a what?

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Q  10:  The first toilet ever seen on television was on what show?

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Q  11:  How many of the 44 US Presidents has worn glasses?

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Q  12:  Can you think of a word that is pronounced differently by merely capitalizing the first letter?

There are several, a point for each.

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Q  13:  What word describes a woman who does not have all her fingers on one hand?

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Q  14:  At various times throughout history known as the “President’s Palace,” the “President’s House,” and the “Executive Mansion”, what US President officially gave the White House its current name in 1901?

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Q  15:  What is the only capital letter in the Roman alphabet (the one we use) with exactly one end point?

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Q  16:  What US state’s motto is “Wisdom, Justice and Moderation.”

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Q  17:  What TV comedy series character’s catchphrase was “I’m listening”?

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Q  18:  In what country do people generally answer the phone by saying, “I’m listening”.

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Q  19:  What is light as a feather, but even the strongest man cannot hold it more than a few minutes?

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Q  20:  How can you make seven even?

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ANSWERS

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Q   1:  In Italy who or what is known as “Topolino”?

A   1:  Mickey Mouse is known as “Topolino” in Italy

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Q   2:  How many men in total have landed on and explored the Moon?

A   2:  Twelve men have landed on and explored the moon

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Q   3:  How many women in total have landed on and explored the Moon?

A   3:  Zero, no women have landed on and explored the moon

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Q   4:  In their natural habitats, what percentage of penguins live south of the equator?

A   4:  100%. All penguins live south of the equator

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Q   5:  In what book of The Bible is God not mentioned?

A   5:  The book of Esther.

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Q   6:  What do they call a “French kiss” in France?

A   6:  An “English Kiss”.

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Q   7:  What is the longest English word without a vowel?

A   7:  “Rhythm”

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Q   8:  What is the driest state in the U.S.?

A   8:  Nevada. Each year it averages 7.5 inches (19 cm) of rain.

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Q   9:  A group of toads is called a what?

A   9:  A knot.

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Q  10:  The first toilet ever seen on television was on what show?

A  10:  “Leave It to Beaver.”

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Q  11:  How many of the 44 US Presidents has worn glasses?

A  11:  Every US president has worn glasses (just not always in public).

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Q  12:  Can you think of a word that is pronounced differently by merely capitalizing the first letter?

There are several, a point for each.

A  12:  Here are some examples, there could be others

1. job  and  Job

2. herb  and  Herb

3. polish  and  Polish

and there could be more, so well done if you thought of others.

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Q  13:  What word describes a woman who does not have all her fingers on one hand?

A  13:  “Normal”. Normal people do not have ‘all’ their fingers on ‘one’ hand.

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Q  14:  At various times throughout history known as the “President’s Palace,” the “President’s House,” and the “Executive Mansion”, what US President officially gave the White House its current name in 1901?

A  14:  Theodore Roosevelt

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Q  15:  What is the only capital letter in the Roman alphabet (the one we use) with exactly one end point?

A  15:  The only capital letter in the Roman alphabet with exactly one end point is P.

Check out the others if you want, A(2), B (0), C (2), D (0), E (3), F (3), G (2), H (4), I (2), J (2), K (4), L (2), M (2), N (2), O (0), Q (2), R (2), S (2), T (3), U (2), V (2), W (2), X (4), Y (3), Z (2).  

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Q  16:  What US state’s motto is “Wisdom, Justice and Moderation.”

A  16:  The state motto of Georgia is “Wisdom, Justice and Moderation.”

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Q  17:  What TV comedy series character’s catchphrase was “I’m listening”?

A  17:  Frasier Crane played by the ever excellent Kelsey Grammar.

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Q  18:  In what country do people generally answer the phone by saying, “I’m listening”.

A  18:  Russians generally answer the phone by saying, “I’m listening”.

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Q  19:  What is light as a feather, but even the strongest man cannot hold it more than a few minutes?

A  19:  His breath.

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Q  20:  How can you make seven even?

A  20:  Just take away the “s”, duhhhh!

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Not so easy. Hope you did okay!

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