America Just Can’t Make It Anymore.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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USA industrial economy

The statement in the title is not true, except that it is.

If you are a little confused stay with me and let me clarify.

The United States used to be the industrial power house of the world. Its industries generated unprecedented wealth for the country, creating the world’s first self-made billionaires and productive wealth creating jobs galore for everyone. The whole country prospered.

Today, however, the United States has become the world’s second biggest importer of goods. Worse than that, even though America still exports billions of dollars’ worth in oil, consumer goods and automotive products, it imports even more. This creates a trade deficit ($471 billion according to recent figures).

US Trade Deficit

So what are all these imports into the US?

Well, they include industrial machinery and equipment ($681 billion), automotive vehicles, parts, and engines ($309 billion), miscellaneous private services, primarily financial services ($201 billion), cell phones ($90 billion), travel passenger services ($86 billion), pharmaceuticals ($84 billion), computers ($65 billion), chemicals ($61 billion), other transportation services ($59 billion), computer accessories ($57 billion), telecommunications equipment ($54 billion), royalties and license fees services ($42 billion), apparel ($49 billion), petroleum products ($48 billion), fuel oil ($44 billion), industrial supplies ($29 billion), U.S. Government service imports primarily defense ($25 billion), fish ($18 billion), fruit ($13 billion), and vegetables ($11 billion).

Cartoon imports

If you are a bit shell-shocked by all those figures let me phrase it a bit differently using as examples the types of goods you would tend to buy.

  • 100% (almost) of the shoes bought in the U.S. come from China, Vietnam, Indonesia and Mexico;
  • 90% of white goods (washers, fridges, etc.) and consumer electronics are imported;
  • 85% of household furniture is imported;
  • 80% of cars on U.S. roads come from Canada (31%), Japan (24%), Germany (16%) and Mexico (12%); and,
  • 65% of U.S. clothing is imported from China (37%), Vietnam (9.4%), Indonesia (7.2%) and Bangladesh (6.7%).

Probably the saddest part is that even things you thought were “American” are now actually made overseas and imported.

I remember while on a business trip to the US many, many years ago I bought a gift for the young son of a friend of mine. He was a big sports enthusiast so I reckoned that one of the most iconic symbols of sport from America would be a baseball. I bought one in Wal-Mart. It was marked with all the different holding positions for the various ways to throw a baseball (fast ball, curve ball and all that). The perfect gift.

I gave it to him on my return feeling ever so pleased with myself. The kid opened it, showed momentary delight, then looked up at me accusingly. “It says ‘Made in China'” he told me.

Baseball made in China

But it’s not only baseballs. Similar types of product that you would think are all-American, like Converse All Stars, Levi’s, Huffy bicycles, televisions, Monopoly, Etch-a-Sketch, Radio Flyer wagons, Barbie dolls, and last but by no means least, most of those American flags just ain’t American no more.

modern monopoly board

It really doesn’t have to be this way. Apple, for example, doesn’t have to become the richest company in the world by manufacturing its products in China and storing its vast hoards of cash overseas.

Or does it?

Everything on the lists above could still be made in the US and surpluses exported to other countries. But the US government and its moronic bureaucrats are spending their time and our money thinking up new ways, not to help American businesses, but to add ever-increasing amounts of rules, regulations and bureaucracy on to American companies.

American businesses can no longer compete, because their own government has ensured that the deck is stacked against them.

In the mind of a bureaucrat losing a million productive wealth creating jobs, for example, in the automotive industry, and replacing them with a million more administrative jobs that cost the country money evens things out.

It doesn’t. Simple math will tell you that. Every time it happens things get worse and America gets poorer.

So America just can’t make it anymore, but not because China has stolen the jobs. It’s because the US government bureaucrats gave them away.

Put the blame where it should be.

StimulusBureaucrats

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A Few Of Today’s Facts Really Stink.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Sorry, but today a few of the facts really do stink.

But you might find them interesting nonetheless.

I hope so anyway.

So here they are.

Enjoy.

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did you know3

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There are 13 ways to spell

the “o” sound in French.

Oh?

 parlez-vous

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In the TV series Star Trek,

The Enterprise’s often seen access tunnels

that they called ‘Jeffries Tubes’

were named after original series

prop master Walter M Jeffries.

 JefferiesTube Star Trek

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Vitamin A is important for vision,

the immune system function,

reproduction and support for the

heart, lungs and kidneys.

According to National Institutes of Health (NIH),

around 28%–37% of the general population

take supplements with vitamin A,

however,

just one sweet potato baked in the skin

has 28,058 international units (IU) of

vitamin A per serving,

which is 561% of the daily recommended value.

 sweet potato baked in skin

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In 2002, a man was hit by a truck in Finland

as he was trying to cross highway 8 on his bike.

2 hours later his twin brother was also hit by a truck

while trying to cross highway 8 on his bike.

They died within 1.5 km of each other, 2 hours apart.

 cartoon twins

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The US Air Force once experimented with a

Boeing 747 mounted with an anti-missile defense system

that they hoped could track and shoot down

enemy missiles from hundreds of miles away.

Technically called the YAL-1 Airborne Laser

the project was eventually cancelled.

 Airborne-Laser-Weapon_photo_medium

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The Aztecs are the Aztecs at all.

The name Aztec was actually made up by Europeans,

the name they called themselves was the ‘Mexica’.

 Aztecs

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It is estimated that the inhabitants

of medieval London, both human and animal,

produced fifty tons of excrement a day.

As a matter of fact, during the fourteenth century,

Sherborne Lane in East London was so disgusting

that it was officially known as Shiteburn Lane.

 sherborne lane Nigel Clark Publications

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The reason around 99% of the population

tend to need glasses, especially for reading,

as they get older is not because

their arms get shorter, but because

the lens in the eyes slowly loses

its focusing ability with age.

 A classic example of being in reading glasses denial.

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Translated as the “Swimming Car”

the Volkswagen Schwimmwagen is an

amphibious four-wheel drive off-roader,

used extensively by the German Wehrmacht

and the Waffen-SS during WWII.

The Type 166 is the most numerous and

mass-produced amphibious car in history.

 Volkswagen Schwimmwagen

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Think you have a bad job?

It could be worse.

You could be a Breath Odor Evaluator.

These are people hired by mint and

toothpaste companies to keep smelling

bad breath until the minty freshness appears.

 Breath Odor Evaluator

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But these people have it made

compared to Dog Breath Sniffers,

who do the same job, only for dogs.

Phew!!!

 dog's breath

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Stanley Kubrick hated traveling and

was a little afraid of airplanes.

For that reason,

even though set mostly in Vietnam,

Full Metal Jacket was fully shot in London.

The abandoned Beckton Gas Works that were used

to shoot the major battle scenes are still there today.

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Forty-Four Mouth-Watering Facts About Curry.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I’ve done ‘peanut butter‘ and ‘chocolate‘ and ‘coffee‘ in other posts. Today it is another fasab food favorite, the curry.

A curry, properly made, has to be one of the most delicious foods in the world.

I have spent many happy evenings with friends enjoying this delicacy in one form or another. Personally I like it with some naan bread or sometimes with rice. Either way is socially acceptable and extremely tasty.

Mouth watering already?

Very good, let’s get straight to the facts.

Enjoy.

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dishes of curry

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The word curry comes from a Tamil word ‘kari’ or ‘karil’, meaning spices or sautéd vegetables.

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The meaning changed when Portuguese traders used it for the sauces with which rice was served.

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Essentially, the term curry was invented by the English administrators of the East Indian Trading Co. and later continued by British government employees.

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The British army in India further changed the meaning as its liking for hot sauces introduced the modern idea of curries being hot.

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Surprisingly, the term ‘curry’ isn’t used very much in India. There are many types of curry-style dishes, which have their own characteristic regional variations.

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Curry Powder is a mix of spices, rather than a spice in its own right. It usually consists of turmeric, coriander, cardamom, cumin, sweet basil, and red pepper.

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Some of the most common types of curry are ‘Korma’, ‘Massala’, ‘Dhansak’, ‘Phall’, ‘Rogan Josh’, ‘Dopiaza’, ‘Madras’ and ‘Vindaloo’.

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Curry is said to have a number of valuable health benefits, including the prevention of cancer, protection against heart disease, reducing Alzheimer’s disease symptoms, easing pain and inflammation, boosting bone health, protecting the immune system from bacterial infections, and increasing the liver’s ability to remove toxins from the body.

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In addition to being an established and firm favorite in Britain. and increasing popular throughout Europe and the United States, curry forms a major element of the diets of several Asian countries including India, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Maldives, Burma, Indonesia, Malaysia, Philippines, Thailand, Vietnam, China, Japan and Fiji.

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Chili (or Chilli) is the most popular spice in the world and can help combat heart attacks and strokes and extends blood coagulation times preventing harmful blood clots.

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Contrary to common western belief, curries are not always ‘hot’, they can be mild, medium and hot.

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curry with rice

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The earliest known curry was made in Mesopotamia in around 1700 BC, the recipe for meat in a spicy sauce appearing on tablets found near Babylon.

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The Scoville scale is the measurement of the pungency (spicy heat) of chili peppers or other spicy foods.

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The ‘Bhut Jolokia Chilli Pepper’ (also known as the ‘Naga Jolokia’), is the hottest pepper in the world, accompanied with its own health warning! This pepper is also known as the ‘Ghost Chilli’ or ‘Ghost Pepper’, and is grown in the Indian states of Assam, Nagaland and Manipur.

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The first commercial curry powder appeared in about 1780.

In Britain Indian food now surpasses Chinese food in popularity, with Indian restaurants outnumbering Chinese restaurants by two to one.

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The word ‘balti’ means bucket. Balti is more a style of cooking than one particular curry.

In specialist ‘Balti Houses’ the balti is a meal in itself which contains both meat and vegetables and is eaten straight from the karahi using curled up pieces of naan bread. In standard Indian restaurants the balti is more of a stir-fried curry containing plenty of fried green peppers and fresh cilantro (also known as coriander).

South Indian food is more spicy than North Indian food.

The first curry recipe in English appeared in Hannah Glasse’s ‘The Art Of Cookery’ in 1747.

The world’s biggest ever curry was a 13 tonne Biryani, including 187lb of chilies and 6600lb of rice. It took 60 chefs to make in New Delhi in June 2008. And required three cranes to move the container and a 3ft high furnace to cook it!

In Western Europe and the U K, curry powders available contain more turmeric than anything else, and tend to be toned down to palates used to bland food.

curry with naan bread

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The tallest poppadom stack in the world stands at a massive 282 poppadoms. The record was set by a chef from the Jali Indian Restaurant in Blackpool.

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In 2008, Bath and North East Somerset Council advised a man to sprinkle curry powder on his wife’s grave to keep squirrels and deer away.

Tim Stobbs, aged 42 years, currently holds the world record for munching an impressive 15 poppadoms in 5 minutes! The annual World Championships, in aid of Cancer Research UK Scotland, is held every year at St Andrews University.

There are about 10,000 Indian restaurants serving curry in the UK, the vast majority of which are run by people from Bangladesh, not India.

To make a ‘hot’ curry mild, just add some coconut milk.

The word ‘masala’ means spice mix.

In 1846, William Makepeace Thackeray wrote ‘A Poem To Curry’, as part of his Kitchen Melodies.

Britain’s first curry house, called the Hindustani Coffee House and located in London’s Portman Square, opened in 1809. Now there are more curry houses in London, England than in Mumbai, India.

Chili can help combat heart attacks and strokes.

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One of the hottest curry dishes ever made is known as the Bit Spicy 3 Chili Phall which is even hotter than the infamous ‘Chicken Naga’, made with a high volume of Naga pepper seeds. More than 100 times hotter than jalapeño peppers!

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People crave a curry because the spices arouse and stimulate the taste buds.

curry powder

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Vindaloo was originally a Portuguese dish which took its name from the two main ingredients which were ‘vinho’, wine/wine vinegar, and ‘alhos’, garlic. Over time it was spiced up, hotted up and otherwise changed by the indigenous peoples of the ex-Portuguese colony of Goa.

The ‘Big Jim’, a large chili hailing from New Mexico, currently holds the world record for the largest chili ever grown. This plant frequently produces chilies that are over a foot in length, which is hugely impressive considering that the plant itself never grows more than two feet!

The town of North Curry is in Somerset while West Curry is in Cornwall.

Madras and pathia are both hot and sour dishes. Kashmiri a more subtle and creamy dish usually made with lychees or bananas – or both.

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Scientists at Nottingham Trent University have discovered that people begin to crave for a curry because the spices arouse and stimulate the taste buds.

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One in seven curries sold in the UK is a chicken tikka masala, making it the most popular Indian restaurant dish in the UK. It is thought to have originated in Britain after an enterprising Indian chef had the idea of adding a tomato and onion paste to the grilled chicken to satisfy the British preference for food that isn’t dry.

The largest naan bread ever made was a whopping 2.75m in diameter and contained meat dumplings – the equivalent of 167 normal sized naan breads. The bread took over ten hours to finish and required twelve chefs, 30kg mutton, 125kg flour, 16kg onion and 90kg of water to cook it.

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Southeastern Asian cultures have always mixed a number of spices to flavor their dishes, usually according to recipes handed down from generation to generation.

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A common way to categorize Thai curry is by the color of the curry paste used to make the curry dish. Green and red curry paste are the most typical. Yellow and sour curries (also sometimes known as orange curry, gaeng sohm) are also well known. Each has its own particular combination of herbs and spices to make up the curry paste that makes it unique.

‘Panang’ and ‘masaman’ curry are probably the most popular Thai curries in the West, because of their rich tastes.

Finally, if you are eating a curry which is just too hot for you, don’t drink water, that only makes it hotter!

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This Quiz Is A Gas – Well The First Question Is.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Hi it’s quiz day again.

The usual mixture of subjects including geography, history, science and nature, so something for everyone perhaps.

And remember, as always, if you get stuck, you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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quiz host

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Q.  1:  Which gas is the main element in the air that we breathe?

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Q.  2:  What is the link between the females of the following: Antelope, Deer, Hamster, Mouse, and Squirrel?

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Q.  3:  Every year around this time the President of the US pardons a turkey and it goes to a public farm called Frying Pan Park, Herndon, VA., to live out its days, but which President is believed to have been the first to start this annual tradition?

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Q.  4:  What do the terms ‘NASA’ and ‘ESA’ stand for? (A point for each correct answer.)

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Q.  5:  What type of creature is a ‘gadwall’?

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Q.  6:  Who was the first American President of the United States?

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Q.  7:  Which physical property allows a needle to float on water?

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Q.  8:  Name the Capitals of the following countries. (A point for each correct answer.)

            a)  Australia         b)  Iceland         c)  Syria         d)  Uruguay         e)  Vietnam

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Q.  9:  And a related question, which country has three Capital cities? (A point for the correct answer and a bonus point for each one you name correctly.)

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Q. 10:  In what year did the first Macy’s Thanksgiving/Christmas parade take place?

            a)  1924            b)  1927            c)  1931            d)  1935

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Q. 11:  What is represented by the chemical symbol ‘Sn’?

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Q. 12:  In Roman Mythology, who was the messenger of the Gods?

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Q. 13:  When is the next leap year that will begin on a Friday?

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Q. 14:  What does a ‘dendrologist’ study?

            a)  Hair            b) Trees            c)  Teeth            d)  Plants

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Q. 15:  What two famous Shakespearean characters appear in the phonetic alphabet? (A point for each one you name correctly.)

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Q. 16:  Which is the largest planet in the solar system?

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Q. 17:  Which English scientist discovered Sodium, Potassium, Barium, Calcium, Magnesium, and designed a famous lamp?

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Q. 18:  Where would you find an ‘ISBN’ number?

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Q. 19:  Which city was sacked by the Visigoths in 410 and the Vandals in 455?

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Q. 20:  Who was going like ‘a bat out of hell’ in the late 1970s?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  Which gas is the main element in the air that we breathe?

A.  1:  Nitrogen. (By volume, dry air contains 78.09% nitrogen, 20.95% oxygen, 0.93% argon, 0.039% carbon dioxide, and small amounts of other gases.)

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Q.  2:  What is the link between the females of the following: Antelope, Deer, Hamster, Mouse, and Squirrel?

A.  2:  They are all called ‘Doe’.

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Q.  3:  Every year around this time the President of the US pardons a turkey and it goes to a public farm called Frying Pan Park, Herndon, VA., to live out its days, but which President is believed to have been the first to start this annual tradition?

A.  3:  President Harry Truman in 1947.

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Q.  4:  What do the terms ‘NASA’ and ‘ESA’ stand for? (A point for each correct answer.)

A.  4:  NASA is the North American Space Agency and ESA is the European Space Agency.

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Q.  5:  What type of creature is a ‘gadwall’?

A.  5:  A duck.

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Q.  6:  Who was the first American President of the United States?

A.  6:  The first President of the United States, born in the United States after July 4th, 1776, and therefore American, was Martin Van Buren (born in 1782).

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Q.  7:  Which physical property allows a needle to float on water?

A.  7:  Surface tension.

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Q.  8:  Name the Capitals of the following countries. (A point for each correct answer.)

            a)  Australia         b)  Iceland         c)  Syria                d)  Uruguay         e)  Vietnam

A.  8:  The correct answers are

            a) Canberra         b) Reykjavík       c) Damascus        d) Montevideo        e) Hanoi

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Q.  9:  And a related question, which country has three Capital cities? (A point for the correct answer and a bonus point for each one you name correctly.)

A.  9:  South Africa – Pretoria (executive),  Bloemfontein (judicial) and Cape Town (legislative).

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Q. 10:  In what year did the first Macy’s Thanksgiving/Christmas parade take place?

            a)  1924            b)  1927            c)  1931            d)  1935

A. 10:  The correct answer is a) 1924.

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Q. 11:  What is represented by the chemical symbol ‘Sn’?

A. 11:  ‘Sn’ is the chemical symbol for Tin.

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Q. 12:  In Roman Mythology, who was the messenger of the Gods?

A. 12:  Mercury.

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Q. 13:  When is the next leap year that will begin on a Friday?

A. 13:  2016. (It’s easier than you think, any leap year starting on Friday, January 1, should be divisible by 28, such as 1932, 1960, 1988, or 2044.

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Q. 14:  What does a ‘dendrologist’ study?

            a)  Hair            b) Trees            c)  Teeth            d)  Plants

A. 14:  The correct answer is b)  trees.

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Q. 15:  What two famous Shakespearean characters appear in the phonetic alphabet? (A point for each one you name correctly.)

A. 15:  Romeo and Juliet.

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Q. 16:  Which is the largest planet in the solar system?

A. 16:  Jupiter.

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Q. 17:  Which English scientist discovered Sodium, Potassium, Barium, Calcium, Magnesium, and designed a famous lamp?

A. 17:  Sir Humphrey Davy.

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Q. 18:  Where would you find an ‘ISBN’ number?

A. 18:  On a book.

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Q. 19:  Which city was sacked by the Visigoths in 410 and the Vandals in 455?

A. 19:  Rome.

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Q. 20:  Who was going like ‘a bat out of hell’ in the late 1970s?

A. 20:  Meat Loaf.

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Shock Headline – The President Agrees With Me!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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The Sunday Sermon

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I’ve been saying it for a long time – and now the President of the United States agrees with me – he doesn’t know WTF he’s doing!

Obama on Syria - we don't have a strategy yet

I can’t say as I take much satisfaction from his admission though.

The US President is the most powerful man in the world and he has at his disposal the most powerful military organization in the world.

Yet he doesn’t know what to do with it, when to do it, or even who to aim it at!

A bit of it, belatedly and half-heartedly, is now pointing at ISIS targets in Iraq and Syria. Yes, you’re right, they are the very same Islamic terrorists he was funding for a while in Syria! He says he wasn’t, but in practice he was.

Confused?

You should be.

Because the Obama Administration certainly is!

Indeed Obama’s team of idiots have confused themselves to the degree that they don’t know what to do and are afraid to do it even if they did!

The situation is not being helped by the noise coming from the equally ill-informed politicians in the Republican camp either. Some cynics would say they are doing a lot of it with the November elections in mind!

Political Elephant and Donkey Cartoon

As I’ve said before on this blog, America has never been good at foreign policy. There are so many examples over the years to prove this beyond any and all doubt (Iraq, Afghanistan, Vietnam, now Syria). But this latest debacle could turn out to be foreign policy failure on a grand scale.

This is simply down to the fact that, even yet, the Obama administration clearly does not understand the severity of the problem. They haven’t managed to process the long term threat that a well armed, well supported and well funded group like ISIS can become.

Everyone – except the President and his people apparently – knows that these terrorists will not be content even if they are allowed to establish a fundamentalist Islamic state in the Middle East. Their hatred of anything and everything in the West is total.

In fact, as we have seen in Iraq and Syria, their hatred even extends to fellow Muslims who they do not consider to be ‘militant enough’ and they have attacked and murdered them in just the same ways as they have attacked and murdered Christians.

In Syria, which is none of our business, the Obama team thought they wanted the Assad regime removed, and to get that done they thought they could support ISIS (or the anti-Assad fighters of whom ISIS were always destined to be a big part).

Now the US may well find itself on the same side as Assad in a fight against the terrorists. And that may be the crux of the US Administration’s problem. They made the wrong move, at the wrong time, in the wrong place, for all the wrong reasons and correcting the mistake will require a major volte face and sizeable portion of humble pie.

Are they big enough to swallow it?

We’ll see.   

humble-pie

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I’m Starting A One-Man Band – Email Me If You’re Interested.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to the last Pun Day….

Of this July that is, I hope you didn’t get your hopes up too high.

Anyway here are the latest offerings.

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

 

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This nice weather doesn’t fool me one bit.

It’s just a front.

warm front

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What do you call a couple

who go fishing together?

Rod and Annette.

Rod and Annette

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I hate jokes about Vietnam.

They really Hanoi me.

Hanoi map

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My new book about Poltergeists

is flying off the shelves.

Poltergeists

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I was touched by my Granddad

when I was a little boy.

His tear jerking tales of world war two

were simply heartbreaking.

Granddad

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I was telling the police officer

how local youths had thrown

a milk bottle at me and just missed.

He asked, “Skimmed past your face?”

I replied, “No, full fat over my shoulder.” 

milk

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‘My post box’

has got nine letters in it.

australia post box

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I told my fiancee and friends that I wanted

to racially segregate our wedding.

They didn’t really warm to it.

I was met with a mixed reception.

wedding reception

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Age isn’t

“just a number”

– it’s quite clearly a word

age

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People who confuse

the metaphorical and the factual

make my head literally explode.

head literally explode

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My girlfriend was disappointed when

I bought her New York flights for her birthday.

But not as disappointed as I was when

I found out she didn’t even play darts.

darts New York flights

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I’ve just stolen loads of swimming inflatables.

I’d better lilo.   

lilo

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I went to see my new doctor this morning about my piles.

He told me to drop my trousers and pants and bend over.

As I pulled my cheeks apart, he said,

“I’m going to need your whole name.”

I said, “I just call it my asshole.”

man with trousera down

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Gordon Ramsay reminds me of a newspaper.

Only with more headlines.

Gordon Ramsay headlines

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Time traveller’s convention next June.

I’m there.

Time traveller's convention

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Herbs For Sale: Please No Thyme Wasters!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Are you are looking for some really funny jokes?

Well, never mind.

Try these instead.

It’s Pun Day!

Enjoy or endure!!

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rofl

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I just saw a bird playing chess in the park.

Toucan play at that game.

toucan

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If a vacuum is a volume of space

that contains no matter or particles,

why did someone bother to invent a cleaner for it?

vacuum cleaner

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My son got straight A’s in his italics exam.

Which actually cost him quite a few marks.

straight A's

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24 years ago today the doctor delivered me.

I can’t believe I’ve survived so long without a liver.

liver

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I just bought my 6 month old son one of those baby bouncers.

£10 an hour but he keeps the kid safe

bouncer

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My wife used to be a regular customer at McDonalds.

These days, she’s more of a large.

McDonalds

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Hearing aid for sale.

Give me a shout if you’re interested.

Man uses an ear trumpet

.

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A man came up to me and said,

“Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.”

I said, “That is very annoying.”

He said, “Well I can only apologize.”

sorry

.

.

I’m lucky, I can always count on my wife.

She wears a lot of beads.

a lot of beads

.

.

“What’s done cannot be undone.”

They obviously didn’t have shoelaces in Shakespeare’s day.

What's done cannot be undone

.

.

So these two morons were making fun

of an old guy on the bus yesterday.

My friend said,

“You have to respect him, he’s a Vietnam vet.”

They just said

“What’s it to us if he helps animals in Vietnam.”

Vietnam vet

.

.

Why did I say I’d win that giant butterfly contest?

Me and my big moth.

big_AZZ_moth

.

.

I just saw two bits of sellotape stuck to a lamppost.

Must have been a missing poster.

funny-missing-picture

.

.

My girlfriend was devastated to find out

that my friends call me

‘The Love Machine’

because I’m terrible at tennis.

terrible at tennis

.

.

Finally for today, this ring cymbalizes so much to me.

.

http://instantrimshot.com/index.php?sound=rimshot&play=true

.

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