To Cut A Long Story Short Use Fewer Words.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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But make sure a few of those words are puns.

Which is my way of welcoming you to another pun day.

Enjoy or endure!!

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rofl

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A little birdie told me my

golf skills were improving.

 birdie

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Someone asked me how many haircuts I’d had in my life.

I said, “off the top of my head, about 250.”

 haircuts

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I used to file my nails, but I thought:

‘what’s the point in keeping them?’

 file cabinet

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Maths problems, the only place where

someone can buy 60 watermelons

and no one wonders why.

 watermelons

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I’m not going to make jokes from mixed metaphors

– too many other people have milked that bandwagon already.

 mixed metaphors

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I was recently asked if as a young boy,

was my mother very strict with me.

I said, ‘let me get one thing straight,

my mother was never a young boy.’

 mother clipart

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Whilst holidaying in Madrid with the lads,

my friend Dave suffered a heart attack in a bar,

however we were all surprised when he was

skillfully revived by a retired Doctor

who appeared out of nowhere…

… No one expects the Spanish Ex-Physician.

 Spanish Inquisition Monty Python

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Met this girl in a club last night.

I said, “Do you like cocktails?”

She said, “I don’t know, tell me one.”

 cocktails

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I said to my friend, “It’s important that no-one

mentions any film production companies.”

“How important is it?” he asked.

“Paramount,” I replied.

 Paramount_Pictures_print_logo_(1968)

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I met the bloke who invented crosswords today.

I can’t remember his name.

It’s P something T something R.

 crossword compiler

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My agent said I should use a pen name,

so from now on I am calling myself

‘Bic Parker’.

 pen name

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Thanks to Gwen Stefani,

I can now spell Bananas.

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Forty-Four Mouth-Watering Facts About Curry.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I’ve done ‘peanut butter‘ and ‘chocolate‘ and ‘coffee‘ in other posts. Today it is another fasab food favorite, the curry.

A curry, properly made, has to be one of the most delicious foods in the world.

I have spent many happy evenings with friends enjoying this delicacy in one form or another. Personally I like it with some naan bread or sometimes with rice. Either way is socially acceptable and extremely tasty.

Mouth watering already?

Very good, let’s get straight to the facts.

Enjoy.

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dishes of curry

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The word curry comes from a Tamil word ‘kari’ or ‘karil’, meaning spices or sautéd vegetables.

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The meaning changed when Portuguese traders used it for the sauces with which rice was served.

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Essentially, the term curry was invented by the English administrators of the East Indian Trading Co. and later continued by British government employees.

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The British army in India further changed the meaning as its liking for hot sauces introduced the modern idea of curries being hot.

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Surprisingly, the term ‘curry’ isn’t used very much in India. There are many types of curry-style dishes, which have their own characteristic regional variations.

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Curry Powder is a mix of spices, rather than a spice in its own right. It usually consists of turmeric, coriander, cardamom, cumin, sweet basil, and red pepper.

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Some of the most common types of curry are ‘Korma’, ‘Massala’, ‘Dhansak’, ‘Phall’, ‘Rogan Josh’, ‘Dopiaza’, ‘Madras’ and ‘Vindaloo’.

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Curry is said to have a number of valuable health benefits, including the prevention of cancer, protection against heart disease, reducing Alzheimer’s disease symptoms, easing pain and inflammation, boosting bone health, protecting the immune system from bacterial infections, and increasing the liver’s ability to remove toxins from the body.

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In addition to being an established and firm favorite in Britain. and increasing popular throughout Europe and the United States, curry forms a major element of the diets of several Asian countries including India, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Maldives, Burma, Indonesia, Malaysia, Philippines, Thailand, Vietnam, China, Japan and Fiji.

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Chili (or Chilli) is the most popular spice in the world and can help combat heart attacks and strokes and extends blood coagulation times preventing harmful blood clots.

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Contrary to common western belief, curries are not always ‘hot’, they can be mild, medium and hot.

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curry with rice

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The earliest known curry was made in Mesopotamia in around 1700 BC, the recipe for meat in a spicy sauce appearing on tablets found near Babylon.

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The Scoville scale is the measurement of the pungency (spicy heat) of chili peppers or other spicy foods.

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The ‘Bhut Jolokia Chilli Pepper’ (also known as the ‘Naga Jolokia’), is the hottest pepper in the world, accompanied with its own health warning! This pepper is also known as the ‘Ghost Chilli’ or ‘Ghost Pepper’, and is grown in the Indian states of Assam, Nagaland and Manipur.

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The first commercial curry powder appeared in about 1780.

In Britain Indian food now surpasses Chinese food in popularity, with Indian restaurants outnumbering Chinese restaurants by two to one.

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The word ‘balti’ means bucket. Balti is more a style of cooking than one particular curry.

In specialist ‘Balti Houses’ the balti is a meal in itself which contains both meat and vegetables and is eaten straight from the karahi using curled up pieces of naan bread. In standard Indian restaurants the balti is more of a stir-fried curry containing plenty of fried green peppers and fresh cilantro (also known as coriander).

South Indian food is more spicy than North Indian food.

The first curry recipe in English appeared in Hannah Glasse’s ‘The Art Of Cookery’ in 1747.

The world’s biggest ever curry was a 13 tonne Biryani, including 187lb of chilies and 6600lb of rice. It took 60 chefs to make in New Delhi in June 2008. And required three cranes to move the container and a 3ft high furnace to cook it!

In Western Europe and the U K, curry powders available contain more turmeric than anything else, and tend to be toned down to palates used to bland food.

curry with naan bread

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The tallest poppadom stack in the world stands at a massive 282 poppadoms. The record was set by a chef from the Jali Indian Restaurant in Blackpool.

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In 2008, Bath and North East Somerset Council advised a man to sprinkle curry powder on his wife’s grave to keep squirrels and deer away.

Tim Stobbs, aged 42 years, currently holds the world record for munching an impressive 15 poppadoms in 5 minutes! The annual World Championships, in aid of Cancer Research UK Scotland, is held every year at St Andrews University.

There are about 10,000 Indian restaurants serving curry in the UK, the vast majority of which are run by people from Bangladesh, not India.

To make a ‘hot’ curry mild, just add some coconut milk.

The word ‘masala’ means spice mix.

In 1846, William Makepeace Thackeray wrote ‘A Poem To Curry’, as part of his Kitchen Melodies.

Britain’s first curry house, called the Hindustani Coffee House and located in London’s Portman Square, opened in 1809. Now there are more curry houses in London, England than in Mumbai, India.

Chili can help combat heart attacks and strokes.

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One of the hottest curry dishes ever made is known as the Bit Spicy 3 Chili Phall which is even hotter than the infamous ‘Chicken Naga’, made with a high volume of Naga pepper seeds. More than 100 times hotter than jalapeño peppers!

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People crave a curry because the spices arouse and stimulate the taste buds.

curry powder

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Vindaloo was originally a Portuguese dish which took its name from the two main ingredients which were ‘vinho’, wine/wine vinegar, and ‘alhos’, garlic. Over time it was spiced up, hotted up and otherwise changed by the indigenous peoples of the ex-Portuguese colony of Goa.

The ‘Big Jim’, a large chili hailing from New Mexico, currently holds the world record for the largest chili ever grown. This plant frequently produces chilies that are over a foot in length, which is hugely impressive considering that the plant itself never grows more than two feet!

The town of North Curry is in Somerset while West Curry is in Cornwall.

Madras and pathia are both hot and sour dishes. Kashmiri a more subtle and creamy dish usually made with lychees or bananas – or both.

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Scientists at Nottingham Trent University have discovered that people begin to crave for a curry because the spices arouse and stimulate the taste buds.

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One in seven curries sold in the UK is a chicken tikka masala, making it the most popular Indian restaurant dish in the UK. It is thought to have originated in Britain after an enterprising Indian chef had the idea of adding a tomato and onion paste to the grilled chicken to satisfy the British preference for food that isn’t dry.

The largest naan bread ever made was a whopping 2.75m in diameter and contained meat dumplings – the equivalent of 167 normal sized naan breads. The bread took over ten hours to finish and required twelve chefs, 30kg mutton, 125kg flour, 16kg onion and 90kg of water to cook it.

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Southeastern Asian cultures have always mixed a number of spices to flavor their dishes, usually according to recipes handed down from generation to generation.

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A common way to categorize Thai curry is by the color of the curry paste used to make the curry dish. Green and red curry paste are the most typical. Yellow and sour curries (also sometimes known as orange curry, gaeng sohm) are also well known. Each has its own particular combination of herbs and spices to make up the curry paste that makes it unique.

‘Panang’ and ‘masaman’ curry are probably the most popular Thai curries in the West, because of their rich tastes.

Finally, if you are eating a curry which is just too hot for you, don’t drink water, that only makes it hotter!

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Did You Know? – I Didn’t.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, I have to admit that many of the facts that I use on these posts are just as big a surprise to me as they possibly are to you.

But I hope interesting, as well.

Here is the latest batch from the archives.

Enjoy.

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facts 04

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There are 13 ways to spell

the “o” sound in French

the-simpsons-d-oh

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There is a planet called HD189733b

where it rains glass sideways.

planet HD189733b

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The language of the Native American Zuni tribe

has resemblances to Japanese.

Subsequent research confirmed

biological similarities between the groups.

Native American Zuni tribe

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For a long time the world believed Troy to be a mythical city

and the Trojan War to be little more than legend,

until Heinrich Schliemann discovered the actual remains of the city.

Troy

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Despite the common myth that large brains equal more intelligence,

people like Einstein actually had a smaller brain

(only difference is, he used his!)

Einstein

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Vikings didn’t have horns on their helmets.

Viking helmet

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A man  named James Boole survived a fall of 6,000 feet

without a parachute with only a broken back and ribs.

It is estimated that when Boole hit the ground,

he was falling at about 100 kilometers per hour.

James Boole

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There is no such thing as a banana tree,

bananas grow on a banana plant.

banana plant

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Nuclear rain from the Chernobyl disaster

fell as far away as Ireland

where sheep farmers were banned from

selling their animals for human consumption for a time.

chernobyl-radiation-map

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For years Big Pharma made $millions off selling people

anti-stress drugs to cure their ulcers,

until an Australian scientist proved the ulcers

were quite often caused by bacteria and were easily curable.

anti-stress drugs

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Fourteen of the original rides from

Disneyland’s 1955 opening are still in operation.

original rides from Disneyland

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Nice comes from a Latin word meaning “ignorant”.

nescius

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Side by side, 2000 cells from the human body

could cover about one square inch.

cells from the human body

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When Robert Williams tried to retrieve

a faulty part at a Ford Motor’s casting plant,

the malfunctioning machine reactivated

and its arm slammed into his head, killing him instantly.

He is the first man in history to have been killed by a robot.

Ford Motor Company robot

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In one of the stupidest decision

in the history of the music industry,

Decca Records turned down the Beatles

because they “weren’t sellable”.

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Fact Filled February Continues.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It’s the last fact filled Tuesday in February, but not the last of the facts!

Another random mixture, surely there will be a few good ones in here for you.

Enjoy.

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did you know2

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The Earth weighs around

6,600,000,000,000,000,000,000 tons

(5,940 billion billion metric tonnes)!

earth-moon-mass

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Over 10,000 birds a year die

from smashing into windows!

bird seeing stars

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A mole can dig a tunnel 300 feet long

in just one night!

mole

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In Natoma, Kansas, it’s illegal to throw

knives at men wearing striped suits.

men wearing striped suits

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About 3000 years ago, most Egyptians

died by the time they were 30!

ancient pharaoh_preview

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There wasn’t a single pony in

the Pony Express, just horses!

ponyexpresslogo

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The penguin is the only bird

that can swim, but not fly!

penguin

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There are approximately fifty Bibles

sold each minute across the world!

bibles

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Rice paper does not have any rice in it!

Rice_paper

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The most used letter in the English alphabet

is ‘E’, and ‘Q’ is the least used!

EQ

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The opposite sides of a dice cube

always add up to seven!

dice-game-cube-die-gambling-gaming-img

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Apples are more efficient than caffeine

in keeping people awake in the mornings!

apples in a bowl, spoon and coffee beans isolated on white

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The poison-arrow frog has enough poison

to kill about 2,200 people!

poison arrow frog

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Smelling bananas and/or green apples

(that’s ‘smelling’, not ‘eating’)

can help you lose weight!

banana and green apple

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A lump of pure gold the size of a matchbox can

be flattened into a sheet the size of a tennis court!

gold_2Dbar

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Did You Know? More Interesting Facts To Ponder

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Another delve into the fasab fact file today.

If you are interested in facts, information or trivia there will hopefully be something in here for you.

Enjoy.

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did you know5 

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The first Ford cars had Dodge engines.

1903 Ford Model A

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The oldest known goldfish lived to 43 years of age.

Its name was Tish.

oldest goldfish

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There are only thirteen blimps in the world.

Nine of them are in the United States.

blimp_Goodyear

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In 1967, the IMAX film system was invented by Canadians

Graeme Ferguson, Roman Kroitor, Robert Kerr, and William C. Shaw

and premiered at Expo 67.

IMAX-home-theater

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Texas is also the only state that is allowed to fly its state flag

at the same height as the U.S. flag.

Texas Flag

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The typical lead pencil can draw a line

that is thirty five miles long

Pencils_hb

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Pollsters say that 40 percent of dog and cat owners

carry pictures of the pets in their wallets.

Pet-Care-Dog

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A meteor has only destroyed one satellite,

which was the European Space Agency’s Olympus in 1993.

olympus

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The average American drinks about 600 sodas a year.

sodas

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When Queen Elizabeth I of England died

she owned over 3,000 gowns

elizabethan gown

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The smallest man ever was Gul Mohammed (1957-1997) of India,

who measured 1 feet, 10 inches

gul-mohammed

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Before the fur trade had started in Canada,

it was estimated that there were over 6 million beavers

beaver

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In 1962, the first Wal-Mart opened up in Rogers, Arkansas

walmarts-first-ad

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The Saguaro Cactus, found in South-western United States

does not grow branches until it is 75 years old.

Saguaro Cactus

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Japan has approximately 200 volcanoes

and is home to 10% of the active volcanoes in the world

volcano-mt-asama-tokyo

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The Dutch people are known to be

the tallest people in Europe

holland tall people

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The word Nike comes from Greek Mythology.

Nike is the goddess of victory and was often depicted

as a small winged figure carried by the goddess Athene.

Nike

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The long fibers that are found in the banana plant

can make paper approximately 3000 times stronger than regular paper.

banana-paper-notebook

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The city of Seoul has been the capital city of Korea

for more than 600 years

Seoul-South-Korea

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In Ivrea, Italy, thousands of citizens celebrate the beginning of Lent

by throwing oranges at one another.

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More Stuff You Maybe Didn’t Know

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It’s fascinating fact day on the fasab blog.

Another random selection of stuff you maybe didn’t know and possibly didn’t know you didn’t know.

But now you will.

Enjoy.

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fact 01

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The fight scene on top of the train in Skyfall

was actually filmed on top of a real moving train

and Daniel Craig did not use a stunt double

skyfall-james-bond-train

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The last Woolly Mammoths lived at the same time

as the Egyptians were building the pyramids

wooly mammoth

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Because metal was scarce during World War II,

it wasn’t the acting but the Oscars given out that were wooden.

oscar

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Mexico City sinks about 10 inches a year

mexico-city-from-plane-1

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In 2001 Beaver College changed its name

to Arcadia in part because anti-porn filters

blocked access to the school’s website.

beaver college student

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On average, 100 people choke to death

on ball-point pens every year.

Sucking-on-pens

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Negative emotions such as anxiety and depression

can weaken your immune system.

Negative-Emotions
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“Entomophagy” is the name used to describe the fact that people eat insects,

a practice that has been going on for centuries throughout

Africa, Australia, Asia, the Middle East, and North, Central and South America,

because many bugs are both protein-rich and good sources of vitamins, minerals and fats.

eating insects

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One in fourteen women in America is a natural blonde.

Only one in sixteen men is.

dumb-blonde-joke

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Next Bugatti SuperVeyron will reach 60 mph in 1.8 seconds

at a maximum speed of 288 mph or 463 km/hr

2013-bugatti-veyron

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98% of all murders and rapes are by a

close family member or friend of the victim.

crime scene

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The H Bomb leaves no blood when it is used,

only a 20 km radius of radioactive ash.

h-bomb

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British People Are Drunk in 76% of Facebook Photos

Brits drunk on facebook

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Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.

bats

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Men grow ear hair as they get older, women don’t

hair ears

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An ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

drunk_ant_test

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Bananas contain a natural chemical that can make a person happy.

This is the same chemical found in Prozac.

happy banana

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Boeing 747’s wing span is longer than the Wright brother’s first flight.

The Wright brother’s invented the airplane.

Boeing-747-8-Intercontinental

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Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

tiger

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The United States sent 813 men, 27 helicopters and

nuclear capable bombers to cut down a tree in the Korean DMZ.

cutting down tree

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Yes Of Course They’re Real!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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A few people have asked me if the quiz show answers that I use on the fasab blog are all genuine or did I make some of them up for comic effect.

It’s not that I would be beyond doing things to get a laugh sometimes, but to answer the question for everyone who considered it:

Yes they are all genuine answers.

Yes, people are genuinely that stupid.

Yes, it’s hard to believe but it’s true.

Still not convinced?

Need evidence direct from the horses’ mouths?

Grab yourself a nice cup of coffee and take 15 minutes or so to watch the video.

Enjoy (and never doubt fasab again…… well not all the time.)

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