Herbs For Sale: Please No Thyme Wasters!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Are you are looking for some really funny jokes?

Well, never mind.

Try these instead.

It’s Pun Day!

Enjoy or endure!!

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rofl

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I just saw a bird playing chess in the park.

Toucan play at that game.

toucan

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If a vacuum is a volume of space

that contains no matter or particles,

why did someone bother to invent a cleaner for it?

vacuum cleaner

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My son got straight A’s in his italics exam.

Which actually cost him quite a few marks.

straight A's

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24 years ago today the doctor delivered me.

I can’t believe I’ve survived so long without a liver.

liver

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I just bought my 6 month old son one of those baby bouncers.

£10 an hour but he keeps the kid safe

bouncer

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My wife used to be a regular customer at McDonalds.

These days, she’s more of a large.

McDonalds

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Hearing aid for sale.

Give me a shout if you’re interested.

Man uses an ear trumpet

.

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A man came up to me and said,

“Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.”

I said, “That is very annoying.”

He said, “Well I can only apologize.”

sorry

.

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I’m lucky, I can always count on my wife.

She wears a lot of beads.

a lot of beads

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“What’s done cannot be undone.”

They obviously didn’t have shoelaces in Shakespeare’s day.

What's done cannot be undone

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So these two morons were making fun

of an old guy on the bus yesterday.

My friend said,

“You have to respect him, he’s a Vietnam vet.”

They just said

“What’s it to us if he helps animals in Vietnam.”

Vietnam vet

.

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Why did I say I’d win that giant butterfly contest?

Me and my big moth.

big_AZZ_moth

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I just saw two bits of sellotape stuck to a lamppost.

Must have been a missing poster.

funny-missing-picture

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My girlfriend was devastated to find out

that my friends call me

‘The Love Machine’

because I’m terrible at tennis.

terrible at tennis

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Finally for today, this ring cymbalizes so much to me.

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http://instantrimshot.com/index.php?sound=rimshot&play=true

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2 thoughts on “Herbs For Sale: Please No Thyme Wasters!

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