“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Happily we don’t live in the middle ages, so now resistance is futile.
If you haven’t guessed already….
It’s pun day!
Enjoy.
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I’m in a band called Atom
We’ll never split.
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I’ve been drawing bar graphs, pie charts
and venn diagrams all over walls in town.
I’m a graphitti artist.
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We were going for a picnic today and my husband
asked me to get some ice and a cooler bag.
I thought, “That’s a bit harsh,
there’s nothing wrong with my current bag”.
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Can someone give me a definition of homosexuality,
in lay-men’s terms?
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On the investment front I’m worried that my shares in a
major cordial company are going to be diluted.
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Don’t trust people who avoid the sun.
They’re shady.
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Signing up to a mailing list has done nothing to
quell my addiction for German poetry.
I’m getting verse by the day.
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According to a survey,
seven out of ten people use the double negative.
I ain’t never heard such nonsense in my life.
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The horse came galloping towards me,
the sun glistening off the rider’s armour, helmet and lance,
which I realised was aimed at my head.
Man, those knight-vision goggles are really awesome!
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Running a bingo hall is more than just a job.
It’s a calling.
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Whilst on holiday near lake Geneva
I purchased a large bottle of mineral water
I struggled to carry it though,
it was an evian.
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There are two i’s in narcissist
and they absolutely hate each other.
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After a terrible Chinese meal last night, I refused to pay.
Unfortunately the chef heard what I said and pinned me up against the wall,
threatening me with a pan unless I paid up.
Talk about being stuck between a wok and a hard place.
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I saw a man with a bald patch earlier.
I thought, “He’s obviously trying to cut down, or quit being bald”.
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It appears that smoking heroin is
far better for addicts than injecting it,
needleless to say.
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A girl from Prague stopped me in town earlier and
asked where the best shop for clothes was.
I said “Check Republic.”
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What do you call a brittle Scotsman?
A Glasswegian.
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I hate it when people make jokes about Vietnam.
It Hanoi’s me.
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Jay-Z? A psychiatrist?
Must be Shrink Rap.
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We spent a fortune on electrocution lessons for our son.
Until he learned to speak properly.
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fasab 