You Know What They Used To Say In The Middle Ages, “Resistance Is Feudal”

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Happily we don’t live in the middle ages, so now resistance is futile.

If you haven’t guessed already….

It’s pun day!

Enjoy.

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rofl

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I’m in a band called Atom

We’ll never split.

Stylised_Lithium_Atom

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I’ve been drawing bar graphs, pie charts

and venn diagrams all over walls in town.

I’m a graphitti artist.

bar graphs, pie charts and venn diagrams

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We were going for a picnic today and my husband

asked me to get some ice and a cooler bag.

I thought, “That’s a bit harsh,

there’s nothing wrong with my current bag”.

cooler_bag_full

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Can someone give me a definition of homosexuality,

in lay-men’s terms?

gay_closet

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On the investment front I’m worried that my shares in a

major cordial company are going to be diluted.

raspberry-cordial

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Don’t trust people who avoid the sun.

They’re shady.

shady people

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Signing up to a mailing list has done nothing to

quell my addiction for German poetry.

I’m getting verse by the day.

German poetry

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According to a survey,

seven out of ten people use the double negative.

I ain’t never heard such nonsense in my life.

do not put nothing here

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The horse came galloping towards me,

the sun glistening off the rider’s armour, helmet and lance,

which I realised was aimed at my head.

Man, those knight-vision goggles are really awesome!

knight

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Running a bingo hall is more than just a job.

It’s a calling.

bingo-hall

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Whilst on holiday near lake Geneva

I purchased a large bottle of mineral water

I struggled to carry it though,

it was an evian.

evian bottle

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There are two i’s in narcissist

and they absolutely hate each other.

narcissism-and-preaching

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After a terrible Chinese meal last night, I refused to pay.

Unfortunately the chef heard what I said and pinned me up against the wall,

threatening me with a pan unless I paid up.

Talk about being stuck between a wok and a hard place.

AntCreationsChineseChef

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I saw a man with a bald patch earlier.

I thought, “He’s obviously trying to cut down, or quit being bald”.

bald-spot

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It appears that smoking heroin is

far better for addicts than injecting it,

needleless to say.

druggie cartoon

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A girl from Prague stopped me in town earlier and

asked where the best shop for clothes was.

I said “Check Republic.”

republic store

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What do you call a brittle Scotsman?

A Glasswegian.

Scotsman

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I hate it when people make jokes about Vietnam.

It Hanoi’s me.

Vietnam Map

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Jay-Z? A psychiatrist?

Must be Shrink Rap.

jay-z

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We spent a fortune on electrocution lessons for our son.

Until he learned to speak properly.

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A New Quiz To Start A New Month

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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What better way to start a new week and a new month than with a good quiz.

It’s the usual random mixture of difficult, easy and tricky

And again as usual the answers are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below – but NO cheating!

Enjoy.

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Quiz_button 02

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Q.  1:  Where is the only place today comes before yesterday?  

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Q.  2:  What is another way to say “every 9 years”?

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Q.  3:  What US State has almost twice as many caribou as people?

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Q.  4:  What is the only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter?

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Q.  5:  What is the national animal of Thailand?

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Q.  6:  What kind of nut has no shell?

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Q.  7:  What is the largest denomination bill produced by the US Treasury?

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Q.  8:  Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the tallest mountain in the world?           

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Q.  9:  What is the most common atom in the Universe?

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Q. 10:  Whoever makes it tells it not, whoever takes it knows it not, and whoever knows it wants it not. What is it?

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Q. 11:  Which Ocean is saltier, the Atlantic Ocean or the Pacific Ocean?

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Q. 12:  What well known city was originally called Edo?

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Q. 13:  We all know about the Titanic and probably seen the movies about the disaster. The full name of the Titanic ship is R.M.S. Titanic, but what do the letters “R.M.S.” stand for?

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Q. 14:  What was the tallest structure in the world prior to the construction of the Empire State Building in 1930?

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Q. 15:  Construction workers hard hats were first invented and used in 1933 in the building of what?

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Q. 16:  What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?     

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Q. 17:  What belongs to you, but is used mostly by others?       

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Q. 18:  If you keep a Goldfish in the dark room what color will it eventually turn?

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Q. 19:  What famous American invented the rocking chair?

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Q. 20:  Which Corset Company, with a very famous name not necessarily related to the corset business, created the bra cup sizing system, which is now used universally by manufacturers?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  Where is the only place today comes before yesterday?  

A.  1:  In a Dictionary

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Q.  2:  What is another way to say “every 9 years”?

A.  2:  Another way to say “every 9 years” is “Novennial”

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Q.  3:  What US State has almost twice as many caribou as people?

A.  3:  The state of Alaska has almost twice as many caribou as people.

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Q.  4:  What is the only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter?

A.  4:  The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is “uncopyrightable”.

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Q.  5:  What is the national animal of Thailand?

A.  5:  The elephant is the national animal of Thailand

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Q.  6:  What kind of nut has no shell?

A.  6:  A doughnut.

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Q.  7:  What is the largest denomination bill produced by the US Treasury?

A.  7:  The largest denomination bill U.S. bill produced by the US Treasury is for $100,000.

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Q.  8:  Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the tallest mountain in the world?           

A.  8:  Mount Everest, just because it hadn’t been discovered didn’t mean it wasn’t there!

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Q.  9:  What is the most common atom in the Universe?

A.  9:  Hydrogen is the most common atom in the universe

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Q. 10:  Whoever makes it tells it not, whoever takes it knows it not, and whoever knows it wants it not. What is it?

A. 10:  Counterfeit Money

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Q. 11:  Which Ocean is saltier, the Atlantic Ocean or the Pacific Ocean?

A. 11:  The Atlantic Ocean is saltier than the Pacific Ocean

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Q. 12:  What well known city was originally called Edo?

A. 12:  The city of Tokyo was originally called Edo

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Q. 13:  We all know about the Titanic and probably seen the movies about the disaster. The full name of the Titanic ship is R.M.S. Titanic, but what do the letters “R.M.S.” stand for?

A. 13:  “R.M.S.” stands for Royal Mail Steamship

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Q. 14:  What was the tallest structure in the world prior to the construction of the Empire State Building in 1930?

A. 14:  The Eiffel Tower was the tallest structure in the world prior to the construction of the Empire State Building in 1930.

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Q. 15:  Construction workers hard hats were first invented and used in 1933 in the building of what?

A. 15:  Construction workers hard hats were first invented and used in 1933 in the building of the Hoover Dam.

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Q. 16:  What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?     

A. 16:  Charcoal

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Q. 17:  What belongs to you, but is used mostly by others?       

A. 17:  Your Name

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Q. 18:  If you keep a Goldfish in the dark room what color will it eventually turn?

A. 18:  A lot of people think it will become darker and eventually black because there is no light, but the reverse is actually the case, it will become paler and eventually turn white. This is because the pigmentation cells in the fish’s scales that control color cannot work without light.

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Q. 19:  What famous American invented the rocking chair?

A. 19:  Benjamin Franklin invented the rocking chair.

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Q. 20:  Which Corset Company, with a very famous name not necessarily related to the corset business, created the bra cup sizing system, which is now used universally by manufacturers?

A. 20:  Warner Brothers Corset Company!

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How did you do?