This Quiz Is A Gas – Well The First Question Is.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Hi it’s quiz day again.

The usual mixture of subjects including geography, history, science and nature, so something for everyone perhaps.

And remember, as always, if you get stuck, you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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quiz host

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Q.  1:  Which gas is the main element in the air that we breathe?

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Q.  2:  What is the link between the females of the following: Antelope, Deer, Hamster, Mouse, and Squirrel?

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Q.  3:  Every year around this time the President of the US pardons a turkey and it goes to a public farm called Frying Pan Park, Herndon, VA., to live out its days, but which President is believed to have been the first to start this annual tradition?

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Q.  4:  What do the terms ‘NASA’ and ‘ESA’ stand for? (A point for each correct answer.)

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Q.  5:  What type of creature is a ‘gadwall’?

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Q.  6:  Who was the first American President of the United States?

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Q.  7:  Which physical property allows a needle to float on water?

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Q.  8:  Name the Capitals of the following countries. (A point for each correct answer.)

            a)  Australia         b)  Iceland         c)  Syria         d)  Uruguay         e)  Vietnam

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Q.  9:  And a related question, which country has three Capital cities? (A point for the correct answer and a bonus point for each one you name correctly.)

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Q. 10:  In what year did the first Macy’s Thanksgiving/Christmas parade take place?

            a)  1924            b)  1927            c)  1931            d)  1935

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Q. 11:  What is represented by the chemical symbol ‘Sn’?

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Q. 12:  In Roman Mythology, who was the messenger of the Gods?

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Q. 13:  When is the next leap year that will begin on a Friday?

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Q. 14:  What does a ‘dendrologist’ study?

            a)  Hair            b) Trees            c)  Teeth            d)  Plants

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Q. 15:  What two famous Shakespearean characters appear in the phonetic alphabet? (A point for each one you name correctly.)

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Q. 16:  Which is the largest planet in the solar system?

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Q. 17:  Which English scientist discovered Sodium, Potassium, Barium, Calcium, Magnesium, and designed a famous lamp?

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Q. 18:  Where would you find an ‘ISBN’ number?

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Q. 19:  Which city was sacked by the Visigoths in 410 and the Vandals in 455?

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Q. 20:  Who was going like ‘a bat out of hell’ in the late 1970s?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  Which gas is the main element in the air that we breathe?

A.  1:  Nitrogen. (By volume, dry air contains 78.09% nitrogen, 20.95% oxygen, 0.93% argon, 0.039% carbon dioxide, and small amounts of other gases.)

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Q.  2:  What is the link between the females of the following: Antelope, Deer, Hamster, Mouse, and Squirrel?

A.  2:  They are all called ‘Doe’.

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Q.  3:  Every year around this time the President of the US pardons a turkey and it goes to a public farm called Frying Pan Park, Herndon, VA., to live out its days, but which President is believed to have been the first to start this annual tradition?

A.  3:  President Harry Truman in 1947.

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Q.  4:  What do the terms ‘NASA’ and ‘ESA’ stand for? (A point for each correct answer.)

A.  4:  NASA is the North American Space Agency and ESA is the European Space Agency.

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Q.  5:  What type of creature is a ‘gadwall’?

A.  5:  A duck.

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Q.  6:  Who was the first American President of the United States?

A.  6:  The first President of the United States, born in the United States after July 4th, 1776, and therefore American, was Martin Van Buren (born in 1782).

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Q.  7:  Which physical property allows a needle to float on water?

A.  7:  Surface tension.

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Q.  8:  Name the Capitals of the following countries. (A point for each correct answer.)

            a)  Australia         b)  Iceland         c)  Syria                d)  Uruguay         e)  Vietnam

A.  8:  The correct answers are

            a) Canberra         b) Reykjavík       c) Damascus        d) Montevideo        e) Hanoi

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Q.  9:  And a related question, which country has three Capital cities? (A point for the correct answer and a bonus point for each one you name correctly.)

A.  9:  South Africa – Pretoria (executive),  Bloemfontein (judicial) and Cape Town (legislative).

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Q. 10:  In what year did the first Macy’s Thanksgiving/Christmas parade take place?

            a)  1924            b)  1927            c)  1931            d)  1935

A. 10:  The correct answer is a) 1924.

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Q. 11:  What is represented by the chemical symbol ‘Sn’?

A. 11:  ‘Sn’ is the chemical symbol for Tin.

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Q. 12:  In Roman Mythology, who was the messenger of the Gods?

A. 12:  Mercury.

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Q. 13:  When is the next leap year that will begin on a Friday?

A. 13:  2016. (It’s easier than you think, any leap year starting on Friday, January 1, should be divisible by 28, such as 1932, 1960, 1988, or 2044.

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Q. 14:  What does a ‘dendrologist’ study?

            a)  Hair            b) Trees            c)  Teeth            d)  Plants

A. 14:  The correct answer is b)  trees.

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Q. 15:  What two famous Shakespearean characters appear in the phonetic alphabet? (A point for each one you name correctly.)

A. 15:  Romeo and Juliet.

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Q. 16:  Which is the largest planet in the solar system?

A. 16:  Jupiter.

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Q. 17:  Which English scientist discovered Sodium, Potassium, Barium, Calcium, Magnesium, and designed a famous lamp?

A. 17:  Sir Humphrey Davy.

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Q. 18:  Where would you find an ‘ISBN’ number?

A. 18:  On a book.

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Q. 19:  Which city was sacked by the Visigoths in 410 and the Vandals in 455?

A. 19:  Rome.

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Q. 20:  Who was going like ‘a bat out of hell’ in the late 1970s?

A. 20:  Meat Loaf.

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Apparently 5/3rds Of People Can’t Do Fractions.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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5/3rds? That’s almost half, isn’t it?

But never mind all that, today isn’t about mathematics, it’s about puns.

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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Recently got myself a symphony orchestra but for some reason

all they eat is lemons and strawberry shortcake.

They’re called the Bittersweet Symphony.

Bittersweet Symphony

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My brother just got his exam results

for his Double Equine Studies.

He got a G G.

GG

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My friend’s wife started her job on a cruise ship last week.

I asked him, “How is she getting on?”

He replied, “I’m not sure, I think they use a crane.”

crane

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Did you hear about the two clams

who went out on a cheap date?

They were just being shellfish.

clam-thumb-460x260

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Two geologists were staring

at a huge fissure in a cliff face

and one was overheard to say

‘It’s not my fault’.

fissure in cliff face

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I once tried telling a joke about bad postmen,

the delivery was all wrong.

cartoon-postman-running-away-from-a-dog-he-is-dropping-his-letters

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When an actress saw her first strands of

gray hair she thought she’d dye.

first grey hair

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Paddy took two stuffed dogs he had

on to the Antiques Road Show

“Ooooh,” says the presenter.

“This is a very rare breed.”

“Do you have any idea what they’d fetch

if they were in good condition?”

“I dunno.” says Paddy.

“Sticks?”

roadshow2

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My doctor reckons I’m paranoid.

He didn’t say it,

but I know he’s thinking it.

paranoid

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An elderly man with Alzheimer’s walks into a bar

and sees a rather tasty elderly woman.

He walks over and sits beside her and says,

“Do I come here often?”

old man cartoon

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It’s really difficult to find what you want on eBay.

I was searching for cigarette lighters

and found over 15,000 matches.

match and cigarette lighter

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Scientist:

“My findings are pointless when taken out of context.”

Media:

“Scientist claims ‘findings are pointless’.”

cartoon scientist

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My friend was sacked yesterday

for sexual harassment.

No one understands why,

he was always hard at work.

hard at work

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My friend just told me he saw a midget climbing

over the wall of the prison on a bed sheet.

I told him he was a little con descending.

midget

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So the young teenage girl says to her mother,

“I think I’m pregnant.”

“What?” exclaims the mother.

“But we had a talk about this.”

“I told you if a boy touches your breast you are to say ‘STOP’

and if he tries to touch you down there your are to say ‘DON’T’.”

“But Mom,” the girl replies.

“He touched them both at the same time.”

“And I shouted ‘DON’T’  ‘STOP’.”

mom-daughter-cartoon

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“I Think” Said The Sweet Potato, “Therefore I Yam”

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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The clue is in the title.

We’re playing with words again.

Yes, it’s pun day.

Enjoy!

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rofl

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I had no idea there were so many different types of sandpaper.

Luckily the guy in the shop gave me a rough guide.

sandpaper

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My grandfather tried to start his own company building airplanes.

But he couldn’t get it off the ground.

airplane

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I’ve just started time travelling with an old friend of mine.

We go back a long way.

time-travel-institute

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I used to have a job drilling for oil.

It was boring.

oil rig

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I had to start singing when I realized I didn’t have

enough money to get into the public toilets.

I was busking for a piss.

busker

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Every summer, my dad would take me to the beach,

put me in a chest and bury me in the sand.

Treasured memories.

boy with treasure map

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I’m having difficulty creating saline water.

I can’t work out if salt is part of the problem or part of the solution.

eureka-lab-cartoon

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I only got it two weeks and already my

Chinese sound system is broken.

So stereotypical.

sound system

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You know you’re in red neck territory when the

girls think Timberland is a theme park for lumberjacks.

wacky-races-06

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You know what seems odd to me?

Numbers that aren’t divisible by two.

Numbers-5-17-11-color

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I heard that Rapunzel used to be a real party animal.

She was always letting her hair down.

rapunzel__rapunzel__let_down_your_hair__by_miamidoll-d59m7pi

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After a hard day at work I thought it would be funny

to give my boss a big pat on the back.

That was my last day working on his farm.

cartoon-cow-pat-fly-buffet

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As I sat down to dinner with Gaius Marius, Julius Caesar

and my wife, she rolled her eyes and said

“No, I said I wanted more ROMANCE in our relationship”.

Romans at dinner

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I drink so much my liver is more like a dier.

Most Funny Drunk Animals (5)

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Monk: “What porn is acceptable?”

Archbishop: “Nun.”

catholiccartoonblog-pope-abuse-scandal-press-kick-me

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The banker said he could offer me a credit card with no interest.

I said, “Then why are you doing it?”

credit card cartoon2

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I got sacked from NASA for falling asleep on the rocket.

It completely ruined the salad at their summer barbecue.

rocket-salad-denna-jones-flickr

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Once on vacation my friend fell over a pyramid and hurt his mouth.

Egypt his tooth.

pyramids-of-egypt-cartoonpyramids-by-alexei-talimonov-media-culture-cartoon-toonpool-vrthbium

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The duck said to the bartender,

‘put it on my bill.’

looney-tunes-520-2

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I was in a Chinese restaurant last night and I asked

the waiter if there were any Chinese Jews.

He walked off then came back a while later and said,

“No we only have apple juice, lemon juice or orange juice.”

chinese restaurant

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I’m Beginning To Feel I’m Bean Stalked!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, it’s pun day, the day we all love  –  well most of us do anyway.

Enjoy this latest selection!

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When does a cow make the most noise?

When she’s feeling moooooody!

moody-cow_design

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I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with

a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides.

I picked it up and threw it.

It flew for more than 300 yards.

I’m sure that must have been a record.

vinyl-record

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There was a ghost at the hotel,

so they called for an inn spectre.

ghost hotel

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Me and my friends are in a band called Duvet.

We’re a cover band.

Cartoon_Rock_Band

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Messing with your computer’s memory chip

can have lasting RAMifications

memory chip ram

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My girlfriend got sacked from work and then lost her appeal.

I only found her appealing because she had a well paid job.

trump-youre-fired

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This one is just messed up.

messed up

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I sell balloons for 10p each or if you want them blown up it’s 15p.

I’ve adjusted the price to allow for inflation.

balloon seller cartoon

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A picture may be worth a thousand words,

but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

a_picture_is_worth_1000_words

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I lost my mood ring.

I don’t know how I feel about this.

Mood-Chart-Color

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I beat my wife up this morning.

She got up at 7.30, I was up at 7.

sleeping_wife

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Why did I divide sin by tan?

Just cos.

sin divided by tan

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With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

wedding cartoon

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I was recently asked about my views on euthanasia.

I said they all look the same to me.

Youth-in-Asia

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Nostalgia.

It’s not what it used to be.

nostalgia

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I just received an envelope marked – Photographs Do Not Bend.

The Mailman has, however, proven that they do.

Photos Do Not Bend

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I fell on my arm and had to have an operation on my funny bone.

I was in stitches for two weeks.

stitches

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I’ve just got my son a flat piece of cardboard for Christmas.

Although what he wants with an ex box I’ll never know.

cardboard box flat

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A man goes home to his wife and shows her his

latest tattoo of a spreadsheet on his chest.

“You’ve really Excelled yourself this time!” she says.

tattoo-non-vat-spreadsheet

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When a hospital runs out of maternity nurses

do they have a mid-wife crisis?

Midwife-Crisis

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