First Of June, First Quiz Of June.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Summer is beckoning but not before you try another fasab quiz.

Twenty more random questions to test your knowledge.

As usual if you get stuck you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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Quiz 07

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Q.  1:  How many leaves are there on a shamrock?

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Q.  2:  It is the name of a region in Western Europe, a unique language, a close fitting bodice and a common form of the ball game Pelota. What is it?

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Q.  3:  What nationality was the first person to reach the North Pole alone and on foot?

            a) Finnish          b) English          c) Norwegian          d) Swedish

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Q.  4:  Which mode of transport did Christopher Cockerell invent in the 1950’s?

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Q.  5:  What word links a herb or other small vegetable growth, the buildings, equipment, etc., of a company or an institution, or a shot in snooker where the cue ball hits a red ball which hits another red ball to make it go into a pocket?

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Q.  6:  What city in the United States of America is known as the “City of Oaks” because of the many oak trees that line the streets in the heart of the city.

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Q.  7:  What is a female bear called?

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Q.  8:  Gävleborg, Gotland and Uppsala are among the counties of which country?

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Q.  9:  In which Olympic sport are there ‘Normal Hill’ and ‘Large Hill’ events?

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Q. 10:  In Greek mythology who went in search of the ‘Golden Fleece’ ? (You get a point for the name of the leader, the name given to his followers and two bonus points for the name of their ship.)

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Q. 11:  What color originates from a famous 16th Century Italian painter and what color is it? (A point for each correct answer.)

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Q. 12:  Which English city has more than 100 miles of canal?

            a) London            b) Birmingham            c) Manchester

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Q. 13:  Which empire ruled most of India and Pakistan in the 16th and 17th centuries?

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Q. 14:  What writer created the famous Baker Street detective?

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Q. 15:  Which black and white bird has the scientific name ‘Pica pica’ ?

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Q. 16:  What is the name given to that part of the North Atlantic bounded by the Gulf Stream on the west, the North Atlantic Current on the north, the Canary Current on the east, and the North Equatorial Current on the south.

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Q. 17:  If you added together all the voting seats in the US Senate and House of Representatives, how many idiots could sit down?

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Q. 18:  Name the star of the movie ‘Taken’.

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Q. 19:  What company, still in existence, was at one time the largest landowner in the world, having 15% of the land in North America?

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Q. 20:  Finally a chance to beef up that points score. What were the eight original tokens used in the board game ‘Monopoly’ ?  (A point for each correct answer and two bonus points if you get all eight correct.)

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  How many leaves are there on a shamrock?

A.  1:  Three (3).

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Q.  2:  It is the name of a region in Western Europe, a unique language, a close fitting bodice and a common form of the ball game Pelota. What is it?

A.  2:  Basque.

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Q.  3:  What nationality was the first person to reach the North Pole alone and on foot?

            a) Finnish          b) English          c) Norwegian          d) Swedish

A.  3:  The correct answer is c) Norwegian. He was Børge Ousland and he walked there by himself in 1994.

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Q.  4:  Which mode of transport did Christopher Cockerell invent in the 1950’s?

A.  4:  The Hovercraft.

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Q.  5:  What word links a herb or other small vegetable growth, the buildings, equipment, etc., of a company or an institution, or a shot in snooker where the cue ball hits a red ball which hits another red ball to make it go into a pocket?

A.  5:  A ‘plant’.

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Q.  6:  What city in the United States of America is known as the “City of Oaks” because of the many oak trees that line the streets in the heart of the city.

A.  6:  Raleigh, North Carolina, is known as the “City of Oaks”.

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Q.  7:  What is a female bear called?

A.  7:  A ‘sow’.

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Q.  8:  Gävleborg, Gotland and Uppsala are among the counties of which country?

A.  8:  Sweden.

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Q.  9:  In which Olympic sport are there ‘Normal Hill’ and ‘Large Hill’ events?

A.  9:  Ski jumping.

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Q. 10:  In Greek mythology who went in search of the ‘Golden Fleece’ ? (You get a point for the name of the leader, the name given to his followers and two bonus points for the name of their ship.)

A. 10:  His name was ‘Jason’, his followers were the ‘Argonauts’, and the name of their ship (after which the followers were named) was the Argo.

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Q. 11:  What color originates from a famous 16th Century Italian painter and what color is it? (A point for each correct answer.)

A. 11:  Titian, a brownish-orange color.

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Q. 12:  Which English city has more than 100 miles of canal?

            a) London            b) Birmingham            c) Manchester

A. 12:  The correct answer is b) Birmingham.

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Q. 13:  Which empire ruled most of India and Pakistan in the 16th and 17th centuries?

A. 13:  The Mughal Empire.

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Q. 14:  What writer created the famous Baker Street detective?

A. 14:  Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, his creation was Sherlock Holmes.

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Q. 15:  Which black and white bird has the scientific name ‘Pica pica’ ?

A. 15:  The (Common) Magpie.

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Q. 16:  What is the name given to that part of the North Atlantic bounded by the Gulf Stream on the west, the North Atlantic Current on the north, the Canary Current on the east, and the North Equatorial Current on the south.

A. 16:  It is called the Sargasso Sea.

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Q. 17:  If you added together all the voting seats in the US Senate and House of Representatives, how many idiots could sit down?

A. 17:  535 (100 + 435).

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Q. 18:  Name the star of the movie ‘Taken’.

A. 18:  Liam Neeson.

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Q. 19:  What company, still in existence, was at one time the largest landowner in the world, having 15% of the land in North America?

A. 19:  Hudson’s Bay Company.

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Q. 20:  Finally a chance to beef up that points score. What were the eight original tokens used in the board game ‘Monopoly’ ?  (A point for each correct answer and two bonus points if you get all eight correct.)

A. 20:  Wheelbarrow, Battleship, Racecar, Thimble, Old-style shoe (or boot), Scottie dog, Top hat, Iron.

original monopoly tokens

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Forty-Four Mouth-Watering Facts About Curry.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I’ve done ‘peanut butter‘ and ‘chocolate‘ and ‘coffee‘ in other posts. Today it is another fasab food favorite, the curry.

A curry, properly made, has to be one of the most delicious foods in the world.

I have spent many happy evenings with friends enjoying this delicacy in one form or another. Personally I like it with some naan bread or sometimes with rice. Either way is socially acceptable and extremely tasty.

Mouth watering already?

Very good, let’s get straight to the facts.

Enjoy.

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dishes of curry

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The word curry comes from a Tamil word ‘kari’ or ‘karil’, meaning spices or sautéd vegetables.

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The meaning changed when Portuguese traders used it for the sauces with which rice was served.

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Essentially, the term curry was invented by the English administrators of the East Indian Trading Co. and later continued by British government employees.

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The British army in India further changed the meaning as its liking for hot sauces introduced the modern idea of curries being hot.

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Surprisingly, the term ‘curry’ isn’t used very much in India. There are many types of curry-style dishes, which have their own characteristic regional variations.

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Curry Powder is a mix of spices, rather than a spice in its own right. It usually consists of turmeric, coriander, cardamom, cumin, sweet basil, and red pepper.

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Some of the most common types of curry are ‘Korma’, ‘Massala’, ‘Dhansak’, ‘Phall’, ‘Rogan Josh’, ‘Dopiaza’, ‘Madras’ and ‘Vindaloo’.

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Curry is said to have a number of valuable health benefits, including the prevention of cancer, protection against heart disease, reducing Alzheimer’s disease symptoms, easing pain and inflammation, boosting bone health, protecting the immune system from bacterial infections, and increasing the liver’s ability to remove toxins from the body.

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In addition to being an established and firm favorite in Britain. and increasing popular throughout Europe and the United States, curry forms a major element of the diets of several Asian countries including India, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Maldives, Burma, Indonesia, Malaysia, Philippines, Thailand, Vietnam, China, Japan and Fiji.

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Chili (or Chilli) is the most popular spice in the world and can help combat heart attacks and strokes and extends blood coagulation times preventing harmful blood clots.

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Contrary to common western belief, curries are not always ‘hot’, they can be mild, medium and hot.

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curry with rice

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The earliest known curry was made in Mesopotamia in around 1700 BC, the recipe for meat in a spicy sauce appearing on tablets found near Babylon.

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The Scoville scale is the measurement of the pungency (spicy heat) of chili peppers or other spicy foods.

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The ‘Bhut Jolokia Chilli Pepper’ (also known as the ‘Naga Jolokia’), is the hottest pepper in the world, accompanied with its own health warning! This pepper is also known as the ‘Ghost Chilli’ or ‘Ghost Pepper’, and is grown in the Indian states of Assam, Nagaland and Manipur.

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The first commercial curry powder appeared in about 1780.

In Britain Indian food now surpasses Chinese food in popularity, with Indian restaurants outnumbering Chinese restaurants by two to one.

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The word ‘balti’ means bucket. Balti is more a style of cooking than one particular curry.

In specialist ‘Balti Houses’ the balti is a meal in itself which contains both meat and vegetables and is eaten straight from the karahi using curled up pieces of naan bread. In standard Indian restaurants the balti is more of a stir-fried curry containing plenty of fried green peppers and fresh cilantro (also known as coriander).

South Indian food is more spicy than North Indian food.

The first curry recipe in English appeared in Hannah Glasse’s ‘The Art Of Cookery’ in 1747.

The world’s biggest ever curry was a 13 tonne Biryani, including 187lb of chilies and 6600lb of rice. It took 60 chefs to make in New Delhi in June 2008. And required three cranes to move the container and a 3ft high furnace to cook it!

In Western Europe and the U K, curry powders available contain more turmeric than anything else, and tend to be toned down to palates used to bland food.

curry with naan bread

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The tallest poppadom stack in the world stands at a massive 282 poppadoms. The record was set by a chef from the Jali Indian Restaurant in Blackpool.

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In 2008, Bath and North East Somerset Council advised a man to sprinkle curry powder on his wife’s grave to keep squirrels and deer away.

Tim Stobbs, aged 42 years, currently holds the world record for munching an impressive 15 poppadoms in 5 minutes! The annual World Championships, in aid of Cancer Research UK Scotland, is held every year at St Andrews University.

There are about 10,000 Indian restaurants serving curry in the UK, the vast majority of which are run by people from Bangladesh, not India.

To make a ‘hot’ curry mild, just add some coconut milk.

The word ‘masala’ means spice mix.

In 1846, William Makepeace Thackeray wrote ‘A Poem To Curry’, as part of his Kitchen Melodies.

Britain’s first curry house, called the Hindustani Coffee House and located in London’s Portman Square, opened in 1809. Now there are more curry houses in London, England than in Mumbai, India.

Chili can help combat heart attacks and strokes.

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One of the hottest curry dishes ever made is known as the Bit Spicy 3 Chili Phall which is even hotter than the infamous ‘Chicken Naga’, made with a high volume of Naga pepper seeds. More than 100 times hotter than jalapeño peppers!

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People crave a curry because the spices arouse and stimulate the taste buds.

curry powder

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Vindaloo was originally a Portuguese dish which took its name from the two main ingredients which were ‘vinho’, wine/wine vinegar, and ‘alhos’, garlic. Over time it was spiced up, hotted up and otherwise changed by the indigenous peoples of the ex-Portuguese colony of Goa.

The ‘Big Jim’, a large chili hailing from New Mexico, currently holds the world record for the largest chili ever grown. This plant frequently produces chilies that are over a foot in length, which is hugely impressive considering that the plant itself never grows more than two feet!

The town of North Curry is in Somerset while West Curry is in Cornwall.

Madras and pathia are both hot and sour dishes. Kashmiri a more subtle and creamy dish usually made with lychees or bananas – or both.

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Scientists at Nottingham Trent University have discovered that people begin to crave for a curry because the spices arouse and stimulate the taste buds.

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One in seven curries sold in the UK is a chicken tikka masala, making it the most popular Indian restaurant dish in the UK. It is thought to have originated in Britain after an enterprising Indian chef had the idea of adding a tomato and onion paste to the grilled chicken to satisfy the British preference for food that isn’t dry.

The largest naan bread ever made was a whopping 2.75m in diameter and contained meat dumplings – the equivalent of 167 normal sized naan breads. The bread took over ten hours to finish and required twelve chefs, 30kg mutton, 125kg flour, 16kg onion and 90kg of water to cook it.

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Southeastern Asian cultures have always mixed a number of spices to flavor their dishes, usually according to recipes handed down from generation to generation.

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A common way to categorize Thai curry is by the color of the curry paste used to make the curry dish. Green and red curry paste are the most typical. Yellow and sour curries (also sometimes known as orange curry, gaeng sohm) are also well known. Each has its own particular combination of herbs and spices to make up the curry paste that makes it unique.

‘Panang’ and ‘masaman’ curry are probably the most popular Thai curries in the West, because of their rich tastes.

Finally, if you are eating a curry which is just too hot for you, don’t drink water, that only makes it hotter!

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Did You Know? – Candle Clocks And Feral Cats Are Just Two Of Today’s Fabulous Facts!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Another selection of random facts including candle clocks and feral cats, and what could be more random than that?

So here we go.

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did you know2

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Russia sold Alaska to the US for 2 cents an acre

because they thought it was a useless tundra.

(Big mistake comrades!)

map Alaska and Russia

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The Chernobyl disaster released

at least 100 times more radiation

than the atom bombs dropped

on Nagasaki and Hiroshima.

chernobyl

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Up to 200 feral cats live in Disneyland

and are tolerated because they eradicate

mice and rats on the property.

feral cats live in Disneyland

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The largest cell in the human body is the female egg,

and the smallest is the male sperm.

ovum-largest-cell-in-the-body-and-sperm-cell-the-smallest-

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There are entire cities all over China

with no people living in them!

China ghost city

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In Germany there are fake bus stops outside many nursing homes

to prevent confused senior citizens from wandering off.

fake-bus-stop

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Twelve book publishers rejected Harry Potter,

a very shrewd move on their part since

the sales of the series is now approaching half a billion!

harry_potter_paperback_set

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Before clocks as we now know them,

there were candle clocks that burned a set amount of hours.

If you wanted an alarm or reminder,

you pushed a nail into the candle at the desired height/time length

and when it melted the nail would fall out and the

noise of it hitting the metal holder would alert you.

candle clock

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Loophole (or murder hole)

originally referred to the slits in castle walls

that archers would shoot their arrows through.

castle-arrow-slits

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NASA has lost over 700 boxes of magnetic data tapes

recorded throughout the Apollo program

including original footage of the moon landing.

They ‘think’ some of them may have

‘accidentally been taped over’.

NASA-Tape
A NASA tape – not one of the ones they lost – because they’re lost!!!

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Harvard University was founded

before calculus was derived.

Harvard University

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Apparently it is possible

to sail a boat from Pakistan to Russia

if you sail in a completely straight line.

sail boat

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There are some trees alive today that

were alive before the pyramids were built.

oldest trees on earth

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Chester A. Arthur was known for his impeccable attire,

earning him the nickname “Elegant Arthur.”

On his last day in office,

four women offered him their hands in marriage.

chester_arthur

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Regarded as his finest song,

David Bowie’s ‘Space Oddity’ purports to tell in only five minutes

a story that can easily serve as the plot to a two-hour sci-fi film.

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The Monday Quiz Returns.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, the Monday Quiz returns.

No surprises there, but maybe one or two in the questions.

Let’s see how you do this week. 

If you get stuck the answers are, as usual, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below  –  but please NO cheating!

Enjoy, and good luck!

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quiz 09

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Q.  1:  What handicap did the composer Beethoven have?

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Q.  2:  According to legend, who rewarded a man for his loyalty by giving him  the secret recipe for Drambuie?

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Q.  3:  Which two semaphoric letters are found on the famous anti war peace symbol from the 1960’s ?

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Q.  4:  In which movie would you find a robot called ‘Gort’

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Q.  5:  What name did the Vikings give to Newfoundland?

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Q.  6:  What do all of the following have (or don’t have) in common? 

Galileo, Jesse James, Jerry Garcia, Dustin Hoffman, James Doohan, Frodo Baggins,  Tony Iommi, Telly Savalas, Boris Yelzin, Buster Keaton, Harold Lloyd, Daryl Hannah and Gary Burghoff (‘Radar’ O’Reilly from M*A*S*H)

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Q.  7:  In literature, King Richard III was desperate and willing to pay a high price for what?

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Q.  8:  Which fruit is a port city in the Democratic Republic of the Congo? 

    a) Orange

    b) Banana

    c) Ugli

    d) Guava

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Q.  9:  In China in 1989 in which Beijing Square were the protests against the government crushed by tanks?

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Q. 10:  What is the name of the race of giants mentioned in the Bible who lived in Canaan?

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Q. 11:  “I coulda had class, I coulda been somebody, I coulda been a contender”. What famous actor said the words and in which famous movie?

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Q. 12:  Who was the first WBC heavyweight boxing champion in 1978?

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Q. 13:  What is the name of the current German Chancellor?

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Q. 14:  Put the following in the correct order starting with the fastest and ending with the slowest:

 Human, Nimitz class aircraft carrier, Grizzly bear, A common pig, Cheetah, Japanese ‘bullet’ train, Ostrich, Peregrin falcon. 

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Q. 15:  Which new country was formed in 1971 at the end of the Pakistan / India conflict?

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Q. 16:  Who played ‘Lucy Ewing’ in the hit TV Series ‘Dallas’ and what was her rather unkind nickname?

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Q. 17:  What was the name of the French underground movement that fought against the Germans in World War II?

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Q. 18:  Name the capital and the largest city in New Zealand (a point for each).

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Q. 19:  In the ‘Bond’ movies what were the codenames for James Bond’s boss and the person responsible for the gadgets he used? 

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Q. 20:  What ‘o’clock’ is mentioned in the Bangles hit song ‘Manic Monday’?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  What handicap did the composer Beethoven have?

A.  1:  He was hearing impaired.

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Q.  2:  According to legend, who rewarded a man for his loyalty by giving him  the secret recipe for Drambuie?

A.  2:  Bonnie Prince Charlie.

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Q.  3:  Which two semaphoric letters are found on the famous anti war peace symbol from the 1960’s ?

A.  3:  N and D for Nuclear Disarmament.

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Q.  4:  In which movie would you find a robot called ‘Gort’

A.  4:  The Day The Earth Stood Still.

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Q.  5:  What name did the Vikings give to Newfoundland?

A.  5:  Vinland.

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Q.  6:  What do all of the following have (or don’t have) in common? 

 Galileo, Jesse James, Jerry Garcia, Dustin Hoffman, James Doohan, Frodo Baggins,  Tony Iommi, Telly Savalas, Boris Yelzin, Buster Keaton, Harold Lloyd, Daryl Hannah and Gary Burghoff (‘Radar’ O’Reilly from M*A*S*H)

A.  6:  They are/were all missing a finger or fingers.

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Q.  7:  In literature, King Richard III was desperate and willing to pay a high price for what?

A.  7:  “A horse, a horse! My kingdom for a horse.”

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Q.  8:  Which fruit is a port city in the Democratic Republic of the Congo? 

    a) Orange

    b) Banana

    c) Ugli

    d) Guava

A.  8:  b) Banana

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Q.  9:  In China in 1989 in which Beijing Square were the protests against the government crushed by tanks?

A.  9:  Tiananmen Square.

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Q. 10:  What is the name of the race of giants mentioned in the Bible who lived in Canaan?

A. 10:  Nephilim.

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Q. 11:  “I coulda had class, I coulda been somebody, I coulda been a contender”. What famous actor said the words and in which famous movie?

A. 11:  Marlon Brando in ‘On the Waterfront’.

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Q. 12:  Who was the first WBC heavyweight boxing champion in 1978?

A. 12:  Ken Norton.

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Q. 13:  What is the name of the current German Chancellor?

A. 13:  Angela Merkel.

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Q. 14:  Put the following in the correct order starting with the fastest and ending with the slowest:

 Human, Nimitz class aircraft carrier, Grizzly bear, A common pig, Cheetah, Japanese ‘bullet’ train, Ostrich, Peregrin falcon. 

A. 14:  The correct order, fastest to slowest, is:

    1) Japanese ‘bullet’ train (361 mph);  2) Peregrin falcon (200 mph); 3) Cheetah (70 mph); 4) Ostrich (40 mph); 5) Nimitz class aircraft carrier (34.5 plus mph); 6) grizzly bear (30 mph); 7. Human (28 mph); 8. Common pig  (11 mph)

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Q. 15:  Which new country was formed in 1971 at the end of the Pakistan / India conflict?

A. 15:  Bangladesh.

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Q. 16:  Who played ‘Lucy Ewing’ in the hit TV Series ‘Dallas’ and what was her rather unkind nickname?

A. 16:  ‘Lucy Ewing’ was played by Charlene Tilton and her nickname because of her lack of height was the ‘Poison Dwarf’

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Q. 17:  What was the name of the French underground movement that fought against the Germans in World War II?

A. 17:  The Maquis (If you are nice you can also claim a point for ‘French Resistance’)

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Q. 18:  Name the capital and the largest city in New Zealand (a point for each).

A. 18:  Wellington is the capital; Auckland is the largest city.

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Q. 19:  In the ‘Bond’ movies what were the codenames for James Bond’s boss and the person responsible for the gadgets he used? 

A. 19:  They were known as ‘M’ and ‘Q’.

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Q. 20:  What ‘o’clock’ is mentioned in the Bangles hit song ‘Manic Monday’?

A. 20:  6 o’clock.

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US Politics & Foreign Policy for Dummies

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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A bit of a change from numbers this Friday.

I found this piece which purports to explain and enlighten us about US politics.

It is in the form of a conversation between a father and his child and as children do, some very telling questions are asked to which the answers are to say the least confusing.

Some of it is a little bit dated, but the basic principles hold good today. It highlights yet again the deeply flawed thinking that is still behind the decisions that affect us all.

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foreign policy for dummies

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Q: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?

A: Because they had weapons of mass destruction honey.

 

Q: But the inspectors didn’t find any weapons of mass destruction.

A: That’s because the Iraqis were hiding them.

 

Q: And that’s why we invaded Iraq?

A: Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections.

 

Q: But after we invaded them, we STILL didn’t find any weapons of mass destruction, did we?

A: That’s because the weapons are so well hidden. Don’t worry, we’ll find something eventually.

 

Q: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?

A: To use them in a war, silly.

 

Q: I’m confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use in a war, then why didn’t they use any of those weapons when we went to war with them?

A: Well, obviously they didn’t want anyone to know they had those weapons, so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend themselves.

 

Q: That doesn’t make sense Daddy. Why would they choose to die if they had all those big weapons to fight us back with?

A: It’s a different culture. It’s not supposed to make sense.

 

Q: I don’t know about you, but I don’t think they had any of those weapons our government said they did.

A: Well, you know, it doesn’t matter whether or not they had those weapons. We had another good reason to invade them anyway.

 

Q: And what was that?

A: Even if Iraq didn’t have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein was a cruel dictator, which is another good reason to invade another country.

 

Q: Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade his country?

A: Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people.

 

Q: Kind of like what they do in China?

A: Don’t go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good economic competitor, where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops to make U.S. corporations richer.

 

Q: So if a country lets its people be exploited for American corporate gain, it’s a good country, even if that country tortures people?

A: Right.

 

Q: Why were people in Iraq being tortured?

A: For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government. People who criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured.

 

Q: Isn’t that exactly what happens in China?

A: I told you, China is different.

 

Q: What’s the difference between China and Iraq?

A: Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba’ath party, while China is Communist.

 

Q: Didn’t you once tell me Communists were bad?

A: No, just Cuban Communists are bad.

 

Q: How are the Cuban Communists bad?

A: Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government in Cuba are sent to prison and tortured.

 

Q: Like in Iraq?

A: Exactly.

 

Q: And like in China, too?

A: I told you, China’s a good economic competitor. Cuba, on the other hand, is not.

 

Q: How come Cuba isn’t a good economic competitor?

A: Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, our government passed some laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do any business with Cuba until they stopped being Communists and started being capitalists like us.

 

Q: But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade with Cuba, and started doing business with them, wouldn’t that help the Cubans become capitalists?

A: Don’t be a smart-ass.

 

Q: I didn’t think I was being one.

A: Well, anyway, they also don’t have freedom of religion in Cuba.

 

Q: Kind of like China and the Falun Gong movement?

A: I told you, stop saying bad things about China. Anyway, Saddam Hussein came to power through a military coup, so he’s not really a legitimate leader anyway.

 

Q: What’s a military coup?

A: That’s when a military general takes over the government of a country by force, instead of holding free elections like we do in the United States.

 

Q: Didn’t the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military coup?

A: You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he did, but Pakistan is our friend.

 

Q: Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is illegitimate?

A: I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate.

 

Q: Didn’t you just say a military general who comes to power by forcibly overthrowing the legitimate government of a nation is an illegitimate leader?

A: Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend, because he helped us invade Afghanistan.

 

Q: Why did we invade Afghanistan?

A: Because of what they did to us on September 11th.

 

Q: What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?

A: Well, on September 11th, nineteen men, fifteen of them Saudi Arabians, hijacked four airplanes and flew three of them into buildings, killing over 3,000 Americans.

 

Q: So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?

A: Afghanistan was where those bad men trained, under the oppressive rule of the Taliban.

 

Q: Aren’t the Taliban those bad radical Islamics who chopped off people’s heads and hands?

A: Yes, that’s exactly who they were. Not only did they chop off people’s heads and hands, but they oppressed women, too.

 

Q: Didn’t the Bush administration give the Taliban $43 million dollars back in May of 2001?

A: Yes, but that money was a reward because they did such a good job fighting drugs.

 

Q: Fighting drugs?

A: Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from growing opium poppies.

 

Q: How did they do such a good job?

A: Simple. If people were caught growing opium poppies, the Taliban would have their hands and heads cut off.

 

Q: So, when the Taliban cut off people’s heads and hands for growing flowers, that was OK, but not if they cut people’s heads and hands off for other reasons?

A: Yes. It’s OK with us if radical Islamic fundamentalists cut off people’s hands for growing flowers, but it’s cruel if they cut off people’s hands for stealing bread.

 

Q: Don’t they also cut off people’s hands and heads in Saudi Arabia?

A: That’s different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical patriarchy that oppressed women and forced them to wear burqas whenever they were in public, with death by stoning as the penalty for women who did not comply.

 

Q: Don’t Saudi women have to wear burqas in public, too?

A: No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic body covering.

 

Q: What’s the difference?

A: The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi women is a modest yet fashionable garment that covers all of a woman’s body except for her eyes and fingers. The burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool of patriarchal oppression that covers all of a woman’s body except for her eyes and fingers.

 

Q: It sounds like the same thing with a different name.

A: Now, don’t go comparing Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. The Saudis are our friends.

 

Q: But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September 11th were from Saudi Arabia.

A: Yes, but they trained in Afghanistan.

 

Q: Who trained them?

A: A very bad man named Osama bin Laden.

 

Q: Was he from Afghanistan?

A: Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too. But he was a bad man, a very bad man.

 

Q: I seem to recall he was our friend once.

A: Only when we helped him and the mujahadeen repel the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan back in the 1980s.

 

Q: Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire Ronald Reagan talked about?

A: There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990 or thereabouts, and now they have elections and capitalism like us. We call them Russians now.

 

Q: So the Soviets – I mean, the Russians – are now our friends?

A: Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years after they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to support our invasion of Iraq, so we’re mad at them now. We’re also mad at the French and the Germans because they didn’t help us invade Iraq either.

 

Q: So the French and Germans are evil, too?

A: Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had to rename French fries and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast.

 

Q: Do we always rename foods whenever another country doesn’t do what we want them to do?

A: No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade.

 

Q: But wasn’t Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s?

A: Well, yeah. For a while.

 

Q: Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then?

A: Yes, but at the time he was fighting against Iran, which made him our friend, temporarily.

 

Q: Why did that make him our friend?

A: Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.

 

Q: Isn’t that when he gassed the Kurds?

A: Yeah, but since he was fighting against Iran at the time, we looked the other way, to show him we were his friend.

 

Q: So anyone who fights against one of our enemies automatically becomes our friend?

A: Most of the time, yes.

 

Q: And anyone who fights against one of our friends is automatically an enemy?

A: Sometimes that’s true, too. However, if American corporations can profit by selling weapons to both sides at the same time, all the better.

 

Q: Why?

A: Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good for America. Also, since God is on America’s side, anyone who opposes war is a godless un-American Communist. Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq?

 

Q: I think so. We attacked them because God wanted us to, right?

A: Yes.

 

Q: But how did we know God wanted us to attack Iraq?

A: Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W. Bush and tells him what to do.

 

Q: So basically, what you’re saying is that we attacked Iraq because George W. Bush hears voices in his head?

A: Yes! You finally understand how the world works. Now close your eyes, make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep. Good night.

 

Q: Good night, Daddy.

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politics for dummies

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Yes Of Course They’re Real!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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A few people have asked me if the quiz show answers that I use on the fasab blog are all genuine or did I make some of them up for comic effect.

It’s not that I would be beyond doing things to get a laugh sometimes, but to answer the question for everyone who considered it:

Yes they are all genuine answers.

Yes, people are genuinely that stupid.

Yes, it’s hard to believe but it’s true.

Still not convinced?

Need evidence direct from the horses’ mouths?

Grab yourself a nice cup of coffee and take 15 minutes or so to watch the video.

Enjoy (and never doubt fasab again…… well not all the time.)

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Do You Have To Fail A Test To Get On These Programs?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Another round of answers given by less than smart contestants on television and radio quiz shows.

It all makes me wonder what test do you have to do to get on these shows?

And does passing rule you out of taking part in the programs?

Enjoy.

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Q: Name a city in Arizona          

A: Tampa Bay

Q: Someone, living or dead, many people hate  

A: Rodney Dangerfield   

Q: Name a foreign country that you would want to visit  

A: Pakistan

Q: Name a holiday named after a person           

A: January

A: Easter

Q: The perfect dessert for a supermodel           

A: Chocolate Cake

A: Brownies      

Q: The most famous Disney character, other than Mickey Mouse

A: The road runner

Q: Name a city that begins with “San”    

A: Seattle

Q: An occupation requiring a college degree      

A: Vice president          

Q: An animal that starts with “D,” besides “dog”

A: Dragon

A: Dachshund   

Q: Name something people buy to impress other people           

A: Motorhome   

Q: The most enjoyable award show on television           

A ……….Family Feud (She heard “game show”)  

Q: Name a country in Africa      

A: South America

Q: Name something people drink when they have a cold

A: Vick’s

Q: Name a city named after a president 

A: Carson City  

Q: Name a man’s “best friend”  

A: Rubies


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And then I found this. Sorry!