As Syndromes Go, I Have A Good One Today. Enjoy The Facts.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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There seems to be syndromes for just about anything these days/

Maybe that would make a good post on its own.

For today however you will have to be content with just one, mixed in with a lot of other facts too.

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syndrome

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Apparently in San Francisco

it is illegal to dry your car

with used underwear.

dry your car

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Since the Space Shuttle electronics were

so outdated and nobody made them anymore,

NASA actually resorted to buying spare parts

on websites like eBay

Space Shuttle electronics

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Only about 226,000 underwater marine species

have been identified and scientists estimate that

there could be up to 25 million marine species

living in the oceans.

This means less than 1% of all underwater

marine life has been discovered.

underwater marine species

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Machu Picchu, the Incan citadel set high

in the Andes Mountains in Peru,

was so high in the mountains that it

wasn’t discovered until 1911.

Machu Picchu

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If it were a country,

McDonald’s would be the 90th richest

country on Earth.

McDonald's country

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In the 80’s Romanian President Nicolae Ceausescu

had the game of scrabble banned and described it

as “overly intellectual” and a “subversive evil”.

scrabble help

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Discovered in 1852 and named after

the Greek mythological figure Psyche,

16 Psyche is a one of the largest metal asteroids

in the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter.

Unlike most of other metal asteroids,

Psyche shows no sign of the presence of water

and is believed to have a purely iron-nickel composition.

16 Psyche

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After falling asleep in class and being awakened

by a teacher smacking her palm down on his desk,

a 16 year old’s parents decided to sue the

Connecticut Board of Education

for the hearing loss he suffered.

Connecticut Board of Education

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The thing that is always used

to measure your foot at the shoe store

is called a Brannock Device.

Brannock Device

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Heart attack guns exist.

According to disclosures by the CIA in 1975,

there is such a thing as a ‘heart attack gun’.

It fires a bullet made of ice, dipped in shellfish toxin

that immediately induces a heart attack.

heart attack gun

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The first solo person to circumnavigate the globe

using only human power

was Erden Eruc of Turkey who

walked and rowed right around the world!

Erden Eruc

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Paris Syndrome is a real psychological syndrome

that affects mostly Japanese people when they realize

that Paris isn’t as great a place as they thought it would be.

The Japanese embassy in France even has a

special hotline that tourists can call.

Symptoms include nausea and headaches.

 

Paris Syndrome

 

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There Is Only One Batman In The World – Yes, It’s Fact Day.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, today is fact day on the fasab blog.

And apparently there is only one batman in the world.

That and other unusual offerings below.

Enjoy.

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fact 01

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In Germany you are not allowed

to run out of gas on the highway

 German autobahn traffic

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Although there are McDonald’s restaurants

in 119 countries,

40% of the total number are found in the US.

The only place in the continental US

that is more than 100 miles from a McDonald’s

is a desert in northwest Nevada.

 McDonald's sign Ruby Mountains Nevada

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The mayor of Batman city in southeastern Turkey

sued Warner Bros for using his city’s name

without permission.

“There is only one batman in the world”

he was quoted as saying.

 Batman

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The Museum of Non-Visible Art

sells art that only exists

in the imagination of the artist.

In 2011 a moron

– sorry, a woman –

bought one of their “non-visible”

art pieces for $10,000.

I wonder if she hung it on her imaginary wall

in her imaginary house???

 Empty-picture-frame Museum of Non-Visible Art

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In space,

about 10 billion light years distant,

there is an enormous water vapor cloud

that is estimated to hold up to 140 trillion times

the mass of water found in all Earth´s oceans.

 black-hole-quasar-water-cloud

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And still with space,

in typical bureaucrat fashion,

just in case life is found on some other planet,

NASA has an Office of Planetary Protection

already prepared.

 NASA Office of Planetary Protection

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The cardboard thingy that goes around

your coffee cup is called a ‘zarf’.

 zarfs

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The inventor of the diesel engine,

Rudolf Diesel,

committed suicide because he thought

his invention wouldn’t be successful.

 Rudolf Diesel

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Despite being the largest pre-Colombian American empire,

the Incas never developed a written language.

Thus there are no census records available

and estimates of the size of the Inca population has

varied widely from 4 million people to nearly 40 million.

 inca_man

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Karl Marx was once a correspondent

for the New York Daily Tribune.

 karl marx new york daily tribune

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Abraham Lincoln dreamt of his own assassination

just a few days before it happened.

He dreamt he could hear sad wailing in the White House

and, in getting up and trying to find it,

finally came upon a room with

mourners and his own corpse…

 Abraham Lincoln dreamt of his own assassination

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The first official fan-made music video

was Grégoire Pinard’s claymation video

of Placebo’s song “English Summer Rain”.

The band were so impressed that

they decided to make it official.

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Happy Meal Facts!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to happy meal day at the fasab blog.

So tuck in tso a few interesting facts.

But above all…

Enjoy.

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did you know4

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Every 14.5 hours a McDonald’s

opens somewhere in the world

 McDonald's

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Almost everything in space is unimaginably big

and the supergiant, as the name suggests, is no exception.

Supergiants are among the most massive and

most luminous stars, more massive and up to a

million times more luminous than the Sun.

 Big things in space

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In Ancient Egypt servants were covered in honey

to keep flies away from pharaoh

 honey

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Antarctica holds as much water in its ice

as the entire Atlantic Ocean

 Antarctica

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In spite of the fact that they

built over 30,000 km of road,

the Incas never developed

or discovered the wheel

 Inca roads

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2.5% of the American population perished

during the American Civil War

 American Civil War

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The Hope Diamond is estimated to be worth

$200-250 million and resides at the

Smithsonian Natural History Museum.

It is said to be cursed and supposedly causes

great misfortune and misery to whoever wears it.

One wearer was even said to have been

ripped apart by dogs, and another by a French mob.

 Hope Diamond

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Did you know that you can get ice cream in

Bacon, Garlic, Deep Fried Oyster

and Corn on the Cob flavors?

 ice creams

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In Denmark all drivers must

check under the car before starting it,

just to see if there is someone underneath

 drivers must check under the car

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The Constitution of the Confederate States of America

banned the slave trade, and when

the American Civil War started,

Confederate Robert E. Lee owned no slaves,

whereas Union general U.S. Grant did.

 U S Grant and Robert E Lee

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Apparently men buy more ties during harder times

to appear as though they’re working.

Tie width used to be a factor due to austerity measures

during past wars but these days economists mainly

just look at the number of ties being bought.

 ties

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Yellowstone in the USA was the

first national park on Earth.

President Ulysses S Grant declared

it a protected area in 1872.

Yellowstone National Park

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The Warning Signs Are Warning Signs!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Strange as it may seem Warning Signs are warning signs that society is in BIG trouble. They indicate that we have regressed to the level where we are allowing the stupidest people in society to dictate how the rest of us behave.

I disagree in the strongest possible terms with this trend. It is unnecessary and it is irritating for anyone with an IQ above 40.

If some dumb ass who knows they are allergic to nuts, buys a bag of nuts, then let them suffer the consequences of their stupidity if they eat them. Or if someone is in McDonalds or a similar establishment and buys a cup of hot coffee they should have the wit to realize that hot coffees is ‘hot’ and will burn them if they pour it all over themselves.

Harsh? Perhaps, but necessary.

Sadly the whole thing has deteriorated so far that, not only are there unnecessary warning labels on almost everything, but the morons for whom they are there now actually seem to be writing them too!

I could rant on, but better (and funnier) to show you some examples that make me shake my head in despair.

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“Do not use if you cannot

see clearly to read the information

in the information booklet.”

— In the information booklet.

information booklet

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“Caution:

The contents of this bottle

should not be fed to fish.”

— On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish

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“For external use only!”

— On a curling iron.

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“Warning: This product can burn eyes.”

— Also on a curling iron.

curling iron

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“Do not use in shower.”

— On a hair dryer.

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“Do not use while sleeping.”

— Also on a hair dryer.

hair dryer

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“Do not use while sleeping or unconscious.”

— On a hand-held massaging device.

massaging device

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“Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking.”

— On a toilet at a public sports facility

in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking

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“Shin pads cannot protect any part

of the body they do not cover.”

— On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.

Shin pads

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“This product not intended

for use as a dental drill.”

— On an electric rotary tool.

electric rotary tool

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“Caution:

Do not spray in eyes.”

— On a container of underarm deodorant.

underarm deodorant

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“Do not drive with sunshield in place.”

— On a cardboard sunshield that keeps

the sun off the dashboard.

cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard

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Political Jokes!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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No, this isn’t a list of the names of the members of the HoR or the Senate, or even the Obama administration, although I see why you would have jumped to that conclusion.

I thought I would try to lighten the mood for the weekend by posting some of the political jokes that made me smile.

Hope they have the same effect on you.

Enjoy.

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Politicians and diapers have one thing in common:

they should both be changed regularly…

and for the same reason.

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Q: Have you heard about McDonald’s new ‘Obama Value Meal’?

A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

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Q: How many politicians does

it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two: one to change it and

another one to change it back again.

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.stupid face 01

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Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?

A: Your Honor.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?

A: Senator.

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We used to have Reagan, Jonny Cash, and Bob Hope.

Now we have Obama, no cash, and no hope.

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The recession is getting so bad,

the bank sent me a new type of credit card.

It was pre-declined.

.stupid face 02

 

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It was so cold in Washington today,

I saw a Democrat who had his hands in his own pockets!

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I is very proud dat I went 2 school in da UK.

I fink out of all 17 countries in da world UK is da best.

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When they call the roll in the Senate,

the Senators do not know whether to answer

‘Present’ or ‘Not guilty.’ 

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.stupid face 07Today’s public figures can no longer

Today’s public figures can no longer

write their own speeches or books,

and there is some evidence

that they can’t read them either. 

(Gore Vidal.)

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‘Politics is the art of looking for trouble,

finding it whether it exists or not,

diagnosing it incorrectly,

and applying the wrong remedy’.

(Ernest Benn.)

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‘Politicians are the same all over.

They promise to build bridges,

even where there are no rivers’.

(Nikita Kruschchev.)

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stupid face 05

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I just hope our next world war isn’t with China.

Who would make uniforms for the troops?

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The Iranian leader has left

on a tour of friendly countries.

He’s expected home tomorrow.

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Foreign Aid :

Poor people in a rich country

sending money to

rich people in a poor country.

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stupid face 06

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I rarely speak to Obama supporters,

but when I do….

I ask for large fries.

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Obama: “Here we are, two black presidents.”

Mandela: “You’re not very black.”

Obama: “I’ve not been to jail.”

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President Obama met Bill Clinton for lunch.

“I was sorry to hear about Hillary’s concussion,”

Obama said. “How’s her head?”

“It’s fine,” Bill replied.

“But she’s no Monica.”

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stupid_391615

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My computer crashed earlier and I lost all my files,

Luckily the NSA has a back up…

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Stop repeat offenders.

Don’t re-elect them!

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Democracy:

A political system where

any two idiots outvote a genius.

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stupid face 03

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How many Feminists does

it take to change a lightbulb?

Two.

One to get a man to change it,

and the other to criticize men for inventing it.

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Spin doctors:

People who never call a spade a spade.

They proclaim it as a ground-breaking innovation.

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Politicians should serve two terms.

One in office, one in prison.

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stupid face 08

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No matter who you vote for

the government always seems to get in.

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Definition of an elephant:

A mouse built to government specifications.

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The word ‘politics’ is derived from

the word ‘poly’, meaning ‘many’,

and the word ‘ticks’,

meaning ‘blood sucking parasites’.

(Larry Hardiman.)

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Herbs For Sale: Please No Thyme Wasters!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Are you are looking for some really funny jokes?

Well, never mind.

Try these instead.

It’s Pun Day!

Enjoy or endure!!

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rofl

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I just saw a bird playing chess in the park.

Toucan play at that game.

toucan

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If a vacuum is a volume of space

that contains no matter or particles,

why did someone bother to invent a cleaner for it?

vacuum cleaner

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My son got straight A’s in his italics exam.

Which actually cost him quite a few marks.

straight A's

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24 years ago today the doctor delivered me.

I can’t believe I’ve survived so long without a liver.

liver

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I just bought my 6 month old son one of those baby bouncers.

£10 an hour but he keeps the kid safe

bouncer

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My wife used to be a regular customer at McDonalds.

These days, she’s more of a large.

McDonalds

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Hearing aid for sale.

Give me a shout if you’re interested.

Man uses an ear trumpet

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A man came up to me and said,

“Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.”

I said, “That is very annoying.”

He said, “Well I can only apologize.”

sorry

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I’m lucky, I can always count on my wife.

She wears a lot of beads.

a lot of beads

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“What’s done cannot be undone.”

They obviously didn’t have shoelaces in Shakespeare’s day.

What's done cannot be undone

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So these two morons were making fun

of an old guy on the bus yesterday.

My friend said,

“You have to respect him, he’s a Vietnam vet.”

They just said

“What’s it to us if he helps animals in Vietnam.”

Vietnam vet

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Why did I say I’d win that giant butterfly contest?

Me and my big moth.

big_AZZ_moth

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I just saw two bits of sellotape stuck to a lamppost.

Must have been a missing poster.

funny-missing-picture

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My girlfriend was devastated to find out

that my friends call me

‘The Love Machine’

because I’m terrible at tennis.

terrible at tennis

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Finally for today, this ring cymbalizes so much to me.

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http://instantrimshot.com/index.php?sound=rimshot&play=true

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Shock Headline: Rising Numbers Are On The Increase.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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But no shock that today is another Pun Day!

Enjoy or endure!!

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rofl

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Just opened my Electric bill and my Water bill at the same time.

I was completely shocked.

Utility-Bill

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The man who invented Velcro has died.

RIP

Velcro

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Keifer Sutherland was held up by Homeland Security

when he flew into LA airport for the

filming of the first episode of a new TV series.

They asked him the purpose of his visit and he said,

“I’m here to shoot a pilot.”

Keifer Sutherland with gun action shot

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My great uncle was so stubborn,

when he died, he left a won’t.

so stubborn

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“You make a very good cuppa,” she said.

“It’s my special tea,” I replied.

cup of tea

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I fell down a really deep dark hole today.

I just couldn’t see that well.

well

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There are countless films without Dracula in them.

dracula risen-fangs

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Just read a really sad story about how

blind people get used to new surroundings…

Touching stuff.

blind people touching

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I’ve decided to stop wearing my glasses.

It makes me look harder.

Worker looking forward, covering eyes from the sun

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 A rule of grammar:

double negatives are a no-no.

The-Simpsons-s11e06-Hello-Gutter-Hello-Fadder

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So here I am trekking through the woods……

hang on, bear with me

trekking through the woods

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Weighing an elephant is just like weighing a human.

But on a much bigger scale.

Weighing an elephant

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I asked my boss if I could leave half an hour early the other day.

He said, ” Only if you make up the time.”

I said, ” OK. It’s 35 past 50.”         

time-management-clock

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I work in McDonald’s and a customer was rude to me today,

so I got him back by not putting any Coke in his drink.

Just ice was served.         

glass of ice cubes

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Brian May is a slightly more optimistic version of Brian Cant.         

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