“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Welcome to the last Pun Day….
Of this July that is, I hope you didn’t get your hopes up too high.
Anyway here are the latest offerings.
Enjoy or endure!
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This nice weather doesn’t fool me one bit.
It’s just a front.
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What do you call a couple
who go fishing together?
Rod and Annette.
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I hate jokes about Vietnam.
They really Hanoi me.
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My new book about Poltergeists
is flying off the shelves.
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I was touched by my Granddad
when I was a little boy.
His tear jerking tales of world war two
were simply heartbreaking.
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I was telling the police officer
how local youths had thrown
a milk bottle at me and just missed.
He asked, “Skimmed past your face?”
I replied, “No, full fat over my shoulder.”
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‘My post box’
has got nine letters in it.
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I told my fiancee and friends that I wanted
to racially segregate our wedding.
They didn’t really warm to it.
I was met with a mixed reception.
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Age isn’t
“just a number”
– it’s quite clearly a word
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People who confuse
the metaphorical and the factual
make my head literally explode.
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My girlfriend was disappointed when
I bought her New York flights for her birthday.
But not as disappointed as I was when
I found out she didn’t even play darts.
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I’ve just stolen loads of swimming inflatables.
I’d better lilo.
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I went to see my new doctor this morning about my piles.
He told me to drop my trousers and pants and bend over.
As I pulled my cheeks apart, he said,
“I’m going to need your whole name.”
I said, “I just call it my asshole.”
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Gordon Ramsay reminds me of a newspaper.
Only with more headlines.
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Time traveller’s convention next June.
I’m there.
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fasab 