No, this isn’t a list of the names of the members of the HoR or the Senate, or even the Obama administration, although I see why you would have jumped to that conclusion.
I thought I would try to lighten the mood for the weekend by posting some of the political jokes that made me smile.
Hope they have the same effect on you.
Enjoy.
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Politicians and diapers have one thing in common:
they should both be changed regularly…
and for the same reason.
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Q: Have you heard about McDonald’s new ‘Obama Value Meal’?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
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Q: How many politicians does
it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two: one to change it and
another one to change it back again.
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Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
A: Your Honor.
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
A: Senator.
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We used to have Reagan, Jonny Cash, and Bob Hope.
Now we have Obama, no cash, and no hope.
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The recession is getting so bad,
the bank sent me a new type of credit card.
It was pre-declined.
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It was so cold in Washington today,
I saw a Democrat who had his hands in his own pockets!
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I is very proud dat I went 2 school in da UK.
I fink out of all 17 countries in da world UK is da best.
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When they call the roll in the Senate,
the Senators do not know whether to answer
‘Present’ or ‘Not guilty.’
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.Today’s public figures can no longer
Today’s public figures can no longer
write their own speeches or books,
and there is some evidence
that they can’t read them either.
(Gore Vidal.)
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‘Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it whether it exists or not,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedy’.
(Ernest Benn.)
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‘Politicians are the same all over.
They promise to build bridges,
even where there are no rivers’.
(Nikita Kruschchev.)
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I just hope our next world war isn’t with China.
Who would make uniforms for the troops?
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The Iranian leader has left
on a tour of friendly countries.
He’s expected home tomorrow.
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Foreign Aid :
Poor people in a rich country
sending money to
rich people in a poor country.
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I rarely speak to Obama supporters,
but when I do….
I ask for large fries.
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Obama: “Here we are, two black presidents.”
Mandela: “You’re not very black.”
Obama: “I’ve not been to jail.”
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President Obama met Bill Clinton for lunch.
“I was sorry to hear about Hillary’s concussion,”
Obama said. “How’s her head?”
“It’s fine,” Bill replied.
“But she’s no Monica.”
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My computer crashed earlier and I lost all my files,
The usual mixture of subjects including geography, history, science and nature, so something for everyone perhaps.
And remember, as always, if you get stuck, you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!
Enjoy and good luck.
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Q. 1: Which gas is the main element in the air that we breathe?
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Q. 2: What is the link between the females of the following: Antelope, Deer, Hamster, Mouse, and Squirrel?
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Q. 3: Every year around this time the President of the US pardons a turkey and it goes to a public farm called Frying Pan Park, Herndon, VA., to live out its days, but which President is believed to have been the first to start this annual tradition?
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Q. 4: What do the terms ‘NASA’ and ‘ESA’ stand for? (A point for each correct answer.)
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Q. 5: What type of creature is a ‘gadwall’?
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Q. 6: Who was the first American President of the United States?
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Q. 7: Which physical property allows a needle to float on water?
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Q. 8: Name the Capitals of the following countries. (A point for each correct answer.)
a) Australia b) Iceland c) Syria d) Uruguay e) Vietnam
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Q. 9: And a related question, which country has three Capital cities? (A point for the correct answer and a bonus point for each one you name correctly.)
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Q. 10: In what year did the first Macy’s Thanksgiving/Christmas parade take place?
a) 1924 b) 1927 c) 1931 d) 1935
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Q. 11: What is represented by the chemical symbol ‘Sn’?
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Q. 12: In Roman Mythology, who was the messenger of the Gods?
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Q. 13: When is the next leap year that will begin on a Friday?
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Q. 14: What does a ‘dendrologist’ study?
a) Hair b) Trees c) Teeth d) Plants
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Q. 15: What two famous Shakespearean characters appear in the phonetic alphabet? (A point for each one you name correctly.)
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Q. 16: Which is the largest planet in the solar system?
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Q. 17: Which English scientist discovered Sodium, Potassium, Barium, Calcium, Magnesium, and designed a famous lamp?
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Q. 18: Where would you find an ‘ISBN’ number?
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Q. 19: Which city was sacked by the Visigoths in 410 and the Vandals in 455?
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Q. 20: Who was going like ‘a bat out of hell’ in the late 1970s?
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ANSWERS
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Q. 1: Which gas is the main element in the air that we breathe?
A. 1: Nitrogen. (By volume, dry air contains 78.09% nitrogen, 20.95% oxygen, 0.93% argon, 0.039% carbon dioxide, and small amounts of other gases.)
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Q. 2: What is the link between the females of the following: Antelope, Deer, Hamster, Mouse, and Squirrel?
A. 2: They are all called ‘Doe’.
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Q. 3: Every year around this time the President of the US pardons a turkey and it goes to a public farm called Frying Pan Park, Herndon, VA., to live out its days, but which President is believed to have been the first to start this annual tradition?
A. 3: President Harry Truman in 1947.
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Q. 4: What do the terms ‘NASA’ and ‘ESA’ stand for? (A point for each correct answer.)
A. 4: NASA is the North American Space Agency and ESA is the European Space Agency.
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Q. 5: What type of creature is a ‘gadwall’?
A. 5: A duck.
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Q. 6: Who was the first American President of the United States?
A. 6: The first President of the United States, born in the United States after July 4th, 1776, and therefore American, was Martin Van Buren (born in 1782).
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Q. 7: Which physical property allows a needle to float on water?
A. 7: Surface tension.
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Q. 8: Name the Capitals of the following countries. (A point for each correct answer.)
a) Australia b) Iceland c) Syria d) Uruguay e) Vietnam
A. 8: The correct answers are
a) Canberra b) Reykjavík c) Damascus d) Montevideo e) Hanoi
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Q. 9: And a related question, which country has three Capital cities? (A point for the correct answer and a bonus point for each one you name correctly.)
A. 9: South Africa – Pretoria (executive), Bloemfontein (judicial) and Cape Town (legislative).
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Q. 10: In what year did the first Macy’s Thanksgiving/Christmas parade take place?
a) 1924 b) 1927 c) 1931 d) 1935
A. 10: The correct answer is a) 1924.
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Q. 11: What is represented by the chemical symbol ‘Sn’?
A. 11: ‘Sn’ is the chemical symbol for Tin.
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Q. 12: In Roman Mythology, who was the messenger of the Gods?
A. 12: Mercury.
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Q. 13: When is the next leap year that will begin on a Friday?
A. 13: 2016. (It’s easier than you think, any leap year starting on Friday, January 1, should be divisible by 28, such as 1932, 1960, 1988, or 2044.
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Q. 14: What does a ‘dendrologist’ study?
a) Hair b) Trees c) Teeth d) Plants
A. 14: The correct answer is b) trees.
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Q. 15: What two famous Shakespearean characters appear in the phonetic alphabet? (A point for each one you name correctly.)
A. 15: Romeo and Juliet.
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Q. 16: Which is the largest planet in the solar system?
A. 16: Jupiter.
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Q. 17: Which English scientist discovered Sodium, Potassium, Barium, Calcium, Magnesium, and designed a famous lamp?
A. 17: Sir Humphrey Davy.
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Q. 18: Where would you find an ‘ISBN’ number?
A. 18: On a book.
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Q. 19: Which city was sacked by the Visigoths in 410 and the Vandals in 455?
A. 19: Rome.
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Q. 20: Who was going like ‘a bat out of hell’ in the late 1970s?
Well, apparently I was right, last week’s selection of questions that are worth asking, but nobody bothers to ask, weren’t life changing. But some people seemed to like them, so here is another batch for your consideration.
As usual, enjoy.
What can deaf people use instead of an Alarm Clock?
Why are Softballs hard?
Why aren’t Blueberry’s blue?
Do Butterfly’s make butter?
Does the Queen Bee have a King?
Can you carry a Kangaroo on your back?
Is a gold knife or fork still considered Silverware?
Why isn’t Chocolate considered a vegetable if it comes from Cocoa Beans?
What happens when you get ‘half scared to death’ twice?
Is it true cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
If all the world’s a stage, where does the audience sit?
Why are the alphabets in the order that they are? Is it because it’s a song?
If you write a book about failure, and it doesn’t sell, is it called success?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
Are the good things that come to people who wait, the leftovers of people who went before them?
Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?
Isn’t Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Why is Greenland called Greenland, when it’s white and covered with ice?
If something ‘goes without saying’, why do people still say it?
Today’s public figures can no longer
fasab 