Thinking Caps On Please – It’s Quiz Day!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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July is almost a week old and we haven’t had a quiz.

But we are about to rectify that right now.

Another twenty questions to wrap your brain around.

As usual, if you get stuck, you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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Quiz 9

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Q.  1.  What is the world’s biggest island?

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Q.  2.  In a speech on 5 March 1946 what did Winston Churchill say had descended over Europe?

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Q.  3.  What city is known as ‘The Pearl of the Adriatic’ ?

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Q.  4.  What is the official diameter of the center circle on a soccer pitch?

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Q.  5. What does the term ‘SAS’ refer to in terms of British Army Regiments?

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Q.  6.  What famous American painter and illustrator’s best-known works include the ‘Willie Gillis’ series, ‘Rosie the Riveter’, ‘The Problem We All Live With’, ‘Saying Grace’, and the ‘Four Freedoms’ series?

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Q.  7.  Where were the 2014 Winter Olympics held?

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Q.  8. Where will the 2016 Summer Olympics be held?

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Q.  9. Whose first novel was titled ‘Carrie’ ?

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Q. 10.  What was the name given to the prosperous peasants in Russia who were violently repressed by Stalin?

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Q. 11.  The famous ‘Stella Artois’ beer was originally brewed in which country?

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Q. 12.  After World War Two (WWII) ended into how many sectors was the city of Berlin divided? (A point for the correct answer and bonus points if you can correctly name the countries in charge of the sectors.)

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Q. 13.  What is the common name of the small piece of data sent from a website and stored in a user’s web browser?

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Q. 14.  In the well-known saying, what do ‘birds of a feather’ do?

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Q. 15.  What fruit is a cross between a grapefruit, tangerine and orange?

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Q. 16.  What is the name for the Eskimo people of Canada?

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Q. 17.  We all know to our cost about the recent ‘financial crisis’, but in what year was the infamous ‘Wall Street Crash’ ?

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Q. 18.  What are the two movies for which Jack Nicholson received the Best Actor Oscar?

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Q. 19.  What is ‘blood sausage’ better known as in places like the United Kingdom, Ireland, New Zealand and the Canadian provinces of Nova Scotia and Newfoundland and Labrador?

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Q. 20.  Who was ‘The Country Girl’ who after ‘High Noon’ went on to ‘Dial M for Murder’ and ‘To Catch a Thief’ before entering ‘High Society’ ?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1.  What is the world’s biggest island?

A.  1.  Greenland.

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Q.  2.  In a speech on 5 March 1946 what did Winston Churchill say had descended over Europe?

A.  2.  An Iron Curtain.

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Q.  3.  What city is known as ‘The Pearl of the Adriatic’ ?

 A.  3.  Dubrovnik, Croatia.

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Q.  4.  What is the official diameter of the center circle on a soccer pitch?

A.  4.  20 yards (18.3 metres).

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Q.  5. What does the term ‘SAS’ refer to in terms of British Army Regiments.

A.  5.  Special Air Service.

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Q.  6.  What famous American painter and illustrator’s best-known works include the ‘Willie Gillis’ series, ‘Rosie the Riveter’, ‘The Problem We All Live With’, ‘Saying Grace’, and the ‘Four Freedoms’ series

A.  6.  Norman Rockwell.

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Q.  7.  Where were the 2014 Winter Olympics held?

A.  7.  In Sochi, Russia.

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Q.  8. Where will the 2016 Summer Olympics be held?

A.  8.  The 2016 Summer Olympics, commonly known as Rio 2016, will be held in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

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Q.  9. Whose first novel was titled ‘Carrie’ ?

A.  9.  Stephen King.

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Q. 10.  What was the name given to the prosperous peasants in Russia who were violently repressed by Stalin?

A. 10.  Kulaks.

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Q. 11.  The famous ‘Stella Artois’ beer was originally brewed in which country?

A. 11.  Belgium.

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Q. 12.  After World War Two (WWII) ended into how many sectors was the city of Berlin divided? (A point for the correct answer and bonus points if you can correctly name the countries in charge of the sectors.)

A. 12.  There were four sectors, American, British, French and Soviet.

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Q. 13.  What is the common name of the small piece of data sent from a website and stored in a user’s web browser?

A. 13.  It is called a ‘cookie’.

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Q. 14.  In the well known saying, what do ‘birds of a feather’ do?

A. 14.  They ‘flock together’.

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Q. 15.  What fruit is a cross between a grapefruit, tangerine and orange?

A. 15.  The ‘Ugli fruit’.

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Q. 16.  What is the name for the Eskimo people of Canada?

A. 16.  They are known as ‘Iniut’.

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Q. 17.  We all know to our cost about the recent ‘financial crisis’, but in what year was the infamous ‘Wall Street Crash’ ?

A. 17.  1929.

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Q. 18.  What are the two movies for which Jack Nicholson received the Best Actor Oscar?

A. 18.  They were ‘One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest’ and ‘As Good As It Gets’.

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Q. 19.  What is ‘blood sausage’ better known as in places like the United Kingdom, Ireland, New Zealand and the Canadian provinces of Nova Scotia and Newfoundland and Labrador?

A. 19.  It is better known as ‘Black Pudding’.

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Q. 20.  Who was ‘The Country Girl’ who after ‘High Noon’ went on to ‘Dial M for Murder’ and ‘To Catch a Thief’ before entering ‘High Society’ ?

A. 20.  Grace Kelly.

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I’m Starting A One-Man Band – Email Me If You’re Interested.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to the last Pun Day….

Of this July that is, I hope you didn’t get your hopes up too high.

Anyway here are the latest offerings.

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

 

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This nice weather doesn’t fool me one bit.

It’s just a front.

warm front

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What do you call a couple

who go fishing together?

Rod and Annette.

Rod and Annette

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I hate jokes about Vietnam.

They really Hanoi me.

Hanoi map

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My new book about Poltergeists

is flying off the shelves.

Poltergeists

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I was touched by my Granddad

when I was a little boy.

His tear jerking tales of world war two

were simply heartbreaking.

Granddad

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I was telling the police officer

how local youths had thrown

a milk bottle at me and just missed.

He asked, “Skimmed past your face?”

I replied, “No, full fat over my shoulder.” 

milk

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‘My post box’

has got nine letters in it.

australia post box

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I told my fiancee and friends that I wanted

to racially segregate our wedding.

They didn’t really warm to it.

I was met with a mixed reception.

wedding reception

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Age isn’t

“just a number”

– it’s quite clearly a word

age

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People who confuse

the metaphorical and the factual

make my head literally explode.

head literally explode

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My girlfriend was disappointed when

I bought her New York flights for her birthday.

But not as disappointed as I was when

I found out she didn’t even play darts.

darts New York flights

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I’ve just stolen loads of swimming inflatables.

I’d better lilo.   

lilo

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I went to see my new doctor this morning about my piles.

He told me to drop my trousers and pants and bend over.

As I pulled my cheeks apart, he said,

“I’m going to need your whole name.”

I said, “I just call it my asshole.”

man with trousera down

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Gordon Ramsay reminds me of a newspaper.

Only with more headlines.

Gordon Ramsay headlines

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Time traveller’s convention next June.

I’m there.

Time traveller's convention

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Welcome To Another Quiz Day.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to another quiz day.

Twenty more random questions to test your brain.

As usual the answers can be found waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below,  but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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quiz 04

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Q.  1:  GEICO is a huge very well known auto insurance company, the second largest auto insurer in the United States, but what do the letters ‘G-E-I-C-O’ stand for?

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Q.  2:  On a NY license plate, is New York on the top or bottom?

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Q.  3:  In which ocean is the area known as Polynesia?

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Q.  4:  During World War Two what proportion of German soldiers who died were killed on the Eastern Front?

           a)  20%          b) 40%            c) 60%            d) 80%

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Q.  5:  Ernesto ‘Che’ Guevara, the revolutionary hero, took part in guerrilla wars in Cuba and was killed fighting Bolivian troops, but what nationality was he?

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Q.  6:  Whose high school nickname on the basketball team was “Barry O’Bomber”?

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Q.  7:  What is the infinity sign called?

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Q.  8:  How many sides are there on a standard pencil?

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Q.  9:  What is the only English word with five consecutive vowels?

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Q. 10:  Over 30 million people in the US and millions more in other countries “suffer” from Diastima. What is it?

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Q. 11:  What country leader’s name has become synonymous as a person who betrays his or her own country by aiding an invading enemy, often serving later in a puppet government or as a fifth columnist?

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Q. 12:  How did the famous ‘Tribeca’ area in Manhattan, New York get its name?

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Q. 13:  Who were the unlikely twins in the 1988 movie of that name? (A point for each correct answer.)

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Q. 14:  What mythological Greek god’s name was used in a famous disaster movie and its sequels and spin-offs?

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Q. 15:  What is the origin of the name ‘Jeep’?

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Q. 16:  Where does parma ham originate? (You need the name of BOTH the town and the country to score a point.)

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Q. 17:  Only two states’ names in the US begin with double consonants, a point for each one you name correctly.

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Q. 18:  The Terminator was sent from the future to kill who in the first of this series of movies?

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Q. 19:  What is the name of the highest military decoration awarded for valour “in the face of the enemy” to members of the armed forces of various Commonwealth countries, and previous British Empire territories?

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Q. 20:  What was it that The Beatles wanted to hold in 1964?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  GEICO is a huge very well known auto insurance company, the second largest auto insurer in the United States, but what do the letters ‘G-E-I-C-O’ stand for?

A.  1:  ‘GEICO’ stands for Government Employees Insurance Company.

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Q.  2:  On a NY license plate, is New York on the top or bottom?

A.  2:  It’s on the top.

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Q.  3:  In which ocean is the area known as Polynesia?

A.  3:  The Pacific Ocean.

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Q.  4:  During World War Two what proportion of German soldiers who died were killed on the Eastern Front?

           a)  20%          b) 40%            c) 60%            d) 80%

A.  4:  Answer d) 80%. For every five German soldiers who died in WWII, four of them died on the Eastern Front.

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Q.  5:  Ernesto ‘Che’ Guevara, the revolutionary hero, took part in guerrilla wars in Cuba and was killed fighting Bolivian troops, but what nationality was he?

A.  5:  He was Argentinean.

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Q.  6:  Whose high school nickname on the basketball team was “Barry O’Bomber”?

A.  6:  “Barry O’Bomber” was the high school nickname of a  fellow called Barrack Obama.

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Q.  7:  What is the infinity sign called?

A.  7:  The infinity sign is called a ‘lemniscate’.

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Q.  8:  How many sides are there on a standard pencil?

A.  8:  There are 6 sides on a standard pencil.

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Q.  9:  What is the only English word with five consecutive vowels?

A.  9:  “Queueing” is the only English word with five consecutive vowels.

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Q. 10:  Over 30 million people in the US and millions more in other countries “suffer” from Diastima. What is it?

A. 10:  Diastima is having a gap between your front teeth.

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Q. 11:  What country leader’s name has become synonymous as a person who betrays his or her own country by aiding an invading enemy, often serving later in a puppet government or as a fifth columnist?

A. 11:  Norweigan leader Vidkun Quisling collaborated with the invading German army during WWII. After the war he was put on trial and found guilty of embezzlement, murder and high treason and executed by firing squad at Akershus Fortress, Oslo, on 24 October 1945.

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Q. 12:  How did the famous ‘Tribeca’ area in Manhattan, New York get its name?

A. 12:  ‘Tribeca’ in Manhattan, New  York stands for TRIangle BElow CAnal street.

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Q. 13:  Who were the unlikely twins in the 1988 movie of that name? (A point for each correct answer.)

A. 13:  The twins in the movie ‘Twins’ were Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito.

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Q. 14:  What mythological Greek god’s name was used in a famous disaster movie and its sequels and spin-offs?

A. 14:  Poseidon, as in ‘The Poseidon Adventure’ (1972), ‘Beyond the Poseidon Adventure’ (1979), ‘The Poseidon Adventure’ (2005) (TV Movie), and ‘Poseidon’ (2006).

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Q. 15:  What is the origin of the name ‘Jeep’?

A. 15:  The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the “General Purpose” vehicle, G.P.

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Q. 16:  Where does parma ham originate? (You need the name of BOTH the town and the country to score a point.)

A. 16:  Parma, Italy.

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Q. 17:  Only two states’ names in the US begin with double consonants, a point for each one you name correctly.

A. 17:  The only two states’ names in the US that begin with double consonants are Florida and Rhode Island.

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Q. 18:  The Terminator was sent from the future to kill who in the first of this series of movies?

A. 18:  Sarah Connor.

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Q. 19:  What is the name of the highest military decoration awarded for valour “in the face of the enemy” to members of the armed forces of various Commonwealth countries, and previous British Empire territories?

A. 19:  The Victoria Cross.

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Q. 20:  What was it that The Beatles wanted to hold in 1964?

A. 20:  They wanted to hold ‘Your Hand’.

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Churchill’s Secret War – How The Pouter Was Born

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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“History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.”

Sir Winston Churchill

 

By and large the above statement is true. History does remember Sir Winston Churchill well. He was a remarkable war leader for Britain and indeed for the Allied nations throughout World War Two, and prior to and after the war years he had a remarkable political career.

Churchill was also an accomplished writer and historian, although he could afford a team of researchers to help him with his books. His multi-volume memoire of the war are remarkable and well worth a read for those interested in this period of history.  

Inevitably a lot of what went on during World War Two was of a top secret nature. These things covered a vast range of topics from spying and counter espionage, thru code-breaking and intelligence analysis, to developing a variety of gadgets that had the potential to be used for defense or as weapons against the enemy.

One of the groups involved in this work was given the nickname “Wheezers and Dodgers”.

They were commanded by a man named Goodeve, who was given to say to all new recruits something like, “You’ll have no set hours and no official leave. You will often be required to work all night as well as all day and seven days a week if necessary. You’ll see many secret documents. Don’t talk about what you see.”

One of their pressing tasks early in the war was to work on camouflage problems, because Goodeve had found, to his astonishment, that in spite of the increasing threat of German air power no serious attention had been paid to camouflage in the Royal Navy since the First World War.

His intervention led to a surprising incident.

One day into the department stamped an irate officer who introduced himself as Commander Pouter. Marching up to Goodeve, he said angrily, “What’s this I hear about your section meddling with camouflage?”

Goodeve told him that they were, “looking into it to see what can be done to make our ships less visible,” and that ” If no one studies these new conditions nothing will ever get done “

Pouter was one of those insufferable people who had no idea how stupid he was and who abused the positions he had been given by trying to control everything and stifle any outside input into his little empire, especially intelligent input. 

“I’ll have you know that I am entirely responsible for all Admiralty policy regarding camouflage” said pompous Pouter, “and that policy is that there shall be no camouflage . . . and no experiments either!”

Apparently startled by the outburst, it took Goodeve a few seconds to recover from this. As he got up to open the door for his visitor he turned to the others in the room saying, “Our way is now perfectly clear. You’re to go straight ahead with the experiments.”

Then addressing his remarks to Commander Pouter he said, a little brusquely, “Our report will go to the First Sea Lord. If you wish I will send you a copy.”

 

This story highlights yet again that if an idiot is put in charge very little, if anything, productive will get done. But it is interesting for a reason other than that.

This confrontation also led to the coining in the department of a new term for the measurement of the Unit of Obstruction. This unit became known as the ‘Pouter’.

However, on further reflection, this unit seemed altogether too large to have any application inside the Admiralty, since it was fervently hoped that this degree of obstruction would rarely occur.

So the term ‘micro-pouter’ was introduced and has been used ever since to assess all such absurdities. Such was its popularity that its use spread to other parts of the military and even further afield. 

Sometimes idiots get the fame they crave, but for entirely the wrong reason.