Would You Take The Bubble Baba Challenge?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

We’ll find out later whether or not you would take the Bubble Baba Challenge.

In the meantime have a look at this week’s selection of facts.

Enjoy.

.

facts 02

.

Harry Potter shares the same birth day

as his creator J K Rowling,

his is July 31, 1980 and

Rowling’s July 31, 1966.

Harry Potter

.

.

A Yew tree located in the churchyard of

the village of Fortingall in Perthshire, Scotland,

is estimated to be 3,000 – 5,000 years old

which many believe makes it Europe´s oldest tree.

With its massive trunk of 52 feet (16 meters) in diameter,

the yew is still in good health and may last for many more centuries.

Yew tree located in the churchyard of the village of Fortingall in Perthshire, Scotland

.

Thames Town is a little town situated in the heart of China

that is an imitation of a classic British city

with traditional English architecture, cuisine,

and even those classic red phone booths

we all identify with London.

Thames Town, China

.

Still in China, “The Great Wall of China”

did not get that official name

until the end of the 19th Century.

Previously it had been known by names

such as “barrier”, “rampart”, “fortress”,  

“Purple Frontier” or “Earth Dragon”.

The Great Wall of China 5

.

The United States has had some remarkable successes

in the field of space flight and exploration.

However it wasn’t always that way.

The very first time they tried to launch a satellite into orbit,

on December 6, 1957 (Vanguard TV3),

the rocket lost thrust only 4 feet (1.2 m) above the launch pad

and fell back to the ground, its fuel tanks

rupturing and creating a massive fireball,

damaging the launch pad and destroying the rocket.

Due to limited data measurement methods in these early days,

though, the cause was never fully determined.

Vanguard TV3 failed launch

.

If you like Vodka then look out for a bottle of

“The Billionare Vodka“,

the world´s most expensive vodka.

It is first ice-filtered, then filtered through

Nordic birch charcoal and lastly passed

through sand made from crushed diamonds and gems.

It is sold in a platinum and rhodium encased,

diamond encrusted crystal bottle and

will set you back only $3.75 million dollars.

Cheers!

The Billionare Vodka

.

No more time in the joint for smoking a joint,

at least not in the U.S. state of Washington,

the first state to officially legalize cannabis

in a state law in December 2012,

with the state of Colorado following close behind.

DC-US-Statue-Liberty-Smoking-Joint

.

Ant queens can live for up to 30 years,

about 100 times longer than solitary insects of a similar size.

Workers live from 1 to 3 years.

Ant queen

.

Eight US Presidents were born British subjects:

Washington, J. Adams, Jefferson, Madison,

Monroe, J. Q. Adams, Jackson, and W. Harrison.

Washington, J. Adams, Jefferson, Madison, Monroe, J. Q. Adams

.

Jim the horse, a former milk wagon horse,

was responsible for curing diphtheria.

He was infected with diphtheria

but unlike other animals he didn’t die.

Doctors found that Jim’s immune system

was able to create antibodies to fight the disease

and this allowed doctors to make a serum for humans,

with great success, helping to save the lives

of millions of humans and animals around the world.

Jim the horse

.

Al ‘Wallpaper’ Wolff is best remembered

as having been the last surviving member

of the group of eleven federal law-enforcement agents,

led by Eliot Ness, known as the Untouchables.

Wolff was the fearless agent and a ferocious

persecutor of those who obtained illegal alcohol.

Strangely, once he retired from law enforcement

and alcohol was legal he got involved in

the cocktail lounge business in Chicago.

He died in March 1998 at the age of 95.

Al 'Wallpaper' Wolff

.

In 1827, world famous author Edgar Allan Poe

enlisted in the United States Army

using the false name “Edgar A. Perry”.

He claimed to be 22 years old

even though he was just 18.

Edgar Allan Poe young

.

James Dean’s silver Porsche 550 Spyder,

the car he died in following an accident in 1955,

was known as the “Little Bastard”

and said to be cursed.

After it was sold for parts,

the car fell and crushed a mechanic’s legs;

later, a doctor who bought the car’s engine

was killed in a car accident;

another victim who bought the transmission

was severely injured in a crash;

the tires sold from Little Bastard

blew out simultaneously,

sending their buyer to the hospital;

and lastly a truck carrying the car’s shell crashed,

killing the driver.

Hmmmm….

James Dean’s silver Porsche 550 Spyder

.

The Bird´s Nest Restaurant, located in

the Soneva Kiri Eco Resort in Thailand,

gives the customers privacy,

as well as the unique opportunity to

admire spectacular views while dining.

Tree nests hang 16 feet above the ground

and are served by waiters who use a zip line

to deliver the food and drinks.

A typical dinner for two costs about $450.

Birds-Nest-Restaurant-01

.

Finally, time for those of a nervous disposition to look away.

Officially known as the “Bubble Baba Challenge”,

this is an unusual (to say the least) sporting event

where participants float down a river

embracing a rubber woman.

The idea was apparently dreamt up

by a Russian, Dmitry Bulawinov,

initially as a joke at a party

where the men got drunk! 

(It could have been worse!)

.

.

=========================================

.

First Day Of The Month, First Quiz Of The Month.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Welcome to December at the fasab blog.

We are into the last month of the year – where did the other eleven go? should be one of today’s questions perhaps.

But of course it isn’t. Instead you have the usual random selection, a few easy ones and a few quite difficult, with some more that lie between the two extremes.

As usual, if you get stuck, you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

.

quiz 06

.

Q.  1:  How many quarts are there in a gallon?

.

.

Q.  2:  Which element is used to treat indigestion and stomach acidity?

.

.

Q.  3:  We all know that diamonds and precious gems are measured in carats, but one carat is the equivalent of how many milligrams?

            a)  100            b)  200            c)  300            d)  400            e)  500

.

.

Q.  4:  What is the unit used to measure the thickness of silk or nylon?

.

.

Q.  5:  In Physics, mass divided by volume is the formula for what?

.

.

Q.  6:  If you subtracted the number of square yards in an acre from the number of square meters in a hectare, what number would you be left with?

.

.

Q.  7:  You’ve seen them on TV and in the movies, what is the more common name for a ‘Polygraph’?

.

.

Q.  8:  Which is the world’s largest lizard?

.

.

Q.  9:  What does the abbreviation ‘PVC’ stand for?

.

.

Q. 10:  What is the name of the medical oath taken by doctors?

.

.

Q. 11:  From which trees do conkers come?

.

.

Q. 12:  What is a Barracuda?

.

.

Q. 13:  In human Biology what is a unit of inherited material that contains a particular characteristic?

.

.

Q. 14:  A ‘Piebald’ horse consists of which two colors?

.

.

Q. 15:  What is 70% of 70?

.

.

Q. 16:  What is the first month of the year to have 31 days that follows another month of 31 days?

.

.

Q. 17:  In 1884, what was invented by Lewis Waterman?

.

.

Q. 18:  If I was your age ten years before you were born and I’m 50, how old are you?

.

.

Q. 19:  What sits on a ‘dolly’ in a television studio?

.

.

Q. 20:  Stewart Copeland was the drummer with which band?

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

ANSWERS

.

Q.  1:  How many quarts are there in a gallon?

A.  1:  4.

.

.

Q.  2:  Which element is used to treat indigestion and stomach acidity?

A.  2:  Magnesium.

.

.

Q.  3:  We all know that diamonds and precious gems are measured in carats, but one carat is the equivalent of how many milligrams?

            a)  100            b)  200            c)  300            d)  400            e)  500

A.  3:  The correct answer is b)  200.

.

.

Q.  4:  What is the unit used to measure the thickness of silk or nylon?

A.  4:  Denier.

.

.

Q.  5:  In Physics, mass divided by volume is the formula for what?

A.  5:  Density.

.

.

Q.  6:  If you subtracted the number of square yards in an acre from the number of square meters in a hectare, what number would you be left with?

A.  6:  5,160  (there are 10,000 square meters in a hectare and 4,840 square yards in an acre, so your calculation should be 10,000 – 4840 = 5,160 )

.

.

Q.  7:  You’ve seen them on TV and in the movies, what is the more common name for a ‘Polygraph’?

A.  7:  A lie detector.

.

.

Q.  8:  Which is the world’s largest lizard?

A.  8:  The Komodo Dragon, found in the Indonesian islands of Komodo, Rinca, Flores, Gili Motang, and Padar.

.

.

Q.  9:  What does the abbreviation ‘PVC’ stand for?

A.  9:  Polyvinylchloride.

.

.

Q. 10:  What is the name of the medical oath taken by doctors?

A. 10:  Hippocratic oath.

.

.

Q. 11:  From which trees do conkers come?

A. 11:  Horse Chestnut.

.

.

Q. 12:  What is a Barracuda?

A. 12:  It is the name of the ferocious fish, shaped like a torpedo which is found in warm seas and is closely related to the sea-perch, although you get the point if you just said ‘fish’.

.

.

Q. 13:  In human Biology what is a unit of inherited material that contains a particular characteristic?

A. 13:  A ‘Gene’.

.

.

Q. 14:  A ‘Piebald’ horse consists of which two colors?

A. 14:  Black and White.

.

.

Q. 15:  What is 70% of 70?

A. 15:  49.

.

.

Q. 16:  What is the first month of the year to have 31 days that follows another month of 31 days?

A. 16:  August.

.

.

Q. 17:  In 1884, what was invented by Lewis Waterman?

A. 17:  The Fountain Pen.  Established in 1884 in New York City by Lewis Edson Waterman, the Waterman pen company is still a major manufacturer of luxury fountain pens, in fact it is one of the few remaining first-generation fountain pen companies.

.

.

Q. 18:  If I was your age ten years before you were born and I’m 50, how old are you?

A. 18:  You would be 20.

.

.

Q. 19:  What sits on a ‘dolly’ in a television studio?

A. 19:  A camera.

.

.

Q. 20:  Stewart Copeland was the drummer with which band?

A. 20:  The Police.

.

.

==========================================

.

Did You Know? – Another Round Of Fabulous Facts!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Another random bunch of facts for you today.

I think I prefer the final one the best because of its irony and the fact that it illustrates that people can sometimes delude and convince themselves into believing they saw what the really didn’t.

Anyway, here they are, so choose your own favorite, but whatever you do….

Enjoy.

.

facts 02

.

The US Constitution contains many

spelling and grammatical errors.

american-constitution

.

.

The term ‘Lunatic’ is derived from the Latin word ‘luna’ meaning ‘moon’.

It originated from the belief that insanity is caused by changes in the moon.

Lunatic

.

.

Thirty-three light years away there is an

exoplanet completely covered in burning ice.

burning ice

.

.

James Stephen “Steve” Fossett was an American businessman,

and a record-setting aviator, sailor, and adventurer

who, in 2002, became the first person to

fly solo nonstop around the world in a balloon.

Steve Fossett

.

.

At its peak the Roman Empire

stretched for 2.51 million square miles,

but it was only the 19th largest empire in history.

Roman_Empire_Map

.

.

Throughout the 1800s people were buried alive so often

that coffins included mechanisms to allow those people

to ring a bell in the graveyard.

people were buried alive so often that coffins included mechanisms to allow those people to ring a bell in the graveyard

.

.

Homer and Langley Collyer, two compulsive hoarders,

were found buried beneath a collapsed pile of

the things they had stored in their house over the years.

Homer and Langley Collyer house

.

.

The last time a cavalry charge was used on the battlefield

was during WWII when a Mongolian cavalry division

charged a German infantry division.

Two thousand Mongolians were killed

and not a single German died.

Mongolian cavalry division

.

.

In ancient Egypt some servants were covered in honey

to attract flies away from the pharaoh.

(I suppose it’s better than the alternative!)

servants were covered in honey to attract flies away from the pharaoh

.

.

June 28, 2014 was the 100 year anniversary of the assassination

of Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria,

heir to the Austro-Hungarian throne,

who was killed in Sarajevo along with his wife Duchess Sophie

by Bosnian Serb Gavrilo Princip.

This was the incident that led to the Great War,

also now known as World War I.

assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria

.

.

Although several notable people died on the toilet,

one of the most famous is probably Elvis Presley.

Doctors attributed his death to too many prescription drugs.

elvis-presley-s-toilet

.

.

When pizza deliveryman Brian Wells

was stopped by the police in the middle of a bank robbery

no one believed his story that he had been forced to do it

by some people he had delivered pizza to.

He kept on pleading with the officers saying that

the necklace he was wearing was a bomb.

Unfortunately for him though,

the bomb squad didn’t show up early enough.

pizza deliveryman Brian Wells

.

.

Almost one-seventh (840) of all the languages on Earth

are spoken in one country…

Papua New Guinea.

map_of_papua-new-guinea

.

.

When it was first built,

Disney’s Tomorrowland

was supposed to represent

the far off future year of 1986.

Tomorrowland_Disneyland

.

.

A famous proponent of healthy eating and organic farming,

Jerome Irving Rodale died of a heart attack

while being interviewed on the Dick Cavett Show in 1971.

Some of his last words were that [he] would

“live to 100, unless [he was] run down by a a sugar-crazy taxi driver”.

Appearing fast asleep during the show, Dick Cavett joked

“Are we boring you, Mr. Rodale?”

before discovering that his 72-year-old guest had indeed died.

Many people are convinced they saw this on TV

but the incident was never aired.

.

.

===============================================

.

Did You Know? The Fact File Is Open Again.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Yes, the fact file is open again.

Another random selection covering science, music, history, archaeology, nature and even brain surgery!

Enjoy.

.

did you know5

.

Women blink twice as much as men.

Women blink twice as much as men

.

.

Picking up baby birds and returning them to their nests

will not cause their mothers to reject them.

baby bird

.

.

It takes food approximately seven seconds

to get from your mouth to your stomach.

mouth to your stomach

.

.

The brain has no pain receptors so it doesn’t feel anything.

This is why doctors are able to perform open brain surgery

on patients that are still awake.

Hannibal Lecter brain

.

.

But brain surgery is not something new.

In the past some cultures practiced “trepanation”,

or the act of drilling holes in the brain

to alleviate pain and cure sickness.

trepanation

.

.

More than 5 million people live in areas

that are considered to be “contaminated”

with radioactive material from the Chernobyl disaster.

Chernobyl disaster

.

.

The body of the last English King to die in battle, Richard III,

was finally found buried under a Leicester car park

in what was one of the most astonishing

archaeological discoveries of the last few decades.

Richard III grave found in Leicester carpark

.

.

The Chinese government

attempted to crack down on gift giving

by banning certain luxury commercials.

The economy immediately started falling.

Chinese government

.

.

Disney Park employees are required to point

with either the whole hand or using two fingers.

This is because some cultures see pointing

with one finger as disrespectful

Disney two finger point

.

.

Dropping a penny from the top of the

Empire State Building would not kill someone

Dropping a penny from the top of the Empire State Building

.

.

Lemur comes from a Latin word that means

“spirit of the dead”.

The person that named them cited their

nocturnal nature as a source of influence.

Lemur

.

.

For many years scientists couldn’t figure out

how the Earth’s solid inner core spins one way

and the liquid outer core spins the other.

Scientists at Leeds University recently found

that the answer lies in a simple “equal and opposite” reaction

based around Earth’s magnetic fields.

Earth’s solid inner core spins one way and the liquid outer core spins the other

.

.

The word “Addict” comes from ancient Rome

when soldiers were awarded slaves known as “addicts”,

which is the Latin word for slave.

It eventually came to refer to a person

who was a slave to anyone or anything.

Addict

.

.

Air Force One is not the name of a specific plane,

but the name of any plane carrying the president.

Air Force One

.

.

The Beatles still hold the record for the

most number-one singles in the Billboard Charts.

They had twenty in all

and their biggest seller was “Hey Jude”.

.

.

==========================================

.

Did You Know? It’s Fascinating Fact day.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

It’s another “Did You Know” day on the fasab blog.

More random facts to get your head around.

Enjoy.

.

did you know4

.

The first Dunkin Donuts and the first Howard Johnson’s

were both in Quincy, Massachusetts.

Dunkin Donuts

.

.

The Pennsylvania Dutch are not really Dutch.

They are a people of German ancestry living in

southeastern Pennsylvania, primarily in Lancaster County.

“German” in German is “Deutsch.”

Pennsylvania Dutch

.

.

The Gateway Arch in St. Louis

is as wide at its base as it is tall (630 feet).

Gateway Arch dimensions

.

.

Ohio State offers a course called “Sports for the Spectator.”

Students are taught how to be

“an informed and appreciative sports spectator.”

obama-ohio-state-2

.

.

Telephone cards first took off in Hawaii,

since long-distance charges from the far-flung state

were higher than anywhere else in the country.

prepaid-phone-cards

.

.

What day were you born on?

Apparently Tuesday is the most popular day of the week for giving birth,

a fact that has nothing to do with Nature

and everything to do with hospital staffing;

elective C-sections and induced labors

are often scheduled during traditional working hours.

Calendar

.

.

The majority of the text in the Monroe Doctrine

was actually penned by John Quincy Adams.

The Monroe Doctrine

.

.

Despite its reputation as a cosmonaut staple,

freeze-dried ice cream only made one mission to space.

In 1968, it provided instant sugar rushes to the astronauts of Apollo 7.

astronaut_icecream

.

.

In car design circles, a hood ornament is properly called a “mascot.”

The first American automobile to sport a mascot was the 1912 Cadillac.

1912_Cadillac

.

.

Albert Einstein never received a Nobel Prize

for his theory of relativity.

Pigeon Books Albert Einstein Relativity

.

.

On November 18th, 1913, pilot Lincoln Beachey was the

first person to make a complete loop-de-loop in an airplane.

Lincoln_Beachey_in_his_plane

.

.

The first man to appear on the cover of Playboy

was the actor Peter Sellers.

sellers_playboy_cover_april_64

.

.

West Virginia is no longer the coal-mining capital of the U.S.,

nine of the ten top-producing coal mines are currently located in Wyoming.

open cast coal mine

.

.

The popular game Bingo was originally called “Beano”

because players used beans to cover the numbered squares.

Bingo

.

.

Cruise control and automatic transmissions were invented

by a blind engineer named Ralph Teetor.

Ralph Teetor

.

.

Modern scholars believe that Jericho,

settled around 10,000 years ago,

was the first walled city in the world.

jericho_walls_wide_view

.

.

The human bone most often broken is the clavicle (collar bone).

clavicle

.

.

Swearing to tell

“the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth”

dates back to English Common Law.

Interestingly enough, there were no penalties for perjury until the 1600s;

prior to that time, it was believed that the fear of God’s wrath

was enough to keep witnesses honest.

The truth the whole truth

.

.

According to doctors, humans have an average

of 14 episodes of flatulence per day.

(I always knew I was above average!)

humorous-fish-farting-animation-flatulence-comedy-animated-picture

.

.

The Harlem Globetotters were originally a Chicago based team (1927).

They did not play a game in Harlem until the 1960s.

.

.

=======================================

.

Did You Know? Another Rummage Through The Fasab Fact Files

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Hello again and welcome to another rummage through the fasab fact files.

As random as ever, this selection covers many centuries and many countries so you should find something of interest.

Enjoy.

.

Did You Know 4

. 

1 in 5 of the world’s doctors are Russian.

RAMA

.

The Nullarbor Plain of Australia covers

100,000 square miles (160,900 km) without a tree.

Nullarbor_plain

.

In 1933, Mickey Mouse, an animated cartoon character,

received 800,000 fan letters.

Mickey Mouse

.

. 

Nerve impulses to and from the brain

travel as fast as 170 miles (274 km) per hour.

neurons-120208

.

.

Ancient Egyptians shaved off their eyebrows

to mourn the deaths of their cats.

egypt

.

. 

Canadian researchers have found that

Einstein’s brain was 15% wider than normal.

brain_jar

.

Isaac Asimov is the only author

to have a book in every Dewey-decimal category.

IsaacAsimov

.

The shortest British monarch was Charles I,

who was 4 feet 9 inches.

King_Charles_I_by_Antoon_van_Dyck

.

Sigmund Freud had a morbid fear of ferns.

(Something to do with his mother no doubt!)

sigmund-freud

.

Camels chew in a figure 8 pattern.

camel-chewing-cud

.

In space, astronauts cannot cry,

because there is no gravity,

so the tears can’t flow.

.

. 

There are 1,792 steps in the Eiffel Tower

 Eiffel Tower

.

.

A silicon chip a quarter inch square

has the capacity of the original 1949 ENIAC computer,

which occupied a city block.

Silicon chip

.

. 

About a third of all Americans flush the toilet

while they’re still sitting on it.

 woman-sitting-on-toilet

.

.

Actor Tommy Lee Jones and vice president Al Gore

were freshman roommates at Harvard.

 Tommy Lee Jones and Al Gore college shot

.

.

In eighteenth century England,

women’s wigs were sometimes 4 feet high.

These remarkable headdresses were dusted with flour

and decorated with stuffed birds, replicas of gardens,

plates of fruit, or even model ships.

 18th Century hairstyles

.

.

In 1976 a Los Angeles secretary named Jannene Swift

officially married a 50 pound rock.

The ceremony was witnessed by more than 20 people.

Woman marries rock

.

In Tokyo, they sell toupees for dogs.

dogs-with-toupees

.

John has a long moustache was the coded signal

used by the French Resistance in WWII

.

.

================================

.

Did They Really Mean To Say That? Newspaper Headlines Nightmares, Part Three!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Another mid-week selection of linguistic catastrophes in the form of newspaper headlines that went sadly wrong.

I bet the authors were congratulating themselves when they wrote them on how clever they had been.

Sorry (at them), but hurrah to us, they had quite the opposite result.

Enjoy.

.

.

np_dianastillalive

.

.

.

np_drycleanersworkingonsamespotforyears

.

.

.

np_dwis

.

.

.

np_federalagents

.

.

.

np_firmlosesairport

.

.

.

np_fishneedwater

.

.

.

np_funeralhomesbring

.

.

.

np_gascompanybehindbeans

.

.

.

np_helppeoplewithgas

.

.

.

np_homocidevictims

.

.

.

np_hospitalshiredoctors

.

.

.

np_housearrest

.

.

.

np_Kayakinghardwithfrozenwater

.

.

.

np_lawyersback

.

.

===============================================

.

Jobs Blow For Sex Workers

 “Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Thought it was safe?

Sorry, pun day again folks.

Enjoy!

.

. 

Deja Moo:

The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.

deja-moo

.

I’m not a complete idiot

Some parts are just missing.

I'm not a complete idiot

.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

gene pool could use a little chlorine

.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Old Coots Hangover The Wrath Of Grapes

.

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:

“A beer please, and one for the road.”

One-for-the-road

.

Did you hear about the butcher backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.

a little behind in his work

.

She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg,

but broke it off.

boyfriend with a wooden leg

.

Without geometry, life is pointless.

without geometry

.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Baker_Kneading_Dough

.

I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

blanket-blanket-factory-folded-pun

.

. 

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

cartoon_condom

.

Dockyard:

A physician’s garden.

physician's garden

.

A guy was confused about why the doctors had amputated his arms and legs.

In fact he was stumped.

amputated his arms

.

A man wakes up on a deserted island

only to find that the sun, sand and sea are all purple.

He cried: “Oh no, I’ve been marooned!”

marooned

.

Men need to stop telling jokes about women’s menstrual cycle!

Period.

women's menstrual cycle

.

My girlfriend said that she’s leaving me,

because of my constant grass related puns.

I told her to sod off.

sod

.

My wife gave me a lecture about

my obsession with mythical creature puns.

It didn’t half Dragon.

dragon

.

A nine-year-old lad walks into a pub and yells at the barmaid for a Scotch on the rocks.

‘Do you want to get me into trouble?’ she replies.

‘Maybe later,’ says the boy, ‘but now I just want a drink’.

. 

================================

.

The Weirdest Of Coincidences

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

The hospital was just like any other.

It had accident and emergency, medical, surgical and all the other usual departments and wards. It also had an Intensive Care Unit, well staffed and managed, just like any other.

Except that this Intensive Care Unit wasn’t just like any other. Patients kept dying in this unit.

Not only that, but they always died in the same bed, and at the same time, on Sunday mornings at about 11:00 am, regardless of their medical condition. 

It had been that way for a while and doctors, nurses and the hospital management were not only puzzled, but rather nervous too.

What could possibly be the reason? The laws of probability made this occurrence way more than one in a million.

Some even thought it had to have something to do with the super natural.

Had something terrible happened in that ward sometime in the past?

Was the hospital built on the site of some awful tragedy that had taken place years ago?

Was there some kind of portal to another dimension where evil entities could enter and leave?

There were many more questions than answers, but no one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths always occurred in the same bed and around the same time, 11:00 am Sunday.

Eventually a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. It included scientists, medical experts, a crew with electronic detection equipment, several clergymen  and even a medium. 

They were prepared for anything and everything.

Or so they thought.

The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 am all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited with the team of experts outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. 

Some were holding wooden crosses, others prayer books and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits. 

Then, just when the clock struck 11:00 am, the ward door suddenly burst open.

The crowd of watchers gasped.

Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward.

He walked over to the wall beside the offending bed, unplugged the life support system and plugged in his vacuum cleaner.

Turns out the culprit was Pookie and not a spookie after all.

.

The hospital cleaner

=============================

.

It’s Thursday And That Means Another Excuse For A Few More Bad Jokes

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Yes, it’s Thursday and that means another excuse for a few more bad jokes in the shape of the word plays called puns.

Enjoy!

.

Organ donors put their heart into it.
..

Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.
..

A hungry traveler stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens.
A brother is frying chips.
‘Are you the friar?’ he asks.
‘No. I’m the chip monk,’ he replies.
..

Why does the coffee taste like mud?
Because it was ground a couple of minutes ago.
..

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
..

I could not pull out of my parking space, so I used my back up plan.
..

I relish the fact that you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
..

The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out.
..

To some – marriage is a word … to others – a sentence.
..

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a
weapon of math disruption.
..

The man who worked at the watch factory was very funny.
He stood about all day making faces.
..

I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak.
..

Experts say the cost of funerals have risen by 50%,
they blame it on the cost of living.
..

Cartoonist found dead in home.
Details are sketchy.
..

Old doctors never die they just lose their patience.
..

I saw a beaver movie last night, it was the best dam movie I’ve ever seen.
..

Did you hear about the electrician who claimed that his truck was a volts wagon.

..

===========================================