He’s Back …… I Think.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

putin

It seems that after a mysterious disappearance from public view for the past eleven days or so, Vladimir Putin has re-emerged.

Over the past week and more there was a frenzy of speculation as to why he was nowhere to be seen and what had happened to him. His absence was significant, that much was agreed, but nobody knew why he had disappeared.

One of Putin’s former advisors, Andrei Illarionov, who has become one of his strongest critics of late, was quick off the mark to say Putin had been toppled in a backstage coup.

Many, well-connected in Russian matters, speculated that there was a full-scale Kremlin power struggle under way.

Other rumors quickly followed.

General Viktor Zolotov, Putin’s long-time bodyguard, was said to be dead. This was confirmed and denied and confirmed and denied, etc.,

Another of Putin’s top allies, Vladislav Surkov, was speculated to have fled to Hong Kong with his family.

The questions from the media and on the internet were also many and varied.

Had there been some kind of retaliation for the recent murder of opposition leader and former first deputy prime minister, Boris Nemtsov?

Would there be more bloodshed?

Was a coup under way in Russia?

Was Putin finished?

Was he perhaps unwell, which I suppose could be taken as a sign of weakness and spur on those who wished to topple him?

Was he in Switzerland celebrating the birth of a child by his secret lover, the gymnast Alina Kabaeva?

Would he re-appear soon, shirtless, macho and galloping on a horse to show everyone he is still a force to be reckoned with?

Or was the whole thing just a distraction from the murder of Nemtsov and the war in Ukraine?

putin_shirtless_on_horse

The Kremlin, on the other hand, wasn’t asking any questions. It dismissed all such rumors and insisted that nothing was wrong with either Putin or his regime, apart from maybe a dose of the flu.

There is no doubt that, for all his political savvy, Putin has managed to get himself stuck between the proverbial rock and a hard place. He made his reputation by winning the war in Chechnya, and he cannot afford to cross the Chechen leader Ramzan Kadyrov. At the same time he cannot side against the politicians from the security or military services, often the officers of the former KGB, GRU, FSB, and all that, who came into power with him.

As usual, of course, most commentators missed the main question, which was apart from all the usual faffing around, ‘how should we react if such a thing were really to happen’?

Here in the West we, (including those in the intelligence community who are supposed to know about these things and brief world leaders like President Obama), don’t have much of a clue about Kremlin politics. You can be almost certain therefore that, if anything were ever to really happen to Putin, the danger is that the West would respond in entirely the wrong way.

A new Russian leader would be greeted by America and its allies as a more predictable and easier to deal with partner than Putin. But that is forgetting one crucial element. All Russian leaders are tough. Not just Putin. And the person who had the steel to oust someone of Putin’s caliber would have to himself be a very hard man and a shrewd operator.

More significantly, he would have to quickly stamp his authority and hold on power in Russia. The quickest and easiest way of doing that would be with more repression of opposition factions in Russia itself and with more flexing of Russia’s considerable muscles abroad, particularly in the Crimea and the Ukraine.

That would be a real puzzler for Obama, were it to happen during his last few months in office. And a defining moment for his successor.

Sometimes the devil you know is easier to deal with than one you don’t.

putin devil

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Did You Know? It’s Fascinating Fact day.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It’s another “Did You Know” day on the fasab blog.

More random facts to get your head around.

Enjoy.

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did you know4

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The first Dunkin Donuts and the first Howard Johnson’s

were both in Quincy, Massachusetts.

Dunkin Donuts

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The Pennsylvania Dutch are not really Dutch.

They are a people of German ancestry living in

southeastern Pennsylvania, primarily in Lancaster County.

“German” in German is “Deutsch.”

Pennsylvania Dutch

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The Gateway Arch in St. Louis

is as wide at its base as it is tall (630 feet).

Gateway Arch dimensions

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Ohio State offers a course called “Sports for the Spectator.”

Students are taught how to be

“an informed and appreciative sports spectator.”

obama-ohio-state-2

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Telephone cards first took off in Hawaii,

since long-distance charges from the far-flung state

were higher than anywhere else in the country.

prepaid-phone-cards

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What day were you born on?

Apparently Tuesday is the most popular day of the week for giving birth,

a fact that has nothing to do with Nature

and everything to do with hospital staffing;

elective C-sections and induced labors

are often scheduled during traditional working hours.

Calendar

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The majority of the text in the Monroe Doctrine

was actually penned by John Quincy Adams.

The Monroe Doctrine

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Despite its reputation as a cosmonaut staple,

freeze-dried ice cream only made one mission to space.

In 1968, it provided instant sugar rushes to the astronauts of Apollo 7.

astronaut_icecream

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In car design circles, a hood ornament is properly called a “mascot.”

The first American automobile to sport a mascot was the 1912 Cadillac.

1912_Cadillac

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Albert Einstein never received a Nobel Prize

for his theory of relativity.

Pigeon Books Albert Einstein Relativity

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On November 18th, 1913, pilot Lincoln Beachey was the

first person to make a complete loop-de-loop in an airplane.

Lincoln_Beachey_in_his_plane

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The first man to appear on the cover of Playboy

was the actor Peter Sellers.

sellers_playboy_cover_april_64

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West Virginia is no longer the coal-mining capital of the U.S.,

nine of the ten top-producing coal mines are currently located in Wyoming.

open cast coal mine

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The popular game Bingo was originally called “Beano”

because players used beans to cover the numbered squares.

Bingo

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Cruise control and automatic transmissions were invented

by a blind engineer named Ralph Teetor.

Ralph Teetor

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Modern scholars believe that Jericho,

settled around 10,000 years ago,

was the first walled city in the world.

jericho_walls_wide_view

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The human bone most often broken is the clavicle (collar bone).

clavicle

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Swearing to tell

“the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth”

dates back to English Common Law.

Interestingly enough, there were no penalties for perjury until the 1600s;

prior to that time, it was believed that the fear of God’s wrath

was enough to keep witnesses honest.

The truth the whole truth

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According to doctors, humans have an average

of 14 episodes of flatulence per day.

(I always knew I was above average!)

humorous-fish-farting-animation-flatulence-comedy-animated-picture

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The Harlem Globetotters were originally a Chicago based team (1927).

They did not play a game in Harlem until the 1960s.

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Clones Are People Two.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Great news today!

The September puns start here.

I know you will, but I’ll say it anyway.

Enjoy!

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My son broke his Apple computer today and

had the audacity to ask me to buy him a new one.

I just told him, “Apples don’t grow on trees you know!”

pun apple tree

 

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I didn’t hear the sea when I held a Shell up.

I did, however, get six years in jail

for armed robbery of a gas station.

pun shell gas station

 

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NBC have commissioned my new show about

what goes on inside an airplane cockpit.

We’re filming the pilot next week.

pun pilot

 

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A man walks into a library and says

“I hope you don’t have a book on reverse psychology.”

pun reverse-psychology1

 

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People used to tell me being blind would

hinder my chances of becoming a comedian.

Who’s laughing now?

pun blind-turkey-farmer

 

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My cheating ex-girlfriend was called Tulsa.

Looking back, she was aslut.

pun tulsa aslut

 

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My friend recently moved in with his girlfriend

and her massive magazine collection.

But when she refused to part with them he left her.

Apparently she had too many issues.

pun too many issues

 

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I’m not worried about the Third World War.

That’s the Third World’s Problem.

pun Third World

 

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I have got a bit of a reputation as a ladies man in my local bar.

All I can say is, they smell so much cleaner than the gents.

pun toilet-cologne-stadium

 

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Some guy broke into my house last night.

Thankfully the only thing he took was one of my bullets.

pun santa-burglar

 

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My father’s answer to everything was alcohol.

He didn’t drink, he was just bad at quizzes.

pun simpsonsgood46

 

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I recently went on a holiday to a place called Romania.

It was useless; no one was even rowing.

pun rowing

 

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A guy I know has invented a new hobby

called “blindfold plane watching”.

Can’t see it taking off.

pun blindfolded

 

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I was watching a DVD on my laptop when I thought,

“Maybe it would be better if I put it in.”

pun laptop-with-open-dvd-tray-and-usb-flash-drive

 

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My wife told me she was absolutely fed up with the world.

“Why?” I asked

“Arrogant people like you!” she screamed back.

I said “Yeah they do, don’t they?”

pun cocksure

 

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Someone has been pretending to be Mr T by using a similar name,

but no-one knows his real identity.

It’s a Mr E.

pun mr t

 

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I’m reading a book about the Titanic at the moment,

and the experts speculate that the designer of the Titanic had a lisp.

That’s unthinkable!

pun titanic

 

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I went to the shop and said, “I need a battery so I can tell the time.”

The man said, “Is it for a clock?”

I said, “How do I know, that’s why I asked you for a battery.”

pun cartoon for a clock

 

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I won $2 million on the lottery this weekend

so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.

Now I have $ 1,999,999.75.

pun united_states_quarter

 

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I’ll leave you with a word of warning.

pun beware

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