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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Gullible or not now is your chance to look at this week’s selection of word plays, better known as puns.

As usual they come with choice….

Enjoy or endure!!

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I have four problems in life:

counting,

remembering

and counting.

 

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I was driving along the other day,

when a bloke stopped me and said,

“Your back mud flaps have fallen off.”

I said, “Can’t do much about it now,

I’ll just carry on rear guard less.”

 

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Stable relationships

are for horses

 

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My friend told me that after years of doubt,

he is now convinced my wife is having an affair.

“We’ve gone and moved 250 miles away,” he told me.

“And we’ve still got the same window cleaner.”

 

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It’s times like these, when I’m sat

in bed with my computer on my knee,

that I really wish I’d bought a laptop.

 

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I think I may have a shower.

Just checked, yes I do, it’s upstairs.

 

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I just found $20 hanging from my ceiling.

It was a suicide note.

 

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Exaggerations went up

by a million percent last year.

 

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If Einstein hadn’t come up with

the Theory of Relativity,

someone else would have.

It was only a matter of time.

 

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My cat is absolutely terrified

of thunder and lightening.

The pussy.

 

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What part of my body is as long as your thigh,

contains over 120 muscles,

and is an anagram of “pensi”?

No, you’re completely wrong.

The correct answer is my spine.

 

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According to my facebook timeline,

I had no life before joining Facebook in 2012.

I believe it to be the other way around.

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Did You Know? It’s Fascinating Fact day.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It’s another “Did You Know” day on the fasab blog.

More random facts to get your head around.

Enjoy.

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The first Dunkin Donuts and the first Howard Johnson’s

were both in Quincy, Massachusetts.

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The Pennsylvania Dutch are not really Dutch.

They are a people of German ancestry living in

southeastern Pennsylvania, primarily in Lancaster County.

“German” in German is “Deutsch.”

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The Gateway Arch in St. Louis

is as wide at its base as it is tall (630 feet).

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Ohio State offers a course called “Sports for the Spectator.”

Students are taught how to be

“an informed and appreciative sports spectator.”

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Telephone cards first took off in Hawaii,

since long-distance charges from the far-flung state

were higher than anywhere else in the country.

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What day were you born on?

Apparently Tuesday is the most popular day of the week for giving birth,

a fact that has nothing to do with Nature

and everything to do with hospital staffing;

elective C-sections and induced labors

are often scheduled during traditional working hours.

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The majority of the text in the Monroe Doctrine

was actually penned by John Quincy Adams.

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Despite its reputation as a cosmonaut staple,

freeze-dried ice cream only made one mission to space.

In 1968, it provided instant sugar rushes to the astronauts of Apollo 7.

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In car design circles, a hood ornament is properly called a “mascot.”

The first American automobile to sport a mascot was the 1912 Cadillac.

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Albert Einstein never received a Nobel Prize

for his theory of relativity.

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On November 18th, 1913, pilot Lincoln Beachey was the

first person to make a complete loop-de-loop in an airplane.

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The first man to appear on the cover of Playboy

was the actor Peter Sellers.

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West Virginia is no longer the coal-mining capital of the U.S.,

nine of the ten top-producing coal mines are currently located in Wyoming.

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The popular game Bingo was originally called “Beano”

because players used beans to cover the numbered squares.

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Cruise control and automatic transmissions were invented

by a blind engineer named Ralph Teetor.

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Modern scholars believe that Jericho,

settled around 10,000 years ago,

was the first walled city in the world.

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The human bone most often broken is the clavicle (collar bone).

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Swearing to tell

“the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth”

dates back to English Common Law.

Interestingly enough, there were no penalties for perjury until the 1600s;

prior to that time, it was believed that the fear of God’s wrath

was enough to keep witnesses honest.

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According to doctors, humans have an average

of 14 episodes of flatulence per day.

(I always knew I was above average!)

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The Harlem Globetotters were originally a Chicago based team (1927).

They did not play a game in Harlem until the 1960s.

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