First Fasab Fact File Feast For 2015.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Hi and welcome to the first fasab fact feast for 2015.

If you like a random selection of interesting tidbits this is the place to be.

I hope you enjoy.

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did you know2

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There are

169,518,829,100,544,000,000,000,000,000

ways to play the first ten moves of any chess game.

chess game

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James Bond works for MI6,

which is a real agency,

except of course that he isn’t real,

so therefore he doesn’t.

I hope that’s cleared that up.

James Bond Daniel Craig

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Although the phrase ‘get out of hand’

has several different meanings nowadays,

still the most common is to describe when

someone loses control of things or a situation.

The phrase has its origins in the old days

when failure to keep a firm grip on the reins

would result in a team of horses

getting “out of hand.”

STAGECOACH

 

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The estimates of the number of workers

involved in the construction of the pyramids

differ significantly but it could have

been as many 100,000 people.

construction of the pyramids

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A polar bear has particularly developed

sense of smell and can track an

icebound seal up to 20 miles (32 kilometers) away,

or sniff-out a seal’s breathing hole in the ice

more than half a mile away, even if the seal is absent.

polar bear

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Harry S. Truman’s middle name

was just S.

According to Truman,

the S as his middle name was a

compromise of his two grandfathers,

Anderson Shipp Truman and Solomon Young.

Harry S. Truman

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Football star and American war hero Pat Tillman

rejected a multimillion-dollar contract to play

the game professionally and instead

chose to serve his country.

In 2002 he enlisted in the U.S. Army,

but sadly his career and life were cut short

when he was killed in action in 2004.

Even though the exact circumstances

of his death are still in question,

his legacy is not and Tillman is considered

one of the bravest American athletes

who turned his back on a comfortable,

luxurious life for the love of his country.

A great man.

Pat Tillman

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YouTube was founded

by three former PayPal employees,

Chad Hurley, Steven Chen, and Jawed Karim.

They registered the domain name in February 2005

and the site was officially launched that December.

youtube founders

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On the planet Mars there exists

what is known as the “face on Mars”.

It is believed to be an optical illusion

created from natural looking Martian hills.

face on Mars

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Greece’s national anthem

has 158 stanzas.

Greece's national anthem

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In 1938 Adolf Hitler was named

Time Magazine’s Man of the Year

and in 1939 was nominated

for the Nobel Peace Prize.

World War II began in 1939!

Adolf-Hitler-TIME-Man-of-the-Year

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Male mice sing love songs for female mice.

The songs they sing are ultrasonic,

and humans are unable to hear them,

but presumably the female mice can.

Male mice sing love songs for female mice

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The scene in the movie ‘Titanic’

when the band members continue playing

to calm down the passengers as the ship is sinking

is based on fact.

The band did continue to play for hours

after the ship hit the iceberg.

band members continue playing on titanic

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Alcohol more easily causes dehydration

and dilates blood vessels

which can result in headaches;

it also increases stomach acid and

decreases the rate the stomach empties itself

which can lead to vomiting.

We call this infliction a hangover.

hangover

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Contrary to what you see in the movies,

real Tequila does not have a worm in it.

The worm, or gusano, actually originated

with tequila’s ‘lower-quality’ cousin, mezcal,

largely as a marketing ploy.

The gusano is the larvae of a type of moth

that lives on the agave plant.

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Jobs Blow For Sex Workers

 “Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Thought it was safe?

Sorry, pun day again folks.

Enjoy!

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Deja Moo:

The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.

deja-moo

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I’m not a complete idiot

Some parts are just missing.

I'm not a complete idiot

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The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

gene pool could use a little chlorine

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A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Old Coots Hangover The Wrath Of Grapes

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A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:

“A beer please, and one for the road.”

One-for-the-road

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Did you hear about the butcher backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.

a little behind in his work

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She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg,

but broke it off.

boyfriend with a wooden leg

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Without geometry, life is pointless.

without geometry

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Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Baker_Kneading_Dough

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I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

blanket-blanket-factory-folded-pun

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Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

cartoon_condom

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Dockyard:

A physician’s garden.

physician's garden

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A guy was confused about why the doctors had amputated his arms and legs.

In fact he was stumped.

amputated his arms

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A man wakes up on a deserted island

only to find that the sun, sand and sea are all purple.

He cried: “Oh no, I’ve been marooned!”

marooned

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Men need to stop telling jokes about women’s menstrual cycle!

Period.

women's menstrual cycle

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My girlfriend said that she’s leaving me,

because of my constant grass related puns.

I told her to sod off.

sod

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My wife gave me a lecture about

my obsession with mythical creature puns.

It didn’t half Dragon.

dragon

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A nine-year-old lad walks into a pub and yells at the barmaid for a Scotch on the rocks.

‘Do you want to get me into trouble?’ she replies.

‘Maybe later,’ says the boy, ‘but now I just want a drink’.

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Dumb Dumb Dumb – Yes, More Quiz Show Answers

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

Dumb was about the only word that could describe today’s lot of quiz show contestants, but even that wasn’t enough so I said it three times (and that went along with the video at the end, who was it said, I like it when a plan comes together).

So here you are.

Hope you find something to make you smile this Monday. I’m away to count me toes.

Enjoy!

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Q:  Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman

A:  Forrest Gump.

Q:  On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?

A:  Er . . .

Q:  He makes bread .. .

A:  Er . . .

Q:  He makes cakes .. .

A:  Kipling Street?

Q:  Which of these is a city in Germany: Hanoi, Hanover or Hangover?

A:  Hanoi.

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Q:  In what year was President Kennedy assassinated?

A:  Erm .. .

Q: Well, let’s put it this way – he didn’t see 1964.

A:  1965?

Q:  What’s the Prince of Wales’s Christian name?

A:  Err . . .

Q:  Here’s a clue: he was married to Diana.

A:  Err . . .

Q:  It begins with a ‘C’.

A:  No idea.

Q:  What was the name of Tony Blair’s chief spin-doctor who resigned last year?

A:  Iain Duncan Smith.

Q:  Arrange these two groups of letters to form a word – CHED and PIT.

A: Chedpit.

Q:  How many toes would three people have in total?

A:  23.

Q:  I’m looking for an island in the Atlantic whose name includes the letter ‘e’.

A:  Ghana.

Q:  No, listen. It’s an island in the Atlantic Ocean.

A:  New Zealand.

Q:  What is the world’s largest continent?

A:  The Pacific

Q:  Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo Da Vinci.

A:  Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

Q:  In which European city was the first opera house opened in 1637?

A:  Sydney.

Q:  What was signed to bring World War I to an end in 1918?

A:  Magna Carta.

Q:  What international brand shares its name with the Greek goddess of victory?

A: (after long deliberation): Erm, Kellogg’s?

Q:  Name a book written by Jane Austen.

A:  Charlotte Bronte.

Q:  What is the name of the French-speaking Canadian state?

A:  America? 

A:  Portugal? 

A:  Canada? 

A:  Mexico? 

A:  Italy? 

A:  Spain? 

Q:  How many days in a leap year?

A:  253.

Q:  What is the county town of Kent?

A:  Kentish Town?

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Q:  Who wrote Lord of the Rings?

A:  Enid Blyton

Q:  In which European country are there people called Walloons?

A:  Wales.

Q:  Dizzy Gillespie is famous for playing . .. what?

A:  Basketball.

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More Pun Fun Today

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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More pun fun today. It’s amazing how bad a joke you can get away with when there’s a pun or two involved. The evidence can be found below.

Enjoy.

 

 

A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

 

Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.

 

Practice safe eating – always use condiments.

 

Is a shotgun wedding a case of wife or death?

 

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

 

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

 

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

 

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

 

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

 

When two egotists meet, it’s always an I for an I.

 

A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.

 

What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway.)

 

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

 

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

 

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

 

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

 

They tried to save him with an I.V. but it was all in vein.

 

Stir-fry cooks come from all woks of life.

 

Did your hear about the illiterate fisherman who was lost at c?

 

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It’s Monday Again, And You Know What That Means…. More Stupid Quiz Show Answers

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Hi everyone, yes it’s Monday again and time for another selection of stupid quiz show answers.

Are you depressed at the horrendous level of stupidity out there in the big wide world, or just happy that you are a lot smarter then these guys? I mean, who could ever forget “Smelly Kelly”? 

Either way I hope you enjoy today’s bunch.

 

 

 

Q: Name a time when people wake up   

A: Morning

 

 

Q: Name a sport people play by themselves      

A: Video games

 

 

Q: The state with the best beaches        

A: Los Angeles

 

 

Q: Name something a husband asks his wife to carry in her purse          

A: Condoms

 

 

Q: Name something a woman likes a man to have that begins with the letter M    

A: Makeup

 

 

Q: Name a Southern city           

A: Georgia

 

 

Q: Name a subject people discuss on their first date      

A: Sex 

 

 

Q: Name something an airline passenger might be holding during a bumpy flight

A: A lucky rabbit’s foot  

 

 

Q: Name something about Dr. Phil that comedians make fun of 

A: His contestants

 

 

Q: Name a famous Kelly           

A: Kelly “Ripka”

A: “Smelly Kelly”

 

 

Q: Name a sure cure for a hangover      

A: Making love 

 

 

Q: Name a famous Christina     

A: Christina the car

 

 

Q: Name a food with an edible skin       

A: Banana

 

 

Q: The night with the worst TV programs

A: UPN

 

 

Q: Name something you put in tea        

A: Tea bag

 

 

Q: Name a place where you might see a dead body       

A: Your house  

 

 

Q: Name a job around the house that has to be done every fall  

A: Spring cleaning

 

 

Q: An occupation considered to be un-masculine           

A: Truck driver  

 

 

Q: Name something dogs can do better than people      

A: Pee 

 

 

Q: The longest amount of time you have spent without talking to your spouse    

A: 20 minutes   

 

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