Jobs Blow For Sex Workers

 “Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Thought it was safe?

Sorry, pun day again folks.

Enjoy!

.

. 

Deja Moo:

The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.

deja-moo

.

I’m not a complete idiot

Some parts are just missing.

I'm not a complete idiot

.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

gene pool could use a little chlorine

.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Old Coots Hangover The Wrath Of Grapes

.

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:

“A beer please, and one for the road.”

One-for-the-road

.

Did you hear about the butcher backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.

a little behind in his work

.

She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg,

but broke it off.

boyfriend with a wooden leg

.

Without geometry, life is pointless.

without geometry

.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Baker_Kneading_Dough

.

I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

blanket-blanket-factory-folded-pun

.

. 

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

cartoon_condom

.

Dockyard:

A physician’s garden.

physician's garden

.

A guy was confused about why the doctors had amputated his arms and legs.

In fact he was stumped.

amputated his arms

.

A man wakes up on a deserted island

only to find that the sun, sand and sea are all purple.

He cried: “Oh no, I’ve been marooned!”

marooned

.

Men need to stop telling jokes about women’s menstrual cycle!

Period.

women's menstrual cycle

.

My girlfriend said that she’s leaving me,

because of my constant grass related puns.

I told her to sod off.

sod

.

My wife gave me a lecture about

my obsession with mythical creature puns.

It didn’t half Dragon.

dragon

.

A nine-year-old lad walks into a pub and yells at the barmaid for a Scotch on the rocks.

‘Do you want to get me into trouble?’ she replies.

‘Maybe later,’ says the boy, ‘but now I just want a drink’.

. 

================================

.

More Pun Fun Today

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

 .

More pun fun today. It’s amazing how bad a joke you can get away with when there’s a pun or two involved. The evidence can be found below.

Enjoy.

 

 

A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

 

Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.

 

Practice safe eating – always use condiments.

 

Is a shotgun wedding a case of wife or death?

 

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

 

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

 

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

 

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

 

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

 

When two egotists meet, it’s always an I for an I.

 

A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.

 

What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway.)

 

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

 

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

 

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

 

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

 

They tried to save him with an I.V. but it was all in vein.

 

Stir-fry cooks come from all woks of life.

 

Did your hear about the illiterate fisherman who was lost at c?

 

===============================