Did You Know? It’s Fascinating Fact day.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


It’s another “Did You Know” day on the fasab blog.

More random facts to get your head around.



did you know4


The first Dunkin Donuts and the first Howard Johnson’s

were both in Quincy, Massachusetts.

Dunkin Donuts



The Pennsylvania Dutch are not really Dutch.

They are a people of German ancestry living in

southeastern Pennsylvania, primarily in Lancaster County.

“German” in German is “Deutsch.”

Pennsylvania Dutch



The Gateway Arch in St. Louis

is as wide at its base as it is tall (630 feet).

Gateway Arch dimensions



Ohio State offers a course called “Sports for the Spectator.”

Students are taught how to be

“an informed and appreciative sports spectator.”




Telephone cards first took off in Hawaii,

since long-distance charges from the far-flung state

were higher than anywhere else in the country.




What day were you born on?

Apparently Tuesday is the most popular day of the week for giving birth,

a fact that has nothing to do with Nature

and everything to do with hospital staffing;

elective C-sections and induced labors

are often scheduled during traditional working hours.




The majority of the text in the Monroe Doctrine

was actually penned by John Quincy Adams.

The Monroe Doctrine



Despite its reputation as a cosmonaut staple,

freeze-dried ice cream only made one mission to space.

In 1968, it provided instant sugar rushes to the astronauts of Apollo 7.




In car design circles, a hood ornament is properly called a “mascot.”

The first American automobile to sport a mascot was the 1912 Cadillac.




Albert Einstein never received a Nobel Prize

for his theory of relativity.

Pigeon Books Albert Einstein Relativity



On November 18th, 1913, pilot Lincoln Beachey was the

first person to make a complete loop-de-loop in an airplane.




The first man to appear on the cover of Playboy

was the actor Peter Sellers.




West Virginia is no longer the coal-mining capital of the U.S.,

nine of the ten top-producing coal mines are currently located in Wyoming.

open cast coal mine



The popular game Bingo was originally called “Beano”

because players used beans to cover the numbered squares.




Cruise control and automatic transmissions were invented

by a blind engineer named Ralph Teetor.

Ralph Teetor



Modern scholars believe that Jericho,

settled around 10,000 years ago,

was the first walled city in the world.




The human bone most often broken is the clavicle (collar bone).




Swearing to tell

“the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth”

dates back to English Common Law.

Interestingly enough, there were no penalties for perjury until the 1600s;

prior to that time, it was believed that the fear of God’s wrath

was enough to keep witnesses honest.

The truth the whole truth



According to doctors, humans have an average

of 14 episodes of flatulence per day.

(I always knew I was above average!)




The Harlem Globetotters were originally a Chicago based team (1927).

They did not play a game in Harlem until the 1960s.





Courting Disasters

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


No, not the romantic kind of courting disasters, not this time anyhow. Today it’s another selection from the courts.

You may forgive the witness and jury member responses (although some of them are really dumb), but it is hard to believe when you read some of this that these lawyers have had the benefit of an expensive education.

Money and time wasted?

Judge for yourselves.




But first a joke….


A witness to an automobile accident was testifying in court.

The following exchange took place between the lawyer and the witness:

The lawyer: “Did you actually see the accident?”

The witness: “Yes, sir.”

The lawyer: “How far away were you when the accident happened?”

The witness: “Thirty-one feet, six and one quarter inches.”

The lawyer (thinking he’d trap the witness): “Well, sir, will you tell the jury how you knew it was
exactly that distance?”

The witness: “Because when the accident happened I took out a tape and measured it. I knew some stupid lawyer would ask me that question.”




Defendant: I remember when I was in your courtroom in 1956 when you was a municipal judge

Counsel: I don’t think we should go into that

Defendant: Not guilty, too

Counsel: Well, we all make mistakes, sir, but you didn’t make one

Defendant: Well you made one, I was guilty



District Attorney: Okay. How much earlier had you used cocaine?

Defendant: I was getting high all that day

District Attorney: All right. So you were using cocaine. Were you free-basing cocaine?

Defendant: No I bought it.



Counsel: Okay. Now let me ask you again, had you been drinking that day? Alcohol, I mean?

Defendant: Uh-huh

Counsel: Had you?

Defendant’s Counsel  Answer it audibly

Counsel: Had you been drinking alcohol that day?

Defendant: Audibly

Counsel: What were you drinking, beer or what?

Defendant: Uh-huh

Counsel: Beer?

Defendant: Audibly



District Attorney: Judge, I would object to Counsel’s characterization of this disagreement. He is giving a one-sided view.

Judge:  Of course he is. That is what you expect of a trial attorney



Judge:  Please begin

Counsel: Thank you

Q. (to witness) Miss, while you have, if you do have – you still- oh, you don’t.

Judge: That was a great start, counsel



Judge:  Are all of the defendants black?

Counsel #1:  My client is white

Counsel #2:  My client is described in the police report as mulatto

Judge: How do you describe her?

Counsel #2:  Pregnant



Counsel:  Your Honor, the defense would argue the People haven’t proved the prior conviction.

District Attorney: Oh shit!

Counsel:  That’s a legal term?

Judge:  One used quite often in law school



District Attorney: Did the defendant make any other statements to you at that time?

Witness: He told me he had the best lawyer in Los Angeles and that I didn’t have a case

Counsel: I’ll stipulate to that, Your Honor



Q: What about the research?

A:  I don’t think there is any research on that. There’s a logical hunch that may be true, but I know of no research study that would support that at this point in time.

Q: What about just common sense?

A: Well I am not here using common sense. I am here as an expert.



Q: How long would it take for a sphincter spasm to heal, Doctor?

A: Sphincter spasm is not a disease process. I mean, as you stand there, you can have a sphincter spasm if you wanted to.

Q: I could have a sphincter spasm right now if I wanted to?

A: Just tighten your sphincter and that is your sphincter spasm. Try it.

Q: Can you have one right now, Doctor?

A: Yeah, I think we all can



Q: Deputy, showing your photographs numbers 3 and 4, can you identify those?

A: Those were photographs taken at our sheriff’s headquarters.

Q: Do you recognize the individuals in the photographs?

A: Yes, sir

Q: And, in Exhibit No. 3, do you recognize that subject?

A: Yes sir

Q: How do you recognize him?

A: There’s a name card in front of him.

Court breaks into laughter

Judge: Oh, I love that. We don’t get paid much, but we do have a good time.



Q: Officer have you ever cut yourself?

A: Yes sir

Q: When you cut yourself did anything come out?

A: Yes sir

Q: What color was that?

Counsel:  I objet Your Honor as irrelevant

Judge: Overruled

A: It was red

Q: Did that red substance that came out appear to be similar to the red substance you saw at the scene?

A: Yes sir

Q: Does that red substance have a name?

A: Yes Sir, it does

Q: What is it called?

A: Blood





Another Edition Of Stupidity Is Legal

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


They tell me it’s Monday again. Where do the weeks go? Still, there isn’t much we can do about it but start the week with a bit of a laugh.

This is another selection from my “stupidity is legal” file. Some of these are so daft that they are bound to raise a chuckle or two. I hope so anyhow. And I also hope that there are no repeats from other post, although I cannot guarantee that. Even if you have read some of them before they are the kind of thing that can stand a second or third or fourth read without lessening the enjoyment too much.

Here we go.



Lawyer: Mrs. Smith, you do believe that you are emotionally unstable?


Witness: I used to be.


Lawyer: How many times have you committed suicide?


Witness: Four times.


– – – – – – – – – –



Lawyer: Were you acquainted with the deceased?


Witness: Yes, sir.


Lawyer: Before or after he died?


– – – – – – – – – –



Lawyer: You say you’re innocent, yet five people swore they saw you steal a watch.


Witness: Your Honor, I can produce 500 people who didn’t see me steal it.


– – – – – – – – – –



Lawyer: When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?


Mr. BROOKS: Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.


– – – – – – – – – –



Lawyer: At the time you first saw Dr. McCarty, had you ever seen him prior to that time?


– – – – – – – – – –



Lawyer: Did the lady standing at the driveway subsequently identify herself to you?


Witness: Yes, she did.


Lawyer: Who did she say she was?


Witness: She said she was the owner of the dog’s wife.


– – – – – – – – – –



Lawyer: Please state the location of your right foot immediately prior to impact.


Witness: Immediately before the impact, my right foot was located at the immediate end of my right leg.


– – – – – – – – – –



Lawyer: You don’t know what it was, and you didn’t know what it looked like, but can you describe it?


– – – – – – – – – –



Lawyer: “Sir, what is your IQ?”


Witness: “Well, I can see pretty well, I think.”


– – – – – – – – – –



Lawyer: “Now sir, I’m sure you are an intelligent and honest man–”


Witness: “Thank you. If I weren’t under oath, I’d return the compliment.”


– – – – – – – – – –



Lawyer: “What is your brother-in-law’s name?”


Witness: “Borofkin.”


Lawyer: “What’s his first name?”


Witness: “I can’t remember.”


Lawyer: “He’s been your brother-in-law for years, and you can’t remember his first name?”


Witness: “No. I tell you, I’m too excited.” (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) “Nathan, for heaven’s sake, tell them your first name!”


– – – – – – – – – –



Lawyer: “Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?”


Witness: “No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.”


– – – – – – – – – –



Lawyer: “What is your marital status?”


Witness: “Fair.”


– – – – – – – – – –



Lawyer: “Are you married?”


Witness: “No, I’m divorced.”


Lawyer: “And what did your husband do before you divorced him?”


Witness: “A lot of things I didn’t know about.”


– – – – – – – – – –



The Court: “Now, as we begin, I must ask you to banish all present information and prejudice from your minds, if you have any.”


– – – – – – – – – –



Lawyer: “Did you tell your lawyer that your husband had offered you indignities?”


Witness: “He didn’t offer me nothing. He just said I could have the furniture.”


– – – – – – – – – –



Lawyer: “So, after the anesthesia, when you came out of it, what did you observe with respect to your scalp?”


Witness: “I didn’t see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital.”


Lawyer: “It was covered?”


Witness: “Yes, bandaged.”


Lawyer: “Then, later on…what did you see?”


Witness: “I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top of my head.”


– – – – – – – – – –



Lawyer: “The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased, objective witness, isn’t it? You too were shot in the fracas.”


Witness: “No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval.”