Jobs Blow For Sex Workers

 “Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Thought it was safe?

Sorry, pun day again folks.

Enjoy!

.

. 

Deja Moo:

The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.

deja-moo

.

I’m not a complete idiot

Some parts are just missing.

I'm not a complete idiot

.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

gene pool could use a little chlorine

.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Old Coots Hangover The Wrath Of Grapes

.

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:

“A beer please, and one for the road.”

One-for-the-road

.

Did you hear about the butcher backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.

a little behind in his work

.

She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg,

but broke it off.

boyfriend with a wooden leg

.

Without geometry, life is pointless.

without geometry

.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Baker_Kneading_Dough

.

I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

blanket-blanket-factory-folded-pun

.

. 

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

cartoon_condom

.

Dockyard:

A physician’s garden.

physician's garden

.

A guy was confused about why the doctors had amputated his arms and legs.

In fact he was stumped.

amputated his arms

.

A man wakes up on a deserted island

only to find that the sun, sand and sea are all purple.

He cried: “Oh no, I’ve been marooned!”

marooned

.

Men need to stop telling jokes about women’s menstrual cycle!

Period.

women's menstrual cycle

.

My girlfriend said that she’s leaving me,

because of my constant grass related puns.

I told her to sod off.

sod

.

My wife gave me a lecture about

my obsession with mythical creature puns.

It didn’t half Dragon.

dragon

.

A nine-year-old lad walks into a pub and yells at the barmaid for a Scotch on the rocks.

‘Do you want to get me into trouble?’ she replies.

‘Maybe later,’ says the boy, ‘but now I just want a drink’.

. 

================================

.

Another Selection Of Anagrams, part two in this short Sunday series

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Welcome to another Sunday and another selection of anagrams to, I hope, amuse and entertain.

 

 

‘Plastic surgery’

Result: Gasp! I cry

———————

 

‘The Prince of Wales (Charles Philip Arthur George Mountbatten-Windsor)’

Pre-eminent twerp. Highbrow felon. Adulterous English aristocrat chap.

———————-

 

‘America’s first moon landing’

Grand-scale misinformation!

———————-

 

‘marriage’

A grim era

———————-

 

‘marriage vows’

Orgasm waiver

———————-

 

‘menstrual cycle’

Cleanly rectums

———————-

 

‘Evangelist’

Evil’s agent

———————-

 

‘Desperation’

A rope ends it

———————-

 

‘The Morse Code’

Here come dots

———————-

 

‘Slot Machines’

Cash lost in ’em

———————-

 

‘The Public Art Galleries’

Large picture halls, I bet

———————-

 

‘A Decimal Point’

I’m a dot in place

———————-

 

‘The Earthquakes’

That queer shake

———————-

 

‘Eleven plus two’

Twelve plus one

———————-

 

“That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.” (Neil Armstrong, on the moon)

A thin man ran; makes a large stride, left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!

———————-

 

‘President Clinton, of the USA’

To copulate, he finds interns

———————-

 

‘President Barack Hussein Obama

A maniac presides. The banks rob u

———————-

 

‘William Shakespeare’

I’ll make a wise phrase

———————-

 

‘Jay Leno’

Enjoy L.A.

———————-

 

‘Gene Simmons’

Immense song

———————-

 

‘The eyes’

They see

 

======================