This week’s Quiz. Are You Ready?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, time for this week’s quiz.

I hope you are ready, although I have included a lot of multiple choice questions this time so it may be a little easier – but only if you choose the right answer!

As always the answers can be found waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below if you get stuck – but NO cheating please.

Enjoy, and good luck.

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Quiz 07

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Q.  1: Which of these spoons is the largest?

            a) dessertspoon     b) tablespoon    c) teaspoon

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Q.  2:  In what movie does Julia Roberts play a character pretending to be the actress Julia Roberts?

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Q.  3:  In 2004, which country became the first in Europe to impose a total ban on smoking in all workplaces?

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Q.  4:  What was the occupation of Alfred Southwick, whose 1881 idea led to the invention of the electric chair?

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Q.  5:  In 1999, which country became the last in the world to grant its citizens access to television?

            a) Bhutan      b) Brunei      c) Bahrain      d) China

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Q.  6:  What card game has a name that also means ‘a short sleep’?

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Q.  7:  A ‘Topping Out’ ceremony marks the completion of what?

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Q.  8:  Which of these animals is NOT a crustacean?

            a) Crab      b) Oyster      c) Lobster

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Q.  9:  In the film ‘The Spy Who Loved Me’, James Bond travels underwater in what make of car?

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Q. 10:  In Greek mythology what was Charybdis?

            a) A ‘Gate’        b) A ‘Kingdom’       c) A ‘God’       d) A ‘Whirlpool’

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Q. 11:  In banking the term ‘SWIFT’ is used in wire transfers, but what do the letters ‘S W I F T’ stand for?

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Q. 12:  Famous for cotton, in what country are the Sea Islands?

            a) Australia        b) India        c) United States        d) Columbia

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Q. 13:  Which of these animals feature in the Chinese astrological calendar?

            a) Elk      b) Ox       c) Yak

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Q. 14:  What is former US Secretary of State Henry Kissinger supposed to have called “the ultimate aphrodisiac”?

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Q. 15:  In 1352, Tommaso da Modena painted what is believed to be the first portrait of someone wearing what?

            a) dentures         b) spectacles         c) wooden leg

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Q. 16:  In the movie ‘Good Will Hunting’ Matt Damon plays a character with a special ability for what subject?

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Q. 17:  The British 7th Armoured Division got which nickname during their African campaign in WWII?

            a) jungle tigers      b) desert rats       c) mountain foxes

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Q. 18:  In the 2012 Summer Olympic games competitors took part in how many sports?

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Q. 19:  Martin Landau won the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for playing which horror movie star in the movie ‘Ed Wood’?

            a) Bela Lugosi     b) Lon Chaney, Jr.     C) Boris Karloff

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Q. 20:  Which female singer/songwriter wants to, according to the title of one of her singles, ‘Soak Up The Sun’?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1: Which of these spoons is the largest?

            a) dessertspoon     b) tablespoon    c) teaspoon

A.  1:  b) tablespoon.

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Q.  2:  In what movie does Julia Roberts play a character pretending to be the actress Julia Roberts?

A.  2:  Ocean’s Twelve.

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Q.  3:  In 2004, which country became the first in Europe to impose a total ban on smoking in all workplaces?

A.  3:  Ireland.

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Q.  4:  What was the occupation of Alfred Southwick, whose 1881 idea led to the invention of the electric chair?

A.  4:  Dentist.

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Q.  5:  In 1999, which country became the last in the world to grant its citizens access to television?

            a) Bhutan      b) Brunei      c) Bahrain      d) China

A.  5:  a) Bhutan. 

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Q.  6:  What card game has a name that also means ‘a short sleep’?

A.  6:  Nap.

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Q.  7:  A ‘Topping Out’ ceremony marks the completion of what?

A.  7:  A building.

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Q.  8:  Which of these animals is NOT a crustacean?

            a) Crab      b) Oyster      c) Lobster

A.  8:  b) Oyster

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Q.  9:  In the film ‘The Spy Who Loved Me’, James Bond travels underwater in what make of car?

A.  9:  Lotus Esprit.

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Q. 10:  In Greek mythology what was Charybdis?

            a) A ‘Gate’        b) A ‘Kingdom’       c) A ‘God’       d) A ‘Whirlpool’

A. 10:  d) A Whirlpool

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Q. 11:  In banking the term ‘SWIFT’ is used in wire transfers, but what do the letters ‘S W I F T’ stand for?

A. 11:  Society of Worldwide Interbank Financial Communication.

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Q. 12:  Famous for cotton, in what country are the Sea Islands?

            a) Australia        b) India        c) United States        d) Columbia

A. 12:  c) United States.

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Q. 13:  Which of these animals feature in the Chinese astrological calendar?

            a) Elk      b) Ox       c) Yak

A. 13:  b) Ox

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Q. 14:  What is former US Secretary of State Henry Kissinger supposed to have called “the ultimate aphrodisiac”?

A. 14:  Power.

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Q. 15:  In 1352, Tommaso da Modena painted what is believed to be the first portrait of someone wearing what?

            a) dentures         b) spectacles         c) wooden leg

A. 15:  b) spectacles.

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Q. 16:  In the movie ‘Good Will Hunting’ Matt Damon plays a character with a special ability for what subject?

A. 16:  Mathematics.

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Q. 17:  The British 7th Armoured Division got which nickname during their African campaign in WWII?

            a) jungle tigers      b) desert rats       c) mountain foxes

A. 17:  b) desert rats.

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Q. 18:  In the 2012 Summer Olympic games, competitors took part in how many sports?

A. 18:  26.

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Q. 19:  Martin Landau won the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for playing which horror movie star in the movie ‘Ed Wood’?

            a) Bela Lugosi     b) Lon Chaney, Jr.     C) Boris Karloff

A. 19:  a) Bela Lugosi.

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Q. 20:  Which female singer/songwriter wants to, according to the title of one of her singles, ‘Soak Up The Sun’?

A. 20:  Sheryl Crowe.

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Jobs Blow For Sex Workers

 “Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Thought it was safe?

Sorry, pun day again folks.

Enjoy!

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Deja Moo:

The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.

deja-moo

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I’m not a complete idiot

Some parts are just missing.

I'm not a complete idiot

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The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

gene pool could use a little chlorine

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A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Old Coots Hangover The Wrath Of Grapes

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A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:

“A beer please, and one for the road.”

One-for-the-road

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Did you hear about the butcher backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.

a little behind in his work

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She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg,

but broke it off.

boyfriend with a wooden leg

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Without geometry, life is pointless.

without geometry

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Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Baker_Kneading_Dough

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I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

blanket-blanket-factory-folded-pun

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Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

cartoon_condom

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Dockyard:

A physician’s garden.

physician's garden

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A guy was confused about why the doctors had amputated his arms and legs.

In fact he was stumped.

amputated his arms

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A man wakes up on a deserted island

only to find that the sun, sand and sea are all purple.

He cried: “Oh no, I’ve been marooned!”

marooned

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Men need to stop telling jokes about women’s menstrual cycle!

Period.

women's menstrual cycle

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My girlfriend said that she’s leaving me,

because of my constant grass related puns.

I told her to sod off.

sod

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My wife gave me a lecture about

my obsession with mythical creature puns.

It didn’t half Dragon.

dragon

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A nine-year-old lad walks into a pub and yells at the barmaid for a Scotch on the rocks.

‘Do you want to get me into trouble?’ she replies.

‘Maybe later,’ says the boy, ‘but now I just want a drink’.

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Yesterday It Was The Answers That Were The Problem, Today It’s The Questions

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yesterday it was the answers that were the problem. Today it is the questions. Here is another selection of those important questions that very few seem to want to ask.

Enjoy.

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Why do overalls have belt loops, since they are held up at the top by the straps?

why do overalls have belt loops?.

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Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?.

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Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Obama nailing coffin shut. .

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Why people are so scared of mice, which are much smaller than us, when no one seems to be scared of Micky Mouse, who is bigger than us?

Mickey Mouse .

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How come we never hear about gruntled employees?

gruntled employees .

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Why are plastic bears the only animal you can get honey from? Why can’t you get honey from a plastic bee?

HoneyBear.

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What happens when you put hand sanitizer on a place other than your hand?

What happens when you put hand sanitizer on a place other then your hand?.

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Can you “stare off into space” when you’re in space?

stare off into space

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Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

lethal-injection

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If there were a thousand seaguls in an airplane while its flying, each weighing two pounds a piece, but they were all flying in the airplane, would the airplane weigh 2000 pounds more?

seagull plane

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If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk?

cartoon fly

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If a food processor slices and dices food, what does a word processor do?

food word processor combo

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Why isn’t there mouse flavored cat food?

mouse flavored cat food

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If a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

monkey

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If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?

JoggingCartoons

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If a mirror reverses right and left, why doesn’t it reverse up and down?

mirror images

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If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

humanitarian meal

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More Pun Fun Today

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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More pun fun today. It’s amazing how bad a joke you can get away with when there’s a pun or two involved. The evidence can be found below.

Enjoy.

 

 

A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

 

Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.

 

Practice safe eating – always use condiments.

 

Is a shotgun wedding a case of wife or death?

 

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

 

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

 

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

 

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

 

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

 

When two egotists meet, it’s always an I for an I.

 

A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.

 

What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway.)

 

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

 

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

 

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

 

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

 

They tried to save him with an I.V. but it was all in vein.

 

Stir-fry cooks come from all woks of life.

 

Did your hear about the illiterate fisherman who was lost at c?

 

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