It’s July 4th, You Know What Day That Is?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Yes, you got it, it’s Pun Day.

And because Pun Day this year happens to fall on July 4th, here’s a special Independence word play edition.

Enjoy this festive edition!

.

.

What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?

The Americans licked the British!

.

.

Why did the British cross the Atlantic?

To get to the other tide!

.

.

What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly-haired dog?

A Yankee Poodle Dandy!

.

.

Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?

Yeah, it cracked me up!

The Liberty Bell

.

.

What would Americans get if they crossed George Washington with cattle feed?

The fodder of their Country!

.

.

Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?

At the chopping mall!

.

.

What was General Washington’s favorite tree?

The infantry!

.

.

What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?

Liber-Tea!

.

.

Which colonists told the most jokes?

Punsylvanians!

.

.

What did a patriot put on his dry skin?

Revo-lotion!

.

.

What dance was very popular in 1776?

Indepen-dance!

.

.

Which one of Washington’s officers had the best sense of humor?

Laughayette!

Marquis de La Fayette served as a major-general in the Continental Army under George Washington and was a leader of the Garde nationale during the French Revolution.

.

.

What was Thomas Jefferson’s favourite dessert?

Monti jello!

Thomas Jefferson’s Monticello Estate

.

.

What did King George think of the American colonists?

He thought they were revolting!

.

.

Why were the early American settlers like ants?

Because they lived in colonies.

Colonial America

.

.

What has feathers, webbed feet, and certain inalienable rights?

The Ducklaration of Independence!

.

.

What would you get if you crossed the American national bird with Snoopy?

A bald beagle!

.

.

What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?

The Battle of Bonkers Hill.

.

.

Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom!

.

.

Did you hear about the cartoonist in the Continental Army?

He was a Yankee doodler!

.

.

What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1773?

The Boston Flea Party!

.

.

What would you get if you crossed Washington’s home with nasty insects?

Mt. Vermin!

Washington’s Mount Vernon Estate

.

.

Which son of old Virginia wrote the Declaration of Independence?

I think it was Thomas Jeffer’s son.

Thomas Jefferson’s words and hopes. How far have the present leaders of America strayed from those lofty and laudable goals?

.

===================================

.

It’s Thursday And That Means Another Excuse For A Few More Bad Jokes

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Yes, it’s Thursday and that means another excuse for a few more bad jokes in the shape of the word plays called puns.

Enjoy!

.

Organ donors put their heart into it.
..

Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.
..

A hungry traveler stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens.
A brother is frying chips.
‘Are you the friar?’ he asks.
‘No. I’m the chip monk,’ he replies.
..

Why does the coffee taste like mud?
Because it was ground a couple of minutes ago.
..

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
..

I could not pull out of my parking space, so I used my back up plan.
..

I relish the fact that you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
..

The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out.
..

To some – marriage is a word … to others – a sentence.
..

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a
weapon of math disruption.
..

The man who worked at the watch factory was very funny.
He stood about all day making faces.
..

I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak.
..

Experts say the cost of funerals have risen by 50%,
they blame it on the cost of living.
..

Cartoonist found dead in home.
Details are sketchy.
..

Old doctors never die they just lose their patience.
..

I saw a beaver movie last night, it was the best dam movie I’ve ever seen.
..

Did you hear about the electrician who claimed that his truck was a volts wagon.

..

===========================================