Saturn In A Bathtub? Just One Of Today’s Facts!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, the usual unusual mixture of facts for you today.

You’ll have a job trying to get Saturn into a bathtub, but in the meantime there are a lot of other facts to explore.

Enjoy.

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facts 04

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If you could put Saturn in a bathtub it would float.

(But you will need a very large bathtub.)

saturn in a bathtub

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If saliva cannot dissolve something,

you cannot taste it.

taste

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Your brain accounts for about 2% of your mass

but uses up to a quarter of your oxygen and energy

brain

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Chocolate contains phenylethylamine,

a naturally occurring amino-acid

which is believed to have aphrodisiacal effects

and is even said to be able to “cure” hangovers.

chocolate

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Roger Woodward goes down in history

as the youngest person to go over the

Niagara Falls unprotected and survive.

It was unintentional and happened

after a boat he was in capsized.

miracle of Niagra

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Marc Okrand, the linguistics professor responsible

for coming up with the fictional language of Klingon,

spent 3 years teaching his son when he was little.

His son went on to forget everything.

klingon

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At its height in 480BC the first Persian Empire

covered 44% of the world’s population.

This is the largest percentage of any empire in history.

By comparison the British only had 20%

persian_empire

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Life expectancy in the middle ages wasn’t as low as you think.

The average age was brought down

but that was mostly because of a high infant mortality rate.

Most adults lived well into their 60s.

the middle ages

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Animal Kingdom was supposed to have had

a land devoted to mythical creatures,

but it was abandoned at the last minute.

However, no one thought about

changing the Animal Kingdom sign,

which still includes a dragon

disney-animal-kingdom-logo

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Gorgias of Epirus, a Greek teacher

was born in his dead mother’s coffin.

The pallbearers heard him crying during the burial.

Gorgias of Epirus

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Heresy comes from a Greek word meaning choice

Heresy-stamp

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JFK was a huge James Bond fan.

He first met the author of the series,

Ian Fleming, at a dinner party in 1960.

They allegedly bounced around ideas

about how to get rid of Fidel Castro.

007

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The world’s highest road is the Aucanquilcha mining road.

This mining road was once used by trucks

to climb this Chilean volcano to an altitude of over 6,000 meters.

Aucanquilcha mining road

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In ancient Rome, urine was used as mouthwash.

(Now that really is taking the piss!)

urine was used as mouthwash

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The musical Grease is one of the highest grossing of all time

with receipts Worldwide of $394,955,690.

I think this is the one that you want….

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Jobs Blow For Sex Workers

 “Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Thought it was safe?

Sorry, pun day again folks.

Enjoy!

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Deja Moo:

The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.

deja-moo

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I’m not a complete idiot

Some parts are just missing.

I'm not a complete idiot

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The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

gene pool could use a little chlorine

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A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Old Coots Hangover The Wrath Of Grapes

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A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:

“A beer please, and one for the road.”

One-for-the-road

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Did you hear about the butcher backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.

a little behind in his work

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She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg,

but broke it off.

boyfriend with a wooden leg

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Without geometry, life is pointless.

without geometry

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Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Baker_Kneading_Dough

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I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

blanket-blanket-factory-folded-pun

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Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

cartoon_condom

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Dockyard:

A physician’s garden.

physician's garden

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A guy was confused about why the doctors had amputated his arms and legs.

In fact he was stumped.

amputated his arms

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A man wakes up on a deserted island

only to find that the sun, sand and sea are all purple.

He cried: “Oh no, I’ve been marooned!”

marooned

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Men need to stop telling jokes about women’s menstrual cycle!

Period.

women's menstrual cycle

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My girlfriend said that she’s leaving me,

because of my constant grass related puns.

I told her to sod off.

sod

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My wife gave me a lecture about

my obsession with mythical creature puns.

It didn’t half Dragon.

dragon

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A nine-year-old lad walks into a pub and yells at the barmaid for a Scotch on the rocks.

‘Do you want to get me into trouble?’ she replies.

‘Maybe later,’ says the boy, ‘but now I just want a drink’.

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Do You Have To Fail A Test To Get On These Programs?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Another round of answers given by less than smart contestants on television and radio quiz shows.

It all makes me wonder what test do you have to do to get on these shows?

And does passing rule you out of taking part in the programs?

Enjoy.

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Q: Name a city in Arizona          

A: Tampa Bay

Q: Someone, living or dead, many people hate  

A: Rodney Dangerfield   

Q: Name a foreign country that you would want to visit  

A: Pakistan

Q: Name a holiday named after a person           

A: January

A: Easter

Q: The perfect dessert for a supermodel           

A: Chocolate Cake

A: Brownies      

Q: The most famous Disney character, other than Mickey Mouse

A: The road runner

Q: Name a city that begins with “San”    

A: Seattle

Q: An occupation requiring a college degree      

A: Vice president          

Q: An animal that starts with “D,” besides “dog”

A: Dragon

A: Dachshund   

Q: Name something people buy to impress other people           

A: Motorhome   

Q: The most enjoyable award show on television           

A ……….Family Feud (She heard “game show”)  

Q: Name a country in Africa      

A: South America

Q: Name something people drink when they have a cold

A: Vick’s

Q: Name a city named after a president 

A: Carson City  

Q: Name a man’s “best friend”  

A: Rubies


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And then I found this. Sorry!

A Long Love Affair

“Flight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

 

Yesterday’s post was really about a couple of funny helpline incidents. But by way of introducing it I started to talk about my love affair and history with computers. Well I didn’t stop thinking about that when I finished yesterday’s blog post and so another post was born.

I hope you find this at least a little bit interesting. Obviously I do because I lived through it. To younger readers I’m sure it won’t mean much, but maybe they can have a laugh at the archaic crap that at the time we all thought was just the greatest thing ever – and actually at the time so it was.

As I said yesterday, my first experiences with computers were on the big mainframes. We had them in university and quite honestly the stuff we were doing on them in those days you could probably do on a good scientific calculator now. But there we were punching cards and working out mathematical formulae and getting results that I’m sure no one understood or cared about but us. (I probably wouldn’t even understand them now either!)

Here are a couple of pictures of the big machines. Younger readers will note the handy compact hard disks used to store information!

Hard Drive
Hard Drives In The Good Old Days

 

Compare the size with one of today’s disks

Yesterday and Today
Yesterday and Today

 

My first tussle with the big boys was on something resembling this

mainframes
mainframes

 

And we inputted our data via either these punch cards

IBM Punch Card
IBM Punch Card

 

Or via these teletype machines that I called the “chuggers” in yesterday’s post (notice the paper tape at the left hand side that made everything work!)

teletype computer interface
teletype computer interface

 

Then the personal computer era began.

My first introduction to that was a Commodore PET. It was around 1977 or 1978, I think. A fellow student and friend of mine at the time, a Malaysian Chinese guy who’s family were super rich (I don’t think he ever told them the proper exchange rate so his monthly allowance was huge!) bought one of the first of these machines and he loaned it to me for a few days when he was away on vacation.

I was enthralled. Dear knows why. If you look at the video at the end of this post you’ll see just how basic the technology was.

But ignorance is bliss. There was nothing better around.

The Commodore PET
The Commodore PET

 

Needless to say I could not afford a Commodore PET, nor for that matter an Apple II which was making its debut at more or less the same time and was vastly overpriced as Apple stuff still is. In it’s defense the Apple II was a cut above the norm even in those days as regards looks and it had a floppy drive (which I think you had to buy as an optional extra) instead of the awful cassette tapes.

The Apple II System
The Apple II System

 

But something that I could afford was the budget priced, but very, very basic Sinclair ZX81. To call it a computer nowadays is a bit of a joke, it had little or no memory, you needed a cassette tape deck, and a television to help it along, and it hadn’t even a real keyboard. But it did come in kit form and was fun to build and do basic Basic programming on.

Sinclair ZX81
Sinclair ZX81

 

Of course my thirst for bigger and better machines was only getting started. Next I was on to something called a Dragon 32, which as the name implied had a massive 32k of memory  –  yes, you young ‘uns, I said 32k, as in kilo  –  of memory. There was talk at the time that the company were working on a 64k version, but hardly anyone believed that a machine with such a vast memory was possible or even desirable!

The Dragon 32 was another one fired up by a cassette tape and a tv screen connection, but it was okay for learing more programming skills and there were plenty of games available that amused everyone at the time.

The Dragon 32 with a massive 32k of memory!
The Dragon 32 with a massive 32k of memory!

 

Then for me came an epiphany, computer-wise. I was about to put my trusty, and maybe a little rusty, typewriter aside. I bought an Amstrad 8256 word processor. It allegedly could handle other tasks as well, but it was primarily a word-processing machine and it did that job pretty well and reliably using its inbuilt Logoscript software. You could store letters and documents on its floppy disks and it had its own printer as part of the bundle. All in all a good piece of kit for the time.

The Amstrad 8256 Wordprocessor
The Amstrad 8256 Word-processor

 

A while after that the whole game changed. And the game changer was the graphical user interface, GUI, and the mouse.

DOS was dead. We would no longer have to plow our way through screens like this

DOS type screen interface
DOS type screen interface

 

The Xerox 8010 Star Information System in 1981 was the first to use it.

Xerox Star 8010
Xerox Star 8010

 

But Xerox didn’t see the potential and didn’t capitalize on it.  Steve Jobs and Apple did, and the Mackintosh released in about 1984 was the first to perfect its use commercially. It was a major change and brought computing into the reach of ordinary people instead of just the computer nerds and geeks.

The Apple Macintosh
The Apple Macintosh

 

Microsoft Windows soon dominated the PC end of the market with their 3.1 version doing a reasonably good job. Later versions like Windows 95, 98 and the appalling ME versions were rushed out and unstable. And, having learned nothing they followed that with a similarly unprepared Vista. All that did nothing for the reputation of the company.

They have made a lot of ground up with Windows 7 and 8 which seem to be a lot better both with regard to stability and functionality. And nowadays if you really hate windows you can run PC machines in linux based operating systems, just look for the penguin.

linux logo
linux logo

 

From the mid 1980s the PC market exploded. Many companies large and small, from the IBMs to brand new budget manufacturers (or rather, assemblers) were born. They all did basically the same job, used the same internal hardware and software and had internal hard drives that would store up to 100MB (yes, mega bites) and up to 4MB of RAM.

At first they looked like this

PC version 1 - IBM-PC-XT1
PC version 1 – IBM-PC-XT1

 

And then this

PC version 2 - Fujitsu
PC version 2 – Fujitsu

 

And then this

PC modern generic desktop design
PC modern generic desktop design

 

I had versions like pictures two and three. In fact I still have one of what I’ve called the modern generic desktop design in my office today.  Of course the processing speeds and memory capacities of both the hard drives and the RAM have increased dramatically. Now it is not unusual to be able to buy a desktop computer with at least a terrabyte of hard drive storage and 8 GB (yes, giga bytes) of RAM, as well as extremely fast multi processors and large high definition flat screens.

All in all a great improvement. A lot of it not really necessary for the average user who just uses their computer for a bit of word processing and to surf the internet, but when it comes to computers most of us kinda have to have the best spec we can afford, rather than what we actually need.

And there was another revolution in computers. This one really took off during the late 1990s and it was the increasing popularity of the laptop. In earlier years the laptop had been the preserve of the business community and were priced accordingly,  usually well out of the reach of the average consumer. As well as that the spec was well below that of contemporary desktop machines and no one like to pay more for less.

Then a few things sort of coincided. We had the near saturation of the desktop market with a subsequent slowing down of new sales. The cost of component parts like processors and memory consequently dropped as demand tailed off. And some of the smarter manufacturers saw this as an opportunity to create a brand new market that would allow them to sell affordable laptops with a near desktop spec to the same market that had previously only been interested, and could only afford, the bigger desktop computers.

I seldom if ever use my desktop at all now. All my work is done on my laptop. When I travel it comes with me. I’m writing this blog post on one like this right now

ASUS laptop computer
ASUS laptop computer

 

ASUS is a good machine. But I’ve also had laptops from Toshiba, Sony, Acer and Dell and for me they all worked perfectly fine.

As for the future?

Who knows?

Now that Steve Jobs is no longer with us will someone else invent things that no one wants, and that no one needs, and sell it to them at inflated prices, while generating their love and gratitude for it? Maybe, but I doubt it. I think that Jobs was unique in that respect. He was in the right place at the right time and the right man to take advantage.

What I can envisage is the continued development of faster and better processing; better internet communication speeds with more mobility; infinite storage capacity in the “cloud”; greater integration of all the bits and bobs we have at our disposal; and easier operation of it all through more voice activated control.

The future I think will be every bit as interesting as the past. If some ballax with an EMP device doesn’t fry all our chips, that is!

I kept my old typewriter just in case.

 

Finally, some hysterical historical videos.

Enjoy!

 

 

Commodore PET circa 1977


 

 

Apple II circa 1977

 

Sinclair ZX81

 

Amstrad ad circa 1985