Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport, Its Quiz Day!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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For those of you who find the title a little obscure Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport is one of the best-known and most successful songs from Australia, inspired by Harry Belafonte’s calypsos, it is about an Australian stockman on his deathbed.

It also provides a handy link to question one.

As for this and the rest of the questions, if you get stuck you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating.

Enjoy and good luck.

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quiz 06

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Q.  1.  What is a young kangaroo called?

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Q.  2. The temple complex of Angkor Wat is situated in which country?

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Q.  3.  What is commonly used in a rectifier to convert alternating current to direct current?

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Q.  4.  Which creature gives birth to the largest young?

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Q.  5.  What do you call the peninsular leisure/entertainment destination found  in the southwestern part of the borough of Brooklyn, New York?

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Q.  6.  What is a bathometer?

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Q.  7.  Cobnuts and filberts come from what species of tree?

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Q.  8.  What country is surrounded by Kzahkstan, Uzbekistan, Tajikistan and China?

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Q.  9.  About which bird did Percy Bysshe Shelley write ‘Hail to Thee, blithe spirit!’?

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Q. 10.  Who wrote the play ‘Blithe Spirit’ which took its title from Shelley’s poem?

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Q. 11.  What is a ‘cattle grid’ (UK/Ireland), a ‘stock grid’ (Australia), or a ‘cattle guard’ (America) used for?

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Q. 12.  What recently deceased actor was ‘Doctor Zhivago’ in the 1965 movie?

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Q. 13.  What nationality was ‘Doctor Zhivago’?

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Q. 14.  ‘Old Man’s Beard’ and ‘Traveller’s Joy’ are names for a variety of which flower?

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Q. 15.  What is manufactured by the Haber process?

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Q. 16.  Which novel opens: “It was 348 years, six months and 19 days ago today that the citizens of Paris were awakened by the pealing of all the bells in the triple precincts of the City, the University and the Town”; and who wrote it? (A point for each correct answer.)

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Q. 17.  What are the names of the first and the fifth planets in our solar system?

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Q. 18.  No battle was fought here, yet, it was the turning point of the American Revolutionary War and is now commemorated as a National Park. What is its name and in which state is it located? (A point for each correct answer.)

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Q. 19.  Who won the Ladies Singles Championship at Wimbledon 2015?

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Q. 20.  This word can mean the name of a beverage made from fruit juice and soda water, part of the name of a well-known vegetable, a sport, or the act of silencing or suppressing – what is it?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1.  What is a young kangaroo called?

A.  1.  Joey.

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Q.  2. The temple complex of Angkor Wat is situated in which country?

A.  2. Cambodia.

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Q.  3.  What is commonly used in a rectifier to convert alternating current to direct current?

A.  3.  A ‘Diode’.

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Q.  4.  Which creature gives birth to the largest young?

A.  4.  Blue Whale – 8 metres and 2,700 kg at birth. In the first 7 to 8 months they reach 16 metres and weigh about 21,000 kg.

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Q.  5.  What do you call the peninsular leisure/entertainment destination found  in the southwestern part of the borough of Brooklyn, New York?

A.  5.  It is called ‘Coney Island’.

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Q.  6.  What is a bathometer?

A.  6.  It is an instrument for indicating the depth of the sea beneath a moving vessel. You can have the point if you said depth gage or something to measure depth of water.

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Q.  7.  Cobnuts and filberts come from what species of tree?

A.  7.  From the Hazel tree.

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Q.  8.  What country is surrounded by Kzahkstan, Uzbekistan, Tajikistan and China?

A.  8.  Kyrgzstan.

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Q.  9.  About which bird did Percy Bysshe Shelley write ‘Hail to Thee, blithe spirit!’?

A.  9.  A skylark (in To a Skylark).

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Q. 10.  Who wrote the play ‘Blithe Spirit’ which took its title from Shelley’s poem?

A. 10.  Noël Coward.

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Q. 11.  What is a ‘cattle grid’ (UK/Ireland), a ‘stock grid’ (Australia), or a ‘cattle guard’ (America) used for?

A. 11.  It is used as a barrier that allows vehicles to pass, but not cattle.

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Q. 12.  What recently deceased actor was ‘Doctor Zhivago’ in the 1965 movie?

A. 12.  Omar Sharif.

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Q. 13.  What nationality was ‘Doctor Zhivago’?

A. 13.  Russian.

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Q. 14.  ‘Old Man’s Beard’ and ‘Traveller’s Joy’ are names for a variety of which flower?

A. 14.  The Clematis.

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Q. 15.  What is manufactured by the Haber process?

A. 15.  Ammonia.

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Q. 16.  Which novel opens: “It was 348 years, six months and 19 days ago today that the citizens of Paris were awakened by the pealing of all the bells in the triple precincts of the City, the University and the Town”; and who wrote it? (A point for each correct answer.)

A. 16.  Notre Dame de Paris (also known as The Hunchback of Notre Dame) by Victor Hugo

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Q. 17.  What are the names of the first and the fifth planets in our solar system?

A. 17.  The first is Mercury (the smallest, now Pluto has been demoted) and the fifth is Jupiter (the largest).

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Q. 18.  No battle was fought here, yet, it was the turning point of the American Revolutionary War and is now commemorated as a National Park. What is its name and in which state is it located? (A point for each correct answer.)

A. 18.  It is Valley Forge located approximately 20 miles northwest of Philadelphia, in Pennsylvania.

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Q. 19.  Who won the Ladies Singles Championship at Wimbledon 2015?

A. 19.  Serena Williams.

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Q. 20.  This word can mean the name of a beverage made from fruit juice and soda water, part of the name of a well-known vegetable, a sport, or the act of silencing or suppressing – what is it?

A. 20.  Squash.

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Another Monday Quiz!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It’s another Monday quiz, but you are quite at liberty to try it any day of the week that you want.

Some quite easy questions in this selection, but also some that will make you stop and think.

If you get stuck the answers are, as always, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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Quiz 07

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Q.  1:  What animal sleeps standing up?

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Q.  2:  By what common name is solid carbon dioxide known?

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Q.  3:  The name of what flower means ‘fleshlike’?

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Q.  4:  In golf, what term is given to completing a hole in two under par?

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Q.  5:  This word is the name of a chain of hills or mountains, a Spanish mackerel, and a word used in communications to represent the letter ‘S’, what is it?

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Q.  6:  Which element has the atomic Number 1?

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Q.  7:  What is the distance between the two rails on a railway track called?

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Q.  8:  Mauritius is found in which ocean?

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Q.  9:  Who was the first, and who is the current, President of the Russian Federation? (A point for each correct answer and a bonus point if you name both correctly.)

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Q. 10:  The ‘sackbut’ was a precursor to which musical instrument?

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Q. 11:  Which 1851 novel was first published in Britain under the title ‘The Whale’? (A bonus point is available if you can also correctly name the author.)

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Q. 12:  What is the traditional date for the founding of Rome?

            a)  735BC                b)  753BC               c)  573BC

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Q. 13:  Who painted ‘The Laughing Cavalier’? (You can have a bonus point if you know why he was laughing.)

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Q. 14:  The ‘Spanish Steps’ are found in which city?

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Q. 15:  What type of tree is often found in churchyards?

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Q. 16:  Relating to flat-screen televisions and monitors, what does ‘LCD’ stand for?

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Q. 17:  What is the highest digit that can appear in an ‘Octal’ number system?

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Q. 18:  Which gladiator led a two-year slave revolt against the Romans?

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Q. 19:  In weather, regions of high pressure are also known as what?

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Q. 20:  Who was ‘Dreaming’ about ‘California’ in 1965?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  What animal sleeps standing up?

A.  1:  A horse.

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Q.  2:  By what common name is solid carbon dioxide known?

A.  2:  It is known as ‘Dry Ice’.

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Q.  3:  The name of what flower means ‘fleshlike’?

A.  3:  The carnation.

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Q.  4:  In golf, what term is given to completing a hole in two under par?

A.  4:  It is called an ‘Eagle’.

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Q.  5:  This word is the name of a chain of hills or mountains, a Spanish mackerel, and a word used in communications to represent the letter ‘S’, what is it?

A.  5:  Sierra.

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Q.  6:  Which element has the atomic Number 1?

A.  6:  Hydrogen.

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Q.  7:  What is the distance between the two rails on a railway track called?

A.  7:  It is known as the ‘Gauge’.

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Q.  8:  Mauritius is found in which ocean?

A.  8:  In the Indian Ocean.

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Q.  9:  Who was the first, and who is the current, President of the Russian Federation? (A point for each correct answer and a bonus point if you name both correctly.)

A.  9:  The first President of the Russian Federation was Boris Yeltsin (1991–1999) and the current President is, of course, Vladimir Putin (2nd tenure 2012–present).

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Q. 10:  The ‘sackbut’ was a precursor to which musical instrument?

A. 10:  The trombone.

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Q. 11:  Which 1851 novel was first published in Britain under the title ‘The Whale’? (A bonus point is available if you can also correctly name the author.)

A. 11:  Moby Dick written by Herman Melville.

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Q. 12:  What is the traditional date for the founding of Rome?

            a)  735BC                b)  753BC               c)  573BC

A. 12:  The correct answer is b) 753BC.

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Q. 13:  Who painted ‘The Laughing Cavalier’? (You can have a bonus point if you know why he was laughing.)

A. 13:  The artist was Frans Hals (and I have no idea why the Cavalier was laughing, a well earned bonus point if you do.)

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Q. 14:  The ‘Spanish Steps’ are found in which city?

A. 14:  Rome.

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Q. 15:  What type of tree is often found in churchyards?

A. 15:  The Yew tree.

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Q. 16:  Relating to flat-screen televisions and monitors, what does ‘LCD’ stand for?

A. 16:  Liquid Crystal Display.

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Q. 17:  What is the highest digit that can appear in an ‘Octal’ number system?

A. 17:  7.

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Q. 18:  Which gladiator led a two-year slave revolt against the Romans?

A. 18:  Spartacus.

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Q. 19:  In weather, regions of high pressure are also known as what?

A. 19:  Anticyclones.

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Q. 20:  Who was ‘Dreaming’ about ‘California’ in 1965?

A. 20:  The Mamas & the Papas.

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You Can’t Just Be Cremated – You Have To Urn It!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Like it says in the title, nothing is free these days.

Except for puns that is.

You just can’t put a price on that level of enjoyment!

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Guy #1:  “I’m stuck with one word on this crossword,

the clue is a 10 letter word, similar to being silly”

Guy #2:  “Oh, that’s ridiculous”

Guy #1:  “I know, I’ve been stuck on it for hours”.

pun crossword_puzzle

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I’ve put in so many shifts where I work recently

that they’ve decided to fire me.

Making keyboards isn’t as easy as it looks.

pun shift_key

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My sister had a baby boy and

she’s gonna name him Mark, but with a “C”.

Who ever heard of someone called “Cark”?

pun cartoon_baby

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The manager of the toy shop I work at phoned me and said:

“Steve, our stock records show that we’re missing a space hopper.

I need you to find it for me.”

I said, “Don’t worry boss, I’m on it.”

pun space-hopper

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Google Chrome

All you’ll get is a description of a metal.

pun google-chrome-metal-text-effect

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The head teacher at my school called me in to his office today.

He said, “I’ve just had a rock thrown through my window, are you responsible?”

I replied, “No, I’m irresponsible. That’s why I threw it.”

pun Boy_Broken_Window

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Woke up this morning and my joints were really stiff.

I’ve only got myself to blame: I rolled them far too thick.

pun joints

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For my next trick, I will eat a percussion instrument in a bap.

Drum roll, please.

pun drum roll

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I bought a tree at the garden center that was far too big to get in the car,

so we had to cut the top off.

I didn’t really mind though,

I’ve always wanted a convertible.

pun car tree

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My girlfriend said it would be nice if I could maintain an erection.

So I’ve volunteered to clean bird crap off the Statue of Liberty.

pun statue of liberty

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I saw a busker with no arms today singing so badly

I offered him five bucks to stop.

But that was just another note he couldn’t hold.

pun five_dollar_bill

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I do not have an OCD over tidiness.

I just wanted to clear that up.

pun ocd

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My Korean friend was going to cook his wife a surprise birthday dinner.

But someone let the cat out of the bag.

pun cat out of the bag

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I’m planning a camping holiday but, I have to say,

I’m far from impressed with my travel insurance.

It turns out if someone steals my tent in the night,

I’ll no longer be covered.

pun stolen Tent

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What are long, hard and delicious?

Adjectives.

pun adjectives

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I find nothing is quite so annoying as having someone

carry on talking while you’re trying to interrupt.

pun interrupt

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Apparently 80% of people who have cosmetic surgery

are disappointed by the results.

Which is a bit odd,

because most of them look pleasantly surprised.

pun facelift

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I was waiting in line for a club last night

and the guy at the door was checking IDs.

He was taking ages.

pun standing in line

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Is anyone else tired,

or is it just M.E.?

pun myalgic encephalomyelitis

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My friend’s new girlfriend has been around the block a few times…

Like most women, she’s crap at parking.

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It’s July 4th, You Know What Day That Is?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, you got it, it’s Pun Day.

And because Pun Day this year happens to fall on July 4th, here’s a special Independence word play edition.

Enjoy this festive edition!

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What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?

The Americans licked the British!

stamp-act-cartoon

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Why did the British cross the Atlantic?

To get to the other tide!

Valcour bay

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What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly-haired dog?

A Yankee Poodle Dandy!

Yankee Poodle Dandy

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Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?

Yeah, it cracked me up!

Liberty_Bell_2008
The Liberty Bell

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What would Americans get if they crossed George Washington with cattle feed?

The fodder of their Country!

fodder-cow

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Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?

At the chopping mall!

chopping_mall

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What was General Washington’s favorite tree?

The infantry!

Washington  Infrantry color seal d

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What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?

Liber-Tea!

LIBERTEA-2a

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Which colonists told the most jokes?

Punsylvanians!

Pennsylvania-SC

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What did a patriot put on his dry skin?

Revo-lotion!

revolutionary war scene

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What dance was very popular in 1776?

Indepen-dance!

Patriotic Dance

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Which one of Washington’s officers had the best sense of humor?

Laughayette!

lafayette
Marquis de La Fayette served as a major-general in the Continental Army under George Washington and was a leader of the Garde nationale during the French Revolution.

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What was Thomas Jefferson’s favourite dessert?

Monti jello!

Thomas_Jefferson's_Monticello_Estate
Thomas Jefferson’s Monticello Estate

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What did King George think of the American colonists?

He thought they were revolting!

King George

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Why were the early American settlers like ants?

Because they lived in colonies.

Colonial America
Colonial America

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What has feathers, webbed feet, and certain inalienable rights?

The Ducklaration of Independence!

It's no longer about governing. It's about controlling.

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What would you get if you crossed the American national bird with Snoopy?

A bald beagle!

BaldBeagle

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What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?

The Battle of Bonkers Hill.

Battle of Bunker Hill

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom!

Declaration of Independence signatures

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Did you hear about the cartoonist in the Continental Army?

He was a Yankee doodler!

Yankee Doodle

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What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1773?

The Boston Flea Party!

flea party

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What would you get if you crossed Washington’s home with nasty insects?

Mt. Vermin!

Mount Vernon
Washington’s Mount Vernon Estate

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Which son of old Virginia wrote the Declaration of Independence?

I think it was Thomas Jeffer’s son.

Thomas Jefferson
Thomas Jefferson’s words and hopes. How far have the present leaders of America strayed from those lofty and laudable goals?

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Did You Know? Another Rummage Through The Fasab Fact Files

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Hello again and welcome to another rummage through the fasab fact files.

As random as ever, this selection covers many centuries and many countries so you should find something of interest.

Enjoy.

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Did You Know 4

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1 in 5 of the world’s doctors are Russian.

RAMA

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The Nullarbor Plain of Australia covers

100,000 square miles (160,900 km) without a tree.

Nullarbor_plain

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In 1933, Mickey Mouse, an animated cartoon character,

received 800,000 fan letters.

Mickey Mouse

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Nerve impulses to and from the brain

travel as fast as 170 miles (274 km) per hour.

neurons-120208

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Ancient Egyptians shaved off their eyebrows

to mourn the deaths of their cats.

egypt

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Canadian researchers have found that

Einstein’s brain was 15% wider than normal.

brain_jar

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Isaac Asimov is the only author

to have a book in every Dewey-decimal category.

IsaacAsimov

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The shortest British monarch was Charles I,

who was 4 feet 9 inches.

King_Charles_I_by_Antoon_van_Dyck

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Sigmund Freud had a morbid fear of ferns.

(Something to do with his mother no doubt!)

sigmund-freud

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Camels chew in a figure 8 pattern.

camel-chewing-cud

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In space, astronauts cannot cry,

because there is no gravity,

so the tears can’t flow.

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There are 1,792 steps in the Eiffel Tower

 Eiffel Tower

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A silicon chip a quarter inch square

has the capacity of the original 1949 ENIAC computer,

which occupied a city block.

Silicon chip

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About a third of all Americans flush the toilet

while they’re still sitting on it.

 woman-sitting-on-toilet

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Actor Tommy Lee Jones and vice president Al Gore

were freshman roommates at Harvard.

 Tommy Lee Jones and Al Gore college shot

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In eighteenth century England,

women’s wigs were sometimes 4 feet high.

These remarkable headdresses were dusted with flour

and decorated with stuffed birds, replicas of gardens,

plates of fruit, or even model ships.

 18th Century hairstyles

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In 1976 a Los Angeles secretary named Jannene Swift

officially married a 50 pound rock.

The ceremony was witnessed by more than 20 people.

Woman marries rock

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In Tokyo, they sell toupees for dogs.

dogs-with-toupees

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John has a long moustache was the coded signal

used by the French Resistance in WWII

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Another Bunch Of Interesting Things You Probably Never Thought About – Until Now!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”.

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As the title says, another  list of interesting bits and pieces that you may not have though about until now.

Feel free to whip them out and impress people if and when the occasion arises.

Enjoy.

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The tip of a bullwhip moves so fast that the sound it makes is actually a tiny sonic boom.

Bullwhip

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Only 1 in 2,000,000,000 people will live to be 116 or old.

old-couple-cartoon

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Dogs and humans are the only species that have prostates.

prostate cartoon

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The zebra is basically a light-colored animal with black stripes.

cartoon_zebra

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Natural pearls melt in Vinegar.

Pearl1

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The greatest weight lifted with a human tongue is 12.5 kg (27 lb 8.96 oz)

by Thomas Blackthorne (UK)

who lifted the weight hooked through his tongue

on the set of El Show Olímpico, in Mexico City, Mexico, on 1 August 2008.

Thomas Blackthorne

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Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

personal ad cartoon

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Americans are responsible for about 1/5 of the world’s garbage annually

(and 2/3 of it is from Washington).

garbage

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The dot over the letter “i” is called a tittle.

letter-i

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There are 318,979,564,000 possible combinations of the first four moves in Chess.

chessboard setup

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The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the USA”.

Born In The USA

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IBM’s motto is “Think”.

Apple later made their motto “Think different”.

ibm-vs-apple

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The Michelin man is known as Mr. Bib.

His name was Bibendum in the company’s first ads in 1896.

michelin_man

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There are more types of insects in one tropical rain forest tree

than there are in the entire state of Vermont.

insects

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An ostrich’s eye might not be bigger than its belly,

but it is bigger than its brain.

cartoon-ostrich-7

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Earth is the only planet in our solar system not named after a god;

it was named by God.

Genesis 1 King James Version (KJV)

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

earth

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More Dumb Quiz Show Answers

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I thought we were coming to an end of these, but it seems there are still a few more intellectual gems to be discovered.

Have a look at this latest selection from the quiz show contestants who should have stayed at home.

Enjoy.

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Q:  In botany, what is the scientific term for a plant that lives for more than two years?

A:  A tree

Yosemite NP - Giant Sequoia - California Tree

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Q:  What “E” is the world’s highest mountain?

A:  Everglades

everglades-np

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Q:  George Bernard Shaw called this condition “the greatest of evils and the worst of crimes.”

A:  What is marriage?

marriage-cartoon

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Q:  Name a country in South America

A:  Africa

A:  Rio De Janeiro

A:  Spain

A:  Fiji

A:  Armenia

A:  Saudi Arabia

south-america

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Q:  Name something you squeeze

A:  Peanut butter

peanut-butter

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Q:  Name a planet you recognize just by looking at a picture of it

A:  The Moon

moon

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Q:  Name something you often misplace in your car

A:  Steering wheel

steering wheel

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Q:  Besides an airplane, name something man-made that flies

A:  A jet

cartoon jet

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Q:  Name something that doesn’t work without water

A:  Ice cream cone

icecream_cone.

 

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Q:  Name a noisy bird

A:  Chipmunk

chipmunk

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Q:  Name something a duck and a chicken have in common

A:  They quack

quack s doodle doo

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Q:  Name a happy occasion where you feel a little let down when it’s over

A:  Funeral

Cartoon funeral

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Q:  Name a male dancer

A:  Betty Grable

betty-grable-jukebox-75

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Q:  The birthday that men dread the most

A:  Their wife’s

wife's birthday

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Q:  Name a children’s story about an animal

A:  David and Goliath

David Goliath cartoon

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Q:  Something that’s murder to clean up when you spill it           

A:  Blood

blood_spill1

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Q:  Name a measurement of time

A:  Watch

hourglass

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Q:  Something associated with Cuba

A:  It’s in South America

cuban-cigar

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Q:  Name a movie with the word “King” in it

A:  King Dracula

dracula

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CLASSIFIED: For Your Eyes Only, Part Four!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Here is installment four of the classified ads. The place where Joe Public gets a chance to show off his or her marketing skills to the world at large.

I’m sure a lot of these were read and reread and drafted and redrafted a number of time to create the perfection that they clearly are.

And I’ve included a nice romantic one at the end for all you ladies.

Enjoy.

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Punitive, Punishing, Or Just Punny? – Here Are Some More Puns

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

 

Another excuse for more bad jokes using the cover of some clever word plays called puns.

Enjoy – if you can.

 

 

You didn’t hear about the three big holes in the ground?

Well, well, well.

 

 

Even a backward poet writes inverse.

 

 

It was raining cats and dogs.

There were poodles all over the road.

 

 

When chemists die, we barium.

 

 

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?

He’s all right now.

 

 

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang,

but eventually it came back to me.

 

 

I used to have a fear of hurdles,

but I got over it.

 

 

It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle,

he just didn’t have the balls to do it.

 

 

He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.

 

 

Some people’s noses and feet are built backwards:

their feet smell and their noses run.

 

 

Then there was the cross-eyed teacher who couldn’t control his pupils.

 

 

When a clock is hungry does it go back four seconds?

 

 

Have you heard about that online origami store?

It folded.

 

 

A prisoner’s favorite punctuation mark is the period.

It marks the end of his sentence.

 

 

Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends,

but what would be the point?

 

 

Atheists can’t solve exponential equations because they don’t believe in higher powers.

 

 

It is tough to do inventories in Afghanistan because of the tally ban.

 

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Little Dumb And Large Dumber

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


Are there some people who are too dumb to live?

It’s an interesting, if not much asked, question.

Certainly people do get killed in unusual ways. Of course that is not always their fault. Sometimes they are the victims of circumstances beyond their control. No one can plan for the drunken idiot who slams his car into another. Nor should we live our lives in fear of such things. Take as much care as necessary without impacting on your own life and enjoyment is the best we can do. And usually that is more than enough to get us by.

Back to the initial question.

I think there is a lot of evidence to show that there are indeed some people who are just too dumb to live. There’s a thing called the Darwin Awards that every year highlights some of the people who have, as they put it, strengthened the gene pool by doing away with themselves under the stupidest of circumstances. Some of them are very amusing indeed and I hope to feature other examples in this blog from time to time.

This one is about two people meeting their end in a peculiar, and for the rest of us, funny way.

It happened in the little town (called a city) of George, in Grant County, Washington. As well as being a play on the President’s name, George, Washington, with a population of little over 500, is famous for the similarly sounding Gorge Amphitheatre. This is a 20,000+ seat concert venue located above the Columbia River, that offers lawn-terrace seating and “concert friendly weather”.

Actually it is considered to be one of the premier and most scenic concert locations in the US, and some say even the world. It has been the host to artists such as The Who, David Bowie, Coldplay, and Pearl Jam, the latter even releasing a box set album featuring their entire performances from 2005 and 2006.

However the group that caused the trouble for the two intrepid zeros who are the subject of today’s blog post was Metallica. When they were playing at The Gorge, Robert Uhlenake (24) and his friend, Ormond D. Young (27) decided they wanted to go along.

However, unable to get any tickets for the sold out gig the two instead decided to stay in a nearby parking lot and drink. By the time the show had started they had made their way through eighteen beers.

That was when they did something that stupid people, especially drunk stupid people, should never do.

Yes, they hit upon an idea.

And that idea was to scale the seven foot wooden security fence around the perimeter of the site and sneak in. The rest of the plan involved moving their truck up to the edge of the fence, get on top of it and simply jump over the fence.

So far, so good.

Then they decided that Young would go over first and assist Uhlenake later.

Again, so far, so good.

But what they had not figured into their plan was that, while the fence was seven feet high on the parking lot side, there was a twenty-three foot drop on the other side.

Young, who weighed around 255 lbs and was quite inebriated, jumped up and over the fence and promptly fell about half the twenty-three foot distance before a large tree branch broke his fall AND his left forearm.

Not content with that he also managed to get his shorts caught on the branch.

There’s a kind of a rule in life, I don’t know whose it is (it’s not Murphy’s, maybe I’ll claim it for fasab if no one else has it), that when things start to go wrong they have a tendency to keep on going from bad to worse. So it was for young Mr Young.

He was now in a lot of pain and his broken arm made it impossible for him to extricate himself and his shorts from the tree in the normal manner. But hanging there and looking at the bushes down below, he thought the thing to do was to cut his shorts off and fall to the ground. The soft bushes would cushion the impact of his fall.

This he did and when he cut the last bit of fabric from himself, he suddenly plummeted to earth.

As he did so he also lost his grip of the knife.

The “soft” bushes that Young had cleverly spotted from fifteen foot up in the air hanging from the branch were actually holly bushes and landing in them caused a massive number of cuts, and jags.

All that would have been bad enough for a mere mortal but Young wasn’t done yet.

He also had the misfortune of landing squarely on a holly bush branch; effectively impaling himself.

Then the knife, which he had accidentally released fifteen foot above where he landed, now joined him stabbing him in his left thigh.

Apparently, he was in a lot of pain.

Enter his friend Robert to the rescue.

Robert Uhlenake had apparently observed the last bit of this fiasco and, despite his inebriated state, had the awareness to realized that his fiend Young was in trouble.

Then he also did that thing that stupid drunk people should never do.

He hit upon the idea too, this time of lowering a rope to his friend and pulling him up and over the fence.

The problem with this plan was that Uhlenake was outweighed by his friend by a good 100 lbs. But undaunted by this he was still determined on a rescue bid and figured he could use their truck to pull his friend Young back up.

Unfortunately, because of his state, Uhlenake put the truck in reverse, rather than drive, broke through the fence, landed on Young (killing him), and subsequently died of internal injuries himself.

The two were found dead at the Gorge Amphitheater after the show. Uhlenake was in the pickup that was on top of Young at the bottom of a 20 ft drop. Young was found with severe lacerations, numerous fractures, contusions, and a branch in his anal cavity. He also had been stabbed and his pants were in a tree above him, some 15 ft off the ground.

For a while it was a mystery but the story as outlined above was eventually pieced together.

The final words on the story should perhaps go to Commissioner Appleton who summed it all up saying,

“So that’s how a dead 255 lb man with no pants on, with a truck on top of him and a stick up his ass came to be”.