More Stupid Signs By Stupid People For Stupid People.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Catering for the lowest common denominator in intelligence can be very frustrating for the rest of us.

But apparently stupidity has reached levels today where stupid people will hurt themselves with things that shouldn’t hurt them, if they had the wit to understand what they were and how use them properly.

Personally I think there is some merit in letting them get on with it and perhaps thereby gradually eliminating chronic stupidity from the gene pool.

In the meantime all we can do is cringe and laugh.

Here are some more.

Enjoy.

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stupidity is contageous sign

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“Not to be used as a personal flotation device.”

On a 6 x 10 inch inflatable picture frame.

 inflatable picture frame

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“Do not put in mouth.”

On a box of bottle rockets.

 bottle rockets

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“Remove plastic before eating.”

On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.

 Fruit Roll-Up snack

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“Not dishwasher safe.”

On a remote control for a TV.

 remote control for a TV

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“For lifting purposes only.”

On the box for a car jack.

 car jack

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“Do not put lit candles on phone.”

On the instructions for a cordless phone.

 lit candles

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“Warning! This is not underwear!

Do not attempt to put in pants.”

On the packaging for a wristwatch.

 packaging for a wristwatch

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“Safe for use around pets.”

On a box of Arm & Hammer Cat Litter.

 Arm & Hammer Cat Litter

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“No stopping or standing.”

A sign at bus stops everywhere.

 No stopping or standing

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“Do not sit under coconut trees.”

A sign on a coconut palm in a

West Palm Beach park circa 1950.

 Do not sit under coconut trees

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“These rows reserved for parents with children.”

A sign in a church.

 parents with children

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“All cups leaving this store, whether

full or empty, must be paid for.”

A sign in a Cumberland Farms

in Hillsboro, New Hampshire.

 cups

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What Watch? Ten Watch. Such Much?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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You hear now and again on the media about criminal masterminds. And Hollywood is prone to making movies showing these master criminals pulling off some incredible heist or other, like the Ocean’s movie trilogy starring George Clooney and Brad Pitt.

But by and large most of the criminals out there are as dumb as they come, as was noted in previous posts, for example, “Some Of The Dumbest Getaways In History” or “Little Dumb And Large Dumber”.

What that says about the police whose capture rate for small time criminals is depressingly low is itself depressing.

Sometimes though, the criminals are so dumb that they catch themselves.

Such was the case recently in Dublin, Ireland when a blundering bomber attempted to place a bomb underneath a Volvo SUV belonging to a local businessman. I don’t know the reason for the attempted bombing and for the purposes of this post it doesn’t really matter.

What does matter is that the dunce planting the bomb under the vehicle was caught in his own explosion because….

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….wait for it….

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the bomb went off sooner than he expected since he had forgotten about the Daylight Saving Time change in Ireland last weekend and didn’t put his watch forward.

The injured criminal idiot was apparently seen stumbling from the scene “dripping in blood” and getting into a taxi on the junction of New Street and Clanbrassil Street in Dublin.

You can’t really make things like this up – and actually with morons like this on the lose you don’t have to.

One for the Darwin Awards if he has the decency to expire and remove himself from the gene pool.

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Jobs Blow For Sex Workers

 “Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Thought it was safe?

Sorry, pun day again folks.

Enjoy!

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Deja Moo:

The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.

deja-moo

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I’m not a complete idiot

Some parts are just missing.

I'm not a complete idiot

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The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

gene pool could use a little chlorine

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A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Old Coots Hangover The Wrath Of Grapes

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A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:

“A beer please, and one for the road.”

One-for-the-road

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Did you hear about the butcher backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.

a little behind in his work

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She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg,

but broke it off.

boyfriend with a wooden leg

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Without geometry, life is pointless.

without geometry

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Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Baker_Kneading_Dough

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I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

blanket-blanket-factory-folded-pun

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Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

cartoon_condom

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Dockyard:

A physician’s garden.

physician's garden

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A guy was confused about why the doctors had amputated his arms and legs.

In fact he was stumped.

amputated his arms

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A man wakes up on a deserted island

only to find that the sun, sand and sea are all purple.

He cried: “Oh no, I’ve been marooned!”

marooned

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Men need to stop telling jokes about women’s menstrual cycle!

Period.

women's menstrual cycle

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My girlfriend said that she’s leaving me,

because of my constant grass related puns.

I told her to sod off.

sod

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My wife gave me a lecture about

my obsession with mythical creature puns.

It didn’t half Dragon.

dragon

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A nine-year-old lad walks into a pub and yells at the barmaid for a Scotch on the rocks.

‘Do you want to get me into trouble?’ she replies.

‘Maybe later,’ says the boy, ‘but now I just want a drink’.

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