Veni, Vidi, Velcro… I Came, I Saw, I Stuck Around.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I hope you stick around too, because it’s another Pun Day.

You know the drill….

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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My little cousin has been diagnosed with an unusual case of OCD

where all he does all day is organize dinner plates by the year they were made,

It’s an extremely rare dish-order

spinning-plates

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I’ve written my own book

called 50 Shades of Gravy.

It’s very saucy.

gravy

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I’m an easy target for muggers.

Take it from me.

mugger

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I knew I had failed my Braille exam at the time.

It just felt wrong.

Braille exam

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“How’s your new stairlift nan?”

“It’s driving me up the wall.”

stairlift

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Just finished an experiment to find

the best cure for hiccups.

The result was a big surprise.

Hiccups-Scare

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I stabbed someone with a blunt pencil today.

It was an act of pointless violence.

blunt pencil

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I just took some pills and now my pupils look massive!

I really shouldn’t take hallucinogenic drugs while teaching.

The Simpsons Homer Dilated Pupil

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The wife would like us to feel a gentle and relaxing breeze

all over our bodies when we have sex.

I’m not a fan.

fan

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I thought I’d dug up an unknown

species of dinosaur in my back garden.

Excitedly I phoned the Natural History Museum,

but it turned out to be a fossil arm.

fossil arm

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Do you think eating horse meat

would give you the trots?

the trots

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I got my girlfriend the Connery and Dalton

James Bond movies for her birthday,

but she wasn’t happy.

I think she was expecting Moore.

roger_moore___007

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Hungry astronomers don’t like galaxies,

they prefer something that’s a little meteor.

meteor

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I have an Eskimo fetish,

but most people just aren’t that Inuit.

Selawik-Eskimo-Woman

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I’ve booked a table at one of those new

Elvis Presley-themed steakhouses.

They’re for people who love meat tender.

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Did You Know? – Another Round Of Fabulous Facts!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Another random bunch of facts for you today.

I think I prefer the final one the best because of its irony and the fact that it illustrates that people can sometimes delude and convince themselves into believing they saw what the really didn’t.

Anyway, here they are, so choose your own favorite, but whatever you do….

Enjoy.

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facts 02

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The US Constitution contains many

spelling and grammatical errors.

american-constitution

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The term ‘Lunatic’ is derived from the Latin word ‘luna’ meaning ‘moon’.

It originated from the belief that insanity is caused by changes in the moon.

Lunatic

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Thirty-three light years away there is an

exoplanet completely covered in burning ice.

burning ice

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James Stephen “Steve” Fossett was an American businessman,

and a record-setting aviator, sailor, and adventurer

who, in 2002, became the first person to

fly solo nonstop around the world in a balloon.

Steve Fossett

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At its peak the Roman Empire

stretched for 2.51 million square miles,

but it was only the 19th largest empire in history.

Roman_Empire_Map

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Throughout the 1800s people were buried alive so often

that coffins included mechanisms to allow those people

to ring a bell in the graveyard.

people were buried alive so often that coffins included mechanisms to allow those people to ring a bell in the graveyard

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Homer and Langley Collyer, two compulsive hoarders,

were found buried beneath a collapsed pile of

the things they had stored in their house over the years.

Homer and Langley Collyer house

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The last time a cavalry charge was used on the battlefield

was during WWII when a Mongolian cavalry division

charged a German infantry division.

Two thousand Mongolians were killed

and not a single German died.

Mongolian cavalry division

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In ancient Egypt some servants were covered in honey

to attract flies away from the pharaoh.

(I suppose it’s better than the alternative!)

servants were covered in honey to attract flies away from the pharaoh

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June 28, 2014 was the 100 year anniversary of the assassination

of Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria,

heir to the Austro-Hungarian throne,

who was killed in Sarajevo along with his wife Duchess Sophie

by Bosnian Serb Gavrilo Princip.

This was the incident that led to the Great War,

also now known as World War I.

assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria

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Although several notable people died on the toilet,

one of the most famous is probably Elvis Presley.

Doctors attributed his death to too many prescription drugs.

elvis-presley-s-toilet

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When pizza deliveryman Brian Wells

was stopped by the police in the middle of a bank robbery

no one believed his story that he had been forced to do it

by some people he had delivered pizza to.

He kept on pleading with the officers saying that

the necklace he was wearing was a bomb.

Unfortunately for him though,

the bomb squad didn’t show up early enough.

pizza deliveryman Brian Wells

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Almost one-seventh (840) of all the languages on Earth

are spoken in one country…

Papua New Guinea.

map_of_papua-new-guinea

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When it was first built,

Disney’s Tomorrowland

was supposed to represent

the far off future year of 1986.

Tomorrowland_Disneyland

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A famous proponent of healthy eating and organic farming,

Jerome Irving Rodale died of a heart attack

while being interviewed on the Dick Cavett Show in 1971.

Some of his last words were that [he] would

“live to 100, unless [he was] run down by a a sugar-crazy taxi driver”.

Appearing fast asleep during the show, Dick Cavett joked

“Are we boring you, Mr. Rodale?”

before discovering that his 72-year-old guest had indeed died.

Many people are convinced they saw this on TV

but the incident was never aired.

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Some Challenging Questions – It must Be Quiz Day!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to another Quiz Day on the fasab blog.

I hope you are ready to try these challenging questions.

As usual if you get stuck you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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Quiz3

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Q  1:  We’ve all eaten M&Ms, but what do the two Ms stand for?

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Q  2: On the back of a $1 bill, what is in the center?

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Q  3: Who wrote ‘High Adventure’, about a spectacular mountain climb?

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Q  4: During World War II American factories produced approximately how many military aircraft?

           a)  200,000          b)  300,000          c)  400,000          d)  500,000

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Q  5: Captain Cook discovered which island in the pacific in 1777?

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Q  6: Who was assassinated at Memphis, Tennessee, in 1968?

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Q  7: What is the name of Elvis Presley’s home and where is it located? (A point for each correct answer.)

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Q  8: What name is given to a flat stretch of land within a river valley, which is the remnant of an earlier flood plain, when the river was at a higher level?

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Q  9: What is the name of the new TV series, starring John Malkovich, about the pirate Blackbeard?

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Q  10: What war ended with the fall of Saigon and in what year did it end? (A point for each correct answer.)

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Q  11: Which country lies to the north of Austria and the south of Poland?

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Q  12: Plus or minus 30 minutes, what was the Concorde’s record flight time from New York to London?

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Q  13: Who was responsible for the Green Car Crash in 1963?

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Q  14: What team thrashed Brazil by 7 goals to 1 in this year’s soccer World Cup semi-finals?

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Q  15: Who wrote about a fictional, diminutive, humanoid race called ‘Hobbits’ who inhabit the lands of Middle-earth?

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Q  16: The normal wing beat frequency of the annoying mosquito is what?

    a)  6 beats per sec.    b) 60 beats per sec.    c) 600 beats per sec.    d) 6,000 beats per sec.

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Q  17: ‘Cebuano’, ‘Fula’, ‘Gujarati’ and ‘Kannada’ are all examples of what?

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Q  18: What Oscar winning movie is based on the trials and tribulations of Harold Abraham and Eric Liddell?

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Q  19: Now a chance for some mega points. There are 13 official countries in the world which have a capital city beginning and ending with the same letter. (I don’t expect anyone to get them all, but have a point for each one you can name correctly. (names in the English language)).

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Q  20: Who said you could “call me Al” in 1986?

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ANSWERS

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Q  1:  We’ve all eaten M&Ms, but what do the two Ms stand for?

A  1:  The two Ms in M&Ms stand for Mars & Murrie’s, named after Forrest Mars and Bruce Murrie who started producing M&M’s exclusively for the military during WWII.

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Q  2: On the back of a $1 bill, what is in the center?

A  2: ONE.

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Q  3: Who wrote ‘High Adventure’, about a spectacular mountain climb?

A  3: Sir Edmund Hilary, the first man to climb Mount Everest.

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Q  4: During World War II American factories produced approximately how many military aircraft?

           a)  200,000          b)  300,000          c)  400,000          d)  500,000

A  4: The correct answer is b), American factories produced approximately 300,000 military aircraft during WWII.

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Q  5: Captain Cook discovered which island in the pacific in 1777?

A  5: Christmas Island.

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Q  6: Who was assassinated at Memphis, Tennessee, in 1968?

A  6: Martin Luther King jnr.

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Q  7: What is the name of Elvis Presley’s home and where is it located? (A point for each correct answer.)

A  7: The name of Elvis Presley’s home is Graceland and it is located in Memphis, Tennessee (3764 Elvis Presley Boulevard to be precise.)

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Q  8: What name is given to a flat stretch of land within a river valley, which is the remnant of an earlier flood plain, when the river was at a higher level?

A  8: It is called a River Terrace.

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Q  9: What is the name of the new TV series, starring John Malkovich, about the pirate Blackbeard?

A  9: Crossbones.

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Q  10: What war ended with the fall of Saigon and in what year did it end? (A point for each correct answer.)

A  10: The Vietnam War ended with the fall of Saigon. on 30 April 1975.

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Q  11: 4. Which country lies to the north of Austria and the south of Poland?

A  11: The Czech Republic.

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Q  12: Plus or minus 30 minutes, what was the Concorde’s record flight time from New York to London?

A  12: 2 hours. 55 minutes. 15 seconds.

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Q  13: Who was responsible for the Green Car Crash in 1963?

A  13: The Green Car Crash is Andy Warhol’s most famous painting. It was sold at auction on May 16, 2007 for $71.7m (£42.3m).

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Q  14: What team thrashed Brazil by 7 goals to 1 in this year’s soccer World Cup semi-finals?

A  14: Germany, who went on to win the competition.

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Q  15: Who wrote about a fictional, diminutive, humanoid race called ‘Hobbits’ who inhabit the lands of Middle-earth?

A  15: J. R. R. Tolkien.

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Q  16: The normal wing beat frequency of the annoying mosquito is what?

    a)  6 beats per sec.    b) 60 beats per sec.    c) 600 beats per sec.    d) 6,000 beats per sec.

A  16: The correct answer is c) 600 beats per sec.

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Q  17: ‘Cebuano’, ‘Fula’, ‘Gujarati’ and ‘Kannada’ are all examples of what?

A  17: They are all examples of languages. Cebuano is from the Philippines; Fula from Cameroon and Nigeria;  Gujarati from India and Pakistan; and Kannada from India.

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Q  18: What Oscar winning movie is based on the trials and tribulations of Harold Abraham and Eric Liddell?

A  18: ‘Chariots of Fire’ which tells the fact-based story of two athletes in the 1924 Olympics: Eric Liddell, a devout Scottish Christian who runs for the glory of God, and Harold Abrahams, an English Jew who runs to overcome prejudice.

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Q  19: Now a chance for some mega points. There are 13 official countries in the world which have a capital city beginning and ending with the same letter. (I don’t expect anyone to get them all, but have a point for each one you can name correctly. (names in the English language)).

A  19: They are: Abuja (Nigeria), Accra (Ghana), Addis Ababa (Ethiopia), Andorra la Vella (Andorra), Ankara (Turkey), Apia (Samoa), Asmara (Eritrea), Astana (Kazakstan), Oslo (Norway), St. George’s (Grenada), St. John’s (Antigua and Barbuda), Tashkent (Uzbekistan) and Warsaw (Poland).

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Q  20: Who said you could “call me Al” in 1986?

A  20: Paul Simon.

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Last Day Of The Month, First Quiz Of The Week.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to another start of the week quiz.

Another twenty brain teasing questions to stimulate those old grey cells.

As usual the answers can be found waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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Quiz 07

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Q.  1:  Where would you go to look at the Abominable Snowman?

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Q.  2:  Who was Jacqueline Lee Bouvier’s second husband?

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Q.  3:  Where were Gregory Peck, Ava Gardner, Fred Astaire and Antony Perkins in the 1959 post apocalyptic movie that they starred in?

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Q.  4:  What famous magician shares his name with an equally famous Dickens’ character?

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Q.  5:  In which country is Togariro National park with its three volcanoes, including Mt. Ruapahu?

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Q.  6:  Very few non Russians appeared on postage stamps in the USSR between 1922 and 1991, but two Americans did. Can you name them? (A point for each.)

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Q.  7:  This famous actor starred in a movie being himself, who is he?

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Q.  8:  Who was ‘The Once and Future King’? 

           a) Elvis           b) Arthur          c) Idi Amin           d) Aragorn

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Q.  9:  What was the name of the first director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation and who is it’s current chief?  (A point for each correct answer.)

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Q. 10:  What is the name of the river that rises on the Tibetan Plateau of western China and has flooded more often and killed more people than any other?

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Q. 11:  Why were there no registered births or deaths in England on September 3rd 1752?

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Q. 12:  The name of which form of literature stems from a Greek word meaning ‘making’?

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Q. 13:  Which actor won his only Oscar for his role in the western ‘True Grit’?

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Q. 14:  The old name for which island country stems from the Latin word for beautiful?

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Q. 15:  What is the real name of The Shark Tank’s ‘Mr Wonderful’?

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Q. 16:  What is the capital of Equador?

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Q. 17:  Vincent van Gogh is not only a very famous artist with his works now commanding millions of dollars, but he is also well known for an incident in which he cut off an ear. Which one?  (Go on, you have a 50:50 chance on this one!)

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Q. 18:  What aliases did Hannibal Hayes and Kid Curry use in the long running television series?

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Q. 19:  Who was hailed as the founder of the Mongol Empire?

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Q. 20:  What was Elvis Presley’s first number one hit single in the USA?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  Where would you go to look at the Abominable Snowman?

A.  1:  The Himalayas.

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Q.  2:  Who was Jacqueline Lee Bouvier’s second husband?

A.  2:  Greek shipping magnate, Aristotle Onassis.

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Q.  3:  Where were Gregory Peck, Ava Gardner, Fred Astaire and Antony Perkins in the 1959 post apocalyptic movie that they starred in?

A.  3:  On The Beach.

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Q.  4:  What famous magician shares his name with an equally famous Dickens’ character?

A.  4:  David Copperfield.

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Q.  5:  In which country is Togariro National park with its three volcanoes, including Mt. Ruapahu?

A.  5:  New Zealand.

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Q.  6:  Very few non Russians appeared on postage stamps in the USSR between 1922 and 1991, but two Americans did. Can you name them? (A point for each.)

A.  6:  They were Benjamin Franklin and Mark Twain.

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Q.  7:  This famous actor starred in a movie being himself, who is he?

A.  7:  He is John Malkovich, who starred in the movie ‘Being John Malkovich’.

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Q.  8:  Who was ‘The Once and Future King’? 

           a) Elvis           b) Arthur          c) Idi Amin           d) Aragorn

A.  8:  b) Arthur.

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Q.  9:  What was the name of the first director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation and who is it’s current chief?  (A point for each correct answer.)

A.  9:  J Edgar Hoover was the first, the current director is James Comey.

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Q. 10:  What is the name of the river that rises on the Tibetan Plateau of western China and has flooded more often and killed more people than any other?

A. 10:  The Yellow River.

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Q. 11:  Why were there no registered births or deaths in England on September 3rd 1752?

A. 11:  There was no September 3rd 1752. The British government adopted the Gregorian calendar.  It was decreed that the day following September 2nd 1752 should be called September 14.

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Q. 12:  The name of which form of literature stems from a Greek word meaning ‘making’?

A. 12:  Poetry.

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Q. 13:  Which actor won his only Oscar for his role in the western ‘True Grit’?

A. 13:  John Wayne.

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Q. 14:  The old name for which island country stems from the Latin word for beautiful?

A. 14:  Formosa (the modern name is Taiwan.)

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Q. 15:  What is the real name of The Shark Tank’s ‘Mr Wonderful’?

A. 15:  Kevin O’Leary.

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Q. 16:  What is the capital of Equador?

A. 16:  Quito.

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Q. 17:  Vincent van Gogh is not only a very famous artist with his works now commanding millions of dollars, but he is also well known for an incident in which he cut off an ear. Which one?  (Go on, you have a 50:50 chance on this one!)

A. 17:  It was his left ear.

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Q. 18:  What aliases did Hannibal Hayes and Kid Curry use in the long running television series?

A. 18:  They were ‘Alias Smith And Jones’.

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Q. 19:  Who was hailed as the founder of the Mongol Empire?

A. 19:  Genghis Khan.

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Q. 20:  What was Elvis Presley’s first number one hit single in the USA?

A. 20:  Heartbreak Hotel (in 1956).

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Another Day For All You Quizzers Out There.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Another set of twenty questions to get you thinking.

They say they are all easy if you know the answers – and can remember them!

Good luck with this lot, some are easy but some are quite tough.

And if you get stuck you’ll find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below – but NO cheating please!

Enjoy.

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quiz confused1

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Q.  1:  Which vitamin is also known as ascorbic acid?

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Q.  2:  Approximately what percentage of all the water on Earth is fresh water?

           a)  3%        b)  13%        c) 23%        d) 33%

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Q.  3:  In Greek mythology which Trojan hero killed Achilles?

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Q.  4:  In which Hitchcock movie is Cary Grant’s character the victim of mistaken identity?

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Q.  5:  What type of animal is a skink?

           a) Snake        b) Lizard        c) Marsupial

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Q.  6:  In German cuisine what is Stollen?

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Q.  7:  Which of these wars took place first?

           a) Boer War         b) First World War        c) Crimean War

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Q.  8:  Which American company produces the Polo clothing line?

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Q.  9:  On what English play is the musical West Side Story based?

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Q. 10:  What color is known as sable in heraldry?

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Q. 11:  Which Apostle is often described as the first Pope?

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Q. 12:  Professor Robert Langdon features in novels by which American author?

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Q. 13:  What shape is ‘rigatoni’ pasta?

            a) shell        b) tube        c) cartwheel        d) spiral

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Q. 14:  ‘Nature morte’ is the French term for what type of painting?

            a) portrait        b) landscape        c) still life

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Q. 15:  The term ‘zoophagous’ has a similar meaning to which of the following words?

            a) carnivorous        b) herbivorous        c) piscivorous

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Q. 16:  What does the musical term ‘adagio’ mean?

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Q. 17:  Harold Holt who disappeared while swimming in 1967 was the Prime Minister of which country?

            a) Canada        b) United Kingdom        c) Australia         d) New Zealand

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Q. 18:  In what country did the tango dance originate?

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Q. 19:  Which US President did John Hinckley try to assassinate?

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Q. 20:  In what year did Elvis Presley die?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  Which vitamin is also known as ascorbic acid?

A.  1:  Vitamin C.

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Q.  2:  Approximately what percentage of all the water on Earth is fresh water?

           a)  3%        b)  13%        c) 23%        d) 33%

A.  2:  a)  3%

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Q.  3:  In Greek mythology which Trojan hero killed Achilles?

A.  3:  Paris, who shot him in the heel with a poison arrow.

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Q.  4:  In which Hitchcock movie is Cary Grant’s character the victim of mistaken identity?

A.  4:  North By Northwest.

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Q.  5:  What type of animal is a skink?

           a) Snake        b) Lizard        c) Marsupial

A.  5:  b) Lizard

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Q.  6:  In German cuisine what is Stollen?

A.  6:  A Fruit Loaf.

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Q.  7:  Which of these wars took place first?

           a) Boer War         b) First World War        c) Crimean War

A.  7:  c) Crimean War

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Q.  8:  Which American company produces the Polo clothing line?

A.  8:  Ralph Lauren.

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Q.  9:  On what English play is the musical West Side Story based?

A.  9:  Romeo And Juliet by William Shakespeare.

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Q. 10:  What color is known as sable in heraldry?

A. 10:  Black.

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Q. 11:  Which Apostle is often described as the first Pope?

A. 11:  Peter.

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Q. 12:  Professor Robert Langdon features in novels by which American author?

A. 12:  Dan Brown.

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Q. 13:  What shape is ‘rigatoni’ pasta?

            a) shell        b) tube        c) cartwheel        d) spiral

A. 13:  b) tube.

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Q. 14:  ‘Nature morte’ is the French term for what type of painting?

            a) portrait        b) landscape        c) still life

A. 14:  c) still life.

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Q. 15:  The term ‘zoophagous’ has a similar meaning to which of the following words?

            a) carnivorous        b) herbivorous        c) piscivorous

A. 15:  a) carnivorous.

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Q. 16:  What does the musical term ‘adagio’ mean?

A. 16:  Slow.

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Q. 17:  Harold Holt who disappeared while swimming in 1967 was the Prime Minister of which country?

            a) Canada        b) United Kingdom        c) Australia         d) New Zealand

A. 17:  c) Australia

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Q. 18:  In what country did the tango dance originate?

A. 18:  Argentina.

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Q. 19:  Which US President did John Hinckley try to assassinate?

A. 19:  Ronald Reagan.

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Q. 20:  In what year did Elvis Presley die?

A. 20:  1977.

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==============================

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More Random Samples From The Fasab Fact File

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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If its facts you want we have them!

So here is another selection.

If you can’t find something you don’t know in here then you know far too much.

Enjoy.

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did you know3

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“Kemo Sabe”, the name Tonto called The Lone Ranger

means “Soggy Shrub” in Navajo Indian.

The Tonto in Spanish means “a fool”.

Lone Ranger and Tonto

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Ketchup was sold in the 1830’s as medicine.

ketchup

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Killer whales have such a good sense of touch

that if you dropped a pill into a bucket

and feed it to the orca

it would eat the fish and spit out the pill.

Shamu_the_Killer_Whale_Sea_World_Orlando

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Kleenex tissues were originally used as filters in gas masks.

Kleenex

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Knitted socks discovered in Ancient Egyptian tombs

have been dated back as far as the 3rd century AD.

Oh mummy!

knitted socks

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Larry Lewis ran the 100 yard dash in 17.9 seconds in 1969,

there by setting a new world’s record

for runners in the 100 years or older class.

He was 101.

old-runner

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5% of Canadians don’t know the first 7 words of the Canadian anthem,

but know the first 9 of the American anthem.

Canadian Anthem

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7% of Americans don’t know the first 9 words of the American anthem,

but know the first 7 of the Canadian anthem.

American Anthem

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85,000,000 tons of paper are used each year in the U.S.

paper

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99% of the solar system’s mass is concentrated in the sun.

sun-etc

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There is a company in Taiwan makes dinnerware

out of wheat, so you can eat your plate.

wheat dinnerware

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About 70% of Americans who go to college

do it just to make more money.

(The rest are just avoiding reality for four more years.)

college

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America once issued a 5-cent bill.

5 Cent Bill

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The Aztec emperor Montezuma had a nephew named Cuitlahuac,

whose name meant “plenty of excrement.”

Now there’s revenge for you!

cuitlahuac_realista

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Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of

their unwanted people without killing them

used to burn their houses down

– hence the expression “to get fired.”

youre-fired

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Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland

because he doesn’t wear pants

– the little pecker!

donald_duck

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Marijuana is not as chemically addictive

as is nicotine, alcohol, or caffeine.

One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today

is because in the 1930’s cotton growers lobbied against

hemp farmers whom they saw it as competition.

marijuana-leaf

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Special playing cards were issued to British pilots in WWII.

If captured, they could be soaked in water

and unfolded to reveal a map for escape.

map-card

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The three best-known western names in China are

Jesus Christ, Richard Nixon, and Elvis Presley.

Nixon and Elvis

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Lady Astor once told Winston Churchill,

‘If you were my husband, I would poison your coffee’.

To which Churchill replied,

‘If you were my wife, I would drink it’.

Astor vs Churchill

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