Oh How I Love These Puns. I Think I Have Found My Nietzsche!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


Yes, pun day again. For all of you who love (and hate) puns or word play.

Today we are starting off on the topical subject of employment, but there are plenty of other subjects that get the pun treatment as well.

Enjoy (even if you are pretending not to).



My first job was working in an orange juice factory,

but I got canned

I just couldn’t concentrate.

OJ concentrate

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack,

but I just couldn’t hack it,

so they gave me the axe.


After that I tried to be a tailor,

but I just wasn’t suited for it.

The job was only so-so anyhow.


Next I tried working in a muffler factory,

but that was exhausting.


I wanted to be a barber,

but I just couldn’t cut it.


I attempted to be a deli worker,

but any way I sliced it,

I couldn’t cut the mustard.


My best job was being a musician,

but eventually I found I wasn’t note worthy.


I studied a long time to become a doctor,

but I didn’t have any patience.


Next was a job in a shoe factory;

but it just wasn’t the right fit.



I became a professional fisherman,

but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income.



I thought about becoming a witch,

so I tried that for a spell.




I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company,

but the work was just too draining.

pool man



After many years of trying to find steady work,

I finally got a job as a historian,

until I realized there was no future in it.




My last job was working at Starbucks,

but I had to quit,

because it was always the same old grind.



If you get sick at the airport

you may have a terminal illness.

airport cartoon



Peter won’t fly on virgin airlines

he says he won’t go with anything

that doesn’t go all the way!

 Virgin Atlantic


You may be an American outside the bathroom,

but inside, European.





Do you know any puns about electricity?

About watt?




A woman asked me for an example of a double entendre

…. so I gave her one….

double entendre




It’s Thursday And That Means Another Excuse For A Few More Bad Jokes

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


Yes, it’s Thursday and that means another excuse for a few more bad jokes in the shape of the word plays called puns.



Organ donors put their heart into it.

Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.

A hungry traveler stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens.
A brother is frying chips.
‘Are you the friar?’ he asks.
‘No. I’m the chip monk,’ he replies.

Why does the coffee taste like mud?
Because it was ground a couple of minutes ago.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

I could not pull out of my parking space, so I used my back up plan.

I relish the fact that you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to me.

The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out.

To some – marriage is a word … to others – a sentence.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a
weapon of math disruption.

The man who worked at the watch factory was very funny.
He stood about all day making faces.

I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak.

Experts say the cost of funerals have risen by 50%,
they blame it on the cost of living.

Cartoonist found dead in home.
Details are sketchy.

Old doctors never die they just lose their patience.

I saw a beaver movie last night, it was the best dam movie I’ve ever seen.

Did you hear about the electrician who claimed that his truck was a volts wagon.