Failure.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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They say that success breeds success and to a great extent that is true. If, for example, you have a successful business it can give you the confidence and the cash to acquire or set up another.

But is the opposite also true? Does failure breed failure?

I think it does. Most people tend to get the confidence knocked out of them when they fail. That’s why most never really succeed after one or two set backs. Some are so afraid of failure that they won’t even try the first time.

But, when they fail, some do get up, dust themselves down, and try again. And they are the ones who prove that failing a few times can, in the long run, actually lead to greater success that would otherwise have been the case.

Most of the world’s greatest serial entrepreneurs have had their failures. Some have even been bankrupt or been close to it. It may have dented their confidence a little and made them more cautious for the next time, but it didn’t stop them trying and that’s the key to real success.

Sure, plan well, be smart, work hard and all those good things, but don’t give up.

Does that mean you are bound to succeed? Well, no it doesn’t. There can always be extenuating circumstances well out of your control that makes things go wrong, but on average you should come out ahead. And you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you did your best and that’s as much as any of us can hope for.

It also helps if you set you sights at a realistic level. Barring a highly unlikely win on the lotto you won’t become a millionaire overnight, no matter how many of those self-help books you buy or how many internet webinars you attend. Nor will you become a Hollywood superstar if you move to L.A. and fill in the time waiting tables in the hope that some famous producer will stop by and ‘discover’ you.

Winston Churchill perhaps summarized it best when he said that success was going from one failure to the next without any loss of enthusiasm. Be sensible and it may be success that waits round the corner for you.

 

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I’ve Never Understood Decimals – What’s The Point?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I may be having difficulty understanding the point of decimals, but I understand the point of a good pun or two.

Hope you do too.

Here is the latest word play selection for you enjoyment.

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I just found a note that says “Dial-a-Party” and a phone number.

I believe this calls for a celebration.

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Went to a 70’s disco the other night.

Bought all sorts of cool gear too; platform boots,

brightly coloured flares, an afro wig…

But in retro specs I looked a twat.

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Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma.

There’s no menu, they just give you what you deserve.

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I’m an avid campaigner for the preservation of endangered animals.

You should taste my panda jam.

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My friend’s always boasting how he once had to

shuffle 52 packs of cards and

then distribute them equally between 4 people.

Big deal.

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You know who I can’t stand?

Intolerant people.

Bastards!

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I had some time to kill yesterday.

So I went round to the mother-in-law’s.

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One by one, all of my best friends have started

to become interested in men as well as women.

So I’m just sitting here, watching the world go bi.

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My wife has just texted me asking me to ‘do her’ tonight.

I’m not looking forward to it, I’m useless at impressions.

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I was taking the freeway out of LA the other day

when the cops pulled me over and said:

‘Put it back’.

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Guy #1:  “I call my girlfriend ‘Miss Universe’.”

Guy #2:  “Is it because she’s so beautiful?”

Guy #1:  “No it’s ’cause she’s constantly expanding, the fat cow!” 

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I used to keep poking myself in my eyes,

but don’t worry,

I can’t see myself doing it again.

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Archaeologists have just discovered

an ancient Egyptian ruler embalmed in chocolate.

Apparently it was Pharaoh Rocher.

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My tailor has stitched the bottom

of my trousers the wrong way around.

Meh.

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I pulled a cracker last Christmas.

There’s a joke in there somewhere.

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Can anybody tell me where Jeopardy is?

Apparently there’s 1000s of jobs there.

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My teacher handed me a blank piece of white paper.

“Make a paper plane,” she said.

“It already is,” I said.

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My opinion on fishmongers?

Selfish.

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My friend just showed me a picture of his new girlfriend,

who he says is from Eastern Europe.

I looked at the picture and said

‘she looks nothing like a frog.’

‘What are you on about?’ He said.

‘I told you she’s a Tad-Polish.’

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I think my mum is going senile.

I just told her that my girlfriend is pregnant with my daughter.

She asked me, “Do you have a name?”

I said, “I’ve always had a name, for goodness sake, it’s me, David.”

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Did You Know? More Fab Facts From The Files

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, more fab facts from the files here at the fasab blog.

These posts are as random as they get so hopefully you should be able to get something out of them no matter what your interests are.

Check them out below.

And enjoy.

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The phone number to the white house is:

(202) 456-1414.

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It takes about 63,000 trees to make the newsprint

for the average Sunday edition of New York Times.

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Pucks hit by hockey sticks have reached speeds

of up to 150 miles per hour.

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Intelligent people have more

zinc and copper in their hair.

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In every episode of Seinfeld

there is a Superman somewhere.

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The most poisonous spider is the black widow.

Its venom is more potent than a rattlesnake’s.

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Fish that live more than 800 meters below

the ocean surface don’t have eyes.

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Mercury is the only planet

whose orbit is coplanar with its equator.

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There is actually no danger in swimming right after you eat,

though it may feel uncomfortable.

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Starfish have no brains.

(I know several people like that!)

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The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses.

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Los Angeles’ full name is

“El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula”.

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Al Capone’s business card

said he was a used furniture dealer.

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A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

A quarter has 119.

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John Lennon’s first girlfriend

was named Thelma Pickles.

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You can lead a cow upstairs

but not downstairs.

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The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

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There are 336 dimples on a regulation US golf ball.

In the UK its 330.

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At the height of its power in 400 BC, the Greek city of Sparta

had 25,000 citizens and 500,000 slaves.

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In “Silence of the Lambs”,

Hannibal Lector (Anthony Hopkins) never blinks.

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Fabulously Fascinating Facts

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Today we have a selection of fabulously fascinating facts.

Grateful gentlemen readers may send a donation if they so desire.

Enjoy.

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Just twenty seconds’ worth of fuel remained when Apollo 11’s lunar module landed on the moon.

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Lemon sharks grow a new set of teeth every two weeks! They grow more than 24,000 new teeth every year!

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Los Angeles’s full name is El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size, LA

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A fully loaded supertanker travelling at normal speed takes a least twenty minutes to stop.

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John Wilkes Booth shot Lincoln in a theatre and was found in a warehouse. Lee Harvey Oswald shot Kennedy from a warehouse and was found in a theatre.

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A cow produces 200 times more gas a day than a person. (Speak for yourself!)

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100 years from now Facebook will have the accounts of 500 million dead people.

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Rain has never been recorded in some parts of the Atacama Desert in Chile.

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A Koala is the only animal that has finger prints.

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The average person spends two weeks of their lives waiting for a traffic light to change.

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A Blue whale’s tongue weighs more than an elephant.

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A whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound.

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There are 500,000 detectable earthquakes in the world each year.

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Back in 1924, a monkey was convicted in South bend of the crime of smoking a cigarette and sentenced to pay a $25 fine and trial costs.

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Nearly 50% of all bank robberies take place on Friday.

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Babies are born without kneecaps. They don’t appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years.

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The Sears Tower in Chicago contains enough steel to build 50,000 automobiles.

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The population of the American colonies in 1610 was 350.

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Termites outweigh humans by almost ten to one.

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Stephen Hawking was born exactly 300 years after Galileo died.

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Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. It is 10 TIMES more effective than Valium. So you have a headache? GREAT!!!

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It’s Monday Again, And You Know What That Means…. More Stupid Quiz Show Answers

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Hi everyone, yes it’s Monday again and time for another selection of stupid quiz show answers.

Are you depressed at the horrendous level of stupidity out there in the big wide world, or just happy that you are a lot smarter then these guys? I mean, who could ever forget “Smelly Kelly”? 

Either way I hope you enjoy today’s bunch.

 

 

 

Q: Name a time when people wake up   

A: Morning

 

 

Q: Name a sport people play by themselves      

A: Video games

 

 

Q: The state with the best beaches        

A: Los Angeles

 

 

Q: Name something a husband asks his wife to carry in her purse          

A: Condoms

 

 

Q: Name something a woman likes a man to have that begins with the letter M    

A: Makeup

 

 

Q: Name a Southern city           

A: Georgia

 

 

Q: Name a subject people discuss on their first date      

A: Sex 

 

 

Q: Name something an airline passenger might be holding during a bumpy flight

A: A lucky rabbit’s foot  

 

 

Q: Name something about Dr. Phil that comedians make fun of 

A: His contestants

 

 

Q: Name a famous Kelly           

A: Kelly “Ripka”

A: “Smelly Kelly”

 

 

Q: Name a sure cure for a hangover      

A: Making love 

 

 

Q: Name a famous Christina     

A: Christina the car

 

 

Q: Name a food with an edible skin       

A: Banana

 

 

Q: The night with the worst TV programs

A: UPN

 

 

Q: Name something you put in tea        

A: Tea bag

 

 

Q: Name a place where you might see a dead body       

A: Your house  

 

 

Q: Name a job around the house that has to be done every fall  

A: Spring cleaning

 

 

Q: An occupation considered to be un-masculine           

A: Truck driver  

 

 

Q: Name something dogs can do better than people      

A: Pee 

 

 

Q: The longest amount of time you have spent without talking to your spouse    

A: 20 minutes   

 

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Another Selection Of Anagrams, part two in this short Sunday series

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to another Sunday and another selection of anagrams to, I hope, amuse and entertain.

 

 

‘Plastic surgery’

Result: Gasp! I cry

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‘The Prince of Wales (Charles Philip Arthur George Mountbatten-Windsor)’

Pre-eminent twerp. Highbrow felon. Adulterous English aristocrat chap.

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‘America’s first moon landing’

Grand-scale misinformation!

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‘marriage’

A grim era

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‘marriage vows’

Orgasm waiver

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‘menstrual cycle’

Cleanly rectums

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‘Evangelist’

Evil’s agent

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‘Desperation’

A rope ends it

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‘The Morse Code’

Here come dots

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‘Slot Machines’

Cash lost in ’em

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‘The Public Art Galleries’

Large picture halls, I bet

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‘A Decimal Point’

I’m a dot in place

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‘The Earthquakes’

That queer shake

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‘Eleven plus two’

Twelve plus one

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“That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.” (Neil Armstrong, on the moon)

A thin man ran; makes a large stride, left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!

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‘President Clinton, of the USA’

To copulate, he finds interns

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‘President Barack Hussein Obama

A maniac presides. The banks rob u

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‘William Shakespeare’

I’ll make a wise phrase

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‘Jay Leno’

Enjoy L.A.

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‘Gene Simmons’

Immense song

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‘The eyes’

They see

 

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