I suppose if you asked the people who invented it, they would try to tell you that the auto-correct feature on cell phones is meant to do two things, 1) to help you to spell words correctly and 2) to save you time by automatically finishing the word you are typing into your text message.
Well, here’s a bit of news for any of them who may read this – it fails miserably on both counts!
Spelling correctly a word you are not trying to type is as useless as replacing the word you want to use with another that is completely unconnected with what you are trying to say.
I spend more time re-entering words into my phone that would send ten messages if they left me alone.
Yes, autocorrect is definitely the bean of my life!
Now for the funny bits….
(Usual health and safety warning applies if you are of a nervous disposition or likely to be offended by strong or graphic language. Proceed at your own risk!)
Last Saturday I talked about the movie ‘Lost in Translation’ and how trying to communicate in a language that you don’t understand can have comic consequences.
I have had a few dodgy experiences using things like Google translator or Bing’s verson or even Bable Fish, but thankfully none quite as bad as this next bunch of signs.
Enjoy.
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All of which goes to prove that it is easier to get the
Today another selection of signs from various Churches that didn’t turn out to be s heavenly as perhaps intended, but some of them quite clever too! (But not the first one though, they couldn’t even spell Church!)
I have witnessed many strange phenomena as I have traveled through life, but one of the most consistent and enduring is to do with something very simple. Peoples’ names.
I’m not talking about the names that parents choose for their offsprings, although some of them particularly in the celebrity world can be quite ridiculous. For example, Nicholas Cage named his son ‘Kal-El’ (wow, super man!); Jason Lee chose ‘Pilot Inspektor’; and Forest Whittaker’s four kids have been lumbered with ‘Ocean’, ‘Sonnet’, ‘True’, and ‘Autumn’. But in the celebrity stakes the fruitcake prize has to go to Frank Zappa who named his unfortunate children ‘Dweezil’, ‘Moon Unit’, ‘Diva Thin Muffin’ and ‘Ahmet’. Arrrggggghhhhh!
Similarly, parents should give some thought to how a Christian or first name will pair with their surname. If your surname is Hunt, for example, you really don’t want to name your son Michael, or if the family name happens to be Head, then Richard should also be avoided.
However, amusing as that made be, those are what you could almost call self-inflicted wounds. What I am really referring to are surnames, the names we don’t get to choose unless of course we go to the extreme of changing them by deed poll.
A slight digression here, but that reminds me of a guy in Britain named Michael Howerd who got so pissed off with his bank when they charged him £20 for a £10 overdraft that he changed his name by deed poll to “Yorkshire Bank plc are Fascist Bastards”, the name the bank had to use on a check repaying the residue of his account.
But getting back to peoples’ surnames, one of the interesting things is that no matter how stupid, crazy, amusing or whatever the surname may be, the people to whom they belong hardly ever seem to find anything wrong with them – otherwise they would change them.
This is getting a bit near the knuckle, and terribly juvenile, but we used to know a family named Kuntz. They were oblivious to the hilarity their name provoked, but the rest of us had great fun. “Who’s that at the door?” someone would ask. “Oh it’s the Kuntz from next door,” would invariably be the answer, followed by much laughter. We were always smiling when they came to visit, I think they thought we were just pleased to see them!
Of course, if you are female and lumbered with a terrible surname there is another easy way out. Get married! Like everything else, a great solution in theory. In practice it doesn’t always work out as the following newspaper announcements prove.
Enjoy!
Wang – HolderBusch – RashBest – LayCrapp – BeerLooney – WardPoore – SappHardy – HarrTraylor – HookerBeaver – Wetter
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