Final Fasab Quiz For February.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Last quiz for February already.

How are you quizzers doing this year?

Scores don’t matter though, as long as you enjoy doing the quizzes.

Usual format today, general knowledge, geography, history, science, nature and even a little music.

Varying degrees of difficulty, but if you get stuck you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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Quiz 07

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Q.  1:  What city is known as the ‘Peace Capital’ of the world?

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Q.  2:  What is the only gemstone to be composed of one single element?

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Q.  3:  What type of monkey possesses a blood factor that is shared with humans and was the first type of monkey launched into space?

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Q.  4:  If the ‘DC’ in Washington DC was actually Roman Numerals, what number would it represent?

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Q.  5:  What term is given to a territory which is part of a country but is surrounded by other countries so it is physically separate from the rest of the country?

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Q.  6:  The ‘First Battle of Bull Run’ and the ‘Battle of Edgehill’ were the first battles of which wars? (A point for each correct answer and a bonus point if you answer both correctly.)

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Q.  7:  What is the title of the head of the Church of England?

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Q.  8:  What is the home of a Beaver called?

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Q.  9:  Which famous action painter was nicknamed ‘Jack the Dripper’ ?

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Q. 10:  Orbiting 35,900km above the equator, what term is given to satellites that remain above the same point on the Earth’s surface in their orbit?

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Q. 11:  In which city are the Petronas Towers, formerly the world’s highest building?

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Q. 12:  What name is given to the condition created by too much bile in the bloodstream that causes a distinct yellowing of the skin?

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Q. 13:  What do 1,000 ‘gigabytes’ make?

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Q. 14:  Where was a speed record of 11.2mph set in 1972?

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Q. 15:  Of which republic are ‘English’, ‘Malay’, ‘Mandarin Chinese’ and ‘Tamil’ the four official languages?

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Q. 16:  Which Ray Bradbury novel, also made into a famous movie, opens “It was a pleasure to burn”?

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Q. 17:  The name of the human-like inhabitants of the land of the Houyhnhnms, discovered by Captain Lemuel Gulliver in 1711, has become one of the best known names in the modern business world, what is it?

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Q. 18:  Among other meanings this word as a noun can mean a large wading bird, or a device for lifting and moving heavy weights, and as a verb it can mean to stretch out one’s neck, especially to see better –  what is the word?

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Q. 19:  ‘JAT’ airways is the national carrier of which country?

            a) Switzerland          b) Serbia          c) Senegal          d) Somalia

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Q. 20:  Who sang about an ‘Uptown Girl’ in 1983?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  What city is known as the ‘Peace Capital’ of the world?

A.  1:  Geneva, Switzerland.

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Q.  2:  What is the only gemstone to be composed of one single element?

A.  2:  Diamond.

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Q.  3:  What type of monkey possesses a blood factor that is shared with humans and was the first type of monkey launched into space?

A.  3:  The Rhesus monkey.

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Q.  4:  If the ‘DC’ in Washington DC was actually Roman Numerals, what number would it represent?

A.  4:  DC in Roman Numerals is 600.

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Q.  5:  What term is given to a territory which is part of a country but is surrounded by other countries so it is physically separate from the rest of the country?

A.  5:  An Exclave.

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Q.  6:  The ‘First Battle of Bull Run’ and the ‘Battle of Edgehill’ were the first battles of which wars? (A point for each correct answer and a bonus point if you answer both correctly.)

A.  6:  The American and English Civil Wars respectively.

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Q.  7:  What is the title of the head of the Church of England?

A.  7:  He is called the ‘Archbishop of Canterbury’.

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Q.  8:  What is the home of a Beaver called?

A.  8:  A ‘Lodge’.

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Q.  9:  Which famous action painter was nicknamed ‘Jack the Dripper’ ?

A.  9:  Jackson Pollock.

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Q. 10:  Orbiting 35,900km above the equator, what term is given to satellites that remain above the same point on the Earth’s surface in their orbit?

A. 10:  Geostationary.

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Q. 11:  In which city are the Petronas Towers, formerly the world’s highest building?

A. 11:  Kuala Lumpur.

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Q. 12:  What name is given to the condition created by too much bile in the bloodstream that causes a distinct yellowing of the skin?

A. 12:  Jaundice.

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Q. 13:  What do 1,000 ‘gigabytes’ make?

A. 13:  A ‘Terabyte’.

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Q. 14:  Where was a speed record of 11.2mph set in 1972?

A. 14:  On the Moon (by John Young of Apollo 16 driving the Lunar Rover!)

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Q. 15:  Of which republic are ‘English’, ‘Malay’, ‘Mandarin Chinese’ and ‘Tamil’ the four official languages?

A. 15:  Singapore.

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Q. 16:  Which Ray Bradbury novel, also made into a famous movie, opens “It was a pleasure to burn” ?

A. 16:  Fahrenheit 451.

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Q. 17:  The name of the human-like inhabitants of the land of the Houyhnhnms, discovered by Captain Lemuel Gulliver in 1711, has become one of the best known names in the business world, what is it?

A. 17:  They were called Yahoos.

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Q. 18:  Among other meanings this word as a noun can mean a large wading bird, or a device for lifting and moving heavy weights, and as a verb it can mean to stretch out one’s neck, especially to see better  –  what is the word?

A. 18:  The word is ‘crane’.

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Q. 19:  ‘JAT’ airways is the national carrier of which country?

            a) Switzerland          b) Serbia          c) Senegal          d) Somalia

A. 19:  The correct answer is b) Serbia.

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Q. 20:  Who sang about an ‘Uptown Girl’ in 1983?

A. 20:  Billy Joel.

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Fractions, Food And French Horns – It’s The Fasab Quiz!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, fractions, food, and French Horns are just some of the questions you’ll face if you take this week’s quiz.

A random and challenging assortment, but as usual, if you get stuck, you will find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below. But please, NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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quiz 09

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Q.  1:  The name of what American city means “the meadows” in Spanish?

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Q.  2:  How many women now regularly wear shoes with heels higher than one inch to work?

            a)  15%            b)  25%            c)  35%            d)  45%

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Q.  3:  What year was the death penalty abolished in England?

            a)  1959          b)  1969          c)  1979          d)  1989

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Q.  4:  What number lies halfway between 1/3 and 1/5?

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Q.  5:  What was the first nation to give women the right to vote?

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Q.  6:  From what type of creature is ‘Bombay duck’ made?

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Q.  7:  Which country would you be in if you were skiing in the Dolomites?

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Q.  8:  It is the name of a fragrant cosmetic and a city in Germany, what is it?

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Q.  9:  In which country did French horns originate?

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Q. 10:  What acid is associated with muscles in the body experiencing lack of oxygen?

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Q. 11:  In Roman times what was a gladiator armed with, in addition to a dagger and spear?

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Q. 12:  From which plant do we get ‘Vanilla’?

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Q. 13:  What is ‘Hansen’s disease’ more commonly known as?

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Q. 14:  What was the name of the political system in South Africa from 1948 to 1994?

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Q. 15:  ‘Wild Marjoram’ is another name for which commonly used herb?

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Q. 16:  How deep is one fathom of water?

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Q. 17:  How many different letters are used in Roman numerals and what are their values? (A point for each part of the question correctly answered.)

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Q. 18:  What common mineral is used to make casts, moulds, blackboard chalk and plaster of Paris?

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Q. 19:  What extinct creature got its name from the Portuguese word for stupid? (Hint: the answer is not Congressman.)

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Q. 20:  Who created the cartoon characters “The Simpsons”?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  The name of what American city means “the meadows” in Spanish?

A.  1:  Las Vegas.

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Q.  2:  How many women now regularly wear shoes with heels higher than one inch to work?

            a)  15%            b)  25%            c)  35%            d)  45%

A.  2:  The correct answer is b)  25%.

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Q.  3:  What year was the death penalty abolished in England?

            a)  1959          b)  1969          c)  1979          d)  1989

A.  3:  The correct answer is b) 1969.

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Q.  4:  What number lies halfway between 1/3 and 1/5?

A.  4:  4/15ths

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Q.  5:  What was the first nation to give women the right to vote?

A.  5:  New Zealand, in 1893.

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Q.  6:  From what type of creature is ‘Bombay duck’ made?

A.  6:  Fish (specifically a Bummalo fish).

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Q.  7:  Which country would you be in if you were skiing in the Dolomites?

A.  7:  Italy.

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Q.  8:  It is the name of a fragrant cosmetic and a city in Germany, what is it?

A.  8:  Cologne.

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Q.  9:  In which country did French horns originate?

A.  9:  Germany.

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Q. 10:  What acid is associated with muscles in the body experiencing lack of oxygen?

A. 10:  Lactic acid.

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Q. 11:  In Roman times what was a gladiator armed with, in addition to a dagger and spear?

A. 11:  A net.

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Q. 12:  From which plant do we get ‘Vanilla’?

A. 12:  The Orchid.

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Q. 13:  What is ‘Hansen’s disease’ more commonly known as?

A. 13:  Leprosy.

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Q. 14:  What was the name of the political system in South Africa from 1948 to 1994?

A. 14:  Apartheid.

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Q. 15:  ‘Wild Marjoram’ is another name for which commonly used herb?

A. 15:  Oregano.

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Q. 16:  How deep is one fathom of water?

A. 16:  1.82 Meters or 6 feet.

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Q. 17:  How many different letters are used in Roman numerals and what are their values? (A point for each part of the question correctly answered.)

A. 17:  Seven or VII   (They are,  I = 1, V = 5, X = 10, L = 50, C = 100, D = 500, M = 1000)

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Q. 18:  What common mineral is used to make casts, moulds, blackboard chalk and plaster of Paris?

A. 18:  Gypsum.

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Q. 19:  What extinct creature got its name from the Portuguese word for stupid? (Hint: the answer is not Congressman.)

A. 19:  The Dodo.

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Q. 20:  Who created the cartoon characters “The Simpsons”?

A. 20:  Matt Groening. Thanks Matt. 

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Have You Noticed, Winzip Files Are Becoming Rar These Days.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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A little nerdy pun in the title to set the tone for today, because it’s another Pun Day.

Some more plays on words, which you will either….

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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I was thinking of getting a tattoo on my palm

On the other hand I might not bother.

tattoo on my palm

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I’m giving away a free gate.

Honestly, there’s no catch.

gate

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A Rastafarian just gave my friend a haircut.

He looks dreadful.

Rastafarian

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Just been thinking, Hooters should do a home delivery service.

They could call it Knockers.

Hooters

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Whenever anybody asks what I do.

I tell them I’m a Thai boxer, to make myself sound hard.

Sounds better than telling them

I pack men’s neckwear in a warehouse.

muay_thai_boxers

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I find it difficult to count in

Roman numerals until the number 159.

Then it just CLIX.

CLIX

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If you’d like to know more about bulimia,

just do a Google search and see what it throws up.

bulimia

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I used to live in a tire, but it got a puncture.

Now I just live in a flat.

flat tire

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Statistically speaking,

the word “duck” is 75% obscene.

duck

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To those men who whinge and whine

saying it’s too hard to cultivate apples,

I say, “Grow a pear.”

pear

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I want to thank my friend, who looked up

“Agglomeration” for me in the dictionary.

It means a lot.

agglomeration

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Do you think that a Clairvoyants meeting has

ever been cancelled due to unforeseen events.

Clairvoyant

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I’ve written a book about

an Apartment block for Midgets.

It’s a collection of short storeys.

Lego Apartment block

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My Korean friend died last week.

So Yung…

Korean flag

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Apparently Matt Damon believes in two things:

Sequels, and reincarnation.

Basically, he thinks he’ll be Bourne again.

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Significant Number Factoid Friday – Today The Number Had To Be 1776

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Hello everyone.

And a very happy Fourth of July to everyone, particularly my American friends.

Independence Day again, and no sign of invading spaceships so I’m assuming its safe to do another number factoid.

And what else could it be today other than 1776, the year America became an independent nation.

Here we go.

Enjoy

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1776

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And where else to start but with….

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American Revolutionary War

Gen George Washington hoisted the Continental Union Flag

  • On January 1st, 1776 Gen George Washington hoisted the Continental Union Flag. The same day the town of Norfolk, Virginia, was destroyed by the combined actions of the British Royal Navy and occupying Patriot forces.
  • On Jan 5th the Assembly of New Hampshire adopts its 1st state constitution.
  • On January 10th Thomas Paine published his pamphlet Common Sense “written by an Englishman” in Philadelphia arguing for independence from British rule in what were then the Thirteen Colonies.

pamphlet Common Sense by Thomas Paine

  • On Jan 16th the Continental Congress approves enlistment of free blacks.
  • On February 27th Scottish North Carolina Loyalists charge across Moore’s Creek bridge near Wilmington to attack what they mistakenly believed to be a small force of rebels. Several loyalist leaders are killed in the ensuing battle. The patriot victory virtually ended all British authority in the province.
  • On March 2nd and 3rd the American Continental Navy and Marines made a successful assault on Nassau, Bahamas, and in the Battle of the Rice Boats, American Patriots resisted the Royal Navy on the Savannah River effectively ending British control over the Province of Georgia.
  • On March 4th American Patriots capture Dorchester Heights thereby dominating the port of Boston, Massachusetts. Threatened by the Patriot cannons on Dorchester Heights, the British evacuate Boston on March 17th.
  • On April 12th the Royal Colony of North Carolina produced the Halifax Resolves making it the first British colony officially to authorize its Continental Congress delegates to vote for independence from the Kingdom of Great Britain.
  • On May 4th Rhode Island became the first American colony to renounce allegiance to King George III of Great Britain.
  • On June 7th Richard Henry Lee of Virginia proposed to the Second Continental Congress (meeting in Philadelphia) that “these united colonies are, and of right ought to be, free and independent states.”
  • On June 11th the Continental Congress appointed a Committee of Five to draft a Declaration of Independence.

declaration-of-independence-1776

  • On June 12th the Virginia Declaration of Rights by George Mason was adopted by the Virginia Convention of Delegates and three days later on June 15th the Delaware General Assembly voted to suspend government under the British Crown.
  • On July 2nd the final (despite minor revisions) U.S. Declaration of Independence was written. The Continental Congress passed the Lee Resolution.
  • And as we all know, on July 4th the United States Declared Independence: The Continental Congress ratified the declaration by the United States of its independence from the Kingdom of Great Britain.
  • On July 8th the Liberty Bell rang in Philadelphia for the first public reading of the Declaration of Independence and the following day an angry mob in New York City toppled the equestrian statue of George III of Great Britain in Bowling Green.

Liberty Bell

  • On August 2nd most of the American colonies ratify the Declaration of Independence.
  • On August 15th the first Hessian troops land on Staten Island to join British forces.
  • On August 27th in the Battle of Long Island, Washington’s troops were routed in Brooklyn by British under William Howe.
  • On September 1st the Cherokee Nation was invaded by 6,000 patriot troops from Virginia, North Carolina, and South Carolina begins. The troops destroyed thirty-six Cherokee towns.
  • On September 7th saw the world’s first submarine attack when the American submersible craft Turtle attempted to attach a time bomb to the hull of British Admiral Richard Howe’s flagship HMS Eagle in New York Harbor.
  • On September 11th an abortive peace conference took place between British and Americans on Staten Island.
  • On September 15th British troops landed on Manhattan at Kips Bay.
  • On September 16th in the Battle of Harlem Heights, the Continental Army under Washington are victorious against the British on Manhattan.
  • On September 22nd the British hanged spy Nathan Hale in New York City for espionage.
  • The following month, on October 11th on Lake Champlain near Valcour Island, a British fleet led by Sir Guy Carleton defeated 15 American gunboats commanded by Brigadier General Benedict Arnold. Although nearly all of Arnold’s ships are destroyed, the two day-long battle gave Patriot forces enough time to prepare defenses of New York City.
  • On October 18th in the Battle of Pell’s Point, forces of the American Continental Army resisted a British and Hessian force in The Bronx, whilst on October 28 in the Battle of White Plains, British forces attacked and captured Chatterton Hill from the Americans.
  • On October 26th Benjamin Franklin departed from America for France on a mission to seek French support for the American Revolution.

Benjamin Franklin

  • The last day of that month, October 31st saw King George III make his first speech before British Parliament since the Declaration of Independence that summer, in which in perhaps the understatement of the year, told the British Parliament that all was not going well for Britain in the war with the United States.
  • On November 16th Hessian mercenaries under Lieutenant General Wilhelm von Knyphausen captured Fort Washington from the American Continentals. The captain of the American navy ship Andrew Doria fired a salute to the Dutch flag on Fort Orange and Johannes de Graaff answers with eleven gun shots.
  • On December 7th the Marquis de Lafayette attempted to enter the American military as a major general.
  • And on December 21st the Royal Colony of North Carolina reorganizes into the State of North Carolina after adopting its own constitution. Richard Caswell becomes the first governor of the newly formed state.
  • On December 23rd Thomas Paine, living with Washington’s troops, began publishing The American Crisis, containing the stirring phrase, “These are the times that try men’s souls.”
  • At Christmas 1776, Gen. George Washington ordered the first issue of The Crisis to be read to his troops on Christmas Eve, then at 6 p.m. all 2600 of them march to McKonkey’s Ferry, crossed the Delaware River and land on the Jersey bank at 3 a.m.
  • And finally December 26th saw the Battle of Trenton, in which Washington’s troops surprised and defeated the 1500 Hessian troops under the command of Col. Johann Rall outside Trenton, taking 948 prisoners while suffering only 5 wounded.

 crossing the Delaware River

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In other things and other places in 1776

  • The year 1776 was a leap year starting on Monday of the Gregorian calendar and a leap year starting on Friday of the 11-day slower Julian calendar.
  • In Roman Numerals 1776 is written as MDCCLXXVI.
  • On January 2nd Austria ended interrogation torture
  • On February 17th Edward Gibbon published the first volume of his famous work, The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire.

The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire

  • On March 9th Scottish economist Adam Smith published The Wealth of Nations in London.
  • On March 28th Juan Bautista de Anza found the site for the Presidio of San Francisco.
  • On April 15th the Duchess of Kingston was found guilty of bigamy.
  • On May 1st Adam Weishaupt founded the Illuminati in Ingolstadt, Bavaria.
  • On June 17th Lt. Jose Joaquin Moraga leads a band of colonists from Monterey Presidio, landing on June 29th and constructing the Mission Dolores of the new Presidio of San Francisco.
  • On July 12th Captain James Cook sets off from Plymouth, England, in HMS Resolution on his third voyage, to the Pacific Ocean and Arctic, which would turn out to be fatal.

Captain James Cook

  • On July 21st Mozart’s Serenade No. 7 (the “Haffner”) is first performed in Salzburg, Austria.
  • On July 29th Francisco Silvestre Vélez de Escalante, Francisco Atanasio Domínguez, and eight other Spaniards set out from Santa Fe on an eighteen-hundred mile trek through the American Southwest. They were the first Europeans to explore the vast region between the Rockies and the Sierras.
  • On September 6th a hurricane hit Guadeloupe, killing more than 6000 people.
  • On September 24th the first of the now very famous St Leger horse races were held at Doncaster, England.
  • On October 7th Crown Prince Paul of Russia married Sophie Marie Dorothea of Württemberg.
  • On October 9th Father Francisco Palou founded the Mission San Francisco de Asis in what is now San Francisco, California.
  • On October 18th in a New York bar decorated with a bird tail, a customer orders “cock tail”.
  • On December 5th the first US fraternity, Phi Beta Kappa (William & Mary College), is formed.

Phi Beta Kappa

  • The Standard Practice for Conditioning and Testing Textiles is Active Standard ASTM D1776
  • The Standard Specification for Eye Protective Devices for Paintball Sports is Active Standard ASTM F1776.
  • MTE M-1776 is a Surge Protective Device
  • P1776 is the code for solenoid stuck in low/reverse which is a fairly common problem and can be prevented most of the time by keeping the fluid clean.
  • The 1776 Premier Program offers a venue for highly-committed, elite players to receive professional, year-round coaching and to seek competition at the highest levels of US Youth Soccer.

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Hope You Know Your Countries And A Lot Of Other Stuff – It’s Quiz Day!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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As the title suggests today there are a lot of questions concerning countries.

But don’t worry, they are related to different subjects, not necessarily geography.

And there is the usual random selection to go along with them, so why not have a go?

As usual the answers are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but NO cheating!

Enjoy the challenge.

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quiz 2

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Q.  1:    In Venice, what is a ‘vaporetto’?

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Q.  2:    What is the difference between venom and poison?

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Q.  3:    Which country appeared in a record 23 consecutive Davis Cup finals between 1946 and 1968?

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Q.  4:  ‘Milk’, ‘Oyster’, ‘Magic’, ‘Death Cap’, ‘Hedgehog’, ‘Maitake’ and ‘Paddy Straw‘ are all examples of what?

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Q.  5:  What are the five largest countries in the world with a population density of 15 people or less per square mile? (One point for each correct answer.)

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Q.  6:  Kurgan is the bad guy in which movie?

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Q.  7:  How many rows of stars are there on an American flag?

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Q.  8:  The name of which world famous ship translated means ‘short chemise’ or ‘short undergarment’?

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Q.  9:  Which country is the largest wine producer in South America?

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Q. 10:  Campanology is very popular on festive occasions. What is campanology?

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Q. 11:  What was designed by Childe Harold Wills and was colloquially known as the “Tin Lizzie” and the “Flivver”?

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Q. 12:  ‘Trapper’, ‘Hawkeye’ and ‘Radar’ appear in which TV program?

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Q. 13:  What does the Greek root ‘adelph’ mean?

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Q. 14:  What was the name of the 1783 treaty that formally ended the American Revolutionary War?

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Q. 15:  The answer to this one is just three letters and they mean a river of southern Italy, an Indo-Chinese language and the initials of a very popular and long running American police procedural legal drama television series, What are the three letters?

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Q. 16:  How many normal size wine bottles would you have in a Methuselah?

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Q. 17:  What would the waiter bring to your table if you ordered ‘priest choker’ in an Italian restaurant?

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Q. 18:  Which accurate sport term is also the name of Bill Sikes’ vicious dog in the novel ‘Oliver Twist’?

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Q. 19:  What number do the Roman numerals ‘XL’ represent?

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Q. 20:  And finally, spell that atrocious and precocious word from the movie ‘Mary Poppins’.

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:    In Venice, what is a ‘vaporetto’?

A.  1:    A ‘vaporetto’ is a Venetian Waterbus

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Q.  2:    What is the difference between venom and poison?

A.  2:    Venom is injected, poison is ingested or inhaled.

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Q.  3:    Which country appeared in a record 23 consecutive Davis Cup finals between 1946 and 1968?

A.  3:  Australia

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Q.  4:  ‘Milk’, ‘Oyster’, ‘Magic’, ‘Death Cap’, ‘Hedgehog’, ‘Maitake’ and ‘Paddy Straw’ are all examples of what?

A.  4:  Mushrooms

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Q.  5:  What are the five largest countries in the world with a population density of 15 people or less per square mile?  (One point for each correct answer.)

A.  5:  Mongolia (4 people per sq. mile), Canada (8), Australia (8), Libya (9) and Kazakhstan (15)

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Q.  6:  Kurgan is the bad guy in which movie?

A.  6:  Highlander

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Q.  7:  How many rows of stars are there on an American flag?

A.  7:  9

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Q.  8:  The name of which world famous ship translated means ‘short chemise’ or ‘short undergarment’?

A.  8:  Cutty Sark

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Q.  9:  Which country is the largest wine producer in South America?

A.  9:  Argentina

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Q. 10:  Campanology is very popular on festive occasions. What is campanology?

A. 10:  Bell ringing.

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Q. 11:  What was designed by Childe Harold Wills and was colloquially known as the “Tin Lizzie” and the “Flivver”?

A. 11:  The Ford Model-T automobile

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Q. 12:  ‘Trapper’, ‘Hawkeye’ and ‘Radar’ appear in which TV program?

A. 12:  M*A*S*H

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Q. 13:  What does the Greek root ‘adelph’ mean?

A. 13:  Brother (as in Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love)

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Q. 14:  What was the name of the 1783 treaty that formally ended the American Revolutionary War?

A. 14:  The Treaty of Paris

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Q. 15:  The answer to this one is just three letters and they mean a river of southern Italy, an Indo-Chinese language and the initials of a very popular and long running American police procedural legal drama television series, What are the three letters?

A. 15:  LAO (Law and Order)

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Q. 16:  How many normal size wine bottles would you have in a Methuselah?

A. 16:  8

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Q. 17:  What would the waiter bring to your table if you ordered ‘priest choker’ in an Italian restaurant?

A. 17:  Pasta (Strozzapreti pasta, means ‘priest choker’)

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Q. 18:  Which accurate sport term is also the name of Bill Sikes’ vicious dog in the novel ‘Oliver Twist’?

A. 18:  Bulls Eye

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Q. 19:  What number do the Roman numerals ‘XL’ represent?

A. 19:  40

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Q. 20:  And finally, spell that atrocious and precocious word from the movie ‘Mary Poppins’.

A. 20:  SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS

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Check This One Out: 1

 “Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Once again the clue to today’s post was in the title.

And since you checked the one in the title out why not check the rest of them out too.

Here is the latest selection of puns for you to endure or hopefully, enjoy.

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Tell you what floats my boat.

Water.

my boat

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What do houseflies and Mac users have in common?

Neither of them understand how Windows work.

flies

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Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away…

or is it just one of Granny’s myths?

apple_green_clipart

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I for one…

…but that’s Roman numerals for you.

IV

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I knew a guy who fell into an industrial grinding machine.

He’s fine now.

grinder

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I have no beef with vegetarians.

pig-pork-cartoon

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I slipped on some dog s**t the other day.

It didn’t suit me though.

clean dog

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I hate it how people keep texting me “k”.

I am very rarely in the mood to talk about potassium.

texting

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I bought some biscuits yesterday, on the packet it said,

“Store in a cool place.”

So I mailed them to Samuel L. Jackson’s house.

Samuel_L_Jackson

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When I was a kid people used to cover me

in cream and put a cherry on my head,

it was tough being brought up in the gateau.    

cartoon-gateau

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I bought a CD which was just the sound of water flowing.

I didn’t like it though, it was too main-stream.

water

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A bartender drowned in a tidal wave of tonic water after a case exploded,

he was schwepped away.

schweppes

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There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. 

numerator_and_denominator

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Ten words, two commas, an exclamation mark

and a period all appeared in court yesterday…

They’re due to be sentenced next week.

judge_sentence_detroit

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The other day, an attendant stopped me in a hospital car park to tell me,

“You can’t park here. It’s badge holders only.”

I replied, “But I have got a bad shoulder.”

badge-holders-only-car-park

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Do you think “Gone With The Wind”

started out as just a draft?

gone_with_the_wind_cover

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I was pulled over by the police today.

“How fast do you think you were going, sir?”

“60mph?” I asked.

“Try 135,” the officer replied.

So I shut the door and drove as fast as I could.

police-officer

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The French are concerned that 77% of their electricity comes from nuclear power.

I think they should stop over-reacting.

france_nuclear

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I’m scared of trampolines.

They make me jump.

cartoon-trampoline

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At last I’ve found out the reason that women ask so many questions.

Apparently they have an extra why chromosome.

questions

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