Did You Know? Here Are The Facts – Let’s Face It Folks, Your Whole Childhood Was A Lie!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes indeed, here are the facts. Another random selection for your enjoyment.

I hope you find them interesting, maybe even educational.  

And, of course, you’ll find out a little later why your whole childhood was a lie.

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did you know2

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The chances of making two holes-in-one in a round of golf

are one in sixty-seven million, 1:67,000,000.

Did You Know hole in one

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Another word for hiccups is ‘singultus’.

Did You Know hiccups

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Airports that are at higher altitudes require

a longer airstrip due to lower air density.

Did You Know lukla-airport

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The only poisonous birds in the world are the three species of Pitohui.

The Hooded Pitohui from Papua New Guinea is the most deadly out of the three

Did You Know Hooded Pitohui poisoness bird

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In 1955, only 330 Volkswagen Beetle’s were sold

at a price of $1800 each in the United States.

Did You Know 1955_volkswagen_beetle

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The Chihuahua was named after

the Mexican state where they were discovered

Did You Know Chihuahua

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There are more than 640 muscles in the human body

(and as you get older they all start to hurt!)

Did You Know Chihuahua

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The odds of having quadruplets are 1 in 729,000

(for men the odds are much higher!)

Did You Know Popeye Quadruplets

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The destruction of the Berlin Wall began when private citizens

started to demolish entire sections of the Wall without interference

from government officials on November 9, 1989

Did You Know berlin_wall

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France is known as the perfume capital of the world

Did You Know France perfume

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Since its introduction in February 1935,

more than two hundred million Monopoly board games

have been sold worldwide

Did You Know Obama-Monopoly

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It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL

with enough leather for a year’s supply of footballs.

Did You Know NFL-football

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When former Texas Governor James Hogg was on his deathbed

he made a special request that a pecan tree

be planted at the head of his grave instead of a tombstone.

The governor passed away on March 2, 1906,

which is Texas Independence Day.

The pecan tree is now the state tree of Texas

Did You Know Jim_hogg

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In 1477, the first diamond engagement ring was given to

Mary of Burgundy by Archduke Maximillian of Austria

Did You Know 1st diamond engagement ring

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The smallest frog is the “Brazilian baby frog”,

which is smaller than a dime

Did You Know brazilian_gold_frog

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India used to be the richest country in the world

until the British invasion in the early 17th Century

Did You Know Golden_Temple_India

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Marie Curie, the Nobel prize winning scientist who discovered radium,

died of radiation poisoning

Did You Know Marie_Curie_c1920

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The iron disulfide (Pyrite) is considered “fool’s gold”

because it looks very similar to gold.

Did You Know fools_gold

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In 1759, St. James’s Gate Brewery (where they brew Guinness)

was leased for to Arthur Guinness for 9,000 years for 45 pounds per year.

Did You Know St James Gate Guinness Brewery entrance

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A Roadrunner’s top speed is 20 mph

while coyotes can reach speeds of up to 43 mph

– so let’s face it folks, your whole childhood was a lie!

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A Man Walked Into A Hardware Store….

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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In case today’s title was a little bit obscure for you, it’s pun day again.

Yes even more of those bad jokes and word plays.

Enjoy!

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A man walked into a hardware store and picked up a can of fly spray.

“Is this good for wasps?” he asked the assistant.

“No, it kills them,” was the reply.

hardware store

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My Doctor told me I’m a Paranoid Schizophrenic.

We think he’s out to get us

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I went into the pharmacy last week and said to the woman behind the counter, “Packet of three, please, Miss.”

“Don’t you Miss me, young man,” she replied.

I said, “Okay, better make that four then!”

pharmacy

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I used to go out with a midget but we broke up.

We just couldn’t see eye to eye.

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I went to the missing persons bureau,

but there was no-one there.

missing persons bureau

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Four fonts walk into a bar

The barman says, “Oi – get out! We don’t want your type in here.”

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Why do they call it ‘raw’ sewage?

Is someone somewhere cooking it?

cartoon-chef

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I am very much into DIY.

Every time the wife asks me to do anything, I say, “do it yourself.”

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Ted Kennedy got told off for not opening the door for his girlfriend when he was on a date.

Instead he just swam to the surface.

kennedy_cartoon

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Computers are like air conditioners.

They work fine until you start opening windows.

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Food has supplanted sex as the main driving force in my life

– now I can’t even get into my own pants.

pants

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I had a horrible childhood.

My father was a Pontoon dealer in Vegas,

that’s why he used to hit me till I was 21

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I conducted an orchestra the other day.

It’s more fun than you can shake a stick at.

Conductor

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They say being a hostage is difficult…

…But I could do that with my hands tied behind my back.

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What’s got four legs and goes “boo”?

A cow with a cold.

cartoon-cow

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The Interstate was blocked for an hour yesterday

after a car driven by a hunchback crashed into a car driven by a bearded lady.

Police are describing it as a freak accident.

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Bloody feminists.

They should all be put behind bras.

comic_feministbraburnings

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What kind of bees make milk?

Boobies!

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