Sometimes I Forget How Amazing My Memory Is.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Hi everyone. Its 2015 so a Very Happy New Year to one and all.

And to get this new year off to a good start here is a bit of word play for you.

Yes, it’s Pun Day.

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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Drums with no skins.

You can’t beat them.

Drums with no skins

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Just to clear things up,

I use a brush

brush

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Want to hear a construction joke?

I’m building up to it.

simponsconstruct

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My leg won’t stop mooing.

I think I’ve got a calf injury.

mooing

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I’d find some affordable glasses,

in an eye deal world.

affordable glasses

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I had a fight with some

furniture the other day.

Nobody won though,

it was a drawer.

drawer

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A Spanish magician tells the audience

he will disappear on the count of three.

He says, “Uno, dos…..”

*POOF*

….he disappeared without a tres.

jorge-blass

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I was in good position to win the

International shoelace-tying

championships yesterday ,

But I buckled under the pressure.

shoelace-tying

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I just realized that I haven’t done

the hokey pokey in over 10 years.

I guess when you get older,

you just forget what it’s all about.

hokey pokey

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I hated my job as an escapologist.

I couldn’t get out of it quick enough.

escapologist

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An Irish ‘Star Trek’ fan has been

assassinated by the Mafia.

He was capped in Cork.

Cork, Ireland

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Whenever I see a broken elevator

I stair.

broken elevator

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My family regard my cousin

as a skeleton in the closet.

He’s a gay anorexic.

skeleton in the closet

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I’ve come to the belief that ‘crazy’

is a relative term with my family.

crazy

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Where does a Jamaican composer live?

In D flat.

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Did You Know? – Fasab’s Fabulous Fact Feast!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureucracy”

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Another fabulous fact feast on the fasab blog.

Hope there are a few things in here that are new and interesting for you.

Enjoy.

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did you know2

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Pepsi-Cola was originally called “Brad’s Drink.”

Brad's Drink

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Most supermarkets place their bakery areas near the entrance

because studies have shown that the aroma of fresh-baked goods

makes customers spend more money.

bakery-supermarket

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Although most people think that it was a spin-off from the telephone,

the first fax machine was actually invented over 25 years before the telephone.

first-fax-machine

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The Kentucky Derby is also known as the Run for the Roses.

KentuckyDerbyRace

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Not all comets are as “regular” as Halley’s Comet.

Astronomers believe that Comet West,

which last visited our neighborhood in 1975-76,

won’t be seen again for another half-million years.

comet_west_1976

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In 1835, John Wilkes Booth’s father Junius

threatened to kill President Andrew Jackson.

Junius Brutus Booth

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Cashews are related to poison ivy.

Cashews

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The fortune cookie was invented in the early 20th century

by Makato Hagiwara, who designed the Japanese Tea Garden

in San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park.

He intended the cookie to be a snack for people walking through the garden.

fortune cookie

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Bubble gum is pink because when it was invented,

pink was the only food dye on hand.

bubble_gum

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The first skyjacking occurred in 1931 in the skies above Peru.

Two rebel soldiers forced the pilot of a Fokker F-27 to fly them over Lima

so they could drop propaganda pamphlets onto the city.

Fokker_F-27

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Teddy Roosevelt’s first wife and mother

died on the same day in the same house.

The day was Valentine’s Day of 1884.

Mr. & Mrs. Theodore Roosevelt

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The “Crows Nest” on a ship

(the basket near the top of the mast)

used to actually contain a crow.

The ships navigator would use one of the birds as a guide in bad weather,

since they invariably flew towards land.

ship_crows_nest

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Only 1% of all the readily accessible water on earth is drinkable.

potable water

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In 1557, European doctors recommended smoking

to combat bad breath and cancer.

woman_multiple_cigarettes1

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In the 1904 Olympics, American gymnast George Eyser

faired quite well, winning six medals

even though his left leg was made of wood.

George Eyser

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Al Capone’s brother was a cop.

al-capone

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The Orange River in southern Africa

isn’t named for the fruit or the color;

it’s named for the Dutch royal family

who sent explorers to “discover” the area.

Orange-River

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The Haskell Free Library and Opera House

straddles the Canadian and Vermont border.

The actors perform in Canada

while most of the audience sits in the United States.

There is even a painted line running through the building.

Haskell Free Library and Opera House, Quebec-Vermont border

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The phrase “going commando” originated during the Vietnam War,

a time when American troops spent extended periods of time in hot, humid jungles.

Wearing tight-fitting undergarments reduced ventilation

and increased the risk of fungal infections in the groin area.

going-commando

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Generally, the higher a dog’s cholesterol,

the more likely they are to chase their tail.

Especially if they’re female!

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Did You Know? The Facts Are Here!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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The facts are certainly here.

It’s up to you to choose how valuable and interesting they are.

Apart from anything else I hope you enjoy reading them.

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did you know1

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To save money when you shop, don’t touch anything.

Touching an item makes you more likely to buy it, and willing to pay more.

http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1889081,00.html

did you know touching

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The famous US Pony Express only lasted a single year

before the transcontinental telegraph made the route obsolete.

did you know pony express

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In a 2008 survey,

58% of British teens thought Sherlock Holmes was a real guy,

while 20% thought Winston Churchill was not.

did you know churchill-holmes

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Before his writing career took off, Dan Brown was a singer/songwriter.

His second album was titled Angels & Demons.

did you know angelsdemons

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During a 1956 speech for his campaign of de-Stalinization,

Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev was asked by an unseen audience member why,

as an advisor to the dictator, he had never stopped Stalin from committing his atrocities.

Khrushchev immediately lashed out, “Who said that?”

The room grew quiet.

Khrushchev repeated his query to more silence, waited a beat,

and then said, “Well, now you understand why.”

did you know Khrushchev

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The first US President to earn a PhD was Woodrow Wilson.

did you know Woodrow Wilson

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The U.K.’s police headquarters, Scotland Yard,

is not (and never was) located in Scotland.

Scotland Yard was originally a palace

where Scottish royalty stayed when visiting London.

did you know New_Scotland_Yard_sign

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Wendy’s founder, Dave Thomas,

used to work for Kentucky Fried Chicken.

did you know Dave Thomas Wendy's

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The first VCR, developed by the Ampex Corporation in 1956,

weighed nearly 1,500 lbs.

It took another 15 years before a commercially viable product hit the scene.

did you know ampex-commercial-vtr-1956

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The Vatican Bank is the world’s only bank

that allows ATM users to perform transactions in Latin.

did you know ATM-Latin

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The municipal government of Paris passed a resolution

to prohibit Tom Cruise from becoming an honorary citizen of the city.

For them it was ‘une mission impossible!’

did you know Tom Cruise Mission_Impossible_II_(MI2)

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Only one U.S. coin

— the zinc-coated steel penny produced during World War II —

can be picked up by a magnet.

did you know WWII steel penny

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During the Vietnam War, the Viet Cong hid IEDs in empty soda cans

because they observed that US Soldiers enjoyed kicking empty cans

while marching down the road.

Warning to the politicians perhaps who recently

have done little else but kick the can down the road.

did you know kicking-the-can-down-the-road

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Simon Bolivar is the only person in the world

to have two sovereign nations named after him:

Bolivia

and

Venezuela

(the country’s full name is Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela).

did you know bolivar

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At the 1960 Winter Olympic Games,

Walt Disney was Chairman of the Pageantry Committee

that was responsible for producing both

the opening and closing ceremonies.

did you know walt_olympics

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Butterflies range in size from a tiny 1/8 inch to a huge almost 12 inches.

did you know butterfly

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After racking up a $40 late fee on a VHS copy of Apollo 13,

Reed Hastings was inspired to start Netflix

did you know Netflix-CEO-Reed-Hastings

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Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

did you know bang-head-here

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The most Academy Awards (Oscars) won by a woman was eight,

by Edith Head, all for Costume Design

did you know the-much-honored-costume-designer-edith-head-1954

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Black-eyed peas aren’t peas, but beans,

and also a famous American hip hop group.

And coffee beans aren’t beans, but seeds.

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Perfectly Timed Photos, Part Four

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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We’re getting close to the end of another month and close to the end of this short series.

Hope you enjoy this penultimate selection of perfectly times photos.

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 ptp No, I won't wave

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ptp Quick - grab my beer

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ptp right-moment

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ptp saddlesore

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ptp See Through Book

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ptp she_loves_a_cock

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skater

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ptp supportive crowd

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ptp tevez

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ptp Thanks for the ride

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ptp water stand

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avoiding-tornado

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The Herd Shall Not Be Heard!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It’s time for a Sunday Sermon!

cartoon-illustration-of-a-spy-wearing-a-hat-and-trenchcoat

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Whether we realize it or like it, the advent of the internet has changed all our lives. From power users like myself to just casual users, things are a lot different from how they used to be.

There are, of course, negatives like the increase of spam, fraud, pornography and so forth, but by and large the impact of the internet has been a positive one.

It has made finding information much quicker and easier.

It has given us better and cheaper communication possibilities such as Skype.

It has revolutionized shopping for millions of people.

And it has spawned new social interaction platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr, and not forgetting blogging sites such as WordPress, allowing people to find groups and individuals all over the world with similar interests to their own.

But perhaps the greatest thing that the internet has achieved is to give freedom for ordinary people to say what they want to say and have that reach a much bigger audience than would have hitherto been possible without having to spend vast sums of money trying to do it.

Unfortunately, however, that freedom is the one thing that governments cannot tolerate. Hell bent on control, they see the freedom that the internet provides as a threat to their power. And slowly but relentlessly they are chipping away at that freedom.

In China there is no pretense or deceit. The government there controls the internet and that’s just how it is.

However in the West, as they always do, governments create smokescreens to hide their real objectives. They read our private emails and listen to our private phone calls in secret, only reluctantly admitting to it when they are exposed by a whistleblower such as Edward Snowden, last seen leaving Hong Kong and heading for Moscow.

edward-snowden

And even when they are exposed they can’t tell the truth about what they are doing and why they are doing it. Invariably the excuse trotted out is “security issues”, in other words, they are doing what we don’t want them to do and invading our privacy, for our own good! 

If governments expect the people to have confidence in them, then they in turn should show confidence in the people. That means doing their job properly and targeting people and groups that are a possible threat without treating everyone as a potential terrorist.

And it means being honest with their people. 

Will that happen?

Not a chance!

As I said earlier the game isn’t about what is good for the people, the game is about control of the people. And a big part of that control is ensuring that the herd shall not be heard – if they have anything important to say that the government doesn’t want us to know!

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More Of Those Questions That Are Well Worth Asking, But Nobody Bothers To Ask

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Well, apparently I was right, last week’s selection of questions that are worth asking, but nobody bothers to ask, weren’t life changing. But some people seemed to like them, so here is another batch for your consideration.

As usual, enjoy.

 

 

What can deaf people use instead of an Alarm Clock?

 

Why are Softballs hard?

 

Why aren’t Blueberry’s blue?

 

Do Butterfly’s make butter?

 

Does the Queen Bee have a King?

 

Can you carry a Kangaroo on your back?

 

Is a gold knife or fork still considered Silverware?

 

Why isn’t Chocolate considered a vegetable if it comes from Cocoa Beans?

 

What happens when you get ‘half scared to death’ twice?

 

Is it true cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?

 

If all the world’s a stage, where does the audience sit?

 

Why are the alphabets in the order that they are? Is it because it’s a song?

 

If you write a book about failure, and it doesn’t sell, is it called success?

 

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

 

If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

 

Are the good things that come to people who wait, the leftovers of people who went before them?

 

Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?

 

Isn’t Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

 

Why is Greenland called Greenland, when it’s white and covered with ice?

 

If something ‘goes without saying’, why do people still say it?

 

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