It’s The Quiz!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It’s the quiz again.

Time to test your knowledge of a wide range of subjects including geography, history, politics, music, movies, sport… even space!

And a lot of muli-pointers to give you the chance of building up a good score.

As usual if you get stuct you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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Quiz 5

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Q.  1: What side of the road do you drive on in Japan, is it on the right (like the USA) or on the left (like Britain)?

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Q.  2: Who won this year’s (2014) Gentlemans and Ladies Singles titles at the world famous Wimbledon Tennis Tournament in England? (A point for each correct answer and a bonus point if you get both correct.)

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Q.  3: What is the most distant human-made object from Earth?

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Q.  4: What is the automobile that began as a project between Swatch and Mercedes most commonly known as?

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Q.  5: In the days when countries took control of other nations and territories overseas they were called Empires. Which country at one time controlled the largest Empire in the world (in terms of land area)?

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Q.  6: There are twelve buttons on a touch tone phone. What two symbols bear no digits?

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Q.  7: In which branch of the armed forces did William Hitler, a nephew of Adolf Hitler, serve during World War II?

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Q.  8: One chocolate chip can give you enough energy to walk approximately how many feet?

            a)  50 feet        b)  100 feet          c)  150 feet          d)  200 feet

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Q.  9: Plus or minus ten, The Bahamas consists of approximately how many islands?

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Q.  10: How many ‘Terminator’ movies have there been to date (2014)? (Bonus points if you can name them and the year they were released.)

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Q.  11: Who were the magician duo, known for their magic with big cats, who became the most successful and best known entertainers in Las Vegas?

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Q.  12: How many US Presidents have been assassinated? (A bonus point for each that you can name and even more points if you know where the assassinations took place and the names of the assassins.)

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Q.  13: If you added the number of players in a basket ball team, the number of players in an American football team, the number of players in a soccer team and the number of players in a rugby union team, what would be the total?

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Q.  14: Famous as Bret Maverick and Jim Rockford, who was he?

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Q.  15: What is the collective name for the 26 self-governing districts into which Switzerland is divided?

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Q.  16: The month of August falls within which two Zodiac signs?

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Q.  17: What was the name of the unexpected hit TV series about an unlikely duo who cook methamphetamine?

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Q.  18: Who is the current Prime Minister of Israel?

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Q.  19: Rolls-Royce Motor Cars Limited is currently owned by whom?

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Q.  20: What song by the group Queen made it to number 1 in the British charts twice, in 1976 and 1991?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1: What side of the road do you drive on in Japan, is it on the right (like the USA) or on the left (like Britain)?

A.  1: In Japan you must drive on the left side of the road.

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Q.  2: Who won this year’s (2014) Gentlemans and Ladies Singles titles at the world famous Wimbledon Tennis Tournament in England? (A point for each correct answer and a bonus point if you get both correct.)

A.  2: In the 2014 Wimbledon tennis tournament Novak Djokovic was the winner of the Gentlemen’s Singles and Petra Kvitova was the winner of the Ladies’ Singles.

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Q.  3: What is the most distant human-made object from Earth?

A.  3: The Voyager 1 spacecraft is the most distant human-made object from Earth.

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Q.  4: What is the automobile that began as a project between Swatch and Mercedes most commonly known as?

A.  4: It is called the “SMART car”, an abbreviation of its original code name, the Swatch & Mercedes Art Car.

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Q.  5: In the days when countries took control of other nations and territories overseas they were called Empires. Which country at one time controlled the largest Empire in the world (in terms of land area)?

A.  5: Britain, whose Empire at one stage was 33.2 million km2  (approximately 8.2 billion acres).

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Q.  6: There are twelve buttons on a touch tone phone. What two symbols bear no digits?

A.  6: The star *  and the hash #  buttons have no digits.

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Q.  7: In which branch of the armed forces did William Hitler, a nephew of Adolf Hitler, serve during World War II?

A.  7: Adolf Hitler’s nephew, William, served in the Navy during WWII – the U.S. Navy!

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Q.  8: One chocolate chip can give you enough energy to walk approximately how many feet?

            a)  50 feet        b)  100 feet          c)  150 feet          d)  200 feet

A.  8: The correct answer is c) 150 feet.

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Q.  9: Plus or minus ten, The Bahamas consists of approximately how many islands?

A.  9: The Bahamas consists of approximately 501 islands, give yourself a point if you said anything between 491 to 511.

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Q.  10: How many ‘Terminator’ movies have there been to date (2014)? (Bonus points if you can name them and the year they were released.)

A.  10: There have been four ‘Terminator’ movies to date (2014); they are ‘The Terminator’ (1984); ‘Terminator 2: Judgment Day’ (1991);  ‘Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines’ (2003);  and, ‘Terminator Salvation’ (2009). A fifth Terminator movie is in post production scheduled for release in 2015.

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Q.  11: Who were the magician duo, known for their magic with big cats, who became the most successful and best known entertainers in Las Vegas?

A.  11: Siegfried and Roy.

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Q.  12: How many US Presidents have been assassinated? (A bonus point for each that you can name and even more points if you know where the assassinations took place and the names of the assassins.)

A.  12: Four US Presidents have been assassinated: Abraham Lincoln, in Washington, D.C., on Good Friday, April 14, 1865, by John Wilkes Booth; James A. Garfield, also in Washington, D.C., on Saturday, July 2, 1881, by Charles J. Guiteau; William McKinley, in Buffalo, New York, on Friday, September 6, 1901, by Leon Czolgosz; and John F. Kennedy, in Dallas, Texas, on Friday, November 22, 1963, by Lee Harvey Oswald.

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Q.  13: If you added the number of players in a basket ball team, the number of players in an American football team, the number of players in a soccer team and the number of players in a rugby union team, what would be the total?

A.  13: The answer is 42  (5 + 11 + 11 + 15).

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Q.  14: Famous as Bret Maverick and Jim Rockford, who was he?

A.  14: He was James Garner, who sadly passed away on July 19, 2014.

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Q.  15: What is the collective name for the 26 self-governing districts into which Switzerland is divided?

A.  15: They are called ‘Cantons’.

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Q.  16: The month of August falls within which two Zodiac signs?

A.  16: The zodiac signs for the month of August are Leo (until August 22) and Virgo (from August 23 onwards).

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Q.  17: What was the name of the unexpected hit TV series about an unlikely duo who cook methamphetamine?

A.  17: Breaking Bad. The show originally aired on the AMC network for five seasons, from January 20, 2008 to September 29, 2013.

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Q.  18: Who is the current Prime Minister of Israel?

A.  18: Benjamin Netanyahu. (No points deducted if you get the spelling wrong.)

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Q.  19: Rolls-Royce Motor Cars Limited is currently owned by whom?

A.  19: Rolls-Royce Motor Cars Limited is a wholly owned subsidiary of BMW AG.

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Q.  20: What song by the group Queen made it to number 1 in the British charts twice, in 1976 and 1991?

A.  20: “Bohemian Rhapsody”.

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Did You Know? – Americans, Chinese, French, Greeks, There’s Facts About All Of Them In Here!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, today is a bit of a multi-cultural fact feast.

Hope you enjoy.

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did you know2

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Brown eyes are actually blue,

under a layer of melanin.

blue eyes

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Billionaire Chuck Feeney donated most of his fortune

anonymously and with no recognition,

while flying coach, owning a $15 watch,

and having no cars or homes.

Billionaire Chuck Feeney

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George Washington was surprised to discover

that the Chinese were not white.

(I wonder how surprised they were to find out he was?)

chinese drawing

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When it first opened in 1955 Disneyland had

a lingerie store on Main Street called The Wizard Of Bras

The Wizard Of Bras

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In the mid 1800s France gave a crucial patent

in photography as a free gift to the world…

except for Britain who had to pay for it!

photographing the eiffel tower

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Disaster comes from the Greek

“dis” meaning bad,

and “aster”, meaning star.

The ancient Greeks used to blame calamities

on unfavorable planetary positions.

disaster-sign

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If you are in a room with 23 people,

there’s more than a 50% chance that

two of the people have the same birthday.

Birthday_Paradox.svg

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There are more tigers living in Texas

than in the rest of the world.

tiger

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While serving as sheriff of Erie County, N.Y.,

Grover Cleveland had to spring the trap

at a hanging on two occassions.

This earned him the unflattering nickname

“Buffalo Hangman.”

Grover Cleveland

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Workers at Amazon’s distribution centers

can be expected to walk up to 11 miles per shift,

picking an order every 33 seconds.

Amazon's distribution centers

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The shortest French word with all

five vowels is “oiseau” meaning bird.

oiseau

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Des Moines has the highest per capita0

Jello consumption in the U.S

Des Moines jello capital

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In 1770 the British parliament passed a law

condemning lipstick, stating that

” women found guilty of seducing men

into matrimony by a cosmetic means”

could be tried for witchcraft.

law condemning lipstick

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Mr Feng, a Chinese father, hired a bunch of assassins

to kill his son’s online World of Warcraft character.

Apparently his son was wasting too much time after being laid off.

Mr Feng, World of Warcraft

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Spencer Eldon was the name of the naked baby

on the cover of Nirvana’s album

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I Just Knew I Was Going To Get Thrown Out Of The Optimism Society.

 “Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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And if you were an optimist who thought there would be no puns in June, then your membership of the society is in doubt too.

Here’s the latest batch.

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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Some people have a way with words,

others not have way.

you_have_a_way_with_words_by_geistgirl-d4a9hky

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My friend received an email yesterday asking him

to send trouser zips to the address provided.

I told him to ignore it,

it sounds like they are fly phishing.

trouser zips

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I thought growing my own lettuce would be difficult

but it was quite easy in the end.

It’s not rocket science.

rocket lettuce

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A policeman asked me to come down

to the station for an interview.

I haven’t even applied for a job there.

police_officer_cartman

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This linguistics professor was lecturing the class.

“In English,” he explained, “a double negative forms a positive.

In some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative.”

“However,” the professor continued, “there is no language wherein

a double positive can form a negative.”

Immediately, a voice from the back of the room piped up:

“Yeah….. right….”

linguistics professor double negative

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I remember when my parents died,

all they left me was a globe.

It meant the world to me….

globe

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If I had a billion pounds

for every time I underestimated…

I would be a millionaire.

1 billion versus 1 million dollars

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My mate Steven, who shares the same name as me,

thought it was funny to erase the letters ‘St’ from my pencil case.

So, during break, I did the same to his.

Now we’re even.

steven even

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My father worked in a steel fabrication plant.

They didn’t produce anything,

they just said they did.

empty steel fabrication plant

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Jimmy: “Can I ask you a question?”

Ted: “Sure, what is it?”

Jimmy: “It’s an interrogative statement, used to test knowledge.”

an interrogative statement

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I have no idea what the opposite of imagination is.

NO IDEA PIC

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After hearing my son saying,

“I want to be good with acoustic,”

I decided to buy him a guitar.

Turns out he wanted a pool cue.

pool cue

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The Internet now has the second largest collection of jokes in the world…

The House of Representatives is still hanging on to the top spot.

House of Representatives

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I told my mum I was going out for a walk.

She said, “How long will you be gone?”

I said, “Probably the whole time”

out for a walk

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Look, at the end of the day

….. it’s night!

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Did You Know? It’s Another Furious Fact Feast.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Another furious fact feast it is.

And I bet there are at least some of these you didn’t know.

So read on and….

Enjoy.

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did you know5

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The bible is available

in 2454 languages.

king-james-bible

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There are 2,400 languages classified as being ‘endangered’.

231 languages are now completely extinct.

One language dies about every 14 days.

language-extinction-hotspot

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If you have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, you have $1.19.

You also have the largest amount of money in coins

without being able to make change for a dollar.

3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, you have $1.19

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In the average lifetime, a person will walk

the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.

the equator

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In the early days of the telephone,

operators would pick up a call and use the phrase,

“Well, are you there?”.

It wasn’t until 1895 that someone suggested

answering the phone with the phrase

“number please?”

telephone operators 1800s

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The surface area of

an average-sized brick

is 79 cm squared.

jumbo_brick

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It would take 11 Empire State Buildings,

stacked one on top of the other,

to measure the Gulf of Mexico at its deepest point.

Empire State Building

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It took Leo Tolstoy six years to write “War & Peace”.

(It took me longer to read it!)

War_and_Peace_book

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The names of the two stone lions in front of the

New York Public Library are Patience and Fortitude.

They were named by then-mayor Fiorello LaGuardia.

New York Public Library lions

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When Concorde was flying from London to New York,

due to the time zones crossed,

you could arrive 2 hours before you departed.

Concorde

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Many Police dogs are trained to react to commands in a foreign language;

commonly German but more recently Dutch or Hungarian.

Police dogs training

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On the new hundred dollar bill the time

on the clock tower of Independence Hall is 4:10.

$100 bill back

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In ancient Rome,

it was considered a sign of leadership

to be born with a crooked nose.

stephen-fry

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Minus 40 degrees Celsius

is exactly the same as

minus 40 degrees Fahrenheit.

Minus 40 degrees Celsius is exactly the same as minus 40 degrees Fahrenheit

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Stressed

spelled backwards is

Desserts!

stressed scale

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Yesterday It Was The Answers That Were The Problem, Today It’s The Questions

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yesterday it was the answers that were the problem. Today it is the questions. Here is another selection of those important questions that very few seem to want to ask.

Enjoy.

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Why do overalls have belt loops, since they are held up at the top by the straps?

why do overalls have belt loops?.

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Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?.

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Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Obama nailing coffin shut. .

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Why people are so scared of mice, which are much smaller than us, when no one seems to be scared of Micky Mouse, who is bigger than us?

Mickey Mouse .

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How come we never hear about gruntled employees?

gruntled employees .

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Why are plastic bears the only animal you can get honey from? Why can’t you get honey from a plastic bee?

HoneyBear.

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What happens when you put hand sanitizer on a place other than your hand?

What happens when you put hand sanitizer on a place other then your hand?.

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Can you “stare off into space” when you’re in space?

stare off into space

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Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

lethal-injection

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If there were a thousand seaguls in an airplane while its flying, each weighing two pounds a piece, but they were all flying in the airplane, would the airplane weigh 2000 pounds more?

seagull plane

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If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk?

cartoon fly

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If a food processor slices and dices food, what does a word processor do?

food word processor combo

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Why isn’t there mouse flavored cat food?

mouse flavored cat food

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If a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

monkey

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If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?

JoggingCartoons

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If a mirror reverses right and left, why doesn’t it reverse up and down?

mirror images

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If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

humanitarian meal

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Drained Of Life – Almost

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

 

The last couple of blog post have concerned people featured in the Darwin Awards, “Never Hitch Your Wagon” about someone who wasn’t eligible because he survived his and his wife’s stupidity, and “Little Dumb And Large Dumber”  because their dumbness did make them successful Darwin Award winners.

I had a friend who almost featured in the Darwin Awards too. The only reason he didn’t was because they didn’t exist in those days and probably none of us would have had the presence of mind to nominate him anyway.

I won’t tell you his real name, have to expose the innocent and protect the guilty and all that, but his nickname was “Goners” pronounced “Gone-ers”. It was a nickname he gained after the incident I am now going to tell you about, and for most of his friends he’s still stuck with it to this day.

It happened when we were all young guys, in our teens and spending a leisurely summer messing around and generally enjoying life the way you can before you get older and wiser and burden yourself with responsibilities and debt and so forth. Then the Dads were paying the mortgage and bringing home the bacon (sometimes literally) and we were carefree and happy.

This day we decided to go for a walk along a nearby river. None of us were keen fishermen but we liked the river and walks along the riverbanks and the little stony beaches that the river’s meanders had left here and there. That particular summer was hot and a bit of bathing in the cool clear unpolluted water was also on the agenda.

It wasn’t a big river, no Amazon that’s for sure. Just about 50 feet across, or thereabouts, and maybe four or five feet deep towards the middle. There were a few deeper holes that serious fishermen tended to use, but we were always content messing around in the shallower water. It was fun and safe. In fact thinking and writing about it, I wish I was back there right now.

But I’m not, so on with the story.

Part of the river bank was relatively flat with only a slightly sloping bank down to the water. Other parts were a straight drop. And yet others consisted of a fairly steep slope down to the water’s edge.

Local farmers had dug drains at intervals to let rainwater run off their fields into the river, and between where the man-made drains ended and the river began, the water flow had over the years dug its own ‘V’ and then ‘U’ type trenches by eroding the top soil.

These had to be negotiated when one was walking along the riverbank, but it wasn’t a problem. That was how things were and everybody just accepted it and got on with it. I’m sure nowadays there would be a bureaucratic do-gooding group wanting all sorts of rules and regulations both to disrupt the farmer’s lives and to spoil the nature walk for the rest of us. In those days some interfering busybody was more likely to end up in the river and they knew it so they stayed away.

Of course, when I said the drains weren’t a problem, what I meant was they weren’t a problem for most of the people most of the time. But there’s always one idiot who will find a way to mess up even a nice summer’s day stroll along the riverbank.

Enter “Goners” into the story.

Although the day I am recounting was idyllic weather wise, during the previous night there had been a thunderstorm and some furious rain for a little while. The result of that was that the following morning there was considerable run-off of rainwater from the fields, via the farmer’s drains into the river. This made the areas close to the drains a little wet and slippery, not to mention mucky.

We had been walking for a few miles, successfully crossing all the open drains we had encountered. And then it happened!

“Goners” tripped or lost is concentration or something, but his balance went and he headed over the side of the riverbank.

At first this caused unbridled hilarity amongst the rest of us. We were laughing and pointing and cheering. If we had had pens and paper with us, no doubt we would have held up makeshift score cards critiquing the ‘dive’. But we hadn’t so we just laughed and laughed, not only at the dive but at the frantic wriggling and gurgling of “Goners” in the trench.

Then somebody twigged on what was happening and said, “OMG I think he’s drowning!”

“How can you drown in three inches of water?”, came a chorus of incredulous replies.

But he was.

“Goners” was in BIG trouble.

He WAS actually drowning in probably less then three inches of water.

“Goners” had fallen into the drain nature had made with the water erosion. Obviously he didn’t intend to, and, unprepared, he fell head first, with his arms by his sides, as opposed to being in a normal diving position with his arms outstretched in front of him and slightly raised.

As he had slid down the riverbank towards the water he had embedded himself farther and farther into the drain, trapping his arms by his side.

And when he reached the water, which was indeed barely three inches deep at the edge, his face including his nose and mouth were submerged under the level of the water.

The frantic wriggling wasn’t just to try to free his arms, but to try to get his mouth and nose out of the water to grab some much needed air. And he clearly wasn’t having much success.

Once we realized that he was in real trouble, of course it was all hands on deck so to speak and everyone rushed to his assistance. Two of us each grabbed one of his feet and pulled him back up the bank a little so that his head came out of the water. Much to his relief, and ours, “Goners” made a few huge grabs for air and the crisis seemed to be over.

Now I don’t know to this day whether what happened next was a deliberate act, something sub-conscious, or just another minor accident, but with his movement and gasping for air his feet, which like the rest of him were slippery with the muck from the drain, managed to slip out of our hands and he slid back into the water again. Gurgle, gurgle, wriggle, splutter, gurgle….

We knew he was in no danger this time and yes, we did laugh again. It was funny for everyone but “Goners”. Some of us – not me you understand, no definitely not me, of course not, don’t be silly, how could you think such a thing – could have played that game all day, pulling him out of the river and then letting him slide back in. Thinking about it now, we probably invented a new water-boarding technique, to us at the time it was just fun.

But we must have thought better of it after a couple of ‘dunks’ because the we pulled “Goners” out of the drain completely and back up on to dry land.

When he got his wits about him once again he said, “Thanks guys. I was nearly a goner.”

And that was his nickname for ever more, “Goners”.

It shows you just how easily and innocently things can happen that under different circumstances would have had a lot more tragic results.

Postscript:

Strangely enough, many years later, in the very same river as it happens, a guy called Willy (the same as featured in my blog post “Willy And Woof”) did the very same thing while walking back home from a bar, very, very drunk. That time however there was no one around to help.

Now he could have been a Darwin Award winner!

 

 

Lost In The Fog!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

 

Tommy was just an ordinary bloke. When I got to know him he was getting on in years, in his late seventies I would guess. He was a nice man, very amiable, very kind and great chat. In fact that’s what Tommy liked to do best – chat. He could tell stories all night long.

Tommy was of a generation past who, like my dad, was brought up spending their evenings visiting their friends and having social interaction that did not involve computers, iphones, blackberries, laptops, skype, msn, goggle+, twitter, myface and spacebook or whatever they’re called. You know, all the paraphernalia that we don’t seem able to do without these days. Or maybe better, have become obsessed with these days.

He had been born in the countryside, on a small farm. Too small in fact to sustain the family economically, so when Tommy was of an age he was sent out to find work elsewhere, and elsewhere of course meant the city. Tommy did get himself a job, and a wife and a family and he spent the next forty years or so living in the city suburbs.

He was content enough with his life and so he should have been. He was never out of work, and raised a nice family, two boys and a girl who all of whom did well for themselves. Eventually they all got married and moved away to their own homes and a few years after that Tommy retired. That’s when he got the urge to return to the countryside where he had been born and raised.

So it was that Tommy and his wife bought a small-holding of a few acres in the countryside, quite close to where an uncle of mine lived at the time. Tommy and he were of a similar vintage and they quickly became friends, visiting each other’s houses frequently. Sometimes the get togethers were a bit more formal and the wives came along too. Other times Tommy would just wander across the fields on his own to visit and have a chat with my uncle. There were only three smallish fields between the two houses, whereas the trip via the road would have been at least five times the distance.

This routine went on for several years without noteworthy incident. Then one evening in late autumn Tommy wandered across the fields to talk to my uncle. Nothing unusual in that. They chatted away for several hours, probably had a few beers or a shot of whiskey, which they were both known to frequent, though not abuse.

When it was Tommy’s time to go home the fun started. He put on his jacket and hat and my uncle conveyed him to the back door, which he habitually used. It was more or less in a direct line to his own house. As Tommy was leaving it was getting fairly dark. There was no moonlight to speak of and a fog had started coming down.

I should point out here to people reading this who have never lived in the countryside that at night it is dark, I mean, DARK, very! In cities and towns and their suburbs there is usually street lighting and also an ambient glow that helps to keep real darkness away. In the countryside nothing but the odd light at someone’s house a long, long way off.

As Tommy was leaving my uncle’s house visibility was about ten yards ahead, and he had little trouble in getting to the first field gate and starting his journey back to his own house. He went on more or less on automatic pilot, he had done the journey so many times, and he made it into the second field without difficulty. But all the time he had been walking the fog had been descending and thickening. Now visibility was almost zero, and it was completely dark as well.

After you are out in the dark for a while your eyes adjust. That’s why soldiers and paratroopers and sailors use a red light before they venture out, to allow their night vision to kick in. But fog has a different and very disorienting effect if you aren’t used to it and we weren’t used to it, it maybe happened on this scale once a year, if that.

So there Tommy was in the middle of the second field, in the dark, with the fog, and he was completely lost. Completely!

He kept walking, and walking, and walking, and walking but he never made it to the edge of the field. If he had managed that he could have followed the hedge and fence until he got to a gate. But he never got to the hedge.

All he managed to make contact with that evening were stacks of hay bales that were set up in the field here and there, first to dry a little and then to be collected and brought into the barn.

It’s hard to say how many miles Tommy walked that night, but it could have been at least five, probably more. He was at it for hours. Walk….BUMFFF, into a stack of bales. Walk….BUMFFF, into another stack of bales. Walk….BUMFFF. Walk….BUMFFF. Walk….BUMFFF.

Eventually, fatigued, bewildered, and now frightened he would never see home again, he sat down at the next bunch of hay bales he walked into, pulled a few of them around him and fell asleep.

It was now after midnight and Tommy’s wife was getting anxious that he return home. It wasn’t unusual for him to be late getting back to his own house, once the two old fellas started to chat they could go at it for ages. But this was getting late even for him. My uncle told her that he had left shortly after nine o’clock. It was now approaching 1 am, and they both became alarmed, fearing the worst, that Tommy had become unwell on his walk back to the house.

By this time my uncle was in bed, but up he got, dressed, got himself a torch and away he went outside to look for Tommy. In the intervening three hours or so the fog hadn’t quite disappeared, but it had retreated substantially and visibility with the torch wasn’t too bad. My uncle got his dog, a collie who was delighted at the chance for a night stroll, and they both set off into the first field.

No sign of Tommy. My uncle shouted and shouted, but no response. He walked round the edge of the field, just to make sure Tommy hadn’t fallen into any of the ditches and maybe broken a leg. No, no Tommy.

Then into the next field. My uncle and the dog were just about to start the same process of walking round the periphery of the field again, but before they started he shone his torch in a sweeping motion across the field from right to left. He noticed one stack of hay bales knocked over. He moved his light a little more. Another stack of hay bales on the ground. Then another and another.

“What the hell?” he said to himself, as he surveyed the devastation.

You see, out of something like twenty-three stacks of hay bales, Tommy had managed to blunder into nineteen of them and knock them down. After every one he walked into he must have set off in a completely new direction, like a veritable pin ball he just ricocheted off one lot and meandered on until he hit another and so forth. I have known people with little sense of direction but this was just ridiculous!

They found Tommy a little while later. Well, the dog did first and then my uncle picked out the boots and lower parts of Tommy’s legs sticking out from below some of the upturned hay bales. He got him gathered up and conveyed him back to his own house.

Tommy never did live that journey down.

And he never did venture out in the fog again.

 

 

Have you had similar experiences? Send them along. Let the world know what is happening before it is too late.