China Really Raises A Lot Of Red Flags…

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Maybe that’s something China and puns have in common because they tend to raise a few red flags for some people too.

Not for us, though, because I know you are here for Pun Day!

Enjoy or endure!!

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rofl

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Two silkworms had a race

– it ended in a tie.

 two silk worms had a race

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If you attached a bunch of

watches together to make a belt

it would be a waist of time.

 belt made of watches

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I don’t really know maths too well.

Until recently I thought logarithms

were a brand of laxative.

 logarithms brand of laxative

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As a gift to my girlfriend, Tola,

I tattooed her name on myself in the mirror.

I think that says alot.

 mirror

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A fella in the bar asked me what it’s like to be married.

I said, “Amaze.”

He asked, “You mean amazing?”

I replied, “No, I mean it’s hard to get out of.”

 maze

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I’ve been assembling a condiment army.

It is now fully mustered.

 mustered mustard

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I was asked if I had any plans

for National Nudity Day…

I said “I’ve got nothing on”.

 National Nudity Day

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My little brother cut himself with

a razor shaving this morning.

“How Gillette that happen?” I asked.

 

cut himself with a razor shaving

 

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My dad was a man of few words.

We always beat him at Scrabble.

 Scrabble

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A friend once asked me,

“Do you think you could have an

eraser at both ends of a pencil?”

“I suppose you could,” I replied,

“but what would be the point?”

 eraser at both ends of a pencil

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A large area of the alphabet has been destroyed

in what is thought to have been a terrorist attack.

It’s not yet known who had anything to do with this atrocity.

But early reports indicate G had.

 flaming g

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My friends had a good laugh

at my expense last night.

I paid for them to go

and see a comedian.

 clipart comedian

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What’s the gayest type of question?

A query.       

 query

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My son asked me what

the opposite of a lie is.

It’s a true story.

 a true story

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Was just looking at the all time

top 10 movies list online.

I was surprised Seven wasn’t there.

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Another Week, Another Quiz!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Hi, and welcome to another week and to start it off, another quiz.

The usual selection of random questions to test your knowledge.

And, as usual, if you get stuck you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please, NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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Q.  1:  This one is the name of a famous city and also the man who ran away with Helen?

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Q.  2:  What is the highest mountain in Africa?

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Q.  3:  On which river does the city of Vienna stand?

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Q.  4:  Who was the Empress of India in 1876?

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Q.  5:  In which South American country did the ‘bossa nova’ originate?

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Q.  6:  The so-called “Pastry war” of 1838 was fought between which two nations?

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Q.  7:  Which capital city features in the name of a movie starring Sabu and based on the Arabian Nights?

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Q.  8:  What started in a bakery in Pudding Lane in 1666?

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Q.  9:  To which country does the island of Madeira belong?

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Q. 10:  It’s almost time for the Hollywood Academy Awards again, but who won the Academy Award for best actress two years in a row in 1967 and 1968? (Bonus points if you can also name the movies.)

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Q. 11:  How old was Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart when he died in 1791?

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Q. 12:  What U.S. President committed an unpardonable sin by kissing Britain’s Queen Mother on the lips?

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Q. 13:  On which small island did the USA first test their H bomb in 1954?

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Q. 14:  Most people have heard of the phrase “Crossing the Rubicon” meaning to pass a point of no return, but who was the source of the phrase when he crossed the Rubicon and who was his opponent? (A point for each.)

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Q. 15:  What make of car did Lenin and Stalin have one of that Brezhnev had three of?

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Q. 16:  Which country seceded from Colombia in 1903?

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Q. 17:  Which famous movie title is the Mexican name for the river known in the USA as ‘Rio Grande’?

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Q. 18:  in 1984 who were Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis?

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Q. 19:  What mythological creature did Britain’s King George V have tattooed on his right arm?

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Q. 20:  Versions of this popular song have been recorded by Julie Covington, Madonna, Sarah Brighman, Elaine Paige, Sinead O’Connor, Susan Erens and The Carpenters, among others, what is it?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  This one is the name of a famous city and also the man who ran away with Helen?

A.  1:  Paris.

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Q.  2:  What is the highest mountain in Africa?

A.  2:  Mt. Kilimanjaro.

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Q.  3:  On which river does the city of Vienna stand?

A.  3:  The River Danube.

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Q.  4:  Who was the Empress of India in 1876?

A.  4:  Britain’s Queen Victoria.

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Q.  5:  In which South American country did the ‘bossa nova’ originate?

A.  5:  Brazil.

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Q.  6:  The so-called “Pastry war” of 1838 was fought between which two nations?

A.  6:  Mexico and France.

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Q.  7:  Which capital city features in the name of a movie starring Sabu and based on the Arabian Nights?

A.  7:  Baghdad, the name of the movie is “The Thief of Baghdad”.

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Q.  8:  What started in a bakery in Pudding Lane in 1666?

A.  8:  The great fire of London.

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Q.  9:  To which country does the island of Madeira belong?

A.  9:  Portugal.

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Q. 10:  It’s almost time for the Hollywood Academy Awards again, but who won the Academy Award for best actress two years in a row in 1967 and 1968? (Bonus points if you can also name the movies.)

A. 10:  Katharine Hepburn, in 1967 for ‘Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner’ and in 1968 for ‘The Lion In Winter’.

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Q. 11:  How old was Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart when he died in 1791?

A. 11:  Only 35 years old.

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Q. 12:  What U.S. President committed an unpardonable sin by kissing Britain’s Queen Mother on the lips?

A. 12:  President Jimmy Carter.

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Q. 13:  On which small island did the USA first test their H bomb in 1954?

A. 13:  Bikini.

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Q. 14:  Most people have heard of the phrase “Crossing the Rubicon” meaning to pass a point of no return, but who was the source of the phrase when he crossed the Rubicon and who was his opponent? (A point for each.)

A. 14:  The phrase originated when Julius Caesar crossed the River Rubicon to fight Pompey.

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Q. 15:  What make of car did Lenin and Stalin have one of that Brezhnev had three of?

A. 15:  Rolls Royce.

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Q. 16:  Which country seceded from Colombia in 1903?

A. 16:  Panama.

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Q. 17:  Which famous movie title is the Mexican name for the river known in the USA as ‘Rio Grande’?

A. 17: Rio Bravo

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Q. 18:  in 1984 who were Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis?

A. 18:  They were the ‘Ghostbusters’, a group of misfit parapsychologists Peter Venkman (Bill Murray), Raymond Stantz (Dan Aykroyd), and Egon Spengler (Harold Ramis).

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Q. 19:  What mythological creature did Britain’s King George V have tattooed on his right arm?

A. 19:  A Dragon.

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Q. 20:  Versions of this popular song have been recorded by Julie Covington, Madonna, Sarah Brighman, Elaine Paige, Sinead O’Connor, Susan Erens and The Carpenters, among others, what is it?

A. 20:  “Don’t Cry For Me, Argentina”

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