China Really Raises A Lot Of Red Flags…

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Maybe that’s something China and puns have in common because they tend to raise a few red flags for some people too.

Not for us, though, because I know you are here for Pun Day!

Enjoy or endure!!

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rofl

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Two silkworms had a race

– it ended in a tie.

 two silk worms had a race

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If you attached a bunch of

watches together to make a belt

it would be a waist of time.

 belt made of watches

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I don’t really know maths too well.

Until recently I thought logarithms

were a brand of laxative.

 logarithms brand of laxative

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As a gift to my girlfriend, Tola,

I tattooed her name on myself in the mirror.

I think that says alot.

 mirror

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A fella in the bar asked me what it’s like to be married.

I said, “Amaze.”

He asked, “You mean amazing?”

I replied, “No, I mean it’s hard to get out of.”

 maze

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I’ve been assembling a condiment army.

It is now fully mustered.

 mustered mustard

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I was asked if I had any plans

for National Nudity Day…

I said “I’ve got nothing on”.

 National Nudity Day

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My little brother cut himself with

a razor shaving this morning.

“How Gillette that happen?” I asked.

 

cut himself with a razor shaving

 

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My dad was a man of few words.

We always beat him at Scrabble.

 Scrabble

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A friend once asked me,

“Do you think you could have an

eraser at both ends of a pencil?”

“I suppose you could,” I replied,

“but what would be the point?”

 eraser at both ends of a pencil

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A large area of the alphabet has been destroyed

in what is thought to have been a terrorist attack.

It’s not yet known who had anything to do with this atrocity.

But early reports indicate G had.

 flaming g

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My friends had a good laugh

at my expense last night.

I paid for them to go

and see a comedian.

 clipart comedian

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What’s the gayest type of question?

A query.       

 query

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My son asked me what

the opposite of a lie is.

It’s a true story.

 a true story

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Was just looking at the all time

top 10 movies list online.

I was surprised Seven wasn’t there.

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Twenty More Questions – But Have You Twenty More Answers?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Time to test yourself with the weekly fasab quiz.

Another twenty random questions, with the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below.

But please, NO cheating!

Good luck and enjoy.

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quiz confused1

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Q.  1:  Which epic Hollywood film was the most expensive movie made during the 1960s?

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Q.  2:  Polynesia means ‘many islands’. What does Melanesia mean?

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Q.  3:  Which Beatles song title is mentioned in Don McLean’s hit song ‘American Pie’?

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Q.  4:  Which female tennis player won a record 62 Grand Slam titles?

            a) Billie Jean King

            b) Steffi Graf

            c) Martina Navratilova

            d) Margaret Smith Court

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Q.  5:  What was unusual about the Roman Senator Incitatus?

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Q.  6:  What two countries signed the so called ‘Pact of Steel’ on May 22, 1939?

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Q.  7:  Who travels from Spain to the Netherlands by steamboat in late November?

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Q.  8:  In what prison drama movie, based on a Steven King book, does Morgan Freeman play a starring role?

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Q.  9:  The scientific name for which animal is ‘Ursus arctos horribilis’?

            a) Grizzly bear

            b) Great White shark

            c) Grey wolf

            d) Killer whale

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Q. 10:  What was the name of the German engineer who invented the first rotary engine?

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Q. 11:  Formerly called ‘Tsaritsyn’ and then ‘Stalingrad’, what is it called today?

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Q. 12:  Lutz, Axel and Camel are terms associated with what sport?

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Q. 13:  What is the name for a treat with currants squashed between two thin, oblong biscuits/cookies?

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Q. 14:  Name the French cartoon skunk that is madly in love with a reluctant cat?

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Q. 15:  What is an ice hockey puck made from?

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Q. 16:  On the Voyager 1 spacecraft there is a golden record with greetings in different languages and a collection of various Earth sounds. There is also a 90 minute recording of music from many cultures. Which two composers appear the most on this record?

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Q. 17:  The name of which popular US band from the 1970s is an aboriginal expression used to describe an extremely cold evening?

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Q. 18:  Which four of the following seven Grand Slam winners were leftys? 

            a) Rod Laver

            b) Jimmy Connors

            c) Bjorn Borg

            d) John McEnroe

            e) Martina Navratilova

            f) Boris Becker

            g) Pancho Gonzales

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Q. 19:  What is the name for a Google search query consisting of exactly two words (actual words found in a dictionary) without quotation marks, that returns exactly one hit?

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Q. 20:  Which catchy hit song beginning with the words “Once upon a time there was a tavern” is an English version of a melancholic Russian gypsy song?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  Which epic Hollywood film was the most expensive movie made during the 1960s?

A.  1:  Cleopatra

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Q.  2:  Polynesia means ‘many islands’. What does Melanesia mean?

A.  2:  Black islands

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Q.  3:  Which Beatles song title is mentioned in Don McLean’s hit song ‘American Pie’?

A.  3:  Helter Skelter (“Helter Skelter in the summer swelter”)

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Q.  4:  Which female tennis player won a record 62 Grand Slam titles?

            a) Billie Jean King

            b) Steffi Graf

            c) Martina Navratilova

            d) Margaret Smith Court

A.  4:  d) Margaret Smith Court

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Q.  5:  What was unusual about the Roman Senator Incitatus?

A.  5:  Incitatus was a horse.

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Q.  6:  What two countries signed the so called ‘Pact of Steel’ on May 22, 1939?

A.  6:  Nazi Germany and Fascist Italy.

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Q.  7:  Who travels from Spain to the Netherlands by steamboat in late November?

A.  7:  Sinterklaas / Santa Claus / St. Nicholas

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Q.  8:  In what prison drama movie, based on a Steven King book, does Morgan Freeman play a starring role?

A.  8:  The Shawshank Redemption

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Q.  9:  The scientific name for which animal is ‘Ursus arctos horribilis’?

            a) Grizzly bear

            b) Great White shark

            c) Grey wolf

            d) Killer whale

A.  9:  a) Grizzly bear

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Q. 10:  What was the name of the German engineer who invented the first rotary engine?

A. 10:  Wankel (the Wankel Rotary engine)

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Q. 11:  Formerly called Tsaritsyn and then Stalingrad, what is it called today?

A. 11:  Volgograd

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Q. 12:  Lutz, Axel and Camel are terms associated with what sport?

A. 12:  Figure skating

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Q. 13:  What is the name for a treat with currants squashed between two thin, oblong biscuits/cookies?

A. 13:  Garibaldi

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Q. 14:  Name the French cartoon skunk that is madly in love with a reluctant cat?

A. 14:  Pepe le Pew

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Q. 15:  What is an ice hockey puck made from?

A. 15:  Rubber

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Q. 16:  On the Voyager 1 spacecraft there is a golden record with greetings in different languages and a collection of various Earth sounds. There is also a 90 minute recording of music from many cultures. Which two composers appear the most on this record?

A. 16:  Bach and Beethoven

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Q. 17:  The name of which popular US band from the 1970s is an aboriginal expression used to describe an extremely cold evening?

A. 17:  Three Dog Night.

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Q. 18:  Which four of the following seven Grand Slam winners were leftys? 

            a) Rod Laver

            b) Jimmy Connors

            c) Bjorn Borg

            d) John McEnroe

            e) Martina Navratilova

            f) Boris Becker

            g) Pancho Gonzales

A. 18:  a) Rod Laver

            b) Jimmy Connors

            d) John McEnroe

            e) Martina Navratilova

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Q. 19:  What is the name for a Google search query consisting of exactly two words (actual words found in a dictionary) without quotation marks, that returns exactly one hit?

A. 19:  A ‘Googlewhack’. Published googlewhacks are short-lived, since when published to a web site, the new number of hits will become at least two, one to the original hit found, and one to the publishing site.

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Q. 20:  Which catchy hit song beginning with the words “Once upon a time there was a tavern” is an English version of a melancholic Russian gypsy song?

A. 20:  Those Were The Days

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