Happy Thanksgiving 2014.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Today is the fourth Thursday of November and also the last Thursday in November so whether you think Lincoln was right or Roosevelt was right, it still Thanksgiving Day in the USA.

To everyone who participates, enjoy the family holiday, eat too much and drink too much.

Last year I did what turned out to be a very popular post called “I Had To Post A Few Turkey Puns Today, Of Course They Are Fowl” ( Click here if you would like to read it.) And this year I’ve done it again.

So here are some more really bad jokes.

Enjoy or endure.

.

.

Thanksgiving,

the time of year when turkeys

fatten Americans up for Christmas!

.

.

Why didn’t the Pilgrim want to make the stuffing?

Because it’s such a crummy job!

.

.

What happened when the turkey got into a fight?

He got the stuffing knocked out of him.

.

.

What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?

Plymouth Rock, of course!

.

.

What would you get if you crossed

a turkey with a baked fruit dessert?

A peach gobbler!

.

.

What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?

The turkey trot

.

.

What does a Turkey drink wine in?

In a gobble-let

.

.

What did baby corn say to mama corn?

Where’s popcorn?

.

.

Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?

To try to hatchet!

.

.

Teacher: “What did the Indians bring

to the first Thanksgiving?”

Student: “Baseballs.”

Teacher: “Baseballs?”

Student: “Yeah,

they were Cleveland Indians!”

.

.

Who is the turkey’s favorite movie star?

Gregory Peck.

.

.

If you divide the circumference

of a pumpkin by its diameter

Do you end up with

Pumpkin pi?

.

.

Can a turkey jump higher than

the Empire State Building?

Yes of course it can

– a building can’t jump at all.

.

.

Why did the pilgrim’s pants keep falling down?

Because his buckle was on his hat!

.

.

And finally,

instead of talking turkey,

let’s hear someone sing turkey instead.

Take it away Dickie Stickhead

(Phew, you have to be careful how you say that name!)

.

.

===========================================

.

Did You Know? – Another Random Fact Feast!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Random fact feast it is.

Another selection of hopefully interesting facts that you didn’t know you didn’t know.

Enjoy.

.

.

In Raiders of the Lost Ark there is a

wall carving of R2-D2 and C-3P0 behind the ark

.

. 

Chinese Checkers is not Chinese.

It was created in America to circumvent the

patent for a popular boardgame called Halma,

invented by a Boston surgeon named George Howard Monks.

.

. 

In the 17th century,

the value of pi was known to 35 decimal places.

Today, to 1.2411 trillion.

.

. 

Technically speaking, Alaska is the northernmost,

westernmost, and easternmost state of the United States.

Parts of the Aleutian Islands cross over the 180th meridian.

.

. 

The original story from “Tales of 1001 Arabian Nights” begins,

“Aladdin was a little Chinese boy.”

.

. 

There is a hotel in Sweden built entirely out of ice;

it is rebuilt every year.

.

. 

In 1959, the USSR launched a craft called the Mechta towards the Moon.

It missed, and instead became (inadvertently) the first

man-made satellite to go into orbit around the Sun.

.

. 

It has been calculated that in the last 3,500 years,

there have only been 230 years of peace throughout the civilized world.

.

. 

In the 1987 movie ‘Predator’, the character of the Predator

was originally set up for Jean-Claude Van Damme

to play a martial-arts fighting Predator.

However the producers realized much of the cast

were bodybuilders over 6 feet tall (and Van Damme was clearly smaller)

so they cast the enormous 7’ 21/2” Kevin Peter Hall

so that the Predator could realistically physically dominate

the film’s human characters.

Interestingly Hall also appears in the movie

as the helicopter pilot at the end.

.

. 

Gatorade’s inventor later created an alcoholic variation,

Hop ’n Gator

— essentially, lemon lime Gatorade mixed with beer.

.

. 

At the Great Gettysburg Reunion of 1913,

two men purchased a hatchet,

walked to the site where their regiments had fought,

and buried it.

.

. 

Though it’s rarely used,

the word referring to half a computer byte

is a “nibble.”

.

. 

Because of the angle at which its esophagus enters its stomach,

the horse is physically unable to vomit.

.

. 

The reason why hair turns gray as we age

is because the pigment cells in the hair follicle start to die,

which is responsible for producing “melanin”

which gives the hair colour

.

. 

Hydrogen gas is the least dense substance in the world,

at 0.08988g/cc

.

. 

The purpose of gasoline rationing during the Second World War

was not to conserve gas, but to conserve TIRES.

The primary source for natural rubber at the time was Southeast Asia,

much of which was under Japanese control.

.

. 

The concept of Boxing Day, which is on December 26th,

was to give boxes of food and clothing to the poor.

It is now viewed in some countries as a time

to get merchandise from stores at reduced prices

.

. 

Jewelers Tiffany & Co., based in New York, are responsible

for making the Super Bowl trophy

.

. 

The world’s most expensive cigarettes.

In 2009, Josh Muszynski used his Visa to buy cigarettes.

Due to a Visa “glitch,” he was charged over 23 quadrillion dollars.

To be exact: $23,148,855,308,184,500

. 

.

The popular hip-shaking dance, the merengue,

got its name from the whisking motion required to make meringue.

.

.

==================================

.

It’s July 4th, You Know What Day That Is?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Yes, you got it, it’s Pun Day.

And because Pun Day this year happens to fall on July 4th, here’s a special Independence word play edition.

Enjoy this festive edition!

.

.

What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?

The Americans licked the British!

.

.

Why did the British cross the Atlantic?

To get to the other tide!

.

.

What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly-haired dog?

A Yankee Poodle Dandy!

.

.

Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?

Yeah, it cracked me up!

The Liberty Bell

.

.

What would Americans get if they crossed George Washington with cattle feed?

The fodder of their Country!

.

.

Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?

At the chopping mall!

.

.

What was General Washington’s favorite tree?

The infantry!

.

.

What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?

Liber-Tea!

.

.

Which colonists told the most jokes?

Punsylvanians!

.

.

What did a patriot put on his dry skin?

Revo-lotion!

.

.

What dance was very popular in 1776?

Indepen-dance!

.

.

Which one of Washington’s officers had the best sense of humor?

Laughayette!

Marquis de La Fayette served as a major-general in the Continental Army under George Washington and was a leader of the Garde nationale during the French Revolution.

.

.

What was Thomas Jefferson’s favourite dessert?

Monti jello!

Thomas Jefferson’s Monticello Estate

.

.

What did King George think of the American colonists?

He thought they were revolting!

.

.

Why were the early American settlers like ants?

Because they lived in colonies.

Colonial America

.

.

What has feathers, webbed feet, and certain inalienable rights?

The Ducklaration of Independence!

.

.

What would you get if you crossed the American national bird with Snoopy?

A bald beagle!

.

.

What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?

The Battle of Bonkers Hill.

.

.

Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom!

.

.

Did you hear about the cartoonist in the Continental Army?

He was a Yankee doodler!

.

.

What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1773?

The Boston Flea Party!

.

.

What would you get if you crossed Washington’s home with nasty insects?

Mt. Vermin!

Washington’s Mount Vernon Estate

.

.

Which son of old Virginia wrote the Declaration of Independence?

I think it was Thomas Jeffer’s son.

Thomas Jefferson’s words and hopes. How far have the present leaders of America strayed from those lofty and laudable goals?

.

===================================

.

Cole’s Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

In case the title didn’t give it away, today is pun day!

Hurrah and enjoy!!

But first a quick medical alert….

.

.

Medical Alert:

When you play golf iron deficiencies

can lead to a risk of increased strokes.

.

.

I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from.

Then it dawned on me.

.

.

I was devastated when my girlfriend left me for a dwarf.

I never thought she would stoop so low

.

.

“I only have diamonds, clubs and spades,”

said Tom heartlessly

.

.

Ever wonder why the person who invented the door knocker

wasn’t awarded a No-bell prize.

.

.

I walked down a street where the houses were numbered

64K, 128K, 256K, 512K and 1MB.

That was a trip down memory lane.

.

.

If anyone ever says to you that they’ve lost their voice,

They’re lying.

.

.

Tires are fixed for a flat rate.

.

.

If you suffer from kleptomania,

should you take something for it?

.

.

I’ve taken up a part time course in counterfeiting.

I’m forging ahead.

.

.

I broke up with my girlfriend last night.

It happened on the forecourt of a gas station.

Very emotional breakup.

She was in tears and I was filling up….

.

.

The latest market research shows a growing trend

for eating high-fibre cereal for breakfast,

with the result that people are experiencing

greater regularity in their bowel movements.

With trends like that,

who needs enemas?

.

.

Did you hear about the bird that sat on an axe?

It was trying to hatchet

.

.

A boy came into the house with a sofa on his back.

His mother said,

“How many times have I told you not to accept suites from strangers!?”

.

.

I was watching a tv program about the people in Holland who make their traditional clogs?

I thought, I’d like to try that

Wooden shoe?

.

.

A fishing boat is working the North Sea, when suddenly it starts shipping water.

It puts out a Mayday message:

“Help! Help! We are sinking!”

A few minutes back the reply comes through:

“Zis is ze German coastguard. Vot are you sinking about?”

.

.

.

I’ve eaten steak tartar,

but only on rare occasions

.

.

un oeuf is enough as they say in France!

.

.

My laptop is broken.

It just keeps playing “Skyfall” over and over again.

Probably because it’s a Dell.

.

.

================================

.