Happy Thanksgiving 2014.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Today is the fourth Thursday of November and also the last Thursday in November so whether you think Lincoln was right or Roosevelt was right, it still Thanksgiving Day in the USA.

To everyone who participates, enjoy the family holiday, eat too much and drink too much.

Last year I did what turned out to be a very popular post called “I Had To Post A Few Turkey Puns Today, Of Course They Are Fowl” ( Click here if you would like to read it.) And this year I’ve done it again.

So here are some more really bad jokes.

Enjoy or endure.

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rofl

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Thanksgiving,

the time of year when turkeys

fatten Americans up for Christmas!

funny-happy-thanksgiving-turkey-poster

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Why didn’t the Pilgrim want to make the stuffing?

Because it’s such a crummy job!

turkey-thanksgiving-jokes

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What happened when the turkey got into a fight?

He got the stuffing knocked out of him.

funny-turkey

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What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?

Plymouth Rock, of course!

Plymouth Rock

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What would you get if you crossed

a turkey with a baked fruit dessert?

A peach gobbler!

funny turkey photo

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What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?

The turkey trot

turkey trot

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What does a Turkey drink wine in?

In a gobble-let

Turkey drink wine

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What did baby corn say to mama corn?

Where’s popcorn?

turkey eating popcorn cartoon

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Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?

To try to hatchet!

tomahawk

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Teacher: “What did the Indians bring

to the first Thanksgiving?”

Student: “Baseballs.”

Teacher: “Baseballs?”

Student: “Yeah,

they were Cleveland Indians!”

Logo_Cleveland Indians

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Who is the turkey’s favorite movie star?

Gregory Peck.

thanksgiving_bush

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If you divide the circumference

of a pumpkin by its diameter

Do you end up with

Pumpkin pi?

pumpkin pie pi

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Can a turkey jump higher than

the Empire State Building?

Yes of course it can

– a building can’t jump at all.

unfriends-me-on-facebook

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Why did the pilgrim’s pants keep falling down?

Because his buckle was on his hat!

pilgrim

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And finally,

instead of talking turkey,

let’s hear someone sing turkey instead.

Take it away Dickie Stickhead

(Phew, you have to be careful how you say that name!)

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Failure Is The Path Of Least Persistence.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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If failure is path of least persistence, you can’t accuse me of failing to stick up for puns.

This series has already been going a lot longer than I ever imagined.

Will it ever end?

Eventually I suppose.

But not this week.

So enjoy or endure some more!

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rofl

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It’s your attitude and not your aptitude

that determines your altitude.

attitude and not your aptitude

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Last night I had a dream that a silicon chip and

a hard drive conditionally offered to bring my dinner over.

If memory serves me.

silicon chip

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It’s been decided that there will be a

new gay wing of the Government.

They’re starting with the Homo Office.

gay cartoon

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Who is the worst chicken killer in Shakespeare?

Macbeth. He did murder most foul.

Macbeth

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L’Oreal camouflage paint.

Because you’re war fit.

L'Oreal because you're worth it

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My wife gave me a leaflet about

anger management last week…

I lost it.

anger management leaflet

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People hang on my every word.

Probably why I lost my job at the Samaritans.

Samaritans_logo

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Two old ladies knocked on my door,

selling the bible and brown bread,

they were the Hovis witnesses!

Hovis witnesses

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I’ve got an idea for a new interactive reality TV show.

It’s called ‘Bone Idol’.

I can’t be bothered to send it in though.

Bone Idol

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At the recent winter Olympics, as the rest of the

bobsleigh team prepared for their first run,

the brake man suddenly fell to the floor clutching his leg.

“Go on without me,” he cried.

“I’ll only slow you down.”

Bobsleigh

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Drilling for oil is boring.

canada_oildrilling

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I used to run a dating agency for chickens.

But I was struggling to make hens meet.

chickenspeed

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Did you hear about the Frenchman

who could only count to seven?

He had a huit allergy.

cartoon frenchman

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Cool, although I just barley got it…a little corny….

I can’t help it, they just keep cropping up….

me_so_corny_corn_cob_sticker

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A bulb walks into an airport without any bags

wearing nothing but a shirt, sandals, and a hat.

The check in girl looks at him and says,

“Travelling light?”

The bulb says “Yes, I am.”

light bulb

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