Today is the fourth Thursday of November and also the last Thursday in November so whether you think Lincoln was right or Roosevelt was right, it still Thanksgiving Day in the USA.
To everyone who participates, enjoy the family holiday, eat too much and drink too much.
Last year I did what turned out to be a very popular post called “I Had To Post A Few Turkey Puns Today, Of Course They Are Fowl” ( Click here if you would like to read it.) And this year I’ve done it again.
So here are some more really bad jokes.
Enjoy or endure.
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Thanksgiving,
the time of year when turkeys
fatten Americans up for Christmas!
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Why didn’t the Pilgrim want to make the stuffing?
Because it’s such a crummy job!
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What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him.
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What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
Plymouth Rock, of course!
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What would you get if you crossed
a turkey with a baked fruit dessert?
A peach gobbler!
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What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?
The turkey trot
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What does a Turkey drink wine in?
In a gobble-let
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What did baby corn say to mama corn?
Where’s popcorn?
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Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?
To try to hatchet!
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Teacher: “What did the Indians bring
to the first Thanksgiving?”
Student: “Baseballs.”
Teacher: “Baseballs?”
Student: “Yeah,
they were Cleveland Indians!”
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Who is the turkey’s favorite movie star?
Gregory Peck.
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If you divide the circumference
of a pumpkin by its diameter
Do you end up with
Pumpkin pi?
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Can a turkey jump higher than
the Empire State Building?
Yes of course it can
– a building can’t jump at all.
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Why did the pilgrim’s pants keep falling down?
Because his buckle was on his hat!
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And finally,
instead of talking turkey,
let’s hear someone sing turkey instead.
Take it away Dickie Stickhead
(Phew, you have to be careful how you say that name!)
Another twenty brain teasing questions to stimulate those old grey cells.
As usual the answers can be found waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!
Enjoy and good luck.
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Q. 1: Where would you go to look at the Abominable Snowman?
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Q. 2: Who was Jacqueline Lee Bouvier’s second husband?
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Q. 3: Where were Gregory Peck, Ava Gardner, Fred Astaire and Antony Perkins in the 1959 post apocalyptic movie that they starred in?
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Q. 4: What famous magician shares his name with an equally famous Dickens’ character?
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Q. 5: In which country is Togariro National park with its three volcanoes, including Mt. Ruapahu?
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Q. 6: Very few non Russians appeared on postage stamps in the USSR between 1922 and 1991, but two Americans did. Can you name them? (A point for each.)
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Q. 7: This famous actor starred in a movie being himself, who is he?
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Q. 8: Who was ‘The Once and Future King’?
a) Elvis b) Arthur c) Idi Amin d) Aragorn
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Q. 9: What was the name of the first director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation and who is it’s current chief? (A point for each correct answer.)
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Q. 10: What is the name of the river that rises on the Tibetan Plateau of western China and has flooded more often and killed more people than any other?
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Q. 11: Why were there no registered births or deaths in England on September 3rd 1752?
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Q. 12: The name of which form of literature stems from a Greek word meaning ‘making’?
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Q. 13: Which actor won his only Oscar for his role in the western ‘True Grit’?
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Q. 14: The old name for which island country stems from the Latin word for beautiful?
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Q. 15: What is the real name of The Shark Tank’s ‘Mr Wonderful’?
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Q. 16: What is the capital of Equador?
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Q. 17: Vincent van Gogh is not only a very famous artist with his works now commanding millions of dollars, but he is also well known for an incident in which he cut off an ear. Which one? (Go on, you have a 50:50 chance on this one!)
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Q. 18: What aliases did Hannibal Hayes and Kid Curry use in the long running television series?
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Q. 19: Who was hailed as the founder of the Mongol Empire?
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Q. 20: What was Elvis Presley’s first number one hit single in the USA?
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ANSWERS
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Q. 1: Where would you go to look at the Abominable Snowman?
A. 1: The Himalayas.
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Q. 2: Who was Jacqueline Lee Bouvier’s second husband?
A. 2: Greek shipping magnate, Aristotle Onassis.
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Q. 3: Where were Gregory Peck, Ava Gardner, Fred Astaire and Antony Perkins in the 1959 post apocalyptic movie that they starred in?
A. 3: On The Beach.
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Q. 4: What famous magician shares his name with an equally famous Dickens’ character?
A. 4: David Copperfield.
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Q. 5: In which country is Togariro National park with its three volcanoes, including Mt. Ruapahu?
A. 5: New Zealand.
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Q. 6: Very few non Russians appeared on postage stamps in the USSR between 1922 and 1991, but two Americans did. Can you name them? (A point for each.)
A. 6: They were Benjamin Franklin and Mark Twain.
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Q. 7: This famous actor starred in a movie being himself, who is he?
A. 7: He is John Malkovich, who starred in the movie ‘Being John Malkovich’.
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Q. 8: Who was ‘The Once and Future King’?
a) Elvis b) Arthur c) Idi Amin d) Aragorn
A. 8: b) Arthur.
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Q. 9: What was the name of the first director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation and who is it’s current chief? (A point for each correct answer.)
A. 9: J Edgar Hoover was the first, the current director is James Comey.
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Q. 10: What is the name of the river that rises on the Tibetan Plateau of western China and has flooded more often and killed more people than any other?
A. 10: The Yellow River.
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Q. 11: Why were there no registered births or deaths in England on September 3rd 1752?
A. 11: There was no September 3rd 1752. The British government adopted the Gregorian calendar. It was decreed that the day following September 2nd 1752 should be called September 14.
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Q. 12: The name of which form of literature stems from a Greek word meaning ‘making’?
A. 12: Poetry.
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Q. 13: Which actor won his only Oscar for his role in the western ‘True Grit’?
A. 13: John Wayne.
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Q. 14: The old name for which island country stems from the Latin word for beautiful?
A. 14: Formosa (the modern name is Taiwan.)
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Q. 15: What is the real name of The Shark Tank’s ‘Mr Wonderful’?
A. 15: Kevin O’Leary.
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Q. 16: What is the capital of Equador?
A. 16: Quito.
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Q. 17: Vincent van Gogh is not only a very famous artist with his works now commanding millions of dollars, but he is also well known for an incident in which he cut off an ear. Which one? (Go on, you have a 50:50 chance on this one!)
A. 17: It was his left ear.
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Q. 18: What aliases did Hannibal Hayes and Kid Curry use in the long running television series?
A. 18: They were ‘Alias Smith And Jones’.
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Q. 19: Who was hailed as the founder of the Mongol Empire?
A. 19: Genghis Khan.
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Q. 20: What was Elvis Presley’s first number one hit single in the USA?
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