Do You Really Want A Liar In The White House?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Hillary Clinton liar

I ended a post last week that ended with the line, “If you want a liar in the White House there’s always Hillary.”

Some people may have thought it a little harsh, particularly those who were considering voting for her, but harsh or not it is a fact.

Her wayward husband Bill was a liar and he made President and impeachment. Now she is trying to carry on the tradition.

Hillary simply cannot tell the truth.

Everyone knows it.

And everyone includes the representatives from other countries that she would have to interact with, if – God help us – the American people are stupid enough to make her President.

Unfortunately, such is the attention span of people nowadays they only seem to remember the last thing they see and hear. If something happened in the past it is as if it never occurred at all.

2016 US Presidential race

With a position as important as the US Presidency at stake it is surely necessary to examine the candidates more closely than that.

Hillary Clinton’s lies are many and they cover almost every aspect of her life. She is an opportunist, always willing to try to enhance her position by lying. Nothing is sacred.

And it isn’t a recent occurrence. Hillary Rodham Clinton has been a liar for her entire political life, probably longer than that.

Take a look for yourselves.

hillary clinton 09

Going waaaaay back to 1974, when Hillary Clinton was 27, she worked for the House Judiciary Committee which at that time was investigating Richard Nixon and Watergate.

Strictly against House rules, she met with Teddy Kennedy’s chief political strategist and then manipulated the system, wrote a “fraudulent legal brief” and “confiscated public documents”.

They had no choice but fire Hillary Rodham. When asked why she was fired, Jerry Zeifman, Chairman of the House Judiciary Committee during the Watergate investigation, said in an interview, “Because she was a liar. She was an unethical, dishonest lawyer, she conspired to violate the Constitution, the Rules of the House, the Rules of the Committee, and the rules of confidentiality.”

Zeifman later wrote in a 2006 book titled ‘Hillary’s Pursuit of Power’, that “Hillary Clinton is ethically unfit to be either a senator or president.”

Hillary Clinton fired from Congressional job for unethical behaviorpng

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When she made it to the White House as First Lady, she was still a stranger to the truth. Trying to distance herself from another gaff, Hillary said she didn’t know that her staff would fire the travel office staff after she told them to do so.

Hillary lied.

Staff do what you tell them to do. That’s why they work for you and not you for them. The memorandum relating to the firings went  “missing” for two years.

Hillary you're fired

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The “missing” lie was a trait that was to continue. Documents regarding Hillary’s work at the Rose Law firm in Arkansas, specifically regarding a savings and loan company run by the Clintons’ business partner in the Whitewater land venture also went “missing” for two years.

Eventually they miraculously reappeared when a White House aide found them, in the White House, in a storage area on the third-floor, which is the private residence of the President and First Lady.

Hillary said that she had no idea the documents were there, which would have been fine except for the fact that the FBI found Hillary’s fingerprints on the documents. Hillary is still the only First Lady in American history to be fingerprinted by the FBI.

fingerprint

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Lying to take advantage of national tragedies is also a depth to which Hillary Clinton will gladly stoop.

For example, when everyone else was in shock and sympathizing with the victims of the 9/11 terrorist attack tragedy, Hillary tried to take some of the attention for herself. She said her daughter Chelsea was jogging around the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001 at the time of the airplanes flew into the twin towers.

Hillary lied.

Chelsea was in bed watching it on TV.

9-11 attacks wtc

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To try to aggrandize herself on another occasion, Hillary said she was named after Sir Edmund Hillary, conqueror of Mount Everest.

Hillary lied.

Sir Edmund Hillary climbed Mt. Everest five years AFTER Hillary Rodham was born. Nobody knew who he was and therefore wouldn’t have named their children after him.

Sir Edmund Hillary, conqueror of Mount Everest - the Aukland Star

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When she was on a visit to Bosnia, Hillary said she came under sniper fire as she disembarked at the airport.

Hillary lied.

Video taken at the time shows a girl presented her with flowers and she and Chelsea can be seen on video walking across the Bosnian tarmac smiling and greeting well-wishers. Not a sniper’s bullet in sight. Here’s a nice video report to prove it.

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As regards finances, Hillary said she learned in The Wall Street Journal how to make a killing in the futures market.

Hillary lied.

The Wall Street Journal didn’t even cover the market back then.

stock_market board

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Hillary said she didn’t know about the pardons given to members of the violent Puerto Rico nationalist group FALN or that her brothers were being paid to get pardons that her husband Bill Clinton granted.

Hillary lied.

Her husband and her brothers knew and she didn’t? A likely story! With an ill-advised stroke of a pen President Clinton made a mockery of the pledge to “wage an all-out war against terrorism” by pardoning 14 FALN terrorists.

FALN terrorists logo

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Still on the subject of pardons, Hillary also said she had nothing to do with the New Square Hasidic pardons that reduced the prison terms of four New York Hasidic Jews convicted of defrauding tens of millions of dollars from the government.

Hillary lied.

In fact, of all the pardons that President Clinton granted as he was leaving the White House, this one has Hillary written all over it. She attended a meeting at the White House about the pardons and got repaid in votes, 1,400 to 12.

New Square Hasidic pardons

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To try to excuse her greed, Hillary said taking the White House gifts was a “clerical error”.

Hillary lied.

The “error”, clerical or otherwise, was getting caught and she came up with the best excuse she could think of at the time.

hillary-clinton-winking-AP-640x480

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To try to make herself look more statesmanlike Hillary said she negotiated for the release of refugees in Macedonia.

Hillary lied.

They were released the day before she even got there.

refugees_macedonia

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In a pathetic attempt to get sympathy where none was deserved, Hillary said her family was broke when they left the White House.

Hillary lied.

And they only made a paltry $12 million the year after Bill Clinton’s Presidency.

hillbillary clinton

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Never noted for her humility, Hillary said she was “instrumental” in the Northern Ireland peace process.

Hillary lied.

She and President Bill visited Northern Ireland and did some PR work for the deal that ushered terrorists into government in Belfast, but those actually at the negotiating table say Hillary was nowhere to be seen.

ni peace talks

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Hillary said the terrorist attack in Benghazi, Libya, that killed a U.S. ambassador and three other officials was a “spontaneous protest” gone wrong.

Hillary lied.

Based on State Department documents we know that, not only was Benghazi a terrorist attack, but that Hillary was well aware of that fact and deliberately misled the public.

American-victims-of-Benghazi-terror-attack-9-11-2012

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Then there is the private email server she set up the day before her nomination as Secretary of State, and used for her entire tenure in that office. Hillary said the whole thing was innocent and that access would be given to scrutinize her emails.

Hillary lied.

The whole procedure was far from innocent. For one thing it is in direct violation of a 2009 Federal Law.  Hillary set up her private email server and used it when she was Secretary of State so that there would be no official government records of those emails. She could pick and choose what to release and what to delete. Her aides also used private email addresses. Actualy both the Clintons loved email for that very reason, because it was so much easier to hide stuff, when she was asked to turn over 1.8 million emails to Judicial Watch, Congress, and federal investigators.

hillary clinton email scandal cartoon

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What do you call someone with a record like that except a liar?

How are we supposed to believe that all of a sudden she has had a “road to the White House” conversion and become honest and straightforward, rather than a schemer and a liar?

I’m reminded of that old joke,

Question: “How can you tell when a politician is lying?”

Answer: “When his/her lips are moving.”

It needs to be updated for Hillary.

She can lie even when her lips aren’t moving, or get emails or other people to do it for her.

So do you want a liar in the White House?

Do you???

hillary clinton 3 dollar bill

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Ivory hunters, tsk tsk.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Tsk, tsk indeed. What a terrible thing to do.

But what is also terrible, and the more terrible the better it seems, are puns.

It’s word play day.

Enjoy or endure!!!

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rofl

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When it comes to making money,

I’ve got to hand it to my wife.

All of it.

cartoon handing money to wife

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Apprehended:

The new App that reminds

you your hen is dead.

Apprehended

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I had an argument with my neighbor

about my trees growing over his fence.

When I extended the olive branch

it only made matters worse.

trees growing over fence

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I went into a bar and said to the guy serving,

‘How much is a pint of lager?’

He replied,

‘Five hundred and sixty-eight millilitres.’

pint v milliliters

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My identical twin was hit by a bus last year.

He’s not been the same since.

twins

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I got lost on my first day of college,

which is when I met my wife.

She was lost too, and neither I nor she knew

what class we were supposed to be in.

And as I stared into her eyes,

I knew that we had chemistry.

chemistry

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I brewed 5 gallons of homebrew.

It was pretty weak so my friend offered me ten bucks 

if I could drink the lot in one session…

I was going to accept, but in the end I bottled it.

homebrew_equipment

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I live for my alarm clock collection,

it’s the only reason I get up in the morning.

alarm clock collection

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I just fired my limousine driver.

I don’t know why,

because I have nothing to chauffeur it.

limousine driver

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Just had lunch at an excellent Christian restaurant

called “The Lord Giveth”.

They also do takeaways.

takeaways

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My wife was preparing lunch today when she asked,

“Sweetheart, where’s the cheese grater?”

“Some would say France, others would say England,” I replied.

cheese

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I bought some really odd shaped eggs

but now i can’t find them.

I think they’ve been mislaid.

odd shaped eggs

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Me and my girl plan to recreate every position

from the Kama Sutra tonight using only Lego bricks.

The excitement is building.

Kama Sutra Lego bricks

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I asked my son what his sexuality was.

He replied ”bi”.

Ironically, his answer forced me

to say the exact same thing.

bye

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Eminem goes to check the weather

It’s rainy and gray outside

He goes back to watch TV

Checks weather back in 10 minutes

Still shady

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Being Calm Is Not Something I Rate.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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But of course something I do rate are puns.

Here’s some more.

Enjoy or endure!!!

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rofl

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Polce Toay Announce They Are

Nvestgatng A Strng Of ID Thefts.

ID Thefts

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I hate washing up liquid.

Washing up solids is much simpler.

washing up liquid

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My girlfriend is leaving me because I’ve got alopecia.

oh well it’s hair loss.

alopecia

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Cryptographers make terrible drummers.

They just sit there, fascinated by all the cymbals.

drummer

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My new job as a taxidermist is pretty boring.

All I do is sit around and stuff.

taxidermist

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My son is cold and calculating

I’ve turned the heating off whilst

he does his maths homework.

homework

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Got an insurance quote today for my car.

They offered me a fire-and-theft policy.

I thought, “Who’d nick a car that was on fire?”

"Why's your fire-and-theft policy so cheap?"

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“When might we take the kids to Disneyland?”

the wife asked me a few weeks ago.

I thought about it, and replied, “May.”

It’s been a blast watching her pack,

and the kids getting excited.

All I did was correct her grammar.

Disneyland

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A man walked over to a kid playing with a

huge lizard and asked if he could see it.

After fiddling around with it for a few moments,

he asked what its name was.

The kid replied with, “Tiny.”

“How on Earth did you ever get a name like that

for such a huge creature?” the man asked in awe.

The kid replied with, “Because he’s my newt!”

newt

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My wife is a mute.

She communicates by embroidery.

It’s her own version of sign language,

sew to speak.

embroidery

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I can’t believe they fired me from the clock factory

after all the extra hours I put in.

clock factory

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I heard vandals have broken into

an origami exhibition

and ruined all the exhibits.

Police are trying to work out

how it all unfolded.

origami

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My gym instructor pointed at fifteen heavy dumbbells

and told me I had to lift them all

over the next quarter of an hour.

Weight a minute…

fifteen heavy dumbbells

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What do you call seafood in a cement mixer?

Hardcore prawn.

cement mixer

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News just in:

Stevie Nicks has announced her

engagement to William Shatner.

When they get married she will

be known as Stevie Shatner Nicks.

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Whoever Invented The Selfie Needs To Take A Good Look At Themselves.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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And since it’s pun day again you need to take a good look at this latest batch.

Enjoy or endure!!!

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rofl

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What do you call

a German on speaker phone?

Hans Free

cartoon hands free

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‘Sugar’

is the only word in the English language

in which the S, is pronounced ‘sh’.

I’m sure of that.

sh

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My brother has had to

close down his archery business.

In the first 12 months 

he didn’t hit any of his targets .

archery-target

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Ten years in the same job and

not once have I been in the boss’s office.

That’s what got me fired as a cleaner.

cleaner

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Just been mugged and beaten up.

I tried to defend myself with a drawing pin.

Turns out a tac isn’t the best form of defense after all.

tac

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Before we split up, my wife

was obsessed with horoscopes.

I’m sure that’s what Taurus apart.

taurus

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I was on the freeway when a guy driving in the other direction

started flashing his lights, beeping his horn and screaming,

“You’re going the wrong way!”

What an idiot.

He didn’t even know where I was going.

A-Motorist-Driving-the-Wrong-Way

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What has a pee at

the end of a tram?

A tramp.

cartoon tramp

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Breaking News:

Man arrested over missing woman

Imagine if he’d hit her???

breaking news

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Adoption jokes –

There’s never a good time to tell them.

adopted

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I don’t approve of my girlfriend’s one night stand.

Why should she be the only one with

somewhere to put a bedside lamp.

night stand lamp

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I threw three DVDs at exactly the same time

to see which one would hit the wall first.

It was a discrace.

DVDs

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My wife called me into the bathroom

and asked me to wash her back.

I don’t remember her

washing me in the first place.

washing back

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Erectile dysfunction;

just when you thought

it couldn’t get any harder.

checking_for_signs_of_life

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My wife, Lorraine, has just found out that 

I have been cheating on her with Clara next door.

Last night, she packed her things and left.

I can see Clara now, Lorraine has gone.

Take it away Johnny….

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It’s Hard To Explain How Good I Am At Describing Things!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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But I can still describe today 

–  it’s Pun Day!

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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If you think you dream in color,

is it just a pigment of your imagination?

dreaming in color

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My boss fired me for complaining about the office escalator,

It didn’t go down well.

office escalator

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First guy: “What would you do if your son told you he was gay?”

Second guy: “I’d buy him a straight jacket.”

straight jacket

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Paddy goes for a job interview at a chemical factory.

The manager asks, “Have you worked with chemicals before?”

Paddy replies, “Yes.”

The manager then asks, “Can you tell me what nitrate is?”

Paddy replies, “Yes, it’s time and a half.”

job interview cartoon

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I was on holiday in the Alps

when I saw a sign saying ‘Ski Hire’.

So I went a bit further up the slope.

ski hire

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I’ve just bought a shire horse.

As if my other horse wasn’t shy enough.

shire horse

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I keep having recurring nightmares where

I’m in a hospital surrounded by loads of pregnant women.

Could I be going through a midwife crisis?

cartoon hospital

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I’ve just got a job testing hover boards.

The money’s not great,

but it keeps me off the streets.

hover boards

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Pirate cheerleaders have it easy.

“Give me an R!”…

Pirate cheerleaders

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A guy came up to me the other day and said,

“I’m a 3-5 stringed instrument of the harp family,

popular among nobles in medieval Europe.”

I said, “You’re a lyre!”

 

lyre

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It will be Google’s birthday soon.

They’re planning a search party.

Google’s birthday

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I went for a depression test.

Came back negative.

Oh, NO!

depression test

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I rang SeaWorld the other day,

because I wanted some information.

Before I got through to an employee,

I got a tape telling me

“This call may be recorded for training porpoises.”

training porpoises

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If someone asks you to

spell “Part A” backwards,

don’t do it.

It’s a trap……

a trap

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Steppenwolf was an assumed name.

He was born Toby Wild.

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Have You Ever Googled Yourself?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Have you ever Googled yourself to see if there is anything on the internet about you, or even if there are any other people with the same name as you?

I bet you have. I think everyone does at some stage. Some people call it ‘ego-surfing’.

I actually hadn’t, but I did just now. Apparently there’s a British Member of Parliament and a Realtor in Kentucky using my name. I’ll have to put a stop to that!

But getting back to today’s post. There’s nothing wrong with Googling yourself, unless of course you are a moron, in which case the consequences can be both unseen (for you) and quite traumatic.

That’s what happened to a guy called Christopher Viatafa.

He’s a moron.

And a criminal.

In fact Christopher was being sought in connection with a shooting during a private party at the San Leandro Senior Center in California. Police said he got into an argument, pulled out a handgun and fired several rounds into the ground.

He was forced out of the area, but not before he fired more rounds. No one was hit, but police investigators were looking for him for allegedly discharging a firearm toward an inhabited dwelling.

That was okay, as far as he was concerned.

But then the astute Christopher Googled his name, found a picture of himself on a “Most Wanted” website….

and….

wait for it….

you know what’s coming….

promptly surrendered to San Leandro police in connection with a shooting.

Viatafa told police he had looked himself up online and found his mug on the “Northern California Most Wanted” website, maintained by the Northern California Regional Intelligence Center, a group of local, state and federal law enforcement agencies.

“That is why he turned himself in,” police said.

By the following Friday, Viatafa was listed on the website as a “captured fugitive”.

The website didn’t say that he had captured himself.

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dumb criminal Christopher Viatafa

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It’s The Day You All Look Forward To – Pun Day!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Well, maybe not ‘all’ of you. But some people like them.

Here are a few more.

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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I just learned the other day that a violin

is comprised of seventy separate pieces of wood.

It must be a fiddly job putting it all together!

violin maker

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I named my car flattery.

It gets me nowhere.

broken down car

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I got depressed when I lost my job at the Apple factory.

“Have you been taking any tablets?” asked the doctor.

“Yeah. Why do you think I got fired?”

Apple itablet

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I’ve started a band called ‘Nostalgia’.

If we don’t make it, at least people will remember us fondly.

Obracken-NostalgiaGoodTimesGoodTimes569

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My wife planted some seeds in the garden a while back

and just recently they’ve pushed through the soil.

She said to me today, “What do you think they are?”

“I don’t know,” I replied.  

“But they’ve definitely grown hyacinth we last looked at them.”

hyacinth

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I hopped on a bus today.

After five minutes, the driver told me to sit down.

Hopping-off-the-Bus

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Just had to close my new restaurant down.

It was called “Mexican Tortilla”.

I just kept getting calls from language students…

Mexican Tortilla

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As I sat cleaning my rifle, my wife nagged,

“I think you love that gun more than me.”

“Are you even listening to me?” she asked.

“Yes, deer,” I replied.

man-cleaning-inside-the-barrel-of-his-unloaded-rifle-gun-clipart-by-dennis-cox-at-wackystock

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I’ll never forget my first love.

She took me outside and showed me the garden.

She then showed me the hole, at the bottom of her garden.

Full of water.

“Throw in a coin and make a wish.” She said.

So I did.

I remember her well.

wishing well

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I started a business selling life support machines

but I’m on the verge of going bust.

Ironically, I’ve got to pull the plug.

life support machines

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A psychic told me how to get more friends on Facebook,

and it worked!

What a great social medium.

Cartoon-Fortune-Teller

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I tried to do a computer course

but I couldn’t hack it

computer course

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Just got back from the ‘Free Pussy Riot’ march.

Not what I was expecting,

apparently they’re some Russian band.

'Free Pussy Riot'

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Contrary to popular belief Owls are not wise,

they’re stupid and illiterate.

It’s “Tu Whit Tu WHOM!”

cartoon-owl

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“It’s nice to be served by somebody English for a change,”

I said to the waitress in a café.

“These days most of you are foreign and don’t understand a word I say. For instance…”

“For instance, what?” said the waitress, after a long pause.

“Four instant coffees, please.”

cartoon-of-aggressive-waitress

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