Tin Foil, Mince Pies And Kilts? It’s The Quiz!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to another fasab quiz.

Last one for this month. And the usual random mixture to test your general knowledge.

Also as usual if you get stuck you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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quiz7

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Q.  1:  What is kitchen tin foil made from?

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Q.  2:  With what would you ‘rock the baby’ or ‘walk the dog’?

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Q.  3:  What is the main ingredient of a mince pie?

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Q.  4:  Where was the Titanic built?

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Q.  5:  How many best director Oscars did Alfred Hitchcock win?

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Q.  6:  What is feldspar?

            a)  a flower            b)  a type of coral            c)  a mineral

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Q.  7:  What mineral is an ‘Alaskan diamond’?

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Q.  8:  Which country owns the island of Bermuda?

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Q.  9:  How many equal angles has a ‘scalene triangle’?

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Q. 10:  What is an ‘ocular contusion’ more commonly known as?

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Q. 11:  What color is the black box on a plane?

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Q. 12:  What property of a body is calculated by multiplying its mass by its velocity?

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Q. 13:  What nation invented the kilt?

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Q. 14:  Meaning before noon, what does the acronym ‘AM’ stand for?

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Q. 15:  ‘Pb’ is the chemical symbol for which element?

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Q. 16:  What was John Lennon’s middle name?

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Q. 17:  The term ‘Lupine’ relates to which animals?

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Q. 18:  What is the difference between an ‘albatross’ and an ‘albacore’?

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Q. 19:  Which part of a man’s body enlarges by up to 8 times when he sees an attractive female?

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Q. 20:  This one is the name of a band of the late 1960s and 1970s and of the English farmer who invented the seed-planting drill in 1701?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  What is kitchen tin foil made from?

A.  1:  Aluminium (US-English: Aluminum).

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Q.  2:  With what would you ‘rock the baby’ or ‘walk the dog’?

A.  2:  A Yoyo.

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Q.  3:  What is the main ingredient of a mince pie?

A.  3:  Fruit.

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Q.  4:  Where was the Titanic built?

A.  4:  Belfast, Ireland.

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Q.  5:  How many best director Oscars did Alfred Hitchcock win?

A.  5:  Remarkably the correct answer is ‘None’.

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Q.  6:  What is feldspar?

            a)  a flower            b)  a type of coral            c)  a mineral

A.  6:  The correct answers is c) a mineral.

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Q.  7:  What mineral is an ‘Alaskan diamond’?

A.  7:  Quartz.

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Q.  8:  Which country owns the island of Bermuda?

A.  8:  Great Britain.

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Q.  9:  How many equal angles has a ‘scalene triangle’?

A.  9:  None. A scalene triangle has 3 unequal sides and angles.

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Q. 10:  What is an ‘ocular contusion’ more commonly known as?

A. 10:  A black eye.

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Q. 11:  What color is the black box on a plane?

A. 11:  The ‘Black’ box is in fact ‘Orange’.

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Q. 12:  What property of a body is calculated by multiplying its mass by its velocity?

A. 12:  Momentum.

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Q. 13:  What nation invented the kilt?

A. 13:  No, not Scotland, the kilt was invented in Ireland.

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Q. 14:  Meaning before noon, what does the acronym ‘AM’ stand for?

A. 14:  Ante meridian.

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Q. 15:  ‘Pb’ is the chemical symbol for which element?

A. 15:  Lead.

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Q. 16:  What was John Lennon’s middle name?

A. 16:  Winston.

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Q. 17:  The term ‘Lupine’ relates to which animals?

A. 17:  Wolves.

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Q. 18:  What is the difference between an ‘albatross’ and an ‘albacore’?

A. 18:  An albatross is a bird and an albacore is a fish.

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Q. 19:  Which part of a man’s body enlarges by up to 8 times when he sees an attractive female?

A. 19:  The pupil of his eye (Oh, come on, you should be so lucky!).

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Q. 20:  This one is the name of a band of the late 1960s and 1970s and of the English farmer who invented the seed-planting drill in 1701?

A. 20:  Jethro Tull.

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Pun Day!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yet another selection of those jokes you love to hate.

I wouldn’t guarantee the politically correctness of some of them, but enjoy them if you can!

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How do Welsh people cross the road?

Caerphilly!

Caerphilly

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Are dwarfs the lowest form of human life?

cartoon dwarf

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What are the rules of gay poker?

Queens are wild and straights don’t count.

cards_bicycle_poker_decK

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I had a mate who was suicidal.

He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train.

He was chuffed to bits.

cartoon_train

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A little old lady takes her dead cats to a taxidermist to be stuffed.

“Would you like them mounted?” asked the taxidermist.

“Oooo no….” says the lady, “just snuggled up next to each other.”

stuffed cats

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A woman in the pharmacy sees a deal offering 5 boxes of tampons for a dollar.

She can’t believe how good the deal is and asks the manager, “Is that price correct?”

“Sure is,” says the manager, “It’s a special offer, 5 boxes for a dollar and there are no strings attached!”

tampon choc

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Did you hear about the gay carpenter?

He always left a saw behind!

carpenter_cartoon

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A psychotic rapist escaped recently from a mental institution for the criminally insane. He ran across the street to the laundromat hoping to find a change of clothes. Inside, he discovered two women, and forced them to have sex. Then he fled out the back door.

The next day the local newspaper headline read, “NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS!”

cartoon crazy dude

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Irish bloke walks into a pub and says, “Drink of orange please landlord.”

The landlord asks, “Still orange?”

Irish fella replies, “Yes, I haven’t changed my mind.”

irishman bar

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Two blondes walk into a building…

Wow, you’d think at least one of them would have seen it.

Two_Blondes_by_sincity2

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What do you call a bloke with a one inch penis?

Justin.

small-penis

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After announcing he’s getting married, a Scotsman tells his pal he’ll be wearing a kilt.

‘And what’s the tartan?’ asks the mate.

‘Oh, she’ll be wearing a white dress.’ he replies.

cartoon-scotsman-with-a-kilt

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Two parrots on a perch.

One turns to the other and says, “Can you smell fish?”

two-parrots

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What qualifications do you need to be a road sweeper?

None.

You just pick it up as you go along!

road_sweeper

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Good King Wenseslas called his local pizza parlour.

“Would you like your usual, sir?”

“Oh yes,” he replied. “Deep pan: crisp and even.”

good-king-wenceslas-omar-rayyan

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A customer is ordering food in an Indian restaurant.

“Waiter, what’s this Chicken Tarka?”

The waiter replies, “it’s the same as Chicken Tikka, but it’s a little ‘Otter.”

cartoon-otter

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