A very happy Thanksgiving to all in America who read this.
I hope everyone everywhere, not just in America, is getting into the spirit of the day and giving thanks for the many good things in their lives.
But Thanksgiving or not, it’s still pun day. A little different today in that there is a mixture of pictorial puns with a distinct nautical theme and, of course, puns with a Thanksgiving theme too.
Enjoy!
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What does a turkey like to eat on Thanksgiving?
Nothing; they are already stuffed.
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Why did the turkey cross the road?
To show that he wasn’t chicken.
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Why is a turkey similar to a ghost?
Because it’s a-gobblin.
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Why did the Pilgrim kill the turkey?
Because he was in a fowl mood.
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Or, as the turkey said to the Pilgrim,
“You’re a no-good baster.”
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Why are turkeys so good at arithmetic?
Because they count the number of chopping days until Thanksgiving.
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Why did the turkey bolt down his food?
Because she was a gobbler.
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Did you hear about the conservative turkey?
It has two right wings.
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As the leftover turkey said after it was wrapped up and refrigerated,
“Foiled again.”
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If April showers bring May flowers what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims!
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What sound does a space turkey make?
Hubble, hubble, hubble.
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Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside!
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What can you never eat for Thanksgiving dinner?
Breakfast or lunch!
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Thanksgiving:
when turkeys turn from gobblers to gobblees.
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Did you hear about the waiter
who dropped a Thanksgiving dinner on the floor
and feared he had created an international incident?
Another twenty random questions, with the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below.
But please, NO cheating!
Good luck and enjoy.
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Q. 1: Which epic Hollywood film was the most expensive movie made during the 1960s?
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Q. 2: Polynesia means ‘many islands’. What does Melanesia mean?
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Q. 3: Which Beatles song title is mentioned in Don McLean’s hit song ‘American Pie’?
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Q. 4: Which female tennis player won a record 62 Grand Slam titles?
a) Billie Jean King
b) Steffi Graf
c) Martina Navratilova
d) Margaret Smith Court
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Q. 5: What was unusual about the Roman Senator Incitatus?
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Q. 6: What two countries signed the so called ‘Pact of Steel’ on May 22, 1939?
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Q. 7: Who travels from Spain to the Netherlands by steamboat in late November?
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Q. 8: In what prison drama movie, based on a Steven King book, does Morgan Freeman play a starring role?
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Q. 9: The scientific name for which animal is ‘Ursus arctos horribilis’?
a) Grizzly bear
b) Great White shark
c) Grey wolf
d) Killer whale
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Q. 10: What was the name of the German engineer who invented the first rotary engine?
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Q. 11: Formerly called ‘Tsaritsyn’ and then ‘Stalingrad’, what is it called today?
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Q. 12: Lutz, Axel and Camel are terms associated with what sport?
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Q. 13: What is the name for a treat with currants squashed between two thin, oblong biscuits/cookies?
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Q. 14: Name the French cartoon skunk that is madly in love with a reluctant cat?
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Q. 15: What is an ice hockey puck made from?
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Q. 16: On the Voyager 1 spacecraft there is a golden record with greetings in different languages and a collection of various Earth sounds. There is also a 90 minute recording of music from many cultures. Which two composers appear the most on this record?
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Q. 17: The name of which popular US band from the 1970s is an aboriginal expression used to describe an extremely cold evening?
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Q. 18: Which four of the following seven Grand Slam winners were leftys?
a) Rod Laver
b) Jimmy Connors
c) Bjorn Borg
d) John McEnroe
e) Martina Navratilova
f) Boris Becker
g) Pancho Gonzales
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Q. 19: What is the name for a Google search query consisting of exactly two words (actual words found in a dictionary) without quotation marks, that returns exactly one hit?
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Q. 20: Which catchy hit song beginning with the words “Once upon a time there was a tavern” is an English version of a melancholic Russian gypsy song?
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ANSWERS
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Q. 1: Which epic Hollywood film was the most expensive movie made during the 1960s?
A. 1: Cleopatra
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Q. 2: Polynesia means ‘many islands’. What does Melanesia mean?
A. 2: Black islands
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Q. 3: Which Beatles song title is mentioned in Don McLean’s hit song ‘American Pie’?
A. 3: Helter Skelter (“Helter Skelter in the summer swelter”)
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Q. 4: Which female tennis player won a record 62 Grand Slam titles?
a) Billie Jean King
b) Steffi Graf
c) Martina Navratilova
d) Margaret Smith Court
A. 4: d) Margaret Smith Court
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Q. 5: What was unusual about the Roman Senator Incitatus?
A. 5: Incitatus was a horse.
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Q. 6: What two countries signed the so called ‘Pact of Steel’ on May 22, 1939?
A. 6: Nazi Germany and Fascist Italy.
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Q. 7: Who travels from Spain to the Netherlands by steamboat in late November?
A. 7: Sinterklaas / Santa Claus / St. Nicholas
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Q. 8: In what prison drama movie, based on a Steven King book, does Morgan Freeman play a starring role?
A. 8: The Shawshank Redemption
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Q. 9: The scientific name for which animal is ‘Ursus arctos horribilis’?
a) Grizzly bear
b) Great White shark
c) Grey wolf
d) Killer whale
A. 9: a) Grizzly bear
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Q. 10: What was the name of the German engineer who invented the first rotary engine?
A. 10: Wankel (the Wankel Rotary engine)
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Q. 11: Formerly called Tsaritsyn and then Stalingrad, what is it called today?
A. 11: Volgograd
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Q. 12: Lutz, Axel and Camel are terms associated with what sport?
A. 12: Figure skating
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Q. 13: What is the name for a treat with currants squashed between two thin, oblong biscuits/cookies?
A. 13: Garibaldi
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Q. 14: Name the French cartoon skunk that is madly in love with a reluctant cat?
A. 14: Pepe le Pew
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Q. 15: What is an ice hockey puck made from?
A. 15: Rubber
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Q. 16: On the Voyager 1 spacecraft there is a golden record with greetings in different languages and a collection of various Earth sounds. There is also a 90 minute recording of music from many cultures. Which two composers appear the most on this record?
A. 16: Bach and Beethoven
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Q. 17: The name of which popular US band from the 1970s is an aboriginal expression used to describe an extremely cold evening?
A. 17: Three Dog Night.
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Q. 18: Which four of the following seven Grand Slam winners were leftys?
a) Rod Laver
b) Jimmy Connors
c) Bjorn Borg
d) John McEnroe
e) Martina Navratilova
f) Boris Becker
g) Pancho Gonzales
A. 18: a) Rod Laver
b) Jimmy Connors
d) John McEnroe
e) Martina Navratilova
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Q. 19: What is the name for a Google search query consisting of exactly two words (actual words found in a dictionary) without quotation marks, that returns exactly one hit?
A. 19: A ‘Googlewhack’. Published googlewhacks are short-lived, since when published to a web site, the new number of hits will become at least two, one to the original hit found, and one to the publishing site.
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Q. 20: Which catchy hit song beginning with the words “Once upon a time there was a tavern” is an English version of a melancholic Russian gypsy song?
He said I was average – but he was just being mean.
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I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
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Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.
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The little old woman who lived in a shoe wasn’t the sole owner – there were strings attached.
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Never lie to an x-ray technician. They can see right through you.
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We never got the tent up because of all the missed stakes we had.
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The book of incantations was useless. The author had failed to run a spell check.
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I finished my trigonometry exam without a secant to lose.
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Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.
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We were so poor when I was growing up we couldn’t even afford to pay attention.
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I once thought about cloning a new, more efficient brain, but then I realized that I was getting a head of myself.
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If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out, it could spell disaster.
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Biologists have recently produced immortal frogs by removing their vocal cords. They can’t croak.
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The police arrested two kids yesterday, one for drinking battery acid and the other one for eating fireworks. They charged one but let the other one off.
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Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.
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A new type of broom came out, it is sweeping the nation.
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And finally,
Did you know that Macy’s have a contractual obligation to hire an unemployed man every November and December to play Father Christmas? It’s known as the Santa clause.
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