Raw toast is an ideal bread substitute.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Word play day, or more puns if you like that description better.

Endure or enjoy, preferably the latter!

.

rofl

.

“Let’s order some Chinese.”

“To do what?”

Chinese army

.

.

I remember in 1995 when I went to an Oasis gig with my sister and my brother.

When the band came on stage I shouted, “Go Oasis.”

I never saw my sister after that.

Oasis-gig-at-Heaton-Park

.

.

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

pig-clip-art-2

.

.

I went into the hardware store and said,

“These shelves you sold me are useless. I couldn’t even…”

The cashier said, “Put ’em up?”

I said, “Okay, you wanna fight about it? Come on then!”

fight

.

.

I was taking some notes the other day,

when I was arrested and escorted from the bank.

bank_robbery

.

.

I’ve just started a new job at the local slaughterhouse, stunning cows.

…And some of the sheep are pretty good looking too.

cartoon-cow_art

.

.

Did you hear about the neo Nazi builder?

He liked to drill with the bosch.

bosch drill

.

.

As I stood on the tube this morning I thought to myself,

“My pringles are getting crushed”

pringles

.

.

My Pokemon card collection was destroyed in a fire.

I’ve only got Ash now.

Ash

.

.

I was perfectly happy in Mississippi,

Then Mr Sippi came back early from his business trip.

young-man-running-away

.

.

I love watching videos of lakes and rivers on the internet.

I’m viewing a live stream right now.

mossy_stream

.

.

My friend said he met a prostitute who connected a battery charger to his bits.

I said, “Woweee, how much did she charge you?”

Electric Shoc

.

.

Two pencils decided to have a race.

They drew.

cartoon-pencils-friends

.

.

My friend said he’s going to set a new standard in pubs

by opening one on the top of a mountain.

Personally, I think he’s raised the bar too high.

man on top of mountain

.

.

Tattoos are great for preserving memories,

otherwise I would have totally forgotten about those anchors.

popeye-sailor anchor tattoos

.

=================================

.

5 thoughts on “Raw toast is an ideal bread substitute.

Comments are welcome. If you would like to make one on this post this is the place to do it.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s