E-mail Is Post, Modern.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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E-mail is post, modern – get it?

Yes, it’s pun day again.

Enjoy!

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rofl

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The poet had written better poems,

but he’d also written verse.

poetry_butcher_colour_new

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Those who get too big for their britches

will be exposed in the end.

ripped pants

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“This must be an aerobics class!”

the blonde worked out at the gym.

step aerobics

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When the doctor told him he was missing 

a left ventricle and a left aorta 

the patient laughed half-heartedly.

half_hearted

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I’ve got some good advice for the camera shy.

Use coconuts instead.

cartoon-coconut-joke

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I like European food so I decided to Russia over there

because I was Hungary. After Czech’ing the menu

I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished

I told the waiter, Spain good,

but there is Norway I could eat another bite

europe_map_political

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Those who study the moon are optimists

– they look at the bright side.

moon bright dark sides

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To learn rope tricks you have to be taut.

rope trick

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You know, vultures can make really good comedy actors.

I really loved them in those old “Carrion” movies.

vulture

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When a skunk walked in, the judge said,

‘odor in the court’.

Skunk

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a light-bulb?

Dyslexic-CPR

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I had an accident in chemistry class yesterday

when I spilled some sodium chloride

and sulphuric acid over myself.

It was terrible.

I didn’t know how to react.

chemistry class

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I’ve just gone into the bedroom

and someone’s stolen my bed.

Honestly.

I’m not lying.

empty-master-bedroom

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My friends tell me that I’m terrible at telling jokes.

I always punch up the mess line.

spitzer_punchline

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The phone rings, and the wife answers it.

A pervert, with heavy breathing, says,

“I bet you have a tight ass with no hair.”

Woman replies, “Yes, he’s watching TV – who shall I say is calling?”

woman-in-curlers-and-her-robe-answering-a-phone-call-by-ron-leishman-16781

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Did You Know – More Facts For Fun.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to another selection of fasab’s facts for fun.

A more than random list of unusual facts that may come in handy some day. I wouldn’t count on it, but you never know. It has happened believe it or not!

So read on and enjoy.

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did you know4

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The only U.S. president to have been the head of a union

was Ronald Reagan,

a former president of the Screen Actors Guild.

Ronald Reagan at his desk

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Just proving that not everybody is all bad,

“Pretty Boy” Floyd, one of America’s most notorious bank robbers,

was known for destroying mortgage papers,

consequently freeing hundreds of people from property debt.

gangster-pretty-boy-floyd-tote-bag

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A man in China has kept himself alive with

a homemade dialysis machine for 13 years.

Home made dialysis machine

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Divorce is legal in every nation in the world

except in the Philippines and in Vatican City.

divorce_pic1

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In 1755 Benjamin Franklin organized the first

regular monthly mail packet service

between Falmouth, England, and New York,

and opened the first official post office in Canada

(in Halifax, Nova Scotia), to link Halifax with

the Atlantic colonies and the packet service to England.

Benjamin Franklin

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About half the geysers on Earth

are located in Yellowstone National Park.

Old_Faithful_13

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Your brain makes imaginary monsters when you stare in a mirror.

(Either that or you don’t look as good as you thought!)

cat and mirror

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While most of it lies in Africa,

a small part of Egypt is located in Asia, as well.

Egypt_map

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The White House has a variety of recreational facilities

available to its residents, including a tennis court, a jogging track,

swimming pool, movie theater, billiard room, and a bowling lane.

white-house

Click here to take an interactive tour

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The Australian $5 to $100 notes are made of plastic.

aussie-money

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A skunk’s smell can be detected by a human a mile away.

Skunk-in-Grass

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The poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s wife died

when a dropped match ignited her enormous hoop skirt.

fanny-wadsworth

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Alabama was the first state to

recognize Christmas as an official holiday.

Alabama Christmas

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If your eyes are six feet above the surface of the ocean,

the horizon will be about three statute miles away.

hopes_on_the_horizon

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The longest freshwater shoreline in the world

is located in the state of Michigan.

Michigan shoreline

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Carbon monoxide is deadly.

It can kill a person in less than 15 minutes

carbon-monoxide-gas-safety

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In 1876, the first microphone was invented by Emile Berliner.

emile_berliner

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When Nadia Comaneci became the first gymnast

to score a perfect 10, the scoreboard wasn’t prepared.

Her score was reported as “1.00.”

Comaneci-1976

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The accent that Mike Myers used for the character Shrek

came from the accent that his mother would use

when she was telling him bedtime stories when he was a child.

Shrek_fierce

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Johnny Cash’s “A Boy Named Sue” was written by Shel Silverstein.

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More Stupid Questions About Stupid Things Asked By Stupid People

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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A continuation from last week when we looked at stupid questions about stupid things asked by stupid people, who seem to get worried about the most inconsequential trivia.

As with last week’s warning, don’t try to analyze these, you’ll just get a headache!

Enjoy!

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If men and women have hair in all the same places, why do we bother shaving?

salma-hayek-as-the-bearded-lady

Are there any longitudinal studies of the development of honesty in children?

longtitudinal studies

What should not be found in urine?

urine sample

Has anyone ever experienced the ‘White light’ sensation?

white light

How do you get rid of the smell of Skunk from your hunting clothes?

skunked

Can you get drunk from eating pickled eggs and if so, is it socially acceptable in Alsaka?

pickled eggs

Is beer more harmful than the wine?

beer-vs-wine

Is the name Greyanne is the most popular name in the world?

greyanne_by_raeraychan

What are the effects of “sex” on human body?

contradictions

What are rights of parents?

Parents rights cartoon

Why don’t woodpeckers get concussions?

Woody Woodpecker

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