I Had To Post A Few Turkey Puns Today, Of Course They Are Fowl.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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A very happy Thanksgiving to all in America who read this.

I hope everyone everywhere, not just in America, is getting into the spirit of the day and giving thanks for the many good things in their lives.

But Thanksgiving or not, it’s still pun day. A little different today in that there is a mixture of pictorial puns with a distinct nautical theme and, of course, puns with a Thanksgiving theme too.

Enjoy!

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What does a turkey like to eat on Thanksgiving?

Nothing; they are already stuffed.

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Why did the turkey cross the road?

To show that he wasn’t chicken.

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Why is a turkey similar to a ghost?

Because it’s a-gobblin.

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Why did the Pilgrim kill the turkey?

Because he was in a fowl mood.

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Or, as the turkey said to the Pilgrim,

“You’re a no-good baster.”

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Why are turkeys so good at arithmetic?

Because they count the number of chopping days until Thanksgiving.

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Why did the turkey bolt down his food?

Because she was a gobbler.

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Did you hear about the conservative turkey?

It has two right wings.

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As the leftover turkey said after it was wrapped up and refrigerated,

“Foiled again.”

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If April showers bring May flowers what do May flowers bring?

Pilgrims!

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What sound does a space turkey make?

Hubble, hubble, hubble.

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Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?

The outside!

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What can you never eat for Thanksgiving dinner?

Breakfast or lunch!

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Thanksgiving:

when turkeys turn from gobblers to gobblees.

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Did you hear about the waiter

who dropped a Thanksgiving dinner on the floor

and feared he had created an international incident?

It was the downfall of Turkey,

the ruin of Greece,

and the breaking up of China.

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Happy Thanksgiving Day Everybody

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Well it’s Thursday again BUT it’s also Thanksgiving Day so perhaps some people will have a lot better things to do than read my blog today.

Whatever you are doing and wherever you are doing it, have a great and a lovely celebration whether you are with family, friends or just on your own.

For those who do care to take a few minutes to check out this blog, particularly for those in other countries who may not be celebrating on this particular day here is another selection of the bad jokes we like to call puns.

I just had to post this today because tomorrow I’ll probably be doing cold turkey. 

In case you hadn’t noticed, we’ve started. Read on and enjoy!

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I used to be a banker but I lost interest  

 

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How do you make antifreeze? Steal her blanket.

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Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.        

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He wears glasses during math because it improves division.      

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A bacteria walked into a bar and the bartender said, ‘We don’t serve bacteria in this place.’

The bacteria said, ‘But I work here, I’m staph.’

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He has been a jogger for three years running.    

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In a recession, the most secure job is garbage-man. Business is always picking up.

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Do optometrists live long because they dilate?

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I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.

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I just got of these new reversible jackets? I’m excited to see how it turns out.

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John Deere’s manure spreader is the only equipment the company won’t stand behind.

 

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Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink. 

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I’m not a big fan of archery. It has too many strings attached and lots of drawbacks.

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I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn’t help me.

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Why did the capacitor kiss the diode? He just couldn’t resistor.

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A rule of grammar: double negatives are a no-no.

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Is the patron saint of poverty St. Nickeless.

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My new theory on inertia doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.

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I relish the fact that you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to me.         

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Weight loss mantra? Fat chants!

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CLASSIFIED: For Your Eyes Only, Part Two!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Time today for another selection of those classified ads we all love to read. Pick your favorite or just enjoy them all. No doubt a lot of hard work was put into getting them so perfect for publication, which just goes to show that it takes a little bfain power as well as effort to get the desired result.

Enjoy!

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