E-mail Is Post, Modern.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


E-mail is post, modern – get it?

Yes, it’s pun day again.





The poet had written better poems,

but he’d also written verse.




Those who get too big for their britches

will be exposed in the end.

ripped pants



“This must be an aerobics class!”

the blonde worked out at the gym.

step aerobics



When the doctor told him he was missing 

a left ventricle and a left aorta 

the patient laughed half-heartedly.




I’ve got some good advice for the camera shy.

Use coconuts instead.




I like European food so I decided to Russia over there

because I was Hungary. After Czech’ing the menu

I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished

I told the waiter, Spain good,

but there is Norway I could eat another bite




Those who study the moon are optimists

– they look at the bright side.

moon bright dark sides



To learn rope tricks you have to be taut.

rope trick



You know, vultures can make really good comedy actors.

I really loved them in those old “Carrion” movies.




When a skunk walked in, the judge said,

‘odor in the court’.




How does it change many dyslexics to take a light-bulb?




I had an accident in chemistry class yesterday

when I spilled some sodium chloride

and sulphuric acid over myself.

It was terrible.

I didn’t know how to react.

chemistry class



I’ve just gone into the bedroom

and someone’s stolen my bed.


I’m not lying.




My friends tell me that I’m terrible at telling jokes.

I always punch up the mess line.




The phone rings, and the wife answers it.

A pervert, with heavy breathing, says,

“I bet you have a tight ass with no hair.”

Woman replies, “Yes, he’s watching TV – who shall I say is calling?”





Punchy Punitive Punditry Today? – No, Just More Puny Pungent Puns!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


Yes it’s another selection of those groan-making jokes carefully wrapped up in the thing we call puns.

Enjoy, if you can.



When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.


What did the grape say when it got stepped on?

Nothing – but it let out a little whine.


A criminal’s best asset is his lie ability.


Be true to your teeth, or they will be false to you.


If you give some managers an inch they think they’re a ruler.


Gravity is studied a lot because it’s a very attractive field.


Old lawyers never die they just lose their appeal.


Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.


When women enter middle age, it gives men a pause.


Prison walls are never built to scale.


There was a guy who was fired from the orange juice factory for lack of concentration.


We were so poor when I was growing up we couldn’t even afford to pay attention.


I used to be a tap dancer until I fell in the sink.


When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.


The poet had written better poems, but he’d also written verse.


There was a ghost at the hotel, so they called for an inn spectre.


Ancient orators tended to Babylon.


What do you call a melon that’s not allowed to get married?

Can’t elope.


For plumbers, a flush beats a full house.


Did you hear about the guy who sent ten puns to friends, in the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.