Raw toast is an ideal bread substitute.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Word play day, or more puns if you like that description better.

Endure or enjoy, preferably the latter!

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rofl

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“Let’s order some Chinese.”

“To do what?”

Chinese army

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I remember in 1995 when I went to an Oasis gig with my sister and my brother.

When the band came on stage I shouted, “Go Oasis.”

I never saw my sister after that.

Oasis-gig-at-Heaton-Park

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If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

pig-clip-art-2

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I went into the hardware store and said,

“These shelves you sold me are useless. I couldn’t even…”

The cashier said, “Put ’em up?”

I said, “Okay, you wanna fight about it? Come on then!”

fight

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I was taking some notes the other day,

when I was arrested and escorted from the bank.

bank_robbery

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I’ve just started a new job at the local slaughterhouse, stunning cows.

…And some of the sheep are pretty good looking too.

cartoon-cow_art

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Did you hear about the neo Nazi builder?

He liked to drill with the bosch.

bosch drill

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As I stood on the tube this morning I thought to myself,

“My pringles are getting crushed”

pringles

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My Pokemon card collection was destroyed in a fire.

I’ve only got Ash now.

Ash

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I was perfectly happy in Mississippi,

Then Mr Sippi came back early from his business trip.

young-man-running-away

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I love watching videos of lakes and rivers on the internet.

I’m viewing a live stream right now.

mossy_stream

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My friend said he met a prostitute who connected a battery charger to his bits.

I said, “Woweee, how much did she charge you?”

Electric Shoc

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Two pencils decided to have a race.

They drew.

cartoon-pencils-friends

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My friend said he’s going to set a new standard in pubs

by opening one on the top of a mountain.

Personally, I think he’s raised the bar too high.

man on top of mountain

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Tattoos are great for preserving memories,

otherwise I would have totally forgotten about those anchors.

popeye-sailor anchor tattoos

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CLASSIFIED: For Your Eyes Only, Part Eleven!!!!!!!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Here are the latest selection in the series of classic classified ads. More proof, if more were needed, that you really should be careful what you want to say and how you say it, because it doesn’t always turn out the way you thought it would.

Enjoy.

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classified ad 223.

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classified ad 10 percent satisfied.

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classified ad 224 .

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classified ad 299 per month.

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classified ad 225.

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classified ad 2 days only.

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classified ad 226.

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classified ad 5000 golf balls.

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classified ad 227.

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classified ad 2 way radio.

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classified ad 228.

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classified ad 666 ad for bibles.

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classified ad 229.

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classified ad after Easter Tarantulas.

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classified ad 230.

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classified ad  all you can eat fish and salad.

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