“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Using words incorrectly may be addicting, but so are puns.
Here is this week’s word play selection.
Enjoy or endure!
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The skin on all the oranges in our
kitchen cupboard has been scraped off.
I think somebody has been taking the pith.
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My friend composes ditties about sewing machines.
She’s a Singer songwriter.
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They say male lions will often turn to
cannibalism when they’re desperate for food.
They just have to swallow their pride.
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I went to the optician and he said I was short sighted.
I said, “Nonsense – I’m very open minded.”
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I said to my friend,
“It’s important that no-one mentions any film production companies.”
“How important is it?” he asked.
“Paramount,” I replied.
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My friend’s father has been living in Iraq’s
capital for the last year with an awful woman.
He’s just told him,
“you’ve got to leave that old bag dad.”
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It’s amazing how a piece of technology
as simple as a tablet can revolutionize your life.
Those viagra are amazing.
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I have an intelligent Taser.
Whenever I use it on someone it explains to
them in no uncertain terms why I’m doing it.
I call it my frank zapper.
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How do they search online in Israel?
They just go on the Netanyahu.
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My next door neighbor recently won the lottery.
She always had gender issues and
felt she was a man trapped in a woman’s body,
so the first thing she did was have a sex change.
Who said money can’t buy a penis?
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“I love having red hair – the ladies really dig it,”
said Tom, gingerly.
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When they bought a water bed,
the couple started to drift apart.
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The world’s largest DIY store chain
is to run their own schools,
the curriculum will be normal but
the day will start with self-assembly.
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My son is being forced to smoke by our French exchange student.
Pierre Pressure.
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Documentary on the Pointer Sisters tonight.
I’m so excited.
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