I’ve Always Found That The Letter ‘N’ Divides Opinion

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


There’s no getting away from it, the letter ‘n’ does divide opinion.

And so too does that little word play device called the Pun.

For those who like them and for those who like to hate them here is another selection.

Enjoy or Endure!




Getting a job repairing revolving doors

was a real turning point in my life.

Revolving door overhaul and repair



I have a friend who is ambidextrous illiterate…

He can’t write anything with both hands.




My wife asked me “Would you say that I was likeable?”

I said “No love, bulls are male. You’re like a cow.”





What is Stephen Hawking’s favourite cream?


Stephen Hawking keyboard



I’ve never asked a rhetorical question.

How cool is that?




I once got asked to do a sketch of

an old gameshow host dressed up as a Charlies Angel.

I drew Barrymore.

drew Barrymore



There’s a gang going through our town,

systematically shoplifting clothes in size order…

The police believe they’re still at large.

clothes in size order



I know a guy who has one eye bigger than the other.

His name is Iain.

forest-whitaker-one eye bigger than the other



A recent study proved that I shouldn’t try

to add unnecessary rooms to my house.




There is a remote tribe

that worships the number Zero.

Is nothing sacred?

number Zero



What cheese do you use

to disguise horse meat?





Yesterday, a Lumberjack slipped

and cut into his leg with a chainsaw.

He lost a lot of blood, but although

they managed to stem the flow,

paramedics say he is still not out of the woods yet.




I’m not afraid of flying.

I am, however, afraid of being 35,000 feet

in the air and suddenly “not” flying.




I don’t know what the fascination is with strip clubs.

It’s just the same old thong and dance.

thong and dance



Elton John has got so fat recently, he is having

to have his trousers specially made for him,

He’s had to say goodbye normal jeans…





Does A Man Need A Mistress Just To Break The Monogamy?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


Let’s not get into a discussion on marriage.

Rather just investigate some more of those word plays we call puns.

Enjoy or endure!




Did you hear about the two crooks who bought a hotel.

They were inn-mates.




“This fishing tackle tastes disgusting!”

he said with baited breath.

fishing tackle



So the barman says to Paddy,

“Your glass is empty, would you like another one?”

“Another one?” Paddy replies,

“Sure what would I want with two empty glasses?”

in bar



In America,

2pac’s of Eminem’s cost 50 Cents.

That’s Ludacris.




We’ve got neighbors from Hell

A lovely old Norwegian couple…

Images of Norway



“I had a vision out of the cornea of my eye

that you would be a great pupil,”

the teacher said.




My wife had one of those near death experiences last night

Silly woman thought she could vacuum the floors

while the super bowl was on.

vacuum cleaner



When a college dormitory exploded

a lot of roomers were flying.




CNN News “Tree Falls On Bank”

Didn’t say what branch though.

tree falls on building



When Billy was sent to prison the first thing he said

to his cell mate was, “I won’t be in here long”

“Well the judge gave you six years,” his cell mate said.

“Yeah I know,” Billy replied. “But my wife will break me out

she’s never let me finish a sentence before.”




By the way,

I’m hosting a charity evening and raffle this Saturday evening

to raise money for people who struggle to reach orgasm.

If you can’t come let me know.




What do you call a man with no shins?


(Get it? No shins, Toe-Knee.)

man with no shins



My son just asked, “Dad, can you tell me what gay means?”

“It means to be happy,” I replied.

“Are you gay, dad?”

“No, son. I married your mother!”

father and son



My route to work has been scattered with average speed cameras.

You’d think the tight asses would have shelled out for the decent ones.

average speed camera



I’m just off for a meeting with an Indian car maker.








Did You Know? More From The Strange Fact File

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


Here is another very random selection of strange facts from fasab’s files.

As with other in this series, by the time you have read these you will know more than you did and possible more than you want to.

But have a look anyway.




The adult electric eel can produce a five hundred volt shock,

which is enough to stun a horse

– and I don’t mean a seahorse!

electric eel


As an iceberg melts, it makes a fizzing sound
because of the compressed air bubbles popping in the ice


Kermit the frog delivered the commencement address

at Southampton College located in the state of New York in 1996


The mythical Scottish town of Brigadoon

appears for one day every one hundred years


A rainbow can occur only when the sun

is 40 degrees or less above the horizon


The most common injury caused by cosmetics

is to the eye by a mascara wand



The sound made by the toadfish when mating underwater

is so loud that it can be heard by humans on the shore


In America, approximately 20% of children between

the ages of 2 – 7 have televisions in their rooms


Families who do turn off the television during meals tend to eat healthier.

This was regardless of family income, or education


Two out of five people end up marrying their first love

first love

Forty-one percent of women apply body and

hand moisturizer at least three times a day


Scientists have determined that having guilty feelings

may actually damage your immune system

Feeling Guilty after Eating pactket in my Papperoni__

The first box of Crayola that was ever sold

had the same eight colours that are sold in the box today

consisting of red, blue, yellow, green, violet, orange, black and brown.

The box was sold for a nickel in 1903


The best time for a person to buy shoes is in the afternoon.

This is because the foot tends to swell a bit around this time


According to psychologists, the shoe and the foot

are the most common sources of sexual fetishism in Western society

foot fetish


Bank robber John Dillinger played professional baseball

dillinger baseball
John Dillinger top left

The first company to mass produce teddy bears was the Ideal Toy Company


Flight pioneer and pilot, Orville Wright,

was involved in the first aircraft accident.

His passenger was killed.

Orville Wright crash

The mother of famous astronomer Johannes Kepler

was accused of being a witch

Johannes Kepler 1610

In the past 60 years, the groundhog has only predicted

the weather correctly 28% of the time.

The rushing back and forth from burrows

is believed to indicate sexual activity, not shadow seeking