Does A Man Need A Mistress Just To Break The Monogamy?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Let’s not get into a discussion on marriage.

Rather just investigate some more of those word plays we call puns.

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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Did you hear about the two crooks who bought a hotel.

They were inn-mates.

cell-mates

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“This fishing tackle tastes disgusting!”

he said with baited breath.

fishing tackle

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So the barman says to Paddy,

“Your glass is empty, would you like another one?”

“Another one?” Paddy replies,

“Sure what would I want with two empty glasses?”

in bar

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In America,

2pac’s of Eminem’s cost 50 Cents.

That’s Ludacris.

ludacris

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We’ve got neighbors from Hell

A lovely old Norwegian couple…

Images of Norway

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“I had a vision out of the cornea of my eye

that you would be a great pupil,”

the teacher said.

eye

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My wife had one of those near death experiences last night

Silly woman thought she could vacuum the floors

while the super bowl was on.

vacuum cleaner

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When a college dormitory exploded

a lot of roomers were flying.

kaboom

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CNN News “Tree Falls On Bank”

Didn’t say what branch though.

tree falls on building

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When Billy was sent to prison the first thing he said

to his cell mate was, “I won’t be in here long”

“Well the judge gave you six years,” his cell mate said.

“Yeah I know,” Billy replied. “But my wife will break me out

she’s never let me finish a sentence before.”

law-order-gaol-gaols-prisons-crime-criminal-ksmn2964l

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By the way,

I’m hosting a charity evening and raffle this Saturday evening

to raise money for people who struggle to reach orgasm.

If you can’t come let me know.

raffle_tickets

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What do you call a man with no shins?

Tony.

(Get it? No shins, Toe-Knee.)

man with no shins

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My son just asked, “Dad, can you tell me what gay means?”

“It means to be happy,” I replied.

“Are you gay, dad?”

“No, son. I married your mother!”

father and son

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My route to work has been scattered with average speed cameras.

You’d think the tight asses would have shelled out for the decent ones.

average speed camera

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I’m just off for a meeting with an Indian car maker.

Tata.

Tata-Motors

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Help A Victimized Child And Stop The Idiots In Florida!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes folks, sadly, the idiots have invaded the state organizations in Florida too.

And they are doing what they do best  –  inflicting needless misery on ordinary decent people.

This time the victim is a teenage girl, Kiera Wilmot, who has been expelled from her school and was arrested and charged with causing a totally harmless “explosion” by mixing household products in a plastic bottle.

The incident happened when she and another pupil of the school, mixed up some common household products in a plastic bottle – having heard that something amusing might result.

They did it outdoors on school premises. The resulting “blast” was not even sufficient to rupture the plastic bottle, merely popping off the top and generating some smoke.

Unfortunately for the luckless teenager, however, an idiot was at hand in the form of an assistant principal. He called the police and idiot number two, the responding officer, phoned idiot number three, a state prosecutor (named in the police report as Assistant State Attorney Tammy Glotfelty).

Isn’t it strange they way they all know each other – there must be a Secret Idiot Network, a bit like the Masons, that you are asked to join when you are deemed to be stupid enough!

Idiot three, the Assistant State Attorney, also known as a “R-Q’er” or “Regulation Quoter”, advised that Kiera be charged with “possessing or discharging weapons or firearms at a school sponsored event or on school property” and “making, possessing, throwing, projecting, placing or discharging any destructive device”.

As a result, local education officials (idiots 4 thru whatever), decided that Kiera had to be expelled from school.

Now the poor girl will have to try to complete her education in an “expulsion program”, and faces the future stigma of a serious criminal conviction.

In case you are wondering, Kiera’s killer cocktail consisted of nothing more than toilet cleaner and aluminum foil, so if you have either or both of these in your home  –  and I bet you do  –  then I guess if the wrong idiot came along he could charge you with having bomb-making materials! Never mind, they say the weather is nice and warm at Guantanimo.

Prior to her career as a bomb-maker, Kiera had never been in trouble. Even her school principle, Ron Pritchard, told WTSP News, “She is a good kid. She has never been in trouble before. Ever.”

Ron, in my opinion, you would be a lot better off getting rid of that idiot assistant of yours who started all this nonsense, rather than a good student.

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If, having read this, you feel the urge to help Kiera, there is an online petition addressed to several relevant local officials that says:

Please, do the right thing. Drop these charges and apologize for the incredible turmoil you have created.

To go to the petition please click here

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Remember, as I say at the start of every post, we have to “Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”. Otherwise one day they might be coming for YOU!

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